Chapter 15
Jacob's point of view:
Thankfully, for my sake, the Cullens stayed in Forks. I just now have to explain to Nessie that she needs to stay with her family while I handled everything at the reservation. It won't be pretty if the wolves and the Cullens were in the same room and Nessie was in the crossfire.
Nessie gripped my hand tighter as we pulled up the drive. She was nervous. I was terrified. I'm going against Edward, Jasper, and Emmett. And Rosalie! I hope that this kid can resurrect its daddy too.
"Why do I feel like the time when you took me home after out first date?" Nessie asked as were stared at the Cullens white, three story mansion. The last time I was here, it was a blank surface and I was able to meet my nephew. Having Nessie by my side seemed like a dream. These past few days feel like a dream and I feel like I'm about to wake up and all this never happen.
All of this was a dream. Marcello destroyed. I went to South America, let alone Brazil. I fought a vampire single handedly with my weakest link watching my every move. I was falling in love. Again. Nessie was pregnant and I was the father. Nessie and I were together. It is dreamful. I feel like all it takes is somebody to wake me up and tell me I'm back in reality.
All the Cullens walked out the door and hugged Bella and Edward and then looked at us. Nessie gripped my hand tighter. We were both breathing hard. We were both nervous.
"I think I'm going to be sick." Me and her both.
I huffed and leaned my head back against the leather car seat. I got Nessie pregnant, breaking my second promise I made to them, we didn't wait until we were married, Nessie cheated on me, and then she broke my heart. It sounds normal, right?
"Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"Is something wrong?" Nessie asked, her chocolate, brown eyes filled with concern.
Should I tell her the truth? If she were reading my mind, she would already know.
"You're right. I do know." she smiled.
"Then why did you ask?"
"Because sometimes it's better to verbally get it off your chest."
I looked at her family and then looked down at our entwined hands. I didn't fell like saying it again but I did anyway. Nessie knew how to make me open up. "I feel like this is all a dream." I blurted.
"You mean…"
"Marcello, the baby…us." I mumbled.
"I know." Nessie said as if she understood. I doubted it but I have been wrong before.
"I just feel like pretty soon somebody is going to wake me up. You'll be in London. Kaleb will be trying to get under my skin. I'll be…" Dead.
Nessie put her hand on my cheek and brought my face to meet hers. She brought her face even closer to mine so that her lips were inches from mine, and I could feel her breath on me. It seemed like a while since the last time we kissed, and she was teasing me now.
"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, her lips getting a lot closer to me. "Jakey-wakey."
I gave her a look. "If you weren't 'bout to kiss me right now, I would make you regret calling me that."
"Oooh…but I think you've forgotten that I'm also pregnant. Can't do much." Nessie flirted, cutting her eyes that she knew made me weak. My resolve of not kissing her was crumbling by the second. I wanted to kiss her right in front of her family. However, I knew I should be cautious, too. I am; but Nessie was close to breaking down everything. I was falling in love with her even more than I did a year ago. Sadly to say, I was falling in love with my child too no matter how bad I told myself not too. It could kill the love of my life. It could kill her family. It could kill my father, my sisters, and my brothers.
Me.
Nessie scooted closer to me, placing her lips on mine but not kissing me. Why does she have to do this?
"Because. It's rightful for a man to kiss his Baby Mama." Nessie joked. I gave her another look. I could handle boyfriend. I could handle partner. I could even go as far as being called the guy that knocked up his girlfriend when he didn't even know her getting pregnant was possible. (Long title, right?) But really? Baby Mama?
I was having trouble breathing. Especially when Nessie was tempting this hard. "What's wrong…my Baby Daddy." Okay! She's just doing this to aggravate me.
"Baby Daddy? Really?" I asked.
"Shut up and kiss me, Jacob Black."
Before I could even move, she put her hand on my neck and brought my face to hers. Before I knew it, her body was pressed close to mine, my hands were trying to pull her closer, and our lips were glued to each other. Hopefully this won't hurt the baby.
"And now we have evidence that he is the father." I heard Emmett cough. I tried to pull away but Nessie didn't let me.
Eventually Nessie pulled away but rested her head on mine. She told me on her birthday that she deserved all the bad things. The caution, the doubt. By her kissing me, everything was fading away. It was so great that I wanted to kiss her again.
And I did. I reached over and touched my lips to her, the whole process before starting over. Just this time I wanted to push my luck and press further.
Nessie pulled away and straightened up her shoulders in pride. "Now that's what I call a kiss." she was, but I was too dumbfounded to respond. That kiss was…
"How can you be talking?" I thought, sitting back against the leather seat and laughed. I felt like I always do when I kiss Nessie. I feel like I'm on this high that left me acting like an idiot.
I turned to look at the Cullens who were either wearing smiles, raised eyebrows, or uncomfortable looks. I knew I wouldn't trip or stumble-but new things have happen before. I just…I need a minute.
"You okay? You look like you were shot up with something."
I looked at her with a stupid grin splashed on my face. Just by that look she busted into giggles, which made me join in with her. We were laughing so hard we were both gripping each other to hold our own self up. I didn't know if I was nervous, or jittery, or just an idiot, but I couldn't help but laugh.
Renesmee sobered up and leaned against me, still giving short giggles as I tried to stop. Which was an epic failure. We started up again, but this time Nessie snorted which made me laugh harder. Nessie fell into my lap and started to try to calm down. Yeah, I would say we were both nervous and jittery.
"Ready to go to battle?" she breathed between laughs.
"Right now? No. They'll think I'm crazy." I breathed also.
Nessie moved over and sat in my lap. I sobered up only to swallow hard as it felt like somebody was choking me. The itch was there to. Don't push it. Don't push it.
"You know, in a few more months, I won't be able to do this. I'll be too big." Nessie laughed but hearing the word "big" scared me.
I realized that Nessie was starring directly at my eyes. Tears pooled over her eyes, threatening to come down. She breathed heavy and gripped my biceps hard. She turned to look at her family then turned back to look at me. Nessie started to shake her head quickly and bent her head down to look at her stomach.
"Nessie?' I asked. She didn't look back up or answer me. I could see the tears fall. My heart twisted with seeing her cry, and my connection with her giving me her pain.
"Look at me." I told her.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want you to think I'm crying because I'm feeling sorry for myself." Renesmee told me, tears falling down from her face.
I put my finger underneath her chin and made her look at me. Renesmee gritted her teeth to keep crying but they were still coming. I wanted to be cautious about loving her. The human part wanted to back away. To run from the hurricane that comes and goes away. The other part of me-the weird, mythical part-told me to stay because I was in love with the girl who broke my heart so many times. Because she was pregnant and my responsibility was to her and that child. Because I was young, stupid, in love, and had no clue what I was getting myself into.
"Just because you're crying doesn't mean that, Ness. Why are you so worried about what I think? You never have before." I joked, but it only seem to set her off worse.
"Nice going, Jacob." Rosalie muttered. I'm still shocked they're giving us this time. It could be because they already know that Nessie was knocked up.
"Yeah! Nice going, Jacob! Now you've made me feel even worse!" Nessie sobbed, letting the tears fall now instead of hiding them. She laid her head in the crook of my neck and sobbed. I saw her family walk back into the house to give us privacy.
I wrapped my arms around her and let Nessie cry. "Why are you guilty?" I thought. I believed her when she told me why she left. I believed it all. Call me stupid if you want, but…I have to go with my intuition on this one.
The uncomfortable feeling flared up even worse when she was getting closer and closer. I ignored it. Nessie needed me. Yes, I had other places to be, but Nessie and this child was my most important responsibility. I had either to like it or leave. I did not like the latter so I think I'll stick around.
Renesmee let out a growl in aggravation. "I'm such an idiot! I can't do this! We can't do this! Not with the pack, my family, and-and the Volturi! Jacob, the Volturi! They'll kill the baby! We're just now figuring things out! We're not married! I loved another guy! I'm tying you down! This-this is just…it's horrible, Jacob! We both agreed once that we shouldn't bring a child into this! I mean, just this past June you practically died! I left you because I didn't want to face up to my mistakes! How can we raise a child when you're crazy and I'm a coward?! It's already strong…We have no clue if it'll take the wolf gene, the human, or the vampire! I…I can't do this by myself! We cannot do this!" Renesmee yelled as more tears fell down her face. I took my thumb and wiped them away.
"Where are you getting at, Nessie?" I asked even though I already knew what she was meaning. She was scared. Reality was kicking back in.
"I'm stupid to think that I can have a baby at four years old." she mumbled, leaning back and looking down at her stomach.
"I'm stupid to think that I can be a father at sixteen."
"Yeah, but your true age is twenty. You look seven years older than that!"
"Are you calling me old?" I joked only to make her feel better.
Nessie giggled. "No. I'm just saying that most people are going to think that you're hopping on the gravy train or I'm your trophy girlfriend. Or baby mama."
Really? We have to go with that again?
"We don't need to worry about the others." I told Renesmee. "All we need to worry about is me and you." I added, kissing her forehead.
"And the baby." she chirped.
"And the baby." I agreed.
"So we don't have to tell everybody else?"
"Can't that lucky;" I answered, "But we do need to tell my dad and sister soon."
I just knew I was going to have to call a Council Meeting. Did their opinion sway my decision on being with Nessie? No. Did we have to call a meeting every time somebody had a baby? Heck no. But I do to do it when there was a possibility that there was a loophole or a break in the treaty? When the baby could be dangerous to my tribe? I have other people that rely on me to keep them alive.
The thing was, though, I was also going to protect my child. To be his voice. To back Nessie up. They can be mad at Nessie-a little. They can be mad at me; but they have to give my son or daughter a chance. Everybody deserves a chance right…my hands are tied. I can't do anything. I could loose the respect of my people! I could cause the Cullens to hate me. I could put Nessie in more danger. I'm being pulled in so many directions. I wanted to shout that I was only one person. It's exhausting. Maybe that's the reason why I was falling in love with Nessie and this kid. Because I'm too worn out and tired to fight to keep my walls up.
"What do you think of it?" Nessie finally asked. She looked up at me in an innocent way, from underneath her eyelashes.
I had no clue what to answer. What did I think about this? So instead of being smart and answering, I decided to play dumb to buy me some time. "The baby?" I asked and she nodded. There went my three seconds of coming up with a good answer.
"Um…I think firstly we need to go in and see your family." I answered. I didn't want to tell her something that I might eventually have to turn my back on.
Apparently, what I told her wasn't what she wanted. Nessie just nodded and moved to open the car door. I didn't want things to end like this.
I pulled the door shut and brought her hand in mine. "You really want to know what I think about this? About me and you-and the baby?" I asked and she nodded. "You need to know that I'm falling more in love with you than I ever have before. Believe me, I keep reminding myself that both of us together is like standing in the middle of an atomic bomb. I know I am playing with fire but I also like the burn.
"You sound goofy right now; but I feel the same way. What about the baby, though?"
"I'm not scared." I told Renesmee. She let out a breath that seemed was being bottled up and smiled.
"Good because-"
"I'm not finished. I'm not scared. I'm terrified about it all." I finished.
Renesmee's chocolate, brown eyes looked directly at mine. I couldn't divert my gaze to anything else but her eyes. The temptation to kiss her again was catching to me again so I moved my head closer to hers. Nessie gave me a wide, geeky grin that I couldn't help but smile back at.
"Are you going to finally kiss me?" she smiled.
Tempting…
"Maybe." I shrugged. "Maybe I'm just going to play with your head." I added with a cocky smile that I knew she loved.
Renesmee moved her head so that my lips were closer to hers. Slowly I moved mine to where our lips were inches apart. Nessie was trying not to smile, but you could tell in her eyes and how she shifted was getting her excited. I could hear it in her quick heartbeat. I could feel it-her excitement making it my own. The uncomfortable feeling turned to a sickening pain but I'm ignoring it. I've got more matters to worry about now.
"Well…"
"Well, what?"
"Aren't you going to kiss me?"
I pretended to consider it, cocking my head to the side. "Nah. Maybe later." With that being said, I got up and left Nessie in the car. I turned our to smile at her when I saw Nessie's with her mouth open in shock, looking from the spot I was sitting at then back at me.
"What?"
"I just gave you one of the most amazing kisses I ever had! I just bawled my eyes out and you…" she trailed as if she couldn't find what words to say. She just gawked at me. It made me uncomfortable. I didn't know if it was because of the crazy hormones or just being Nessie, but I thought it was funny to see Nessie stammer and stutter. Normally I'm the one doing it.
I walked over to Nessie and bent down on one knee. I brought my face close to hers, hearing her heart quicken again. "I thought you said I could take this relationship on whatever pace I want?" I asked with a smirk.
Nessie nodded and then moaned. She didn't have motion sickness but between the blood, vampire smell, and just being pregnant was hard on her. The pregnancy isn't going to be a walk in the park. But when is anything easy?
We stayed like that for a while. Nessie had her arms wrapped around her stomach as if she could hide it. It gave her a possibility if we were telling a bunch people who didn't have sharp senses. Hence, being a vampire or a werewolf. I might go even further as something else. It seems like every mythical creature actually existed now and days. But most people were "gifted" as us.
"Need a minute?" I knew I did.
"I need a whole week! I don't know why I'm so nervous. I mean, they already know." Renesmee projected. Good point. Maybe it could be just natural.
"Were you nervous about telling me?" I asked.
"You found out on your own."
But you said you were going to eventually call and tell me. Were you nervous about the idea?"
I took her hand and looked at her. Nessie chewed inside her cheek, considering it. "I wasn't nervous." she smiled. That stung. A lot. "I was terrified. I told you that I didn't want anything to do with you, then I call you and tell you I'm pregnant with you child? I could only imagine what your reaction would be. That's why I was somewhat thankful Momma called you. I knew I would never be able to do it. If it were left up to me, you probably would have seen me when I was close to being due or when I grew up. And let you see your daughter, of course."
"Or son. It could be a boy you know." I shrugged, smiling. I knew if I never made the choice on going to see her, I would have most likely seen my son or daughter well after he or she was born.
"Whatever you say, Jacob." Ness laughed then moaned. I had no clue how she was going to be able to stay with any of her family. The vampire stench was going to make her sick. To me I thought it was funny, but it wasn't whenever Renesmee was puking her guts out.
"How are you going to be able to do this with the stench?" I thought to her. Nessie didn't answer but only let and a breath and laid her head in her knees, wrapping her arms around her stomach even tighter.
"All day sickness, remember? Just right now is morning sickness."
"What's the difference?"
"I really have no clue. It's morning and I'm sick." Nessie shrugged.
"The scent? The nerves? Me…" I stopped there, not sure what I actually was to Renensmee. Partner seemed like we went out, had too much to drink, didn't know each other, and I got her knocked up. Friend was just…it didn't fit. Not with the connection we have. Boyfriend seemed too quick. I refuse to be called Baby Daddy.
"Baby Daddy? You, a little. The scent and nerves…yeah." There she goes again with that word again!
Nessie got up and started walking to the door. She stopped, turning to me, and held out a hand with a slight smile. She was so beautiful. Her alabaster skin, her bronze ringlet curls, the innocent way she smiled, the vulnerable look in her eyes. I was in love. An idiot who loved to play with fire. Looking at her now, I felt like this was the first time I've seen her. Actually looking at her with clear eyes. I was not going to give up this time.
"You coming?" Nessie asked, her voice the most beautiful sound I think I've ever heard.
I didn't answer at first, only gawking at her. She raised an eyebrow out me and I was finally able to speak. "Ye-yeah." I stammered, slamming the door shut and rushing to her. Nessie gripped my hand tight, leaning against my shoulder and I grunted. I felt just as sick as she was. I was in pain. The push to phase sounded so good right now-even better than kissing Nessie-but I knew where that would get me. I didn't want a relapse of what happen in Isle Esme. So instead, I chose to ignore it. I'm strong enough to do it.
I hope.
"Ready or not?" Renesmee asked.
"Here we come." I answered. We were far from ready but we were going into this battle anyway. Into my death possible.
We walked through the front door to all the eyes of the Cullens. Nessie moaned and turned stiff, holding her breath. I noticed the vampires' facial expression was unfocused at first. She must be showing them something and they were thinking back. I guess this conversation wasn't going to include me. Should that be a good or bad thing?
I noticed Alice was rubbing her temples and Jasper looked like he wanted to either kill something or run. Bella and Edward were the only ones who seemed they were slightly okay. We all decided back on the island that we were going to have to control whatever this strange feeling was. They saw how vulnerable and weak Nessie was becoming. Instead of fighting her, we had to stand behind her just in case she falls. If we kept trying to fight her, she's going to back away and run. I couldn't handle that. It was the Cullens choice if they wanted her. I needed her.
"What's wrong with Alice and Jasper?" I thought to Nessie but I already knew what it was. The baby.
"So are you two lovebirds again?" Emmett joked with a smirk on his face. To me it would seem like a joke, but Nessie's eyes told another story.
"Yes, we are." she growled, glaring at Emmett. He looked down in a guilty way. I didn't bother looking at the rest when I knew who and what they were lucking at.
"All of you are thinking it, so you might as well speak it out lout. At least for Jacob's sake because I'm tired of fighting." Nessie said with a crackle at the end of her statement. "You too, Mother and Father!"
"What is it?" Jasper asked.
"A baby." my Renesmee spat. I gripped her hand tighter to keep calm. I couldn't loose focus when Nessie needed me right at this moment.
"It must be strong if it's already using a gift." Carlisle said. That was what I was afraid of: that topic.
"I projected to Momma." she stated. That wasn't going to help, and right now I wasn't doing a good job at the whole helping thing too.
"That is exactly my point, Nessie! You're mother was already huge by a months time!" Edward yelled.
Keep calm. Keep calm.
"I'm three months. Some pregnancies show at my time."
"Now when you might be carrying something that could start a war with the wolves." Emmett said, glaring at me. I knew that look. He doubted my true alliance with them. I had to grip Nessie a lot tighter to me to keep calm. The wolves were not going to attack. Not without my say.
"Jacob wouldn't do that. Do you honestly think he would kill his own child?" Nessie defended on my behalf. Oh, I've actually thought about the baby killing her and me killing it. That was another story for another day.
"Edward wanted too." Alice muttered. I took step forward, seeing nothing but red. I had my eyes set on so many vampires that my muscles shook with anticipation of letting the wolf over take me and do nothing but rip them to shreds. If it wasn't for Nessie's hand on my chest, I would.
"But that was different. This baby is Jacob's. He or she is going to be good. It'll be like Jacob." Nessie pleaded.
I didn't want my child to be like me. I wanted it to be its own person. However, I'll take the compliment-even thought I wasn't classified as "good."
"What about the Volturi, though? They could destroy us all for creating an unknown creature!" Rosalie yelled. I took a slight step back in shock while Nessie looked at her with disbelief. Out of all her family, she at least thought Rosalie would stand by her side. I knew better.
That is where I could see-feel-that Nessie's fire was dwindling out. She needed to keep fighting. We can loose a few battles but this one was something we really did not need to loose.
"THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" Nessie shrieked. By the look on her face, she was about to vomit and I was about to be on the floor.
"Let's all calm down." Carlisle said. "We won't get nowhere with this."
Nessie swallowed back tears but stuck her chin up in determination. There's my girl. "I know I made adult choice and I know I have to pay the adult consequences. At first, I didn't even want the baby. I knew I was a one in a million chance of me getting pregnant, but it did. Just like it was rare for a human to fall in love with a vampire. Or a werewolf to fall in love with half of its natural enemy. But it did. This happen and I have to grow up. I have to realize all my mistakes. I deeply regret them. I wish I could change them every day. I wish I could back in time and change them but I can't. I just have to learn from them and move on. I love Jacob. I love this baby. And you're not taking away neither of them from me."
For a second everybody froze. I could only smile, but it faltered when I saw that Nessie and Bella were smiling at each other. Bella walked over to Nessie and hugged her. I guess she won somebody else on her side now.
"You've grown up so much." Bella whispered in Renesmee's ear. Nessie looked up at me and smiled. I kissed her on the forehead then saw a hint of disappointment flash in her eyes. She tried to hide it but I caught it too soon.
Emse walked up and hugged us both. "Both of you are going to be wonderful parents." she said with a smile. Nessie smiled back so I guess I did too.
"Now onto the mutt." Emmett said again with a smirked. I gulped.
"What did I do?" That was a stupid question. The answer was obvious just by looking at Nessie's stomach, but I was terrified so I had to do something to but me some time.
"You broke our one promise." Bella snapped. Nessie gripped me even tighter.
"What if you kill her?"
"We told you-"
"I already know this. I've already went through what everybody would say to me. I've already been through this. Yes, I'm terrified she's going to go through what Bella went through! It's going to kill me if she does die! But I also know Nessie is strong and that she's handled other stuff that came her way. Why not a baby? Besides, she's never listened to me before, so why should she start now?" I defended. I had my life on the hand so it was either going to be a fight one way or another.
"Did you know before she left?" Jasper asked, curling his hands into fist. I did the same but tried to keep my cool for Nessie's sake. She would never forgive me if I hurt one of her family members.
"I swear I didn't know until I saw her." I answered-or pleaded just to give them humor. I wondered how long I had until the howling came, signaling a council meeting. I hope I have a lot of time.
"This is my decision. I'm doing this either with all of you or without you." Nessie hissed, showing determination again.
I wasn't going to loose her again so she knew my decision. They could push her away but I wasn't. It could be because Nessie pulled the imprint card and I give her what she wants, or I want to be a father. I didn't know which was which. I couldn't change anything now.
"I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! I CAN'T SEE!" Alice shouted, making Nessie jump practically in my arms. Alice grabbed Jasper's hand, and in a flash quicker than lighting, they were gone.
Instead of looking at the others, I noticed the house had some things to make it livable. I didn't know if they were staying a few days or until the end of the pregnancy, but I hoped they would at least stay until after Christmas. All I could ask was for them to stay long enough so that I could have a little time to find balance. Alpha, Chief, being there for Nessie, and being a father was all on my plate. All seemed like they were going to be a hard job.
Nessie walked over to the couch and laid down, moaning. I sat down with her and brought her closer to me so that she could breathe in my scent.
"Are you sure you want to do this? Pregnancies-" Rosalie started but Nessie shook her head.
"Don't start. Not now." she begged. It was silence between them. Eventually Rosalie stormed out and Nessie's eyes filled with tears. Emmett must have knew the conversation because he walked over to Nessie.
He bent down and kissed Nessie's forehead. "Be strong, wildflower." he said, ruffling her hair. He squeezed my shoulder, looked at us apologetically, and walked out to follow Rosalie.
"What went on?" I thought but Nessie just shook her head no. I dropped the case.
There was silence in the room, mostly to let Nessie silently cry. Bella moved a trashcan near Renesmee's head so she wouldn't have to run when she gets sick. Eventually Nessie started to snore slightly.
"Please tell me that you're moving back." I begged once I was sure Nessie was sound asleep.
Carlisle nodded. "Only until I can at least get the rest of the equipment. The hospital in Forks trusts me enough too not raise any suspicion. We can use Bella's excuse that the two of you are back from traveling and that one of you is sick."
"Don't you have some of the equipment?" Bella asked.
"Not enough to be prepared if something goes wrong." Carlisle answered.
To hide my anger, I looked down at Nessie. She gripped my hand as if her life depended on it. It did. She needed me as much as I needed her. It was hard to see her so beautiful and know that something could change that. She would always be beautiful in my eyes, but it was just the thought of something going wrong with her.
"Meaning Nessie isn't going to survive." I head Edward say.
I closed my eyes and balled up a fist full of Nessie's shirt. "Do not say anything else about Renesmee dying." I threatened, not taking my eyes off Nessie. "If you're stupid enough to let your daughter push you away, that's your choice. But she's pushed me away so many times that I'm not going to be able to handle it anymore. I had to wait this long to get her back-after she left on the day we were suppose to get married! I really don't want to be reminded like it's a big slap in the face that I could loose her again!" I shouted. Nessie moved but never woke up. I was practically shaking, but I refuse to leave my girl now. I'm her protector first. Everything else could come second.
"You of all people should understand what I'm going through. This is your grandchild for goodness sake! At least show something instead of letting Renesmee think that you hate her!" Everybody else fell silent as Edward and I glared at each other. Our looks dared us to say another thing.
"Has she hunted?" Esme asked, trying to sooth the tension between her son and the father of her great grandchild.
"She gets sick around the smell or sigh of blood." I told her, not looking away from Edward.
"Maybe-"
"She's going to puke it up. Try if you want but it won't work."
"She can't stand the smell of our scent either." Bella added, smoothing out Nessie's curls.
"So that cancels out vampire if things stay the same." Edward said. Wow. He's actually participating.
"How often is she sick?" Carlisle asked me.
"It use to be all the time, but now it seems to be slacking off a little-I hope. She's able to keep food down now. So most of the time it's random." I answered as if I was with her since the day she found out she was pregnant.
There was something else I wanted to say, but I couldn't remember it. "Oh! Yeah. She's fainted a few times."
"She's also forgetful." Bella murmured.
"She's forgot stuff before." Esme said.
"But this is her mind going blank. She can't remember the simplest thing. I've even did it." I admitted, looking back at my Renesmee. She was now scooted down and was snoozing on my lap. I realized that my hand was over hers as it laid across her stomach. I'm sure they all noticed but didn't say anything, and I didn't have to heart to move it away. And I didn't really want too.
Edward and Bella told Carlisle and Esme the rest. Most on how Nessie was jumpy, how she hit her head, how she's letting people walk all over her. Most of it was probably due to what's going in her head. She feels so guilty by what she's done that maybe she's just thought that by letting everybody push her around was her karma.
Carlisle decided to let Nessie sleep before examining her. I was about to call the guys to let them know I'll make it to La Push when I could get Nessie settled. "So why did that Akken leech some around?" I asked. He was lucky I wasn't there. I wouldn't have let him get away.
"Alice has been trying to look up but since Renemsee showed up, it all disappeared." Carlisle answered.
I honestly hoped that we would move until after the baby was born. I wished Edward could read my thoughts to know this because I was afraid to ask. The Cullen family has did so much for me. They helped me graduate high school, gave me an expensive car that I could never afford. They offered to pay my college tuition-and did not kill me. Yet. I've came out of my comfort zone. I've learned and did new things that I would have never thought I could do. I use to hate the Cullens but Nessie cleared that away.
"Do you think the Volturi would find out about the baby?" Bella asked as she ran her hand through Nessie's curls.
"Not unless Marcello and Akken met before hand." Edward answered. I hoped they didn't; but how Akken came by on my land seemed too suspicious.
We sat and watched Nessie sleep. We were worried about her and she knew that. She was a miracle. Maybe this baby would be too. Maybe this was what was gong to keep us bonded together.
I noticed Carlisle and Edward were having their own conversation. I heard Esme
upstairs. Bella was the only one who sat with us. She was looking at me, which only made me self-conscious.
"What?" I asked.
"Now you see why I said she needed you." Bella joked. "I had a feeling she was pregnant but I never really dreamed she would be.
"It was a suicide mission, but I'm glad you blackmailed me." I answered. Nessie made me run in circles but it was worth it for her to say that I was the one, that she needed me.
"How was it fighting a vampire alone?"
"Too easy." I lied. I wasn't about to admit that my mind was a million different places except on the fight. I had the guys telling me what to do, most of my focus was worrying about Nessie, and all I kept thinking was what if I was bit again.
"I think you two are going to make good parents. I'm still getting over the shock that's she's going to make me a grandmother this early."
"I didn't think I would become a father. At all."
Bella bit her lip and looked at Nessie. She was about to say something when Esme came back in the room. She motioned for me to bring Nessie upstairs. I picked her up gently, which only made Nessie wake up. She looked up at me with tired, heavy eyes.
"Good nap?" I asked.
"I feel like I could go back to sleep. What's going on? Where're we going?"
"I really have no clue."
"I set up a room so both of you could get some rest." Esme said. Somehow she knew what we were talking about. Maybe she just knew that Nessie would be nosy.
I stopped at Nessie's old room but Esme kept going and Nessie relaxed. I had no clue why she didn't want to go into her old room, but I never asked why. Having her here with me was better than going to a place where the memories came and hit me hard.
"Why did we pass my old room?" Nessie asked Esme as she leaned her head on my chest, sighing.
"Thought you deserved a room that fit a young woman instead of a teenage girl. For now at least." Esme laughed. I gave a raised eyebrow at Bella but she shook her head. Nessie just smiled.
"Is there something you need to tell me?" I asked.
"Everybody's debating on whether or not to build a bridge to the cottage or make a new path to it." Renesmee laughed.
"It was nice to have Bella's shield." Emse said, giving Nessie a look.
"Why?"
"Because you're acting just like you're father." Bella laughed. She's got a point.
"I can't help it if I have shield penetration that nobody thought to mention to me." Nessie shrugged. Yes, we didn't tell her. Or Bella and Edward told me not to say anything. She was looking older than we all thought she would be looking. It was freaking her out. So we all thought by telling her she has another gift would just freak her out some more.
We walked into a bedroom that on one side had a floor to ceiling glass wall. The other had a black, wooden four poster bed. I smelled the silk, satin sheets, pillows; and longed for that bed. I was exhausted, treading like a zombie. I slept before coming here, but I also woke up to Nessie's slightest movement.
"Let us know if you need anything." Bella said as her and Esme walked out the room, shutting the door. I made no motion to put Nessie down.
"You know I can walk." she yawned.
"Jet legged?" I asked. She should be.
"Yeah, a lil' bit."
I put her down, and of course, not to my surprise she stumbled. I caught her before she could fall.
"You're still half asleep." I told Nessie, bringing her closer to me. It felt like invisible hands were choking me. I turned my head and swallowed hard.
Nessie closed her eyes and nodded. "This room stinks." she mumbled.
"Do you-" I started but Nessie cut me off with a shake of her head.
"I have you." she said, wrapping her arms around my waist. "That's all I need." she added.
I wanted to tell her that I loved her but the words were stuck in my throat. I've told her plenty of times before, but this was different. She hurt me. It was something I can't easily forgive; and Nessie was making it hard for me to be cautious.
I realized I successfully ignored going into a raging fit when I got angry. Maybe if I didn't push the feeling and simply focused on other things, it might mean more time with Nessie.
"You probably have to phase, huh?" Nessie asked as she noticed the look on my face.
Just then, a howl went off. It wasn't the vampire on the land one, not the "hey, we got a new kid that phased" one. It was the "get your butt out here now" howl. I could even see three heads look at me through the glass wall.
"They want you out there. It's about me-and her." Renesmee showed me with tears in her eyes. She brought herself closer to me. I needed to be out there. I was Alpha. Adding along with Chief, imprinter, son, brother, uncle, and now father-or soon to be anyway. I don't know how I handled all those things.
"They can wait." I told her. They could. It wasn't like the world was going to end. They can give me just one more night where I was with Nessie and we were home. This all felt like a dream, and I really didn't want them to spoil it by waking me up.
"No-"
"I'm needed somewhere else right now. Since they did such a good job at letting a leech go, I think they can handle one more simple night without me." I sarcastically said, still angry at my pack for letting a leech go.
"Nessie shook her head. "You either go out or they'll come here."
"You want me to leave?" I asked, pretending to be hurt.
"I'm just telling you what their thinking." she mumbled, showing me the pack wasn't happy. And shockingly, I didn't care.
Just to show them that I wasn't going out there-at least not right now-I picked Nessie up and smashed my lips onto hers. She was surprised by the suddenness but eventually melted to my embrace.
I knew Embry, Paul, and some other wolf were close enough to hear me so I moved us closer to the glass wall and leaned her against it and never let my lips never leave hers. I Just hope our weight wouldn't make us crash though the wall.
Nessie wrapped her legs around my waist as I tried to get closer. I could feel her wince but she never pulled away. Reluctantly I did only to smirk at the three. I was Alpha. I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't need their permission to kiss the love of my life.
In the corner of my eye, I noticed Nessie was too amazed to notice what I was doing. She stared off into space, mouth open as a smile was trying to come up. I could hear Embry growl at me which only made me smirk some more.
I brought Nessie closer to me and brought up my hand to wave at them. "Night, fellas!" I told the three who looked confused. It was morning but it was all in the same. I drew curtains that were put all the way up so that it was completely dark in the room.
I moved to the bed and took off my shirt, plopping into the silk and satin sheets. I felt like I could sink down all the way to the floor. I waited for Nessie but all she did was stare at the wall then at me, putting her hand on her stomach.
"What was that?" she asked.
"Just saying good-night."
"It's morning."
"And…"
"I…" she trailed, dumbstruck.
"Come here." I told my Renesmee, opening up my arms as an invitation. Nessie slowly walked towards me and pulled back the covers. I pulled her in my arms as she laid her head on my chest and smiled.
"Does this feel like a dream now?" asked Nessie.
Sadly to me it did. "It still feels good to be home." I avoided. With her with me, anywhere was home.
"I've always been home." Nessie smiled, snuggling deeper into my arms. "But tomorrow you've got to handle the pack. I'm coming with you."
I had a feeling she would do this. "No. You're not."
"Yes I am."
"No! Think logically, Nessie. You're family hasn't seen you in a while."
"You haven't either! I practically killed you and you're wanting to be away from me!"
Is this what all this was about? She wants to make up for her mistakes. Maybe she was afraid I would leave her. I had a right too. I could be a jerk and walk away. But I didn't. I wasn't. I'm where I want to be.
"You'll be in the crossfire-"
"But this is my child too! I've got to be its voice!"
"You don't think that I won't? I really don't want the stress of them on me while we're here! What if they start something?"
"They can't hurt me." Nessie whispered.
They couldn't. She was an imprint. Them hurting her is the ultimate betrayal. It makes what Kaleb and Nessie did look like it was noting. They would take my life away. And I was Alpha. They couldn't go against me unless there was another rightful Alpha that I didn't know about. They would have to over power me. That wasn't going to happen. They weren't strong enough to do it. That would mean knocking down their leader. And when I fall, they do too.
"What if something happens like it did at Isle Esme. We won't be in the right state of mind." I had to keep making the excuses or I was going to give in.
"It won't. We'll tell Billy and Rachel together. We can explain that this baby is not as bad as they think it is. She can't help that she has a powerful daddy." Nessie pleaded.
I gave her a look. What makes her think I'm powerful? All I do is morph into a wolf and boss people around. Sometimes I even suck at that.
"You're a different leader than the others."
"Crazier too." I mumbled which made Nessie giggle. "But he also has a powerful mama, too."
Nessie just rolled her eyes. "I'm coming with you."
I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose in aggravation. I took a deep breath to calm down. I was doing perfectly fine and she was pushing it.
"No."
"Yes!"
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. "We'll see."
"Why don't you want me to come with you?" Nessie asked, looking at me with her brown eyes.
I should just go ahead and tell her the truth. They guys would walk all over her in the state she's in.
Nessie saw what I was thinking and nodded. She pulled her lips into a tight line and pulled away from my embrace. I could see the tears fall down her face. She was even letting me walk all over her. That's something she never let me do was win an argument. She always had the last word. She always won. I had to get to the bottom of why she's doing this.
I brought my hand up to Nessie's face, making her look at me. "Why are you crying?" I asked. Playing dumb just might actually get me answers.
"The damage I did. Everybody can hate me, but they have to give this baby a chance. I have to make sure of that."
This was why I loved her. She was going to make sure that our son and daughter had a chance. This was its family too. I could see Nessie's point on it. I just hoped it wouldn't imprint or be imprinted on. I would make sure of that.
I yawned and felt myself nodding off. I was half asleep and Nessie had me right where she wanted me.
"Fine." I breathed. I was such a sucker.
"Sleep, Jake. I'll be here. Don't worry about me leaving." she soothed, running her hand through my hair.
I wanted to say I love you. At least to try to think it but I was too far gone to do anything. It takes a lot to stay calm when all you see is rage. I felt like I should run but I was too far gone. And you know what? I didn't care.