Hello to all of my wonderful readers. Thankyou so much to those of you who have reviewed or followed/favorited. It means so much to me and it really motivates and inspires me to keep writing for you guys. :) So, thankyou!

Also, a heads up that there is explicit sexual content in this chapter.

"Remember all the things we wanted?

Now all our memories,

They're haunted.

We were always meant to say goodbye."

-Kelly Clarkson

I've been lying in bed, unable to sleep for the last two hours.

The past two weeks have been emotional and disorienting. The first few days were the worst, waiting to hear news about Sokka and Aang and Toph. I cried a lot, though I wasn't sure why. It just seemed like the best way to deal with all of the emotions I was feeling, rather than screaming or hitting people in the face. I slept a lot, too. And I would wake up thinking about Azula and how Zuko and I witnessed her complete mental break down after I healed his lightning wound enough for him to stand. She just kept shrieking and spitting out blue fire and crying. I couldn't decide between feeling pride or pity.

I was given a room in the east hall of the palace. It's the typical red walls and plushy pillows type of room. Red really is not a calming color. It's not comforting to worry about the lives of your loved ones when you're surrounded by so much red. Unless I was sleeping, I did my best to stay out of my room. Which didn't prove too difficult. The palace has so many places to explore. I found a garden that I became rather fond of.

Things became substantially easier once Appa arrived with Sokka, Aang, and Toph. There was a lot of hugging. And I was just so relieved to see all of them. Turns out that Aang's "disappearance" was really just a little vacation on the back of a lion turtle. That's where Aang picked up on energybending, which is what he used to defeat Ozai. I'd never heard of such a thing before, but apparently Aang took away the Fire Lord's ability to firebend. I was glad that Aang found a way to end the war without ending the Fire Lord's life. He didn't have to sacrifice his morals. And Zuko didn't have to lose another parent.

Sokka and Toph had a lot of success with stopping the air fleet that attacked the Earth Kingdom. They met up with a group of girl warriors from Kyoshi Island on their way there and enlisted the warriors' help. The fleet only made it as far as Wulong Forest before Aang was there to meet the Fire Lord. There was minimal fire damage done to the Earth Kingdom. One of the Kyoshi warriors, Suki, had the idea to infiltrate one of the air ships and crash it into the others before the firebenders could cause any severe damage. I swear that while she was telling the story that I saw Sokka smiling at her.

Iroh is back at the palace now, too, after successfully reconquering Ba Sing Se and ending the Fire Nation rule there. I guess he was right about our destinies and fate after all.

Zuko was sworn in as Fire Lord. It was a small ceremony, but he's having a public coronation in a few months, after the world has some time to heal. There's some talk of rebel forces that need to be dealt with. I guess Azula was a really persuasive leader.

I saw Zuko the night he was crowned Fire Lord. It was late and I was sitting out in the garden that I like so much. Zuko's hair was pulled back in a knot with the gold crown placed atop his head. He looked different. He looked good.

He sat next to me by the small pond and told me that his sister had been placed in a mental institution and that his father was now in prison. It was silent for a few long moments after that. It seemed odd that, after everything we'd been through, separately and together, it was all finally over. The war had ended. There was peace to look forward to. I guess it hadn't fully sunk in yet.

Zuko turned to me and took my hand.

"What happens now?" He asked. I had this strange sense of déjà vu.

I stared at our fingers, contemplating the answer for a long time. I knew what he was really asking. He asked the same thing a long time ago when we were in the woods outside of Ba Sing Se. Only now, the circumstances and the consequences are completely different. So I finally said, "Well… you have a nation to run. And I have a home to get back to."

The look on his face was undecipherable. Somehow I knew that wasn't really the answer he was looking for. But he nodded anyway. "I guess you're right. Goodnight, Katara."

Then he stood up and left.

That was a week and a half ago. I haven't seen him since.

And in the morning I leave with Sokka to go back to the South Pole.

Technically, I have seen Zuko. Sometimes when he's about to go into a meeting or just around the palace. There's always someone with him. Usually more than one someone. And lately, there's always a girl with him. She's tall and thin with long black hair. I remember being introduced to her when she arrived at the palace with the others. I was too busy with Sokka and Aang and Toph to care much, but I guess her father was the warden of some big Fire Nation prison. Her name is Mai.

Before Toph left yesterday, she kindly let me know during dinner that the word around the palace is that Mai is going to be the next Fire Lady. I threw an ash banana at her head in response, which she easily deflected. Then I told her that I couldn't care less and she just laughed.

I don't know. It's none of my business who Zuko is with. If he wants to date a knife wielding girl who never smiles, then that's his problem. Or choice, I mean. I've known since I first found out who Zuko was that things could never work between us. There were rules. It's just a game. That's not why I'm frustrated. And believe me, I'm frustrated.

I can't stand all of these meetings and peace projects and papers and ceremonies. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do and I just don't know. I just want time to think. Sokka is planning on working with his men and Chief Arnook, deciding how they'll help each of the Water Tribes rebuild. Toph is already on her way back to Omashu with Bumi, where she plans to help him open a metalbending school. Aang has an unlimited amount of peace meetings and reparation projects scheduled throughout the world. And Zuko is busy trying to govern an entire nation. So where does that leave me? I thought things would be simple after the war ended, but so far they aren't.

Maybe Mai does frustrate me a little. I mean, he didn't have to bounce back that fast, did he? He jumped in front of a freaking lightning bolt for me. And then I saved his life. Again. Really, after all of that and he's with this frowning little socialite and I'm just going back home to my seal skin blanket. I keep asking myself why I even care about the situation at all. I never have a good answer. Or an answer that I'm willing to admit to myself.

He hasn't even said goodbye to me!

Furious, I throw my red comforter off of my body and hop out of bed. I stumble around the room until I find my tunic and then I duck out into the hallway. I don't bother putting on shoes.

I stomp through the palace halls toward the north wing where I know Zuko's bedroom is. I don't know what I'm doing, but if I don't see Zuko and possibly scream at and or hit him I might burst into tiny little ice shards.

"Good evening Master Katara." A palace guard at the entrance of the long hallway greets me.

"Where's Zuko?" I demand.

The man blinks at me. "Fire Lord Zuko is in his office. He's asked not to be disturbed."

"Where's the office?" I ask sternly.

"It's… the second door on the right. Master Katara, I really don't think you should-"

I brush past him, making my way toward the double wide oak doors the guard spoke of. He calls after me and I shout back, "Oh don't worry, he'll see me!"

I don't hesitate when I reach the doorway. I practically throw the doors open and they collide against the wall with a loud bang. I make a point of shutting them equally as loudly behind me.

The walls of the room are lined with books and maps. There are a few chairs on the opposite side of the large wooden desk Zuko is sitting at. He's staring up at me in confusion and shock amidst a pile of papers.

After realizing that it's only me and not some kind of national emergency, Zuko's expression softens. "Oh, hello Katara. I thought that was you yelling in the hall. Is everything alright?"

"Were you just going to let me leave without saying goodbye?" I demand, ignoring his greeting as I step further into the room.

Zuko sets his ink brush down. "No, I was going to escort you and Sokka to the docks."

"You know damn well that isn't what I meant." I don't mean to sound so angry. It's just that being so upset and confused and worried the past week has put me on edge.

"Katara…" Zuko's face softens into a look that I take as one of pity. "I'm sorry. I can't explain how busy I've been since I saw you last."

Standard excuse. Everyone is busy. Everyone has plans.

I can taste the bitterness in my mouth. I don't know why I'm so frustrated and that frustrates me even more. And Zuko always seems to be the root of my frustrations, for whatever reason. I just want to make him as angry as I feel. I don't know why. And I know that I'm acting like a selfish brat, but I can't help myself.

"Is Mai your girlfriend?" I demand. I can't believe how childish I sound.

And apparently Zuko can't either because his jaw drops open. "What? Katara, you're the one who said that we-"

I see the pile of papers on his desk and before I realize, I place both hands over top of it and shove its entirety onto the floor. The bottle of ink, the maps, the picture of Iroh- it all goes toppling onto the floor.

Zuko is stunned silent for a moment. And when he finally stands, he's angrier than ever. "What are you doing!?" I don't really know. "Are you crazy!?" Yes, I think I am.

"I hate this palace!" I shout back. Zuko steps around the side of his desk, glaring at me. "I hate all the paperwork. I hate the fucking rules. I hate you!"

Zuko's fingers wrap forcefully around my wrist and he yanks me into him, pinning me against his chest. He crushes his lips into mine and locks his arms securely around my waist. I claw at him, trying feebly to struggle out of his grip, but it's no use. He's not going to let go and I really don't want him to.

His kisses are hungry and possessive and I don't think I could ever have enough of them. I want us to slow down. I want to take my time and memorize everything I can about Zuko and the way he moves and the way his skin looks and the faces he makes. But we just don't have enough time. And I think we're both willing to take whatever we can get.

I dig my nails into the skin at the back of Zuko's neck and he hisses from the pain. He takes a bite at my collar bone in response. He pulls me up into his arms and I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling his body closer to mine. Zuko leans forward, pushing my back none too gently into the wall behind me. His lips meet mine again and his tongue presses into my mouth. It's all I can do to try and breathe properly.

Zuko gathers the fabric of my tunic and pushes it up to my waist, holding it there. His fingers wrap around the outer edges of my thighs. He starts to grind his hips into mine and the friction is tantalizing. "Zuko." I whine. The desperation in my voice shocks me.

He makes a growling noise and peels me off of the wall. With my legs still wrapped around his narrow hips, his lips press into my throat as he carries me across the room. He leaves a trail of kisses from my jaw to my left shoulder before setting me down on his desk. Without pause, he tugs my tunic up over my head and I lift my arms to aid him. He then steps forward between my knees and leans over me, kissing me fiercely on the lips and forcing me onto my back. His palms come to rest on either side of my shoulders. I guess it's a good thing that I decided to rid the desk of its contents.

Zuko pulls back to untie the sash binding his robes together. I prop myself up on my elbows so that I can watch as the pale skin and muscles of his chest and stomach come into view. The first thing I notice is the zigzagging scar that Azula's lightning left on his stomach. The result of him saving my life again. And not only that, but risking his to do so.

With his robes on the ground, Zuko starts to lean forward again, but I stop him by placing my palm over the scar. I run my fingers reverently over it, silently thanking him. I can feel Zuko's eyes on me, watching with rapt attention. I try to convey with the touch how much I wish things could be different for us.

After a long moment, I sit up and let my hands wander lower to untie the string of Zuko's pants. He runs his hands up and down my sides as I push his pants and briefs past his hips. Zuko guides me back until I'm propped on my elbows again. He tugs my chest wraps free and tosses the fabric onto the floor behind him before cupping my breasts in his warm hands. I moan. Zuko kisses his way down my chest until his lips reach my left nipple. He flicks his tongue over the flesh, making me writhe under him.

I'm not aware of his wandering hand until I feel it between my thighs. He rubs me through the fabric of my Sarashi wraps. My elbows slip from under me and I fall back against the desk with a soft thump. Zuko catches his bottom lip between his teeth as he tugs my wraps down to my ankles.

"You don't know what you do to me, Katara." He says with a groan. But I think I do know. Because he does the same thing to me.

"I want you." I tell him, trying to keep my voice as stern as possible.

Zuko's eyes darken and he grabs me roughly by the hips and pulls me closer to the edge of the desk. He leans forward, his hands on either side of my head. My legs wrap around his waist again. Zuko kisses me hard on the lips as he drives himself inside of me. The force of it makes me cry out. Zuko shudders.

I lock my ankles over his back as he starts to move against me.

It doesn't get any more taboo than this. I'm a waterbending "peasant", as Azula kindly stated, and the Fire Lord, who may or may not be in a relationship with Mai, is fucking me on his desk. There's probably a law against this. Several, even.

Zuko doesn't seem to care. He just moves harder and faster against me, until his thrusts have become shocks of passion and lust. I can't help the moans that keep spilling out of my mouth. Zuko's skin is so hot beneath my palms. I can feel the heat radiating off of his body and it almost seems like I'm going to melt under him.

Zuko reaches between our bodies to rub his thumb over me and it doesn't take long until I'm whimpering and panting and flames of pleasure are licking my inner thighs and tearing through every nerve in my body. "Oh, oh, Zuko!"

His left hand closes on my outer thigh with bruising force as he comes apart. He groans my name in my ear and I'm sure the sound of it is something that will be seared into my memory forever.

I imagine this moment is when you're supposed to feel incredibly close to the person you're sharing it with. You're supposed to cuddle and say nice things and just be happy. But I can already feel Zuko slipping away and out of my reach. Now we go back to the way things are supposed to be. With an ocean between us. So I guess this is it, then.

Game over.

I hope you guys know by now that Katara is not the most reliable of narrators. ;) Of course it's not over, Katara!