Chapter 17
Nessie's point of view
"Will you quit?!" I told Abby as she tried to pull on the short, leather black, tight, cocktail dress. Did I mention the word short. It was definitely something that would make not just Seth but every other single male here mouth drop.
Today was Jared and Kim's wedding. Jacob and Leah-hopefully-brought Seth and I was bringing Abby. Neither knew that each other was going to be here-at least I hope not.
"I just feel so…exposed. I've never wore something this flaunting." Abby said sheepishly. Granted, I was making Abby come out of her comfort zone with the dress. She would never have dressed up like this. Not with the straight hair, the dark color makeup that made her blue eyes pop, and surely not this dress. It was a hard fight but I won in the end.
"You're not exposed. You look beautiful." I reassured her as we walked to where the ceremony would be held.
"Not compared to a gorgeous, pregnant half vampire." she grunted. Abby again attempted to pull the dress down which only made the top lower.
I looked down at my own dress. It was light baby pink with short, loose, caped sleeves. It was long and comfortable and that was just what I wanted.
"Not tonight. You're the gorgeous one. I couldn't fit in something like that now." I said as we started walking up to the chairs. I noticed Karli who gave me a thumbs up on the choice of outfit.
"Oh bull. Even though you got that baby bump, you still look like some freaking supermodel." Abby laughed then tripped. I caught her in time.
I spotted Jake and right next time him living but lifeless Seth. Abby groaned and tried to bolt but I stopped her. "You're going to leave your date?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nessie…" she whined. "You set me up. You know I can't do this."
"What makes you think I'm setting you up with Seth. I might be on the date with him." I laughed when I saw her face. She still loved him. The glare was the answer. "I'm kidding; but I know you can do it."
I walked over to Jake and Seth's isle when the two noticed us. I dragged reluctant and stumbling in high heals Abby over to our seats. Seth was smiling at her like a total geek. Jake could only shake his head and raise an eyebrow at me. I just shrugged and gave him a Who Me? look.
"Congrats, Abby. You've finally made Seth stop whining about being here. Good job." Jake joked. Abby tried to scoot out of seat but I growled at her. I sooo dare her to escape me.
"Ab-ab-Abby?" Seth stammered, leaning a little around me to get a better look.
"Told you we didn't have to do much." I showed Jacob. I heard him snort. The day after I got him into this, he claimed it wasn't right. I tricked him. He was right but I guess he decided that he couldn't take his brother being in pain anymore, because he was into this plan as much as Embry, Quil, just about everybody else was.
"You look beautiful." Jacob thought back. He wanted to lean over and give me a quick kiss but Seth was in the way.
"Mmm-hmmm." Abby answered Seth, not really looking at him.
"How did you get Abby to wear something that…sleazy." Jake thought.
"That use to be mine. Remember Spain? Last time I recalled you were even worse with Seth on the stammering."
"Oh."
"You-you-you…wow." Seth stammered even more. He almost fell out of his seat and on top of me if Jake didn't steady him.
Abby kept ignoring him so I kicked her leg. "Ow!" she jumped, rubbing her leg and glaring at me. I glared back at her. "Thanks." she mumbled to Seth.
Right before the ceremony started, Seth asked to trade places with me so he would be right next to Abby. I didn't mind but obviously Jake did. When I said it was fine he silently growled at Seth, daring him if he made one wrong move and hurt me it would be the last time he stammered ever again.
Abby reluctantly relaxed when Seth was settled next to her. She murmured an apology and he took her hand. I couldn't help but smile. Abby and Seth were perfect together.
As the ceremony began Jacob put his arm on the back of my chair, giving me a free invitation to lean into him. I scooted closer to him and laid my head against his shoulder. I willed myself not to look at him and pay attention to my wolf family but failed.
He looked amazing. White, button down shirt, dark colored jeans, bright eyes shining, smile…he was the gorgeous one. I remembered the comment he made when he told me he would where a shirt because he didn't feel like handling with girls slipping him their numbers. A pregnant chick gawking at him was going to be enough.
Finally Kim came walking down the isle. She was blushing as everybody looked at he with big eyes. She smiled at Jared who could only look at her. Her parents were crying. She smiled when she took Jared's and at the alter he whispered how beautiful she was.
As everybody was looking at Jared and Kim, Jacob was looking at me. "Pay attention." I jabbed his stomach with my elbow.
"It's hard to when I've got you right beside me. You're distracting me."
"Don't make this about me." I ordered.
I went back to looking at the about to be newlywed couple. They were saying their vows with expressions right out of a romantic movie. They promised each other that they would be together till both of them hit six foot under.
That was when something hit me like a ton of bricks. I went from being happy to completely meltdown upset. Guilt settled down at the bottom of my stomach so bad it made me sick. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to puke or pass out one.
"Are you okay?" Jake whispered, looking at me with concern. I shook my head yes quickly, biting back tears.
I wasn't okay. I was happy for my friends. They deserved all the happiness in the world. It was just looking at them made me realize that this could have easily been us-Jacob and I! If I never left then we would have gotten married! We wouldn't have as much troublr as we do now.
I wanted to marry Jacob. I didn't want to wait. I wanted it now as bad as I wanted to kiss him. We could be happily married like Jared and Kim. Like Sam and Emily. Like Rachel and Paul. Like all my family. I would be Mrs. Black and we would be waiting on our two precious babies.
I didn't realize everything was over until everybody started to stand. I felt guilty that I didn't pay attention and was only feeling sorry for myself. So I wiped the tears and self pity away and took a deep breath.
Jacob yelled out something that I could not understand. Probably in Quileute. Pretty soon Seth started howling and Paul added on. Sam also said something that made Jared blush. I wouldn't have thought anything of it if this didn't happen at Paul and Rachel and Emily and Sam were married.
Jared and Kim made it down the alter, both of them red in the face. Eventually they rounded the corner and disappeared.
"What was that about?" Abby asked, pulling away a strand on hair that blew in her face. I shrugged.
"It's a tradition." was all Seth could simply say as he sniggered.
"About?" I prompted.
"Just to make Jared get a little bit embarrassed." Jake said, wrapping his arms around me as we walked back to the cars. I could see Abby pull Seth off to the side and smiled.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I accused.
"Nope." was all Jacob was going to say. I wonder why he never taught me Quileute? As a matter of fact, I really didn't want to know.
Before we could fully walk away Kierra and Claire, dragging Quil behind her, came running to us. Jake picked both of them up with ease before they could tackle me to the ground.
"Easy, you two. Nessie is more of a klutz than normal." Jake said. I could easily hold them but Jacob thought I was a porcelain doll.
Over the past week, my relationship with my wolf family became better. Everybody apologized and gave a second chance when they saw about how serious I was with loving Jacob. Eventually even Rach came around.
"Because of the babies?" Kierra asked, pointing at my stomach.
"Yeah. We gotta be careful." Claire explained. I couldn't help but smile. Ever since Kyle and Leah started letting Kierra around us more, Claire's bonded with her. I think she likes it that their another young one around her age in the family. Even though both of them were-by age-older than me. Which sounds weird.
"Uncle Jake's just paranoid." I winked at them.
"Where's Sethey boy?" Quil asked, laughing.
"What do you think?" I joked, raising an eyebrow.
"Enough said." he thought.
While Quil and I were talking, I noticed Jacob was complete in zone on Claire's conversation. He would make jokes to get the to laugh. Listen to Kierra talk. It seemed he always showed equal attention to both of them even when they were talking over each other. He was ready for fatherhood. He's been ready. He just doesn't realize it.
Eventually Quil was able to peel the girls off of Jake and we were finally alone. We walked back to the cars when all of a sudden I tripped and fell. Jacob caught me in time but I could never get my balance back. He held onto me, waiting for me stand and walked. I gave up trying so he picked me up and carried me back to the car.
Here we go again
"Are you okay?" Jacob asked again but in a more serious tone.
I could have said something else. I could have lied to him and said that I was, or I could have told him the truth and we would be home and in Grandpa's office before I knew what was going on. But I didn't. "Why did you let me leave?" I blurted instead.
Jacob looked at me shocked as he never expected me to ask that. He should have anticipated it. "Because you wanted me too." he answered.
"You could have begged-"
"I did. You wouldn't have stayed even if I pointed a gun to my head to kill myself. I begged you, Nessie. You just ignored me."
"But maybe if I didn't leave things would be easier."
"Like you getting married to me while you betrayed me?" Jacob snapped. "You loved the other person. Not me."
Ouch.
"I would have grown up-"
"You would have ran. You run when things get hard. It's like ever since we had that threat of running off if the Volturi fought your family, you've had that in your brain. When things get ugly or hard, you run."
I bit back tears. It hurt but I was true. I ran before and Jacob was terrified I was going to run again. He was waiting for it. But he was wrong. I was not going to run.
"I can walk." I showed him.
"Ness-"
"You mean it. You're right. Blah, blah, blah. Now put me down." I ordered.
Jacob didn't listen to me and sat me down in the car. "I've learned not to listen to you." Jacob said, huskily with a wink.
I brought his lips up to mine and kissed him softly. He pulled away and bent down to kiss my stomach. "I love you." I heard Jacob say to my stomach. "The two of you and your crazy mama."
Grandpa said I should give birth around the spring if all goes according to plan. The thing was the twins could come early. With us not knowing what it was, it adds more danger.
"We love you too." I giggled. "Now while everybody is dancing and drinking, having a good time, the pregnant chick needs to eat."
Jake laughed. "Yes, master." he joked.
Jacob brought his lips up to mine and smiled. I was happy for Jared and Kim. I just regret what I did; but tonight was not going to be about me making up for my mistakes. Nope. Not going to happen.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
I laughed at Jacob as him and Rachel was dancing. Not just because he was funny-and sexy-while he danced, but it just felt good to laugh.
Abby and Seth made up and was glued to each other's side. The last time I checked they were.
Jared and Kim did their first dance which was so cute. They fed each other cake, toasted, Jake got his face smashed in a plate of food thanks for Jared. All he said was that it was payback for the ceremony. Everybody was in a good mood. Especially my Jacob. I had no clue if it was because of champagne of because he could actually relax.
I sat beside Paul who was holding Will, Emily, and Sam with Channing, Quil, and Claire. I, of course, was stuffing food in my face. The guys were shocked that I could probably eat more than them.
"It must be nice to eat all you want and not gain any weight." Emily joked, nudging my shoulder. I just blushed.
"It would be too late to worry about my weight now with all that I've been eating.
They were a lot of people on the dance floor. The reception was held at a secluded part of the beach thanks to Jake's doing, and we were underneath a gigantic tent. Out of all the people, the one who stood out the most was Jacob. He had his shirt untucked and a few buttons were undone. He was a sight worth looking at as he danced with his sister to an upbeat song. Rachel was laughing and sweating, completely trying to keep up with Jake Both were having a good time since they were both missing the two people they lost. Rachel's smile was huge and Jake's eyes shined the brightest.
"Enjoy it. The sleep, the eating, the pampering. It'll all be gone when you have those two little ones to chase after. Oh, and be warned. If one of them is a girl, be prepared to being forget out. She'll be the apple of Jake's eye." Emily asked, directing the last part to Sam.
He didn't hear his wife's dig, only having eyes on his daughter as she played with the tie on his suit and trying to speak. He kept trying to get her to say da-da. I smiled. Sam devoted himself to his family. Emily and Channing was his life. Before, he was terrified becoming a father. He was scared he would hurt Channing like he did Emily. She even said that he wouldn't touch Channing the first month since she was born. He never acted like it. I could only imagine it when she was older. Sam's going to have a heart attack.
"I think he wouldn't even know if you fell over dead, Em." Quil joked.
"What?" He obviously heard that.
"I said that if Nessie had a girl, she would be bumped down like you did me." Emily said slowly as if Sam couldn't understand English.
"Oh." Sam said, shrugging. Emily popped him on the shoulder. Sam then turned to me. "Warn Jake that when your daughter's not even a year old yet, she'll flirt!"
We all laughed when Channing was trying to play shy with Quil She would cut her eyes with anyone. It was cute to us, be Sam being overprotective father hated it.
"Don't worry, Emily. Will's a Momma's boy so I got bumped. She probably barely remembers my name." Paul mentioned. His eyes lightened up when William cooed in his arms. To me he looked just like Paul. Rachel said not to say anything because it gives him the big head.
"Want to go make Jake jealous?" Paul thought to me.
"What about Rachel?"
"That's my point. She won't dance with me. It took a lot of drinks and begs from Jake to get her out there now."
I laughed. I didn't feel like dancing. Especially to something this quick. I agreed to it anyway just to see my Jacob jealous and to help Paul out. Jacob would have easily let Paul dance with his wife but what fun would that have been?
Paul handed Will of to Emily and I took his arm. "I really don't want to start anything." I told him as we walked to the dance floor.
"Too late now." he answered
"I…"
"I'm kidding. Rachel won't care. Jake will though. So if he takes a swing at me, please protect me."
I stopped again, shaking my head. Paul pulled me back to the dance floor. "Relax. I'm just kidding. Again."
We were getting close to Jacob and Rachel now. I could see as Jacob was turning her, she stumbled on her own bare feet and gripped Jacob to keep from falling, letting out a loud laugh that I knew the sophisticated Rachel would have never released. I saw Paul wince but recovered when we were getting close.
"Watch this. Since Kaleb can't get under Alpha Almighty's skin, his brother-in-law gets his rightful position back" Paul said with pride. We passed by Jake and Paul "accidentally" bumped into Jacob's shoulder. Paul pulled me closer to his arm, not in a romantic way of course. "Oh, sorry. Jake, right? Is it okay if I dance with your baby mama? Good? Thanks."
Paul dragged us away and I could feel Jacob's eyes bore into our backs as we started to dance, at a much slower pace though. I knew the steps in the back of my mind so it was easier to look at Jake.
As we were dancing, a smile broke out onto my lips and I laughed. I was having fun. I was making Jacob jealous. I completely forgot about everything and just focused on the bright sky and trusting Paul to not let me fall.
"Sorry I gave you a hard time when you came back. I should have understood with what I went through with Rachel. Jake's right. Even if she waited as long as you did, if she was pregnant with Will at the time, I would have took back her in." Paul thought.
"I deserved it." I projected.
"Now while you're pregnant. I can see why Jake did what he did. I don't blame him for choosing what he chose. He handled it a lot better than I would have."
I bit my lip and looked at Jacob. He was focusing on not letting Rachel slip but also on me. "Well, when I have these two you can go back to hating me."
Paul laughed as we turned to see Jacob take deep breaths to keep calm. Rachel was all smiles and trying to get Jake to talk to her so I guess Paul was out of luck.
"Uh oh." I said as Jacob plopped Rachel down in a seat and strode over to me.
"Here he comes." Paul said. We stopped dancing just as Jacob walked up to us.
"Sorry to interrupt, but could I dance with my girlfriend?" Jake asked as he stepped between Paul and I.
"By all means go ahead. I'll see if my wife's drunk enough to finally dance with me." Paul said, laughing.
"Trust me, she is. But I don't think she'll want to put up second rate." Jacob joked, playfully shoving Paul. He shoved back then walked off to Rachel.
A slow song started to play when Jacob pulled me to him. "May I have this dance, Miss Cullen?" Jake asked as he brought my hand to his shoulder and placed his hand on my back. I didn't feel like dancing but Jacob's smile made me say yes.
I leaned my hand against his shoulder as Jacob whispered the words of the song in my ear. I relaxed and closed my eyes, ignoring everything that was out in the real world. I pretended that it was just us and the real world was miles and miles away.
"Can I ask you something?" my Jacob whispered in my ear.
"You don't even have to ask." I smiled at him.
"Um…could we…Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday and Thanksgiving was Becca's, so maybe…"Jake trailed so I finished for him.
"You want to go to your mother and sister's grave." I told Jake and he nodded. "You don't have to ask me, my Jacob. It is perfectly okay with me. You should do it."
I kissed Jacob on the cheek. He looked at me with serious eyes. "Only if you're up to it." he said. He had a point. This would be the first holiday since I was attacked.
"Don't worry about me."
Jacob gave me a look. "Don't say that."
"I'm fine, Jake. Trust me. I'll be okay."
"For how long? How long till something changes and I loose you again? We can't hardly see them! We-we don't know what they are, and again, you're carrying twins! It's even more dangerous! I-I can't loose you." Jacob said, his eyes upset.
"I'm going to be okay, my love. I'm not giving up. Not on us or our babies. I have so much to loose now. You're stuck with me, Mr. Black." I brought my lips to Jake's and kissed him softly. "I love you."
We danced a few more songs until my feet started to ache. Jacob and I walked over to the seats and I saw down with a huff. Jacob kneeled next to me as I took off my shoes, sighing in relief. Eventually Jake went back to being in a good mood. He joked and laughed but he stayed glued to me. I told him to go and enjoy himself but he wouldn't budge.
I looked around for Seth and Abby but they were nowhere to be seen. "Where's Abby and Seth?" I asked.
"Making out-I mean making up." Jacob laughed. I shook my head but it was probably true.
"Jerk." I laughed.
"Is that why you love me?"
"Nope."
"Then why, my beautiful?" Jacob moved his face closer to mine, teasing me into kissing him. My heart fluttered as his lips were close to mine.
"Are you drunk?" I avoided. My answer on why I loved him was too sappy. I wanted to avoid being called emotional this early.
"Over one-hundred percent sober. I can't be in a good mood?" Jacob couldn't see that I was really wanting to have this conversation in private?
"You can. You're just over complimenting me." I flirted, batting my eyelashes. Jacob smiled like an idiot.
"You don't hear it enough." he joked as he kissed my neck. I pushed him away and shook my head. "I can't kiss you?"
"No," I giggled, "not like that."
"Fine." he grumbled, turning away from me. Jake crossed his arms over his chest and pretended to pout. I looked away laughing, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that I saw Jake glance my way. He was waiting for me to break and I was waiting for him. What? They say love's a game.
I head the DJ call for all the unmarried women to come to the center of the dance floor for the bouquet toss. I was too tired to get up and Jacob didn't make me move. We were off in our own world, waiting for the one of us to break down and speak.
"Come on, Nessie." Karli said as she tried to get me out of my chair.
"I'm in a relationship!" I stated. I had to use any possible excuse to get out of this.
"You're not married though." she pressed. Really?
"She won't stop until you go, Ness, so you might as well do it." Jacob shrugged to me. I looked at him shocked. Normally when I didn't feel up to doing anything, he would side with me. It's really kicked into high gear now that I'm pregnant. He thought I was glass. I swear, if I didn't know better, I would actually thought he was drunk.
"No! The end." I stated to the both of them. They were not going to make me get up.
"It'll be fun." Jacob said, getting me to stand up.
I growled at him then turned into the whole pity, I don't want to do this look. "No it won't." I whined, looking at him from under my eyelashes to make myself look innocent.
"Yes it will. They say if you catch the bouquet then you'll get married." Abby said, suddenly appearing as she helped Karli drag me to the dance floor. Reluctantly I let them. I could actually tear their arms off but I really didn't feel like fighting with people.
Might as well get this flipping thing over with.
I waited in the back. There was a bunch of girls in front of me, squealing, waiting anxiously for Kim throw the stupid flowers that they'll forget to put in water and die the next day. I had no intentions of trying to get my pregnant self in the middle of all that. I didn't feel like it.
I heard several shouts and screeches from in front of me and sighed. That was just a superstition. The girl catching the bride's bouquet and then she'll get married sometime in the near future. No matter how bad I wanted to marry Jacob, we weren't ready. No matter how bad I wish we were.
I felt something hit my chest and fall into my hands. I looked down to see the wedding flowers right in my hands. The same stupid flowers I was trying not to catch. Just my luck. You've got to be freaking kidding me!
"Here." I said, throwing them to the side where they laid in Rachel's hands.
She loosely threw them back at me. "I'm already married. Sorry." Rachel giggled/slurred. I pity Paul.
I trudged back to Jacob, who was standing by Seth, gripping those flowers. Jake looked smug and my hand tightened around them, about to hit him in the face with them. I noticed Seth's hair looked a little messy and he had lipstick on his cheek.
"Seth? Is that lipstick?" I asked. Both him and Abby blushed.
"Aww…do you want big sissy to wipe it off." Leah joked as she liked her thumb and started wiping it away.
"No." Seth mumbled, slapping away his sister's hand.
"The kid's growing up. I can remember when he was just a slow, weird, fifteen year old. Oh wait! You're still that. Sorry. I forgot." Jacob joked, laughing.
"You're sixteen and about to be a father!" Seth shot back.
I was tired of this age argument already. "Okay! We get it! Technically both of you are eighteen and twenty! I'm three! Yes, we're kinda having kids early; but I think we've gotten past the point on that age doesn't matter!" I yelled, getting aggravated.
"Somebody's moody." Abby mumbled to Leah. I shot her a glare.
Jacob wrapped his arm around me and brought his face close to my ear. "Looks like I'm going to have to catch that garter, huh? Don't want anybody thinking they have a chance with my girl?" Jake whispered, his breath warm against my cheek. I think I forgot how to breathe. Good thing I really don't need too.
"You're girl? Don't you think that is kind of possessive?" I projected, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope. You're mine. I've marked you so deal with it." Jake thought, brushing his hand against mine and walked off. Thank God I'm half vampire.
While the other's guys waited, joking who was going to get it, Jake smiled my favorite grin at me. He knows that his smile always sends me to my knees. You can call it pregnancy hormones or whatever you want, but I'm beginning to think that I was in love with him more now than I ever was.
Jared threw the garter and Jacob easily reached up to get it. His stature was huge so most human guys were terrified. Until somebody pushed him out the way. He hit the ground hard and glared at the idiot who pushed.
I was frozen as I saw who it was. He looked up at me with a crooked smile. I thought I wouldn't have to see him again. He wasn't any help with my confused heart. He was going to imprint on my daughter. He had strange, cobalt blue eyes. He swore he loved me but then he left. I chose him over Jacob. I regretted what I did with him. I swore I would never cry over him again, but tears pricked my eyes. Everything finally felt complete and that was what I was ashamed of.
"Hey, gorgeous. What? No hug?" I saw Kaleb say as he walked over to me. I didn't bother going to his out stretched arms. I could only clutch my stomach and shrink back to Sam. He had a deep uncomfortable look on his face, but brought Emily closer to him and took a protective stance in front of me. My eyes could only look at Jacob's who was in rage. The whole place was quiet and it seemed like they were all starring at me.
Jacob got over and rushed over to us, yanking me closer to him. I winced at the pressure and the quickness made me sick. Jacob's face shown that he was calm but on the inside he was furious.
"Jake-" Sam started but I shook my head no.
"I heart you quit while I was away. Didn't like the fact that Nessie was going to always choose me in the out come. That you can't break a-" Jake snapped but I cut him off.
"Jake, no." I weakly mumbled, putting a hand on Jacob's chest.
"Just this life isn't for me. It has nothing to do with Nessie." Kaleb shrugged as if I wasn't here.
"Oh, bull! We know you think coming to you're brother's wedding will make Nessie dump Jake for you!" Embry yelled, taking a step forward but Jake stopped him.
"Nope. Just was wanting to dance with the girl that was also at fault." Kabe nonchalantly shrugged.
All of a sudden Jake lunged at Kaleb but Quil and Seth stopped him. "You're not taking her from me." he growled.
I pushed back next to Abby, instantly getting upset and feeling Jacob's connection with me. He was angry. Angry at his pack. Angry at Kaleb. Angry at me. It made my chest hurt.
"Leave, Kaleb. We were all having fun until you showed up." Kyle said with venom in his voice.
Tears pricked my eyes even more as I saw Kim's thoughts. She was having a good time and I ruined it. "No." I finally found my voice which was cracked with tears. Jacob looked at me in disbelief.
I turned to Kaleb. "If you want to have the one and only dance with me then let's just get it over with." I said, trying to make my voice strong.
"Fine by me." Kaleb struggled to say. I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the dance floor. It my disappointment, a love song played. Kaleb had a shrug smile. He tried to hold me close but eventually gave up. "So you're pregnant?"
I looked up at him, his face blurring together. "With twins." I showed him.
"And you weren't planning on telling me? Gosh, Ness. I'm extremely hurt." Kaleb had that cocky look on his face that I could feel Jacob wanting to wipe off his face.
"Their not yours. Jacob's is the father."
"You sure?"
"Prom." was all I projected.
"You can't even give me one chance. Jacob doesn't want you. He's forced to love you. Give me the chance that I've begged you to give me. That creepy connection you have with him, it's nothing. It's pathetic. He doesn't want you or those kids."
I refused to cry in front of Kaleb. I wasn't going to. "I gave you that chance. That chance was the worse mistake of my life. You can't give me the life I want. Only Jacob can; and he loves me and our twins. We can be friends but that's all that it is going to be." I stated, my voice wavering.
"It's amazing how everybody hates me but loves you! Remember, Miss Cullen, that this was your fault too! You should have ignored me! You have before! Don't forget about that." Kaleb growled, shaking me. He held me tight and I stifled a cry of pain. If I could hunt, I could be stronger. For me, for my babies, for my Jacob. But I was weak, and it was only going to get worse.
"Let go of me." I whispered. He didn't so I yanked away from him. I noticed Jacob was struggling against Sam's hold.
I stood there, the room starting to sway around me. I blinked a few times but it wasn't helping. I was about to loose it. But instead of running to my safety blanket, I turned and ran away.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
Jacob's point of view:
I thought I had a grip of controlling that raging feeling. I thought tonight would have been good. Yeah, my sister's drunk but other than that everything was going good. I had Nessie. I had my family and friends. Nothing could-or would-go wrong. Until that damn garter toss. I heard that if you catch the garter, you'll marry the girl who caught the bride's bouquet. I had to make sure I caught it.
I guess I didn't try hard enough.
I wanted to kill the stupid idiot the minute I saw him. I could see the look in Nessie's eyes. I wanted to run to her but rip Kaleb apart.
I hated I couldn't hear part of her conversation. I hated I couldn't stop the dance because of Sam. Kaleb was playing with her mind. I could feel it. She was about to break down. I was about to go crazy when he yanked her. She wasn't some freaking rag doll! I want to kill him!
I saw Nessie stumble away and ripped out of Sam's hold. I stormed over to Kaleb, my vision red. I grabbed him by the neck and brought him close to my face. He was trembling, but not as bad as I was. I wanted to kill him like he was a leech. Phase, rip him into shreds, and then watch him burn. Is that too much to ask?
"I SWEAR, NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT TO MY RENESMEE, I WILL RIP YOU APART BIT BY BIT AND NOT HAVE ONE OUNCE OF REGRET WHEN I DO IT!" I yelled, my hands crushing his neck. I got that sickening, choking feeling again. Since I couldn't phase, I brought my fist back and punched him a few good times until all I could see was blood on his face and his head roll back limp.
As I dropped his body to the ground, everybody was quiet. Some were shocked that the great chief Jacob had a temper. Other's expected it. I felt a pang of guilt as I saw Jared and Kim's face. We were all having fun and then this happens. All I could really do was give them an apologetic smile and hope they understand.
Now. I needed to find my Renesmee.
I ran though the crowd, sand, and then the parking lot, knowing my pull to her was guiding me to where she was. I found her right behind my car curled up in a ball. I could tell she threw up and that she was crying. Being near the twins made the feeling worse but I just have to deal with it.
"I'm sorry." Nessie projected to me.
"Don't be. It was-"
"Do not say that it wasn't my fault. Everything about this freaking situation is my fault. You're forced to love me! I should have never went to him! Then and now. The End." she spat.
I brushed some of her curls away from her face that came loose from her bun. "Okay." was all I said. "I love you. Believe it or now, but I do."
Nessie turned her gaze away from me and somewhere off. She was miles away but still right on Earth with me. "You were right. We should have never come." Nessie whispered.
"I had a fun time. I know Rachel did. How much do you want to bet she thought all of that was funny?" I thought, attempting to get a laugh out of her-which I did.
"She had too much fun." she said, wiping her eyes and giving a wet laugh.
"Abby and Seth got together." I pointed out as I moved her closer to my crouching position. I got her off the cold ground and put a hand on her little bump despite all my fears. "And they got to dance with their uncle Paul."
"And their daddy."
Nessie and I smiled at the same time but hers then faltered. "What?" I asked worried.
Nessie shook herself and looked at me confused. "I was just thinking about how beautiful the wedding was."
It was a lie. For some reason I could sense it. Before, it just seemed like I knew her well. Now it seems like I know her too well. Like we were one person. There was stories about this but it can't be how we are. We were different.
"Until the last part." I told her and she laughed slightly.
Renesmee looked up at me, her fingers tracing my jawbone leaving sparks from her touches. She looked like she wanted to ask me something but was terrified too. I wondered why? I wanted her to feel like she could trust me. She never has and all I wanted was for her to now. I'm becoming less cautious by the second. I'm falling in love with her hard. If she hurts me again, I'll be far beyond repair.
"Do you hate me?" Ness blurted. "For dancing with him? For…everything?"
I debated it. I didn't hate her. It was more like what she done. For lying to me, for betraying me, for hurting me, for me running circles just to get simple answers, for putting herself at risk. I was hurt by it. Betrayed. Deeply betrayed. Most could call it hate but I didn't. I don't think we could really hate our imprints. Even when they're sometimes in the wrong, we seem to blame ourselves. I can get mad at her, angry at her, but not enough to hate her. Even if I did leave that night on Isle Emse, I would still love her. I would always love her. I didn't have a choice at it, but I still chose her. It was the best choice I didn't make.
"No." I answered. He's gotten in her head. I know it! "What did he say to you?!" I took deep breaths to calm down. Getting angry wouldn't do any good for the both of us.
"The same ole, same ole." she shrugged.
"What did you say?" I stupidly thought, but wanted to hear her answer anyway.
"Choosing him was the second of my regrets. My first one was hurting you. I love you." she projected, laying her head against mine. "You're the center of my world."
"Only me? What about the babies?" I smiled.
Again, Renesmee looked down at her stomach and smiled. "Them too." she giggled when all of a sudden her face went blank and she looked down.
"Ness?"
"Um…I forgot what I was about to say." I had a feeling that there was more to this story. She had a mind blank. Thank God this one wasn't major.
"You're so dingy." I joked, mostly for my behalf. I couldn't let myself think about that right now. This was suppose to be a good night. It was-until a few minutes ago, but we've been know to make the best out of bad situations. I could look at this way. Nessie was so cute when she had a dingy moment. That sounds like a good excuse, huh?
I heard a song play and smiled. I stood up and turned to her. "You know, you could give me more than just a few dances."
"Is that your way of asking me to dance, mutt?"
"Whatever you want it to be, bloodsucker."
We both laughed at the nicknames our families have called each other for God knows how long. To us they don't mean a thing. We were more than just bloodsucker and mutt.
"I'm not in the same condition as you're lovely sister's in; but yes I want it to be an invitation. So yes, I will dance with you." Nessie stood up and put her hand on my shoulder and I put my hand on her back to pull her close to me. My skin shivered at the feeling of not phasing, but I saw Nessie smile so the pain was way worth it.
Nessie took her head and laid it on my chest, and I propped my chin up on her head. "But I love they way you love me. Strong and wild. Slow and easy. Heart and soul-so completely. I love the way you love me." Renesmee whispered in my chest. I bent down to kiss her.
It seemed I would be the one to pull back due to the painful feeling, but she did. I could only look at her. She knows how bad I want my mom and sister here. I had no clue how I did get myself into going to see them, but it was time I did. I just knew I had to get Nessie to make me go or I would back out. I'm that chicken. I can fight a vampire but I'll get out of going to see my dead mother and sister. Sad isn't it?
Nessie saw the look on my face and put her hand on my cheek. "It'll be okay." she promised.
"I know." I smiled.
"I'm happy you had a good time. You needed it."
I did. I needed a time where I can be Jacob Black. Not Chief, or Alpha, or whatever else they call me. I loved how I was off in my own world where I could write my own story. Where the game of life did draw me back and remind me that it controls everything. I could be the hero with ease. I could be everywhere and everything. My dream land with my dream girl in my dream life. Reality was crueler than that. I wish it would never set back in.
Nessie wrapped her arms around my waist and I sucked in a breath. I hated this feeling. I felt weak. "Go phase. I'll spend the night at the house. Rosalie wants to spend time with me anyway." she said backing away.
Rosalie finally got over her little "mood" and was now trying to be there for her. When I gave her the chance. I've seen with Bella's pregnancy that she wanted a baby so bad. I don't think she would hope Nessie would die just so she would get that dream, but I didn't trust her. Hate me, but it was just instinct to protect my girl from any danger.
"I will in a few hours." I said, trying to pull her back to me. She gave me a look. "Let me at least have some alone time with you first. We've rarely had it since we got back."
"I…I don't want to see you hurting." she mumbled.
"If it makes you feel better I'll let you drive and I'll rest."
Nessie bit the inside of her cheek and rocked back and forth on her heels. "I'm not really ready to leave. Or go home at least." she smiled, making my heart beat go faster.
"You think they're going to let us back in?"
"Maybe not, but maybe we could take a quick drive. Go to the meadow."
"My control on having two legs instead of four isn't that good, beautiful. And even if I did take you to the meadow, you won't be riding on my back."
"I'll be safe."
"No. That's the end." I growled, taking that little itch and scratching it. I could see and feel the hurt and wanted to slap myself. "Come on." I stuck out my hand for her to take and she did.
We started walking further down the beach. Away from Kaleb. Away from everybody. While I was completely in balance in walking on sand, Nessie wasn't. I forgot that she was different now that she was pregnant. I was so use to the graceful tree monkey who rarely fell. She was half vampire. But the worn look, the tired expression, and the dark circles under her eyes were constant reminders that right now she needed blood more than food. I wonder when she'll loose her appetite for human food all together. She does that when she hasn't hunted in a while. If she does that now then she'll be even more weaker.
"Where are we going?' Nessie asked after a while of silence. I slowed down to let her get her balance. I knew she wouldn't want me to carry her. Miss Independent.
I stopped at an old cypress log that Bella and I found a long time ago. Call me a bad boyfriend but Nessie was able to sit down and relax. I also chose it because it was close to the woods.
Before I could be able to sit her up there, she plopped down on the sand. She leaned back against the top and sighed, stretching out her long legs and scooted down. "What?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Sometimes you amaze me." I told her, laying down all the way in the sane. It felt good to only hear our heartbeats, the ocean, the wind blowing, and not Kaleb's voice.
"You know, pretty soon we'll have to figure out baby names." Nessie said, looking up at the surprisingly clear sky.
"Thought of any?" I asked. It seemed unrealistic that we've been together for a weak and we're talking about baby names. I knew that there was no way we could take it slow but aren't we going a little too fast?
"I kind of like Charles Edward for a boy." she said. It sounded pretty good; but I mean she's three months. We found out a week ago that we were having twins. We just got back together. Can't we just slow down to accept this.
And she just heard everything I thought.
"And that's all I've got. Next conversation." Nessie showed me.
I bit my lip. I am such a good boyfriend. I can easily hurt my pregnant girlfriend's feeling.
"Um…" I laughed.
"Nothing?"
"Nope."
"Useless." Nessie laughed.
I gave her a look. "Thanks a lot."
"You are wonderfully welcome."
I reached over and poked Nessie in the side. She squealed then jumped, slapping me across the chest. I started laughing, see the expression on her face. My sides were hurting and tears were blurring my vision from laughing so hard.
"It's not funny!" Nessie's projection blared in my mind.
"Yes it is." I laughed.
"Oh shut up."
"Sorry, babe, but you're stuck with me." I tried to say between laughs.
"For how long?" Renesmee asked as I calmed down.
"Normally I would say as long as you want me but that back fired in my face so…"
Nessie turned her head and shot me a hurtful expression. I didn't realize what I said until that look. Before I could have said anything she turned away to look at the ocean.
"Ness…"
"Shutup."
"Nessie?"
"Leave me alone!" she shouted. I reached out to touch her shoulder but she shoved me away. "If you want to go slow then hand me your keys and I'll drive myself home."
"Baby-" I tried to turn her but she yelled at me again. I gave up and growled in a painful way, hitting the log. It moved which made Nessie plop into the sand.
"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean it like that-"
"Oh, yes you did!"
"Fine! It came out wrong!" I shouted.
"No it didn't!"
"Then you heard it wrong!"
"I think I heard it perfectly clear!"
I was getting angry now. Well, angrier. It was getting hard to breathe. I felt pain flash all across my body. I had to get away from this aggravating woman or I was going to hurt her.
"Jake?" Nessie asked warily. Oh, so now she wants to be nice to me.
"Jacob, you're scarring me." she said again. She should know how I feel on the inside.
"Sh-shutup." I growled. I stood up and tried to walked away but my connection with stubbornness wanted me to turn around.
Eventually I had to run away but the pain was too much to stand. I should have left while I had the chance. I dropped to the ground, gasping in pain. It was horrible. I would rather be bit than go through this again. Normally I would ignore the gigantic itch but when it was this bad, I couldn't resist. Like Nessie.
I got on my hands and knees, feeling tears fall down my cheeks. Black spots crowed my red, hazy vision. I could feel the blood drip from my nose and ears and hit the ground. I was so tempted to inflict pain on me just to make this go away.
"Jacob!" Nessie shouted right in my ear-or so I think she did. That only made things worse.
"Go away!" I thought because I couldn't do much talking.
"No."
"YES!"
"But you need me-" Nessie's voice was cut out by my string of cuss words.
"I. Don't. Want. You." I growled, barring myself to attack this thing in front of me. I smelt vampire. If only I could phase.
"Let me know when you want me." she showed me then got up.
When she was far away I phased and sighed. My mind cleared and I sighed in relief. There goes what was left of our night. I decided to give up time to calm down. I saw Kaleb's mind but we never acknowledge each other.
Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I had to phase. I had to check on my Renesmee. I just couldn't get the will to change back, and my clothes were ripped to shreds when I phased. I'm sure people wouldn't want to see me naked.
"Nice going, hot shot. But I saw her by an old cypress log. Leah's down there with her." Kaleb thought. My first instinct was to find where he was and kill him some more, but what distracted me was Leah. She-like many-were going to kill me.
I ran to where they were, seeing Nessie asleep on Leah's shoulder. Leah had discomfort all on her face but generally ignored it-or tried too. It was like she was begging me to come and be with Renesmee while she phased.
Nessie stirred and mumbled my name. I whined and was about to say heck with it and phase when Leah got up and ran to me. Nessie was still in a daze but had her eyes open.
"Took some shorts from Kyle. You'd probably be comfortable in wolf form; but she needs you." Leah said, throwing down a pair of shorts which I easily caught in my teeth. I must have been gone longer than I thought because she was in regular clothes.
I phased, putting them on, and not caring if Leah saw me or not. I need to see her. I need to be with her. This was worse than not phasing.
"Is everything over with?"
"For about four hours. After you went after Nessie, Kyle picked up Kaleb and dragged him out. Scared Kierra like crazy." A pang of guilt washed over me. I did that in front of kids. What if my two were there? "And then I went back with Nessie to wait for you." Leah continued.
It was obvious Nessie didn't leave. More hair fell out of her bun and she was still in her dress with sand all over it. "Thanks for staying with her. I thought she would go home." I mumbled.
"I told her that it was better but she insisted that she stay." Leah told me. "I think she's not going to run anymore."
"How?" What did Leah know?!
"Because you've now got two creatures to bride her with. She said she's terrified you'll run."
Me leave Nessie? Only if somebody drags me away. Did Kaleb get inside her head? She actually thinks I'll leave. She's changed.
"Nessie's a lot different. I don't know if it's because of her pregnancy or being away from you, but she has zero fire. As both of your friend, I'm going to say this. Don't screw it up. Both of you are each other's life line; and if she dies-"
"I know! It'll be my fault! I'm the one that got her pregnant! I'm the one that's letting her keep it! I'm the one connected to her! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard the criticism and you're not that big of a help." I snapped.
"I was going to say then you die, but we can go with that if you want."
"Shutup, Leah." I mumbled then walked off until Leah called after me.
I turned around. "You're going to be a great dad. If that makes you feel better. Those two are going to be spoiled." Leah said then took off into the woods.
I sprinted to Nessie who was still in her half asleep daze. I crouched down in front of her and put my fingers to make Nessie look at me. "I need you. Now. Right now." I whispered.
Nessie blinked her eyes a few times then focused on me. She projected me an image of how tired I looked. All I cared about right now was to bring my lips close to hers. She turned her face right before mine touched hers. I sat back on my heals and bit my lip.
"Don't do this." I begged. "I'm so sorry for what happen."
"We both overreacted. It happens." she yawned.
"Why did you stay?"
"Because I hoped you would come back." Hope. Such a small word but had a big meaning. It seems that's the only word we know right now.
"Were you go, I go. I made a promise to you a long time ago that I would always come back to you." I told her, brushing a strand of curls behind her ear.
Nessie's weight crashed against me, taking me by surprise. We landed into the sand but I didn't let go of her. I wanted her here. I didn't want her to go away. I needed her.
"I'm not going anywhere. For as long as you'll need me, I'll be here." Renesmee said, wiping my eyes. I didn't realize I was crying. I didn't like it.
"Then you might as well say good-bye to leaving because I'll always need you." I said, kissing her forehead. "And I like Charles Edward. It'll make Bella happy."
Nessie smiled and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry I argued with you." she whispered.
"Don't worry about it."
I put my hand on her and pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her gently-partly because I didn't want to hurt her, and partly because she was still half asleep.
"I heard Paul had to carry Rachel. Thankfully Will sleeps through the night." Nessie smiled and I rolled my eyes. My sister had a lot of things going on. Okay, by a lot it was missing my mom and sister.
"Paul has his hands full." I said.
"What about me?" she blinked her eyes at me with a tempting stare.
"I wouldn't have you any other way. I love it when my life's not boring." I brought my lips again to hers and kissed her. Right now the real world was slipping back in but I didn't care. I can easily slip right back out.