Forever Ours

by RoseGold25

More struggles are up ahead for Jacob and Nessie. And the struggles are enough for the two to throw in the towel and call it quits. Can they save what has been broken? By the looks of it, forever does seems hard to reach. Like always there is many many things that try to tear them apart. Can Nessie and Jacob save what has been destroyed and handle the danger that comes their way?

13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Nessie's point of view

I woke up with a start, raising up quick and breathing heavy. Jacob said I had till midnight to figure out if I wanted him or not. I wanted to kick myself for falling asleep. I now only have thirty minutes to find Jacob and beg him to stay. I would beg for his forgiveness. I would get down on my knees and beg him to let me back into his life. If he says no and leaves, it would be hard but I would have to live with it. I don't know how I would; but I don't deserve a wonderful, amazing, kind, sweet, funny, good hearted, beautiful, special person like Jacob. I only deserve his hated towards me. I deserve and understand him wanting to through in the towel. I deserved Jacob doubting he was the father when I knew he was. I deserved every horrible thing that comes my way. I was a selfish, pathetic, spoiled coward that needed to grow up.

When I woke up, I heard a wolf howl in agony. It was my Jacob. My heart twisted painfully in my chest. Jake was heartbroken and it was my fault. For so long while I wasn't listening to my heart, Jacob was falling apart. He reminded me of Humpty Dumpty. He was fine until he fell.

All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty back together again. I had too. I wanted to put my Jacob back together. I wanted to make him feel special. He deserved it. The man may drive me crazy, but that's what I wanted. The comfortable, boring, predictable, normal life wasn't me. Kaleb thought he could give me that life, but now I've came to the realization that the type of relationship I thought I wanted was wrong. That just wasn't me. Jacob was my home. If only he would have me.

Just one thing I knew, my Jacob was not going another moment thinking I didn't want him.

There was another thing I was falling in love with. The little mysterious creature that was growing inside me. Others can wonder who the father was for all I cared. Jacob was the father of this little, strange creature I carried. The creature will come out just like him. Girl or boy it will be a striking resemblance. This was my child! I wanted to be a mommy. This was my miracle baby. Nobody was taking this child away from me.

I decided that moment that Jacob really needs to know. He needs to know the answers on why I left, why I went to Kaleb even though I loved him, and why I wanted him to be back. He shouldn't be the one begging. I should. He was my home. We kept each other grounded. He was my life line to know I can do this whole pregnancy deal. I needed him. I wanted him.

I wanted to do something special. It was almost midnight. My birthday sucked with Jaocb thinking I was going to kill myself. Then he kissed me. He was angry and him holding me tight hurt bad, but it was so amazing. If he didn't hurt me, I wouldn't have begged him to stop. The kiss was so amazing. I could jump around singing if the motion didn't get me sick.

I debated on what I should wear. My Jacob wouldn't care what he saw me in. Plus it may be the last time I can wear something nice without out flashing the neon sign saying "BABY BUMP!"

I can dress nice for Jacob. I would beg for him to forgive me like my life depended on it. I would be finally coming home. What mean, horrible things coming my way I deserved, but with Jacob I could go through anything. If he wanted me that is. I eventually have to grow up. I wanted to be there for my child. I couldn't run anymore. I didn't want too. I was done with being a coward.

I decided on a sundress to wear. It didn't cover up the bruises on my arms but that was okay. I wasn't upset about them when the kiss was so amazing. I hoped he felt the same way. I would understand if he didn't. He was probably tired of fighting me and me pushing him away. I deserve it. All of it.

The top half of my dress was baby pink that faded down into a light violet. I had a brown belt that I fastened lightly around my waist and hung off of my small poked out stomach. The dress was a little snug and you could clearly see that I was pregnant. I was a little disappointed since I bought it only a few days before I realized everybody was right and I was pregnant. I knew sacrifices will be made. Clothes were going to be one of them.

I looked at my hair. It was too long and I had a few short minutes. I would have to worry about it some other time. Maybe I should cut it shorter than I normally would. Oh well, right now Jacob needed me.

I would have to find him right before he leaves. He has every right to be mad, to doubt, to leave. I should let him go so he could find somebody that would love him. He needed to get rid of the destruction. I was just too selfish to let him go. I'll get on my knees and beg if I have too.

I dropped everything when I smelt a certain scent. It wasn't Jacob's. His intentions weren't Jacob's. This was something I've been stupid enough to ignore.

Marcello. He finally came to finish the job so many have tried to do. To kill me. I wasn't going to be able to fight. Not in my condition. Not without him or me doing something to hinder my child. I don't have enough strength to fight a well skilled fighter like him. He's too strong; and either Jacob's far away to get to me or he doesn't care.

I could hear him walk around the house. He was planning my death. Whether I should die slow or quick. He knew about my baby. He was defiantly going to kill it. He was going to mask his scent but it was weakening him. His head hurt. It felt like he wanted to tear his insides out. Only for right now I was thankful my baby had a gift.

I stayed frozen in my bedroom. Amazing how I was conceived right here in this room and me and my child were going to die. Jacob would die right next to me.

Enough, Renesmee! You're a fighter! You have plenty to fight for!

Yeah, but fighting Marcello is like Henry fighting Jacob. The odds are never for the weaker one.

But I was fast and smart. I had mind reading and projection. I could out smart him in his own game.

"Hello, Renesmee." Marcello said as he stood right before me. He appeased my looked and thought this would be an easy win.

"Marcello." I showed him, holding my chin in a determined positioned.

"You extremely lovely." he told me. "Too lovely to die."

I swallowed hard and started to doubt myself even more. I can't do that. I had an unborn child to protect. I had to get to Jacob. Now.

"It sucks to be me, I guess." I shrugged, rocking back and forth on heals.

"It is a shame the mutt doesn't care enough about his child or it's mother. Only just enough to save them."

"He does." I growled. I honestly had no clue if he cared about us. Maybe I screwed everything up beyond belief.

"But I think instead of killing you, I could pay a visit to the Volturi. Tell them about the little dangerous creature you and the werewolf have created. I'm sure they would to do my job of killing you, him, your creation, along with everybody else you love." Marcello whispered in my ear as he appeared before.

I believed he would go to Italy if he got the chance. I wouldn't put my family, my Jacob, or my baby at risk. "NO!" I shouted. I projected an image to him and took off. I shouldn't be doing this but what other choice did I have? If I die then the centers of my world would go along with me.

My phone suddenly rang was what distracted me. I lost the image and Marcello tried to get to me again. I tripped and fell on the bamboo flooring but still tried to scurry away. He lunged but I moved quickly. All he did was scratch my right shoulder. I felt the blood travel down my back, making my stomach want to heave. No, no, no, no! Please not now. Please not me. Please not it let be blood.

Instead of doing anything useful, I screamed in panic.

I projected another image as I threw up. Perfect timing! Marcello grabbed me by the back of the hair and pulled me face up. I tried to calm my breathing to make it look like I wasn't scared but failed. He put on hand on my forehead and another on the bottom of my chin as if he was going to snap my neck-which he was. In panic I yanked my head out of his hold and bit down on his leg.

"You little wench!" he howled in pain as I tried to get away. Marcello grabbed me and threw me across the room. I flew through glass and landed outside. I hit the sand with a thud and groaned. I had to think of something to get Jacob here!

I started projecting to Jacob. I had no clue if I could project that far, wherever he was at, or if he didn't care. I knew I had to try. That was my only option. Marcello was extremely strong. I was weak. I haven't had blood in forever. I couldn't fight him pregnant without the risk of loosing my child. Jacob would be focused on me if I haven't died yet. If he saw me dead he would want to die too.

A thought settled in my head and it made my heart stop. We were not going to win.

I got on my hands and knees and attempted to get up. I was dizzy and sick, I could a feel a black out come right at me like you would feel frost at winter. I had to try and fight to at least survive till Jacob gets here.

Marcello kicked my side and I landed on my back. I cried out in pain and my hands went to my stomach. Marcello got on top of me and put his hands on my stomach. " Why don't I take care of getting rid of it for you." he smirked.

Marcello pressed down on my stomach. He was about to make me loose it! He was going to kill my child then me!

I reached my head up and bit into hard, granite skin again and tore a chunk out. He howled in pain even worse and growled. He backhand me so hard that I was actually about to black out.

I felt sick again but couldn't move my head. He hit me so hard that I just gave up. Jacob was no where to save me. I was screwed.

"Where's your mutt now, huh? He ran off. Probably didn't want to be dragged down by a weak, pregnant woman. Luckily you'll die before he can get you" Marcello's evil smile said before me.

I forgot what to do, only looking at him with panic. My head went black. All Marcello did was kiss me on the cheek. I shivered. The smell of blood was getting to him but he was going to let me die slowly. I would get the honor of watching Jacob die.

Jake didn't care about me. He left. This was my payback.

And with that being said, I let the tears fall.

Just then I heard not one but many thoughts coming my way. Some giving pointers, but only one thought was going after one thing.

His prey.

I spoken too soon about Jacob. Why do I ever doubt him?

I moved so Jacob didn't get me when he tackled Marcello. I wanted to do something but only sat still in panic. Jake was focusing more on me and not on fighting.

I heard the guys point out what to do or told him to stop focusing on me. I prayed I wouldn't throw up now because Jacob had most of his attention towards me. He was more worried about me than the fight. The last time he did that I had to suck the venom out of body just so Grandpa could get his heart to start working again. Throwing up wasn't help his situation.

Marcello did something to Jacob and he fell to the ground and let out a whine. I shot up quickly, thinking he was bit.

I was about to run to him when Jacob's eyes met mine. He shook his big head no, meaning for me to not come any closer. What he wanted was for me and him to run.

"Focus!" Paul shouted and Jake snapped back to attention.

"Ness! We know you can't fight right now but at least use your gifts and help him!" Jared thought to me.

I did! I was sitting here useless while Jacob needed me. God! I'm such an idiot!

I started projecting to Marcello anything random just to stop him and projected to Jake what the vampire was thinking. This was something I rarely used because it was draining. I was doing two different things, two different projections, never really practiced, and was weak. Marcello saw was engulfed in my projections and all Jake saw was brief thoughts.

Marcello was distracted enough for Jacob to get the upper hand. He was ruthless. He reminded me of the Children of the Moon even though he was the complete opposite. I was afraid again.

Jacob tore the vampire to pieces. He was still growling so I stopped. I looked only at the corpse of the vampire that's been after me for a year. He's tried me to kill me on several occasions and almost won most of them. He tried to kill Jacob. He tried to kill our baby. It was over.

For now anyway.

My Jake looked at me, still doing the deathly growl that scared me. I could see in his thoughts that he let his instinct take over and was threatened by my vampire smell.

"Dude, it's Nessie." Quil said.

Jacob looked over at me with painful eyes and limped over to where I was. I noticed he dragging his back left leg. I hoped that was all that was wrong with him.

"Go get some matches. I think I saw some on the mantle near the candles." Jake ordered, his voice emotionless. I nodded to find them with jitter and shakes.

I grabbed the matches with the shaky hands along with a pair of shorts for Jake, and brought them outside. Jake carried the driftwood in his mouth, dropping it over Marcello's destroyed body.

"Talk about pregnant." Kyle commented. I blushed but their thoughts kept coming.

I tired to light the match but my hands were to shaky. It took me several tries to get it right and even then I couldn't do it. I saw russet hands cover mine and hold them tight. I felt a warm, strong body press against me-or leaned is more like it. He moved our hands that held the match and ran it against the box. The match lit into an orange flame. The russet hand moved over the destroyed corpse but it still held the flame. His fingers went into mine and pried my fingers open. The match dropped and the corpse was engulfed. All I could see was purple smoke.

I turned my head to see Jacob's face was close to my cheek. I could have easily kissed him but I was to shaky and nervous to say anything. I was breathing hard as I tried to hold back tears. Jacob didn't say anything. He was probably in the same shape I was in and was controlling it a lot better that I was.

I wanted to say something but all I said was, "I-I brought you some clothes." I stammered. I was tired, weak, sick, and pregnant. I wanted to lie down and sleep but I had more important things to do.

"Thanks." Jake grunted and limped over to the side of the house. I was hurt that he didn't need me. I was disappointed that he was away from me. I should have helped him, but all I did was gawk at how handsome he was.

I wanted so bad to be near him.

"Are you okay?" he asked finally. Tears pooled my eyes. He could have been bit and I'm here doing nothing. "Renesmee?"

I didn't say anything. I just ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I could feel him wobble but he held both our weight with just one leg.

"Ness. Ness! You're bleeding!" he said. I nodded, breathing in his scent which helped some.

"I know." I mumbled into his neck. There was so many things I needed to say but this one thing needed to be said first. "And you need to know that I am madly in love with." I stated as I looked at him directly in the eye.

Jacob was confused and uncomfortable, thus not helping with the pain in his leg. So I said it again. "I love you, you stupid mongrel. Please, don't leave me."

Jacob slightly smiled. "I know you love me but-"

"No. I'm in love with you! I want you back! I don't deserve you, and I know if you stick around with me I will hurt you! I'm so tired of fighting! I don't want to fight anymore! Just please don' t leave me! I love you, Jacob." I begged. I wanted to say more but I couldn't. Jake was hurting and I was getting sick. But at least he couldn't go anywhere.

Jacob only smiled and put his hand on my cheek. I looked down to see his left leg at an odd angle and it was dangling. "Your leg!" I shouted about to inspect how bad it was but he stopped me.

"I want to hear what you said again; but I think both of need to be taken care of." Jacob said with his hand pressed against the shoulder that was bleeding. The queasy feeling was coming back and I moved closer to Jacob. Right now his scent wasn't even helping.

As we both walked back inside the beach mansion, I debated on how long it would take for Jacob's to leg to heal. The venom slowed it down but I didn't know how long it would take just for it to kick in. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. I didn't stick around for pretty much anything. I'm paying for it now.

We sat down on the couch. Jacob gripped my hand tight. He didn't believe me when I told him that I wanted him back. I wanted his child and I wanted him.

Jacob's leg was only dislocated, which I took care of easily. He said it would it would take several minutes just for the healing to start. So that meant it would probably take a few hours just for a simple injury to heal. I deserved much more than just a few bleeding scratches. Jacob was about to give up his life for me and our baby to survive.

I stared at the broken glass, my mind everywhere but on planet earth. I never understood why I wanted to come to Isle Esme. Momma always said it was amazing. Paradise. It's amazing now how one single moment can make everything dark and gray.

I was nervous. I had everything I wanted to say. I deserved him walking away from me. I didn't deserve somebody who was so amazing and perfect. Jacob needed someone who could love him whole heartedly and won't cause him the pain and heartbreak I have. But I knew I needed to try though. My life won't be the same without him. It wasn't while I was gone. He was my safety blanket that would always catch me if I fall.

"Now can you tell me why you are dressed like that?" Jacob asked, bringing me back to reality. "Who are you trying to impress?"

I bit my lip and looked at my Jacob. He knows I love him. He knows that I want him back. I might as well just open all of it up. "I was trying to impress you." I whispered.

He laughed. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to tell you how much I want you to stay with me. You said if I loved you I would be able to tell you why I left. Why I didn't trust you when I thought I had feelings for Kaleb. I left because I am a coward. I run when things get hard, and when things started to get hard I took off. At first I thought I ran because I didn't want a fight to happen between you and Kaleb. I was wrong. I didn't ruin just one life but several. I made things worse by running and I'm not going to do that any more. I am a selfish, spoiled, pathetic, stupid idiot who thought only of myself. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I put you through.

"I thought that if I left both of you then I would have to choose neither of you and everything would be okay. But it wasn't okay. Because by hiding secrets from you, by not trusting you, by going to Kaleb, and by leaving you, I chose Kaleb."

Jake nodded, looking down. He feared what I was going to say next.

"I understand-" Jacob started to say. He turned his head not to look at me. Jake figured I would tell him the complete opposite of what I was going to say. He thought I was going to reject him again.

I moved closer to him and put my hand on his face. He tried to hide his emotions but I could clearly see it on his face. "And you deserve somebody that won't cause you heartbreak. You need someone who can love you and make promises to you and can keep them. I know that without me you can find that. There's a girl out there that can tell you how special and amazing you are. Jacob, you should find somebody that makes you happy to be alive. You shouldn't be wondering if things would be better if death took you away. You need a girl that knows what she wants. You need a girl that wants you." I told him.

"So you dressed up just to tell me…" Jake started but couldn't finish.

"That choosing Kaleb was one of the biggest mistakes in my life. My main regret was hurting you. I regret it but I can't take it back and change it now-no matter how much I want too. I can only move forward. I don't deserve somebody so amazing as you. I'm selfish, I'm immature, I'm mean, I push you away but you still stand by my side. You should not be the one begging me to let you back in my life. I should be doing the begging and I am."

I got off the couch, taking his hands in mine. "Please, please, please, Jacob Black, let me back in your life. You can yell at me if you want. I deserve it. I deserve everything. I want your forgiveness. I want your love. Kaleb could never give me the life or love I want. I want crazy, insane, unpredictable, arguing over what color to paint the nursery type of love. I know you can give me the love I want-the love I need. I don't deserve your love but I want it so bad. I promise I will love you till the ends of the earth. I am in love with you! I didn't realize that I lost the moon while I was paying attention to the stars."

I took a deep breath. "I want you, Jacob. I want you're baby. If you will have us of course."

There was one time I had a dream Jacob saw me kissing Kaleb. He was done and he told me to have a nice life. He left no matter how much I begged him to stay. The Volturi killed me and Jacob watched me die. He believed I didn't love him and he couldn't prove that he loved me. Marcello thought that we would die thinking we didn't love each other. Romeo and Juliet's love never died even after they actually died. Our love won't die. I'll make sure of it. I won't give up if Jacob won't.

I would understand if Jacob told me no. It would kill me but I would have to move on. I had to think about of another's life. My baby's.

"I'm sorry I did all those horrible things to you. That I'm pulling you around in circles. I feel horrible for it all. You have to believe me, Jacob, that leaving is the stupidest thing in my life. I'm not going to make any more promises that I can't keep; but you have my heart, Jake. I can at least promise you that." I showed him, no longer able to speak.

Jacob grabbed me and picked me up off of my knees. He sat me in his lap and wiped the tears away. There was so many things I wanted to say so I showed him all of it. It was like a flood was being released. I prayed my all day sickness would hold off onto after everything was settled. I loved Jacob. I was in love with him. I wanted him to be the father to my child. I wanted him and Billy to teach it about the Quileute stories and how strong and powerful he or she will be of. I wanted it to look at Jacob and I and see that true love never really actually dies.

"Say something!" I bawled. I was starting to get the fear of Jacob telling me the opposite of what I was wanting to say.

"Give me a minute. You keep talking and I never have a chance to talk." Jacob joked but then got serious. "When you love someone, set them free. They'll come back if they were truly yours."

I froze. Jacob was telling me good-bye. He saw that he needed somebody that can love him way better than I ever could. Deep breath. It'll be okay…Oh! What am I kidding? Once Jacob leaves I'll break down for a few hours then I'll move on with my life. Or that's what I hope I can do.

I got up and went to get a broom and dust pan to go clean up the glass, holding back tears. It's not the end of the world. You knew this would happen. Two and a half months can change a person's mind.

"Ness?" Jake asked." I heard him get up. He was probably feeling guilty about hurting a pregnant chick's feelings.

"I understand." I showed him, dropping the broom and dust pan to the ground and leaned against the wall. Jacob was still standing a little inside the house so he couldn't see my face. I didn't want him too.

I wrapped an arm around my stomach and closed my eyes. I'll be okay. I'll be okay. Several women have babies alone. I have my family-if I haven't screwed up enough with them. I can at least explain to them how special this little one.

"Understand what?" he asked, walking/limping outside.

"That…"

"You drive me insane sometimes? That you're too stubborn to say that you need my help? That it took you so long for you to say all this because you loved another man?" Jacob asked, pulling me closer to him. I wanted to say that he should let his leg heal but I didn't. He would listen to me no matter what I say.

"Do you understand that there's this girl that I'm in love with?" He's found another! He's found another! "She's drop dead gorgeous, stubborn, prideful, she has a heart but won't even listen to it. She's a amazing, determined, short-tempered, feisty woman." he continued, whispering in my ear.

"Sounds like she's a mixture between a supermodel and Wonder Woman." I joked as my heartbeat got quicker by him being so close.

"The girl I love is even better. I'm invincible but this girl can break my heart as if she dropped glass on a hardwood floor. I know I should stay away from this girl, but I just can't. We can easily hurt each other. You know, this girl also just begged for my forgiveness. She now knows that cheating on me with somebody I trusted is something I can't easily forget or forgive. She's willing to pay the consequences. She knows I'm going to be cautious. She knows that I'll do anything to protect her." Wait. He's talking about me! "Did I mention that this girl is pregnant with a child that may or may not be mine, or that could quite possibly be a monster that could destroy us all."

Jacob kissed the spot above my ear but I stayed still. I wanted so bad to kiss him back but I only focused on his last comment. No, not the one where he's doubting that the baby I'm carrying is his. I deserve that doubt. What was stopping me was when he said that this baby could be a monster that destroyed us all.

I didn't realize I hissed at him until Jacob took a cautious step back. "Its not a monster." I spat. "Doubt all you want about it being yours, but don't you dare call my baby a monster. It's mine and I want it. It's too early to tell what it even is"

"I've got the tribe to think about, Nessie. You've got the Volturi. You know what would happen if they found out. If it is dangerous it could destroy your family, mine, and everything, we'll be working for. Nessie, it could destroy you and that would destroy me! If I loose you again I…" Jacob trailed as he looked at me with sincere eyes. He's made so many sacrifices to be with me. I could at least do that same for him. That also means killing something that we created.

"I know. You're giving me another chance, right?" I asked and Jake nodded. "Then give this baby a chance. You didn't know what I was but look at us now. We'll take it day by day. I'm not going to force you into something you don't want to do, Jake. Just please…I want this baby and I want you by my side." I begged, grazing my thumb across his russet cheek. I could see the uncomfortable look on his face but he still stayed. I guess I got my answer.

Jacob kissed me the first time and wanted to kiss me again, but he was afraid to touch me. He cause bruises that he felt guilty about. I wasn't sorry about it. I'll take the pain any day. He shouldn't be brooding over it, either. The kiss was amazing. Even though he growled at me when I tried to move, it was still the best kiss ever.

So instead of waiting on his, I made the move. I reached up and kissed him hard. I pulled Jacob as close to me as I could get. He didn't kiss back as much as I thought he would. In fact, he wasn't even kissing me.

I opened my eyes to see he had his eyes open. I wanted to be angry at him, to be hurt or at least disappointed, but I couldn't be. He was cautious and I made him that way. I hung myself and I was willing to pay the consequences.

Jacob led me to one of the outside chairs and sat down in it, propping his feet up. He pulled me into his lap and leaned back. We fit comfortable. Like we were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together.

"How come your able to be so close to me? Aren't you uncomfortable?" I asked.

"I'm going to have to learn to get use to if, don't I. I mean, I won't be much of a help if I'm writhing in pain and agony. Be kinda stupid to not ignore it if I'm going to stick around, huh?"

Get use to it? He's staying? "You'll have me back?! You'll-you'll have me and the baby?!" I showed Jacob my excitement which only made him laugh. I was practically jumping up and down which he stopped. I didn't hide my confusion so he pointed to his leg. I was glad he stopped me because the movement was sickening.

Jacob laughed. "You being pregnant has made you so dingy."

I bit my lip, knowing he was right. I was a lot more forgetful than I was before. "Oh." was all I said. I then sat up straighter and looked at Jacob. "Now when I kiss you, you better kiss me back." I demanded, crashing my lips onto his.

Like I ordered, he kissed me back. And God was it amazing. This one beats the one before. Jacob held me gentler than last time but I didn't. I kissed him like a person was wondering out in the desert and found wonder. He's only able to get all the water he needs in just a few short minutes because he needs to travel on.

Or…if you're half vampire you can say that I kissed him like a vampire would suck a human dry because they haven't hunted in months and were weak.

And that's how I kissed him.

"Easy…" Jacob said, pushing me back. He had a smile on his face and was probably thinking the same thing I was.

Wow…

I felt like I was on a buzz. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want this blissful night to end. I wanted forever to be this very exact moment of Jacob kissing me on my birthday.

"It's my birthday. I can do whatever I want." I said with a smirk.

"You do that anyway." Jacob said with a smile but later it faltered when he saw my face.

"Hold that thought." I showed Jacob. Since I was outside I ran somewhere where everything could come up. I've ruined this island and the house sp why not pollute the beach too?

As I was throwing up, I noticed Jacob was right there rubbing my back. I knew he was going to be there every step of the way.

After I was finished, I just sat there. I looked at the purple smoke, the damage done to the house. I was tired but couldn't sleep. Jacob needed it more than I did.

"You've got to stay in one place or my leg is never going to heal." Jacob said in a joking tone but I could tell he was in pain.

"Do you want to go lay down?" I asked. He shook his head no but I pulled him up anyway and we walked back into the living room. Jacob needed rest and I had a mess to clean up. Thank God this one was easier.

As I started to clean Jacob got up. "Let me help." he said.

I pushed him back down into the couch. "Stay put." I ordered.

As I was sweeping up the last bit of broken glass I caught Jacob looking at me with a huge grin on his face. "What?" I asked.

"Oh…just looking at the view." he shrugged. I looked away and blushed. He wasn't meaning the scenery.

I went over to the kitchen to scrounger up a snack. "So what does that leave us?" Jacob asked. "Best friends? Partners?"

"More like baby momma and baby daddy." I laughed, only laughing more when I saw the reaction on Jacob's face. "On a serious note, it doesn't matter honestly. A title on what we are shouldn't be a main focus. I love you. You love me. Screw what others think." I answered.

I sat down with my snack and Jacob laughed. He's been thinking about my different eating habits. I could actually probably beat him if we ever had a eating contest.

"You need to call your family. Tell them how we ignored the hints of Marcello and how I should have listened to Alice for the first time in my life. And about the other…thing." Jacob said. I decided to not go any further into why Jacob didn't listen to Alice. I only thought about telling them that I was pregnant.

"Um…" I mumbled with a mouthful of food. "Alice probably could see it happen anyway so…"

"Call them. They miss you. I'm here. They don't get the opportunity like I do. At least talk to Bella. She's the one who would understand."

"No. She's not going to understand."

"Call."

"Oh yeah, I'll say 'Hey Momma! Guess what? Jacob didn't think about telling you I'm pregnant when Alice called because we're both too chicken to tell you! Oh, almost forgot! We were so wrapped up in fighting with each other that we forgot to mention that Marcello tried to kill us-again. Did I mention that I was pregnant?' That's going to be easy as pie!" I said, throwing food at him which he easily caught with his mouth.

"I told the guys." Jacob said.

I froze. No crying over Kaleb. That's the past.

"Have they said anything?"

"Not that I know of." Jacob seemed to hesitate to speak again for a second. "Kaleb quit the pack. He's going human now." Jacob finally said. He acted like I was about to bust into tears. It could have but I only felt disappointment. Now Jacob and this baby were what my life needed to be around. Not somebody else's. Definitely not Kaleb.

"That's his decision." I only said.

"And Abby and Karli broke up with Seth and Embry." Jake said fast. He covered his face with his arms just in case I wanted to hit him. He knew me too well. I was angry at those two idiots. I didn't want them to make the same mistake I did. It's going to kill them. It's killing Seth and Embry. I won't let them do the same stupid thing I did.

I threw my snack across the room and screamed, "I told Abby not to do that! Karli knows better too! I knew better! Everybody's probably thinking that this is what you three get for being with an outsider! I can't let them make the mistakes I did. We have to go back there, Jake."

"We're not getting in the middle of that." Jake said as he stopped me from getting my phone.

"Then I will."

"Seth and Embry are unpredictable right now. You're not the favorite person on the reservation right now. Especially with the baby. It can force me to take percussions that I really don't want to take. Knowing my tribe, they'll probably push me to do something I don't want to do!" Jacob stopped me. I've never really seen him go all Chief mode before. Only Alpha to the pack. "Family first then we'll worry about the others."

"You're death wish." I sighed.

"You'd be surprised at how hard I am to kill." Jacob said. He's got a point there.

I grabbed my phone, seeing several calls I avoided or didn't hear. I knew there was only one person who could hide it from everybody-especially from my father. Momma aka future grand-mother.

I bit my lip and started eating again. I don't know if it's because I haven't ate in a while, I haven't hunted in a while, I'm nervous, or that I'm eating for more than just two. I hope it just has its daddy's appetite and not the latter.

"Renesmee?" I heard my mother's frantic voice ask.

"It's me." I said weakly. I noticed Jacob was passed out so he wouldn't be much of support. Thanks a lot.

"We've been so worried. Alice said Jacob hung up on her and we've been calling ever since. She said she couldn't even see Marcello anymore. We're on our way to Isle Esme right now." my mother said.

I took a deep breath. "All of you?" I asked.

"Yeah. If Marcello-"

"He's dead-destroyed. Jacob did it. He was on Isle Esme." I said, cutting her off.

"That stupid mutt! If he would have let us come-"

"If we waited on all of you, we would have been dead. This happen right after he hung up on Alice. Jake wouldn't have known." I answered in his defense.

"Sounds like you two are getting along. Is things getting easier?" I could hear the smile in my mother's voice as she spoke.

My fingers trailed to my lips as I remembered those amazing kisses. I would say that with those kisses we would be amazing. But we weren't. We were only just getting started. "It's an on going process." I laughed, feeling bubbly with remembering the kisses.

"Huh? By your tone of voice I would say things are just getting started." Momma laughed.

I took another deep breath. It was now or never to tell her the news.

"Momma?" my voice wavered a little. I imagined how she would react. Was she going to be happy, upset?

"Yes?"

"Are you with anybody right bow?" I asked. I kicked Jacob to wake up and he jumped. He could hear who I was talking to and took my hand. I didn't want to tell them over the phone but it needed to be sooner rather than later.

"Just the family. They're all waiting to tell you happy birthday. That's why we are all coming just to see you."

"Could you and Daddy just come?" I asked. I figured the more time I wasted the better my nerves will come down.

"If that's what you and Jacob want. Nessie, is something wrong?" Momma asked, this time worried.

"You can do it." Jacob thought to me. He wasn't the one that was actually telling very over protective parents that I'm pregnant.

"Nothing." I had to say. I felt like I was choking. What if Daddy hurts Jacob? What if they try to take away my baby?

"Renesmee, I know something is wrong! Tell me!" Momma ordered in a voice I knew not to disobey.

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Tell me."

A tear finally slipped down my cheek. He goes nothing. "I'm pregnant." I finally stated. I felt sick again and Jacob brought me closer to him.

"I figured that." She knew? She suspected? Am I an idiot or something?

I heard movement in the background but paid it no mind. "How?"

"Mother's intuition. You'll understand in a few months."

Momma didn't sound happy. I doubt anybody was. Maybe aunt Rosalie.

"Say something more than just that." I begged.

"What do you want me to say?"

I breathed heavy. Jacob started rubbing small circles in my back to relax me. I didn't know what my mother should say. I knew she wouldn't say anything.

"Does Jacob know?"

I bit my lip and put the phone on speaker and put on the coffee table. "I do." my Jacob answered.

"Is that why you hung on Alice?"

"Yes. Bella, I swear I did not know. I didn't know this would happen. I mean…Carlisle said the chances were small, right? I promise I found out the day I came here. Nessie just found out too." Lie. I just came to the terms of it.

"Are you okay, Renesmee?" Momma asked me.

"It's not like your's, Momma. I promise its not like that. This baby is going to be like Jacob. The shape-shifter. I can't even hunt." Okay. Maybe I should have stuck with a yes or no answer.

"How's everybody taking it?" I asked.

"You'll see in a few days." Momma answered. "Just stay where you are. The cleaning crew are coming tomorrow. They probably need to stock up the kitchen for again. For Jacob."

"And me." I attempted to joke. "Eating for two here."

Maybe it didn't come out as funny as I hoped.

"I love you, my beautiful daughter. Stay safe. And take care of her, Jake. I'll see both of you soon." with that being said, my mother hung up.

I stayed frozen. I was pressed close to Jacob-something I tried to forget to love in the past two and a half months. It was something I instantly tried to push away from him, but now I don't want too. I have laid down my armor and have risen my white flag. I was afraid to go back to where we started. We might go back to being separated. I didn't want that to happen. This was my and Jacob's love. Our love wasn't ordinary.

Instead of letting me choose, Jacob was the one who needed to choose. I didn't want him to feel that he's stuck with me. He has a choice in this too. I chose to love him. Even if it's the imprint that makes us stick together. Jacob should know that he has a choice. Kaleb's made his. I've made mine. Jacob can make his.

Kaleb and I would have never worked. What we did was a mistake. What I did was a mistake. Choosing Kaleb over Jacob is one of the biggest mistakes in my life. Kaleb would never be able to raise a unknown creature. He wouldn't be able to be the father my child deserved Eventually, maybe, when he found the girl he wanted a true relationship with. He wouldn't be able to love me the way I wanted. Never the less, what I deserved was a runner, a quitter. I didn't deserve somebody so amazing, so strong, so brave, so good-hearted like my Jacob. He was giving me a simple gift that meant the world to me. It was something I did not deserve.

"That went well." I projected to Jacob, playing with the leather on my belt.

"It could have been worse." he thought.

He was right. It could have been a lot worse. But my family isn't here yet. They'll probably kill Jacob then kill my baby. If they did that then they would have to kill me. I knew they were afraid. I was too. But I was sure about this little one. It was special. Maybe it was just what we needed to actually come together as a family again.

I sat in silence watching Jacob as he stared into space. eH was biting his bottom lip and playing with my fingers. It hit me that that was the hand that would have held my bracelet. I tore off everything that Jacob gave me. The bracelet, the necklace that had a howling russet wolf and a heart with FM that stood for forever mine, the…engagement ring. I was suppose to be Jacob's forever. I need to try and get back to that.

I looked at my locket and opened it. The spot where a picture was suppose to be was bare. I took it out. The picture of my parents and Jacob. I broke down and ripped it out. I was about to brake down again.

"More than my own life." Jake whispered. I laid my head on his chest, fighting back tears. Jacob rubbed my back thinking I was getting sick again. He was about to get up but I stopped him.

In a few days I would have to show my parents my pregnancy. How I couldn't handle the smell or sight of blood. How I'm always sick. How I fainted. I feel fine now but my family isn't going to see it that way. I have nothing to bring to my family to make them see that I can do this.

"Are you okay?" my Jacob asked.

I nodded quickly, trying not to cry. "Just trying to figure out everything." I projected. I showed him how my family will act, the guys, why Abby and Karli did what I did. I needed to stop them. We needed to work on our relationship. I didn't want to push him into something he didn't want to do. Especially fatherhood.

"Ness, I'm here because I want to be. I'm here for you. You're not pushing me into anything. I just can't resist a beautiful four year old. Happy Birthday, Renesmee." Jacob said, kissing my cheek. We knew how to take it slow, didn't we?

"Thanks. Your promise though? If you're here because of-"

"If you're going to say imprint then don't. Maybe it is the imprint that is making me love you. I don't know. I can't explain something I don't know."

Jake shifted uncomfortable. I wonder how we were going to do this.

"I was going to say because of the pregnancy and how you think the baby has a gift, but if you want to go with that you can." I shrugged.

I sat up because I couldn't handle him being uncomfortable. Jake huffed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. "I…don't know. It seems the most stupidest but most logical answer."

"It has two very powerful parents."

Jacob snorted and I laughed. He thought protecting people was a curse. That he was a monster but the good kind.

"But I can use mine." I said. I didn't like the fact that my baby would have a powerful gift. It was powerful before it was even born.

I saw something in Jacob's thoughts that caught my attention. I had shield protection? No wonder why Momma's shield never bothered me! My mind reading was just a branch off of my projection. I'm four years old, part vampire, part human, pregnant, and has a whacked up relationship with a werewolf, and I never realized that I had a shield penetration. I'm one huge idiot!

"Because this baby somehow has a shield! It stops gifts whenever its around! Jacob! You are a genius!" I shouted, jumping on him and kissing him. I'm pregnant. I think I'm excusable for having mood swings.

Just now we had to figure out if it knew what it was doing or did it happen when it was around. Jacob said when he was around me he felt the instinct to phase. When he pressed it, it felt like there was something there to stop it. It made him sick and even angrier to the point of no return. I wanted to test it but Jake shut that down quickly.

Now we just sat and talked. Jake's leg healed after a few hours of waiting. He said it was pretty aggravating. Especially when you need it to heal right then and there.

I knew I was keeping Jacob up but he didn't seem to mind. He enjoyed talking to as much as I like talking to him. We had a long time to catch up on. This is what I like about us. We could simply talk and both of us were happy.

"Remember how one of Momma's classmate's thought I was her." I laughed.

Jacob chuckled. "Then I almost got us kicked out."

My face went blank. I didn't remember that he did that. I tried to remember, and had it, but it just faded away. I hoped that by Jacob sprawled out on the couch and me on the chaise lounge, he wouldn't see my face.

"Yeah." I showed him because I was afraid to speak. The last time I had one of those mind blanks, and he knew about it, he got angry. In fact this was my second or third time I couldn't remember anything.

We talked more about old memories we've both tried to push away. Or I have at least. Jacob was probably reliving them just to get away from the pain of me leaving him.

We remembered my third birthday, the Volturi Gala, when I was attacked. I let Jacob tell most of them because I couldn't remember most of them. I did actually remember how I felt the fist time Jacob kissed me. I felt like I could fly to the moon. He said he loved me. I loved him. He said he's always loved me-he always will. I wonder how much of that has changed now.

I remembered how beautiful I felt when I was at-shockingly-at the Volturi Gala. I remembered Jacob's warm, worried eyes when I woke up after fighting to stay alive. I remembered how amazing my high school prom was. I didn't want to go but my family made me. Jacob promised my father that he would make me smile. He surely did. He was nervous because earlier that day he asked Daddy for my hand in marriage.

I started to think about Jacob dying. That was the same night I kissed Kaleb. I wanted to run off with him but I stayed because I knew I also needed Jacob. He needed me. I asked myself questions on who loved me more. All the answers were quickly Jacob. I was just too stupid to not listen to my heart. From now on, though, I am going to do what Juliet did. What my mother did.

Follow my heart.

"Nessie?" Jake asked. He seemed hesitant to speak.

"Yes?"

"Why did you stop fighting? Why did you project to me?" he asked.

He turned to me but I kept my face forward, staring straight at the ceiling to not look at him. I knew if I did the tears would come back and I was sick of crying. "I showed you those images because you were so far away. I thought you were trying to get to me or you didn't care. I knew there was not going to be a way I could fight him pregnant. He knew that I was and then he threatened to go to the Volturi…" I trailed. He also threatened my baby but I didn't want to say anything about that. I had no clue if Jacob was happy like I was about this. "I guess I just…"

"Doubted yourself and me?" Jake seemed hurt but it was true. I thought he didn't care about me.

"If you want to put it that way." I breathed, opening and closing my locket several times.

Marcello was dead. Hailey was dead. Akken was with the Volturi as they plotted my death. Scarlet was dead. Rebecca, Isaiah, and Joseph were dead. Allistar was dead. I almost dies. Jacob died but came back some how-if you're crazy to believe that type of stuff. The people on the reservation hate me. Kaleb's gone to God knows where-probably seducing some hot blonde. Jake's almost crazy, heartbroken, happy that we're together. And I'm a coward that's pregnant with a child nobody possibly likes and doesn't know what it is.

My life is so flippin' simple.

I was tired, and so was Jacob, but I didn't want to go to sleep. I was afraid of all the bad dreams I would have. I would wake up and push Jake away. He would be angry and confused. The kisses would never happen. We would be right back to where we were at.

I got up and Jake followed, taking my hand. I loved the way it seemed like we were magnets. They said opposites attract; but Jacob and I were the same in some aspects. I always tried to figure that out but now I'm giving up. Jacob and I were out of the ordinary when it came to our love. But that's how I wanted it. I didn't want cookie cutter. What was the fun it that?

We walked to the large, white, gigantic room with the big canopy bed that I yearned to lie down and sleep for days in. It reminded me of the time Jake and I went to Spain. I laughed at those memories.

"What?" Jacob asked as he leaned against the doorframe. I loosened my belt but really felt like getting out of this dress.

"Just remembering an old memory." I laughed even more as I saw the look on his face.

He walked closer to me, pulling me to him. My first reaction was to stop it. We were moving way to fast. I didn't want to stop it so I didn't. I didn't want slow. I don't want comfortable. I don't want normal. Jacob has been there for me for four years. He sort of helped deliver me. He was there when I need him to be. He was going to get hurt again if he stuck around with me, but he stayed. I just I have to make sure that I am the only one that pays for my mistakes. Jake and my baby can't.

"What memory?"

I remembered the time in Spain. Hailey planned an attack so that made Jacob and I run off to Spain. Those days were amazing…until Akken showed up to warn us to not doubt Hailey and Marcello. Come to find out we should have taken up on his warning in a more serious way. Because of instead of Hailey-who thought all half breeds were an abomination-being over the renegade, Nahuel's sister, Scarlet, was over it. She was jealous of what I had-including Jacob-and wanted to take it all from me. I just realized now that even after she was dead she got what she wanted. Just I did the job for her.

"Spain." I projected. He shivered and I didn't know if it was because of being close to me or the other memory. The time in Spain was bittersweet towards the ending. Because while we were there, Jake lost a pack brother, Joseph. He was extremely young and Jake blamed himself for putting him out there to die. He also lost his older sister, Rebecca. He especially blamed himself for that. Him, Billy, Rachel, and Rebecca were just getting close again and all that was taken away.

Rebecca? Is it too early to think about baby names?

"Ness?" Jake asked.

"Yes, my Jacob?" I smiled.

Jacob tried to smile but couldn't. "What are we going to do? About us? About…the baby? I mean, we can handle a baby right? We've babysat for Emily so it can't be that hard, right? But what about you and me?"

I noticed Jacob was really worried about this. As I was worried about he would react to the idea of fatherhood, he was worried about us. "Me and you?"

"We're jumping into this as if nothing happen. Yeah, I know it's great we're able to love each other again, but…what happen, that's something I can't easily forget about. You and Kaleb went behind my back, Ness. And what kills me the most is that you thought you couldn't trust me. I thought I didn't give you a choice so I blamed myself! I didn't want anybody to blame you! And you continued to be ever so prideful and not open up when I was the one that needed you!" Jacob yelled, backing up and looking at me.

I walked over to the bed and sat down, looking him in the eye. He had so much bottled up that I knew would take a while for everything to come out. I was okay with it. I had to be. Jacob has been hurt on several accounts by me and he was finally looking after himself. Hurting him is the biggest regret of all. I wished I could promise him that I won't hurt him anymore. I just couldn't. Because I knew I would break that promise.

"I understand." I told him.

"It's not that I don't hate you. It's…I thought you loved me then you and Kaleb…Ness, it make s me sick just thinking about it. And it makes me feel even more stupid that I didn't follow my gut when I suspected something! Both of you are to blame!" he continued.

"I know." I whispered. I've hurt Jacob and there was no way I could go back and change it.

"And then you expect me to love a child that might not be mine!? That's a product of that betrayal!? That can easily kill you and the one's I love!" Jake was aggravated that all I was doing was shrinking away. I couldn't fight back. All the fire had gone out. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg some more.

"And you're sitting here as if we're talking about what football team is going to win the freakin' Superbowl or something!" Jake shouted again. His body shook all over and he grunted. He put a hand on the bed post. It was either because the pain was so bad he had to hold himself up, or he had to take his anger out on something. "And the part that sucks is that I still love you! No matter how bad I tell myself to run, my connection with you keeps bringing me back."

I could see all the memories flash around his mind. Most good, most bad. If I was smart I would agree with him that he should run. Part of me wanted him too. But I was selfish. I wanted to keep him to myself.

I got up and walked to Jacob. By now his anger got the best of him and all I could see was the tension in his body. I moved so he wouldn't break the bed and noticed he was using me to stand.

Jake took several deep breaths and most of them came out shaky. A few tears slipped down. I knew it was bad enough to make my Jacob cry. He was strong. Yeah, he cried but not in front of people.

I pulled him closer to me. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, crushing me against him. I winced but didn't let it show. I could handle Jacob's strength. But if it was bad enough to make me wince was something.

"You have every right to have every feeling you feel." I whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry I don't know what else to do. I'll project you anything. I'll tell you anything. I wish there was more I could do. I wish I knew how to do more. The best thing that would be good for us is to try and break the imprint so you could find somebody better to love you than me."

Jacob pressed me closer to him. It was painfully tight but I didn't care. "All I can say that I'm over a million, thousand percent sorry. I cannot explain or project how awful I feel about betraying you. I know I can't take it back no matter how bad I wish could The actions, the words, everything I did I wish I could take back. But I can't. Please forgive me. Your forgiveness and love is all I want. And don't worry about your family and friends because I deserve how they feel towards me. Their just trying to protect you. I promise I'll try my hardest to make you love me again-no. I will make you love me again. I'll make you feel special and loved. If you want me that is." I showed him because I couldn't speak due to Jake's stronger than iron grip.

We stayed like that forever-or it seemed like that. I wasn't going to complain about Jacob hugging me too tight. Jacob was different than he normally was. He was more heartbroken, open to vulnerability. The one I've been seeing is so cold and harsh. It felt nice for the both of us to cry together.

"I'm just…I guess I'm getting tired of it all. I've like I'm being pulled in so many directions that if I'm pulled too much I'll rip and be useless. I feel like…I don't know!" Jacob thought.

I started to wince more. He was being pulled and I was being crushed. And despite being close to him, I felt sick.

"I love you, Jacob." I said. I loved him and our child.

There was a point where I couldn't take the pain anymore and tried to step away. I moaned in pain and stumbled against the bed post, catching my breath. After that all I wanted to do was crawl up in bed and sleep.

Jacob looked up at me but I just shook my head. Right now I needed my personal space.

And a trash can.

I ran to the toilet and did my hourly ritual. Jacob was there like always, rubbing my back. I'm glad he's there. I needed somebody behind me that'll help me face my parents.

I washed my face just to make me feel better. Throwing up all the time wasn't going to help. My mind going blank wasn't going help. My family would flip when they couldn't use their gifts. The pack would freak when they eventually have to go through what Jacob does.

"What are we going to do?" I showed Jacob. I was standing in front of the vanity mirror and Jacob was behind me. I fell against him and leaned my head back against his chest. I noticed he had his hand right on my stomach but I don't think he noticed it.

Looking at it, I've grown a little. Not that much to flip out over but it was enough to know I was pregnant. I actually kind of liked this picture with Jacob's hand on my stomach and me smiling at him.

As I looked closer I realized I was just being stupid. I already know I was bigger than the average three month pregnancy. What if that changes, though? What if when I'm four months I look five? What if it is like Momma's pregnancy? No. I've got to think positive. I'm stronger. I can do this.

I went to the closet to get the dress off and into something better for sleeping. While Jacob was changing into a pain of sweat pants, I slipped on one of his shirts. When he laid down beside me, he just laughed. Jake was cautious about sleeping in the same bed with me again, but I told him that it would be easier on the both of us it I got sick.

"Never gets old." I sighed as I slid further down into the sheets. I could feel Jake doing the same.

"Sure, sure." he mumbled.

I snuggled closer to Jacob who automatically tensed up again. He kept breathing in deep breaths which helped. I decided to push my luck and turned to my side, making me closer to him. I reached out to hold his hand and he took it. I slowly brought it to my stomach. Jake touched it for almost a second before he recoiled and turned around to make his back to me.

"Night, Nessie." Jake said. He scooted to the edge of the bed and further away from me. I deserved it for pushing him away but it still stung.

"Night, Jake." I said as lightly as possible. I scooted to my side and got comfortable. As much as I could get at least.

I swallowed back tears but let a few escape. I tried to stay calm, and by doing so I didn't think about anything. I made my breathing sound heavy like Jacob's to make it look like I was asleep. I was actually kind of jealous because his side was where the ocean was. If he was still awake, he had something to focus on, but he sounded passed out.

I pressed my hand to my stomach. I would have to fight this battle alone. I was fine with it. I could do it. I'm strong. I'm feisty. I can handle my family. I can do this.

I can't do this! Who am I kidding? I need my family to back me up and help me because I had no clue how to be a mother. I babysat Channing and I helped Kaleb with Kierra but that doesn't compare to what a mother does.

I was in love with Jacob's baby. I was in love with this baby's father. I couldn't myself loving them any less than I do right now. I just hope Jacob feels the same.