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Chapter 9

Kaleb's point of view

It's amazing how a few hours of sleep will absolutely…

Change nothing! Amazing after hoping Jake "sort of" spoken to Nessie he's still moody and depressed. Along with the whole dang others who imprinted. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not chained down like the others.

"But you also love Nessie. You count that as being chained down?" Embry asked right after Jake finished explaining to us that Bella was coming to the reservation.

"No. She isn't forced to love me as she is-"

"Kaleb!" Jake shouted. "Not now."

Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Brady, Seth, and Collin got in some bad arguments with their imprints. It was so bad that surprisingly Emily, Kim, and Rachel kicked the three out. Brady and Collin's girls were insecure. Karli basically told Embry that he should leave her alone for a "few" days. Abby said that she wants "space to think."

And the funny thing is that the whole topic was about Nessie.

"It's not funny!" Paul shouted.

But you want to know the crappiest part about all of this? I don't only have to put up with not only one heartbreak, but I now have eight heartbroken wolves that can't man up and apologize.

"That's it!" Jared shouted, taking the chance to do what everybody else was wanting to do.

Kill me.

"Jared," Jake commanded. "Kim is probably nervous about the wedding. Kaleb, just shut up."

I wondered if Jake really spoke to Nessie via dream If he did, wouldn't he be in a better mood? To me he just sounds crazy.

I kept my mouth shut as Jake told me too but I wouldn't quit thinking. He can't take away that.

With Jake's comment being made, it ticked Jared off even more. "Well what was Nessie's excuse? You thought she was nervous about the wedding when she was really hiding that fact that she doesn't love you!" he shouted.

All of us stopped short, shocked at what was said, but Jake kept running his perimeter as if it didn't bother him. His thoughts told us other wise.

We could tell what Jared's comment had done to Jake. It was like a big, gigantic slap in the face. It was true. Jake thought he knew Nessie. He thought Nessie was okay but she wasn't. She came to me wither her worries about her future instead of going to Jake. She knew that Jake would be a better person to talk to than I was. They had a deeper relationship than I could ever dream of having with her. It's just that I want to be near her so bad. Jake may love her more but he can't take away her friends. He can't tell Nessie who she wants to be friends with.

"But you love her. You were with her more than I was. That's not something I can easily forget." Jake said. I didn't answer.

We were all silent; and I was drowning in this pity party. It was hard sharing the same mind as a bunch of heartbroken grown men who don't have the balls to apologize.

"You try hearing your girl tell you to stay away from her for a few days before she leaves for college!" Embry shouted.

That's how it was for the past twenty minutes. I just laid down on the damp forest floor. Jake wasn't going to do anything to stop it so why should I continue my patrol?

"Thank God Claire is too young for a relationship." Quil joked.

"Just wait, it's coming. I think September's like a bad omen or something." Brady said, in which at that comment Jake growled at him.

I had to go through more suffocating heartbroken wolves until my brother phased.

"I thought you quit?" I smirked as I remembered the reason why he did quit.

"Fight." was all Kyle said.

"I rest my case!" Brady interrupted like he was a lawyer-which he didn't have the brains for.

"Jake, you're a pro at imprint arguments. What do you think?" Collin asked Jacob, which only struck a nerve with him.

"You know what I think? You're too worried that they'll pack up and leave that you haven't thought that maybe they need you. Maybe something is going on that they're afraid to bring up because they know you'll blow up in their face!

"This-this happening is the most painful thing that can happen to me! I'd rather take death over Nessie telling me she hates me. All of you know what hell I go through everyday. This isn't something I would want to wish my worst enemy to go through! If you think I'm a pro at it then maybe you're right! I can't keep one single woman that I love! I've been burned twice so why not go back for another one! So if you don't want to end up like poor, broken hearted me then I suggest you man up and go talk to your imprints!" Jake yelled.

"Maybe you should take your own advice." Sam said for the first time in a while.

Jake thought this over as I did. We both say that we love Nessie but we won't man up and talk to her. I won't admit that I was wrong. That it was pathetic to fight over something that wasn't mine. I'm only making it hard on everybody.

"Bella should be here any minute." Jake huffed.

"Do you think it's best for the reservation that she come over on our land?" Paul asked.

"She has Jake's permission. I don't see what's wrong with it." I defended, my old role as Beta taking over.

"Of course you would. You're hoping to suck up to the Cullens so they would like you if Nessie was stupid enough to pick you."

"Paul! Enough. She won't break our treaty. She has my permission and the Elders'. I don't see what the big deal is." Jake shouted.

You know, with Nessie's birthday being tomorrow, he's in a lot better mood than I thought he would be.

"Because I'm trying not to kill everybody and you're making it hard!"

I spoke to soon.

And with that being said, Jake phased.

"Nice going." Quil mumbled.

"Take being happy somewhere else, Quil, it's sickening." Jared snapped.

"Well your attitude kind of sucks too so I don't blame Quil." Kyle snapped back.

"Alright. Nothing is going to get done with arguing. Quil, you think you can handle it? I've got something I've got to do." Sam said then changed back to man

"I still think September is a bad omen." Brady said.

"Will you please shut up!" my "baby" brother growled, getting annoyed.

"You're the one-"

"Both of you shut up." Third in Command growled.

"I can't take it anymore!" Paul said.

"Agreed." Jared added. Both phased along with Brady and Collin.

"Now it's up to you two." Kyle joked to Seth and Embry. I was shocked he was so calm even after Leah's mad at him.

"She's not mad at me. We just had a fight. Nothing big." my brother said. "I just walked away because we both needed time to cool down. In an hour or so I'll go back and we'll hit the reset button."

Reset…I wish that could actually happen. I would go back and tell my feelings to Nessie a lot sooner than I did. I would tell Jake how I felt about her. I wouldn't push my brother away.

I wonder if I could go a lot further than that. If I could, I would try my best not to fall in love with the Alpha's girl. I wouldn't hurt so many girls by my recklessness. I wouldn't have been with Nessie when her wedding was only two weeks away.

I would have changed so many things in my life just to have a better one. Just to have Jake's old one. I would have my mother, my father, my siblings, the girl I love. We would raise a family. My father would be proud to have a grandson to carry on the Cooper last name. My mother would cry because I finally found the girl I loved.

"I've missed mom too, man." Kyle said. Funny thing is he only mentioned mom. Not our father.

"Don't start on him."

While I was the one who took our mother's death hard, Kyle took Dad's disappearance the hardest. He felt like it was the ultimate betrayal. He chose to run over his own sons. He made his eldest grow up quick and raise two of his others.

I wondered if that was why my brother was so cautious with wanting to marry and have kids with Leah. Maybe that's why I haven't been bound and determined to pursue Nessie. It might be because we don't want to go down the same path our father went down and let our kids go through what we had to.

The guys didn't comment on what Kyle and I were talking about. I was grateful for it because a topic with my mother's death, my father leaving, us worried about our future, and a bunch of other what if's was a touchy subject.

"So what's up in paradise?"

"Karli said she doesn't know if she can handle my world. What does that suppose to mean?" Embry asked.

"Meaning you just got dumped." Oliver commented.

"Seth?"

"Abby says she wants space to think…"

Meaning she broke up with him because she's doubting the imprint love.

"Thanks a lot, Kaleb. You've made this a lot easier on me. Because you've ruined one relationship so why don't you just ruin mine?!" Seth trailed.

"Calm down, kid-"

"I am calm!"

All of us ran in silence, mostly waiting for Seth and Embry to calm down. Well I should most of us waited. I just stayed where I was laying.

"How's Claire?" Thomas asked, trying to make the conversation good instead of awkward silence. He was kind of the new one who thought he could keep everything calm. I think he's learning quick that he isn't doing that great of a job.

"Spoiled. Her birthday party's next week." Quil answered, in a better mood as the topic moved to Claire.

"What is she going to make you dress up?" I laughed. Claire's been known to dress Quil up in hilarious costumes that we never let him forget.

"I think Emily's making me dress up like a clown." he answered.

"You think Jake's going to make it to the Council Meeting?" Seth asked. I highly doubted it so count me out.

"He has too. An Alpha always has to be there, right?" Oliver asked.

"Physically, yeah he has too. Knowing Jake though he'll make sure his mind is somewhere else." Embry answered.

And that's probably what state I'll be in too

~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~

Jacob's point of view:

My father and the rest of the elders didn't mind Bella coming back around. Our truce lessened that up a little. But they and the pack felt a little wayward when it comes to one being on our land-even if I imprinted on a half vampire. I couldn't blame them because I was even cautious. Yeah, the Cullens were the good vampires and I was comfortable around them, but it made me even wary if they would feed on our land.

So we rearranged the peace treaty my great-grandfather set years ago. Not all of them would be allowed to come on our reservation. They would have to get my permission and escorted around by a pack member. It was so bad, I even had to watch Renesmee for a while to see what she would do. Of course nothing happened and she was allowed to roam freely. That and she was the Alpha's imprint and she used that to her advantage.

And today's visit wasn't any different. Somebody was going to phase I knew for sure even if it was just Bella coming. That's the way it goes.

Bella decided to miss a hunting trip just to see how her idiotic best friend, who was in love wit her daughter, was. It sounds messed up, don't it? Thankfully the house was done.

My mind went back to the guys' problem. It wasn't my business. I definitely didn't want to know what Paul and my sister's problem was. But thanks to wolf telepathy I knew everything.

I now sat in the new, furnished, painted, and about to be for sale, house doing nothing. I had a few thousand left in my bank account so I put all my time into finishing this house. Thankfully people stepped into help and we got it done in no time.

My thoughts drifted back to the day I was hoping, by a miracle, to avoid. September tenth. Renesmee's birthday. Which was only I don't know…in twenty-four hours!

Maybe I should call her again? No. She won't pick up on my calls any other day, why would she pick up when it was her birthday. Maybe I could write her a letter? I suck at that. Or why don't I take my own advise and go see her? That's not such a bad idea.

"Jake," Kyle shouted, "got Bella!" I already smelt the stench.

I huffed and walked outside to meet Bella. To be polite only. I told her I would meet her outside La Push so I wouldn't hear it from the guys, but she said she wanted to remember her human memories. I agreed because I really didn't care. I just didn't want to hear it from my father after he set the tribal meeting on Nessie's birthday, and I went off on him. Of course Bella had to tell me that I was in the wrong and I should apologize but I didn't. She hasn't had much luck with her own daughter so she shouldn't be worried about me.

"Hey, Jake." Bella said as her eyebrows squished together in a worried way.

I didn't answer back, only looking down. I didn't love Bella in any romantic way but Nessie had some of her features. Even if Edward was standing right in front of me it would still hurt. Because they were apart of Nessie. It hurts to be with anybody she's interacted with. It brings back old memories.

"No hey Bells, how's life?" Bella asked as she walked into the living room. "Wow! It finally has leg room!" she joked. I shrugged.

"Come on, Jake. Just because I'm here doesn't mean you need to shut into a turtle shell."

"What do you want me to say?" I snapped, trying to stay human.

Bella stayed silent, only walking around to look at the changes. "Maybe you should go into architecture. You know Esme does some renovation on antique homes. You should see the house in Hoquiam." Bella said. I simply just rolled my eyes.

I wasn't stupid. I knew her plan to change the subject just to get me to open up. Nessie had to get it from somewhere. "Why the sudden change of subject?" I asked as I looked down at the hardwood floor. Real mature.

"I know you're about to either phase or break down so…" she shrugged. "I've got to tell you something."

"I'm about to do that either way. Probably both so you might want to go ahead and tell me." I plopped down on the couch. Bella eased into the chair then faced me.

"I talked to Nessie."

At first it brought a stabbing pain to hear her name then my blood ran cold. I felt cold-which is strange since I run way over one-hundred degrees. Nessie finally talked to somebody? Would she call me?

"Wha-what did she say?" I stammered

"She cried. I swear, Jake, if I could cry I would have broke down with her. It hurts to know that my baby is confused and I can't do anything!" Bella exclaimed.

I felt sorry for her. What all came down to was Nessie hurt all of us by leaving. Her family was hurting as much as I was.

I awkwardly moved closer to her and grabbed her hand. It felt weird to do this. We both fought the urge to shake it off but decided as friends we shouldn't. "Now you know what I'm going through." I said, trying to make it sound as light as possible.

Bella didn't answer but took her hand out of mine. I moved back to my original to make it more comfortable for the both of us.

"Why did she leave?" I asked.

"She's…I don't know. She won't tell me. To me it sounds like she's confused. She's regretting what she done from what I could hear. She mostly just cried."

"What's she's confused about? What's she regretting."

"She's confused about herself. I mean she's almost four and she's in a grown woman's body. She's been through stuff that's made her question the choices she's made. She's afraid she's going to make the wrong ones." Bella said.

I looked down at my clenched hands. She was confused about herself? Now I'm even more confused.

"How are you doing?" Bella asked after a while of silence.

I looked at her as if that was a stupid question-which it was. She know how much it is killing me to have her daughter love me, hate me, or whatever. But do I tell her the whole truth? "I'm fine. " I answered in a strangled voice as I didn't look Bella in the eye to answer.

"I think my definition of the word fine and your definition is a lot different." she tried to joke but I had lost all sense of humor. "Why don't you go see her? I know where she is." Bella added later as if she was trying to blackmail me.

It was oh so tempting.

"Because she told me to stay out of her life." I snapped, resting my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes.

"But she wants you there with her-"

"She loves Kaleb! How can I be with her when she wants Kaleb?!" I shouted as I looked at Bella."

"Stop making excuses. She really needs you now even though she won't tell you. You should have heard her, Jake."

"I'm not making-"

"Yes you are ! You are afraid that'll she'll reject you again!"

"No freaking duh I'm afraid that she'll reject me again! I can barely go through this! What makes you think I can go through that again!" I yelled. I walked to the window to stay calm.

"You'll never know unless you try." I heard Bella mummer as if she was remembering her own experience. "I wanted to give this to you before I left."

I heard Bella walk from behind me and hand me a white piece of paper and a map with navigation dots on it. She also handed me a key.

"What's this?" I asked but I already knew what it was. My resolve was already crumbling as I held these items in my hand as if they were my life savers. They were what my life depended on. It was my key to seeing Nessie and getting my answers. To understanding why she left. It might be best for all of us to just kill two birds with one stone.

"You're ticket to Brazil, a map so that you can figure out where Isle Esme is, and a key to Jasper's boat that's docked in Rio. Take your time at Isle Esme. Just make sure you don't take to long. We still want to see her."

"What about the Italian bloodsuckers' party?" I asked.

"Due to certain "circumstances" it was canceled." Bella laughed. It was probably because they were afraid to face us. "But you sure both of you use your fake ids. You know, just in case."

It was amazing how she knew my decision before I even did. "I haven't even decided if I'm going to go. I have the pack, and we have a council meeting…"And I was running out of excuses. That's all this was. We were all just making up excuses. I should man up and do this.

I shouldn't do this…

"Remember when Edward thought I was dead. He went to the Volturi to die too and I chased after him? How could I let him die because of a misunderstanding?"

I nodded. I remembered I begged Bella to stay here with me. I remember I almost had her. I felt betrayed that she went after him even when he said he didn't love her. I thought Bella loved me back. Now I'm glad things went the way they did. "It's different. I didn't walk away from her. Kaleb was somebody I thought I could trust. No wolf has did that bad of a betrayal."

"Maybe so; but you're not seeing my point. I went knowing that Edward might still not want me even after I told him I was alive. It was a risky move because I knew if I was rejected by him again, I wouldn't live through it. I would have probably went into something even you couldn't have brought me out of. But I went anyway because I loved him. It was a risk worth taking when it come to true love."

But what Nessie and I had was more than just true love. I would be happy with any relationship with her as long as I was able to be in her life. I'll be happy when she is.

OKAY! FINE! I GIVE UP! I GIVE IN! "What time's my flight." I breathed.

"Six a.m" she answered with a smile. She knew. Bella knew the minute she decided to come here that I was going to give in. Nessie was my weakness anybody could use against me.

I looked at the clock. I had four hours of waiting. I might use those four precious hours to decide what I should do or to chicken out.

"You think I can get an earlier flight?" I was more likely to use those four hours to talk myself out of going.

"Possibly. Maybe if you used some of your charm." Bella joked. I laughed.

"Go be with her, Jake. Nobody deserves to celebrate their birthday alone. Especially not my daughter." Bells said, squeezing my shoulder. "I'll give you time to decide; but it might be best if you put a shirt on. See ya, Jake." with that Bella disappeared.

It took only my feet two seconds before they were moving to my now larger bedroom. I grabbed a bad and started stuffing everything I would need for this trip-clothes, cash, ids (fake and real), both passports unless my stroke of good luck ran out, two drivers license if all else failed. I was like a tornado trying to get everything together. Either from excitement, adrenaline, or just pure luck. I'm going with a little bit of everything.

As I locked everything up, I debated on whether I should let the pack know or call my father and tell it that it would be a first for the chief of the reservation to miss out on a tribal meeting. What if Kaleb found out and decided to do something to stop me-if he got brave. I think they'll eventually figure out what's going on.

I hopped in the Aston, hoping that by crappy luck will pull though. I'm not going to think about the reaction of my absence with the pack, the Cullens, Kaleb. I'm not going to think about my excitement with Nessie, what I would say to her, and I wasn't going to think about her reaction. I would only think about my next step ahead of me. It I thought about all the other stuff then I knew I would chicken out.

~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~

"Are you sure you can't get me an earlier flight?" I asked the attendant who seemed too nervous to check again. I made it to Seattle Airport in no time. Just I wasn't the law abiding citizen.

"N-no sir. I'm sorry." the attendant stammered.

"Really? Are you sure you can't do anything about it? I really need to be on that early flight." I answered, leaning against the counter. It made me sick as I watched the lady survey my frame. I really regret only putting on a muscle shirt.

"Let me see what I can do…"she attempted to flirt but I didn't pay attention. I was to busy praying my horrible luck would turn.

I clenched my hands into fist, letting my anger get the best of me. She was going too slow!

"It seems we have one leaving in ten-" I didn't wait for her to finish. I grabbed my bag and took off. I was so close and I didn't want anything else in my way.

After doing all the crap to get on the plane, I was finally able to take my seat. I was shaky and jumpy. It felt like my heartbeat was pounding in my ears. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. All I want to do is be off this plane and in a boat to Isle Esme. Is that too much to ask?

Flight attendants would come by often to either get a look in or ask me if I needed anything. I would dismiss them but they kept coming back to my aggravation. Well, I was the only one who was in first class (thanks to the Cullens) who was dressed the way I was, but I didn't care.

It felt like the plane was going too slow. I can run faster than this! I mean come on! I have everything at stake here!

"Sir, is there anything I can get that might help calm you down?" another attendant asked in a tone that could easily set me off.

I thought of all the human possibilities that would help a person calm down. A pill, music, a pillow, a shot of tequila? Yeah, none of those would help me. Maybe the tequila would be helpful for just the heck of it.

"I'm fine." I said as if I was choking on something. I had to a lot just to get on this stupid plane. I don't want to get kicked off.

I guess by the look on my face told all. I could never get comfortable. I would try to relax, sleep at lease, but I couldn't. My brain was running non stop. I kept thinking about how Nessie was. I kept thinking about my dream, how Nessie reacted when she saw me, what I would say to her. It was all blurring together in a painful way. I eventually gave in and asked for that bottle that wouldn't help any. I just did it because I felt like it. Though it did relax me. For about a short while.

"You know they can kick you off for getting drunk." I heard a voice say across the isle from me. That was the beauty of running a high temperature. The heat burns the alcohol quickly of.

An old man in a navy blue suit sat across from me, reading a newspaper. I had no clue why he would want to talk to a complete stranger.

"I have a high tolerance." I answered. I noticed the man put down his paper and look at me. He was probably around my dad's age. He was bald right in the middle of his head and he looked like he could loose a few pounds. But the freaky part was that he looked like he could read my mind. It started making me uncomfortable.

I looked away as this rich, weird, creeper kept starring at me. The dude was kind of creeping me out. "Look. If I'm making you worried, I'll ask if I can move to another seat." I said.

"I'm just trying to figure out if your some rich punk partying off your inheritance on steroids and booze. Because if you are…" the creepy old guy laughed.

I looked down at my dirty shorts and car oiled stained muscle shirt. I realized that my hair came a little past my shoulders. I probably looked like a hobo off the street that somehow by some miracle made it onto first class, let alone a plane .

I bit my lip, wondering if I should tell him I'm going to see somebody I know or should I just lie to him. I knew if I said I was about to meet somebody important, there was a high chance he would get nosy and I didn't feel like opening up my crappy love life with a total stranger. I wasn't that relaxed.

"Me and my friends are going to Rio for my brother's bachelor party." I've always been a good liar…to anybody who doesn't know me. You pick up a few habits when you live with the best liars in the world for a long while.

The old man snorted. When I heard we would be landing soon, I became antsy. I only have one more plane ride. Then a boat ride. Then I'm finally to Nessie. I've found a thousand ways to approach her but I knew I would be speechless one I saw her. I couldn't think about the doubts that settled into the back of my mind.

"Ah, a bunch of rich kids enjoying his last few days as a single man. Kinda extravagant to go Rio; but it brings back old memories." the old man laughed. I knew it was nothing, but he knew nothing about my life.

"You don't know nothing about my life." I snapped, taking deep breaths. Something must have been on my face because the old man stayed quiet, going back to reading.

I figured if I pretended to sleep, I'll be left alone. But that means my thoughts would roam. Talk about tough decisions.

I must have fallen asleep because I had to rush to my connecting flight. Thankfully, I had to earliest flight I could get to Brazil. Another step closer.

All that's separating me now is a boat ride and what I was going to say to Nessie. I had no earthly idea what she was going to say to me when she saw me. I surely hoped she wasn't going to react how I think she is. Slam the door in my face, yell that she doesn't want to see me, or have me in her life-friendship or not.

I would be perfectly fine with friendship. It wouldn't bother me as much to not have a romantic relationship. I would be whatever she needs me to be. I wouldn't swamp her with why when I knew she was not going to answer them.

I knew sometime soon I would be getting closer. My heart pounded with nervous excitement. I smiled like an idiot. Only this plane ride and a boat that I have no clue how to drive separates me. Why didn't I do this sooner? Oh yeah, I was the ex-boyfriend that wanted to curl up under a rock and not give a flip on what happen.

I slept on my first plane ride so I didn't expect to fall asleep now due to my excitement, but surprisingly I did. Along with a dream that I knew wouldn't give me a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~

I walked through the city of Rio in awe. I've traveled to the Amazons with Bella, Edward, and Nessie. I've went to Italy. I've been to Spain. I've been to places that the people on the Quileute reservation would only dream of. I guess you get amazing opportunities when you brush elbows with rich vampires.

But still…Rio! I've never seen anything like this! Just why did Nessie choose Isle Esme?

I shouldered-or ran-through the crowds as quickly as possible, hopefully wanting to find a taxi to get to the boating dock. One step closer. I stepped around couples needing to get a room, partiers, and of course, women falling over me and seducing me in a language I couldn't understand.

I debated over if I should get a taxi. I could probably get to my destination a lot quicker if I ran. If you want something done, do it yourself is my knew motto.

I felt my heart beat faster so I knew I was getting closer. I bit my lip to keep from jumping around like I was crazy even though I was. I wouldn't need the map Bella gave me. Somehow I knew where Isle Esme was. Weird but I was connected to the girl. I could easily pick her out.

When I got to the boating dock my heart was beating faster in my chest. I was getting closer to Nessie!

After unsuccessfully starting the boat a few times, I finally figured out how to drive it. I pressed the gas as fast as it would go. I might actually make it to Nessie before her birthday. If she loved me or missed me, it might make it the best day of her life. My worst fear? She does a rerun of July twenty-seventh-which would literally kill me. But like Bella when she went off for Edward, I had to try. Just I wasn't going to save Nessie. I was going so she could save me.

After a few hours of going through my plan, I finally gave up and came to the conclusion of just waiting to see her reaction. I was basically going to wing it. I was excited, nervous, scared, and too tired to care. So reluctantly my mind drifted back to the dream I had on the connecting flight. Which made me have a restless sleep.

I dreamed that Nessie was pregnant and I was the father. She died slowly, carrying the thing that killed her, right before my eyes. She wasn't going to able to fight and she chose not to. Thankfully I woke up before it could go any further.

I had no clue why I dreamed that. Maybe I was crazy. Carlisle said that due to Nessie's quick growing the chances would be slim. But the closer our wedding got, we talked about it. Nessie was the one who said to hold off even if we got lucky. She said a child shouldn't be brought up into all the mess we were in. I agreed with her because that's what she wanted and she was partly right. I just didn't think that while we had that conversation, she was deciding to shove the ring in my face. And to be honest, I was the one who wanted to start a family. Now with us not together and now the dream I had, that doesn't seem to likely. Children were the last thing I wanted.

I felt my heart beat at a whole new level. I was going to be there in about twenty minutes tops! God! I'm pathetic.

I wondered if Nessie knew I was coming. Did she pack up quick enough to slip out of my fingers? Should I have not listen to Bella and gave Nessie what she wanted.

The never know unless you try phrase was my new mantra. Nessie said if I loved her I would let her go. I did. I let her leave for whatever crazy reasons she has. Just I haven't figured out who's doing the coming back. Me or her? Because I knew Renesmee Cullen was truly mine. I hope.

Before I realized it, I saw an island with practically a mansion on it. I was at the right spot. Just my biggest worry and concern was Nessie, her reaction, what I would do, and what would I say.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and dashed to the beach mansion. Pathetic but I didn't care. I was here and I could see her!

I walked through the two French glass doors. My heart hammered in my ears.. Any second I could see the girl that held my life in her hands.

I rounded the corner to the living room. Bella and Edward was right. This place was amazing.

I saw Nessie sleeping on the couch and smiled. My feet froze in place no matter how bad I wanted them to move. Her beauty was killing me. Either way she was going to kill me.

I placed my hand on the wall to steady myself. At first I thought it was my adrenaline rush crashing down onto me like a wave; but the longer I was around here, I had this sick feeling in my stomach. It was so bad it felt like I could puke. I wanted to turn around and run. I wanted to phase but I couldn't. My body wouldn't allow me, and that was the painful.

I gripped my stomach, balling a fist full of my shirt to control the tremors and sickness that went through me. I walked closer Renesmee despite wanting to go the other way. My steps were shaky. Part of me wanted to run but I forced myself to stay. Why do I feel like this?

As I got directly behind the couch she was lying on, everything got worse. But I could still see how beautiful she was. Her hair had already faded back to its natural bronze color even before she left, but still it was beautiful. Her features were the same, just more sharper. God she was gorgeous!

As much as I wanted to near her, the instinct to run was higher than ever-along with the painful, sickening feeling that was in the pit of my stomach. The tremors got worse the longer I stayed. It was just an uncomfortable feeling and I hated that part of me was wanting to get away from the girl I wanted to be so close to. But I did notice something. Everything that I was feeling was coming from her!

I tried to force my hand to move her wild ringlet curls out of her face but they stayed at my sides. It's just Nessie. She's not a monster.

Nessie whimpered and groaned, turning her body to face me and settled back into her deep sleep. The blanket she was wrapped up in fell to the floor. It was typical for her to wear shorts and a tank top but it seemed a little tight on her.

Something caught my eye as I bent down to my knees. Everything that I planned didn't prepare me for what I saw. All the things I imagined I would say faded away. My mind went blank, my tongue felt think, my mouth fell slack, my breathing became heavy. My whole body felt heavy! Everything all made sense. The dream I had on the plane, the presence I couldn't put my finger on, being confused…I couldn't think straight. But somehow all of it made sense. What caught my eye was not her flawless beauty, her height change, but that her shirt barely fit over her stomach. Below she had a rounded size as her stomach.

Nessie was pregnant.

It would have been okay if we were married, Kaleb didn't love her, and if it was normal.

But it wasn't. None of it was okay. I could clearly tell now that it was the thing inside her that made her look weak. I've lost her so many times. I don't want her to slip out of my fingers before I even had a chance.

It was now clear to me that this wasn't a normal baby. Nessie looked bigger than she should, and it was clear that the creature she was carrying was making me feel this way. The uncomfortable feeling when I was near it. I wasn't scarred. I was terrified. I can't let her die. I'll get rid of it the first it hurts her. I can't take Nessie going through what her mother went through. I couldn't handle it.

But I didn't have a right to think all this when we weren't even together. I thought if Nessie would be pregnant, I would be happy. I'm far from it. It was something unknown that could do more damage than good. It could harm her, we don't know what it is or what it would do to us. And I hated to think it, but how could I be happy and excited about something that couldn't be mine.

My whole body slacked. Bella was able to get Edward back. She was able to live. If Nessie left me again, I wouldn't be able to live through it. A man can only take so much before his plate his too full. My plate was way past being full. I know Nessie and I have been through the unthinkable. How could we take this?

Nessie moaned again and moved her head as if she was looking directly at me. I could hear her quick heartbeat match mine. Her hand went to grasp her stomach and she breathed heavy. I saw her eyes slowly flutter open and meet mine. For an instant, that's all I could look at was her beautiful, chocolate, brown eyes that always kept me grounded. I felt the thread that connect us become the steel cable that has been there since day one snap us together.

Nessie squished her eyebrows together as if she was either confused on how I was here or she was confused on who I was. Then her eyes got wide and filled up with tears. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something but only a gasp was made.

"Jacob?"