Chapter 18
Jacob's point of view
Christmas Eve…
I finally got brave enough to take Renesmee to our meadow. Since she was six months pregnant, I didn't even want to risk it with the idea of her on my back. She was like my porcelain doll and I wanted to make sure she was okay.
Six months…it was weird that in three more months I would welcome my now founded out son and daughter. We were lucky that we could see the sex of the twins. It was nerve racking when we found out. I'm going to stop doubting Esme; but I didn't know who was more excited. Us or our families.
"I'm glad you finally decided to bring me." Nessie said, holding my hand and laying her other on her big stomach.
I rolled my eyes. Nessie looked beautiful before but now she was even more. She hated it when Alice took her shopping for bigger clothes. She wasn't use to buying anything bigger than normal. Or even eating everything in sight. Alice complained that Nessie wanted at every restaurant they passed.
"It feels weird that I'm fat but it's not because I choose to be." Nessis joked.
"You're still beautiful" I told her, kissing her temple. I bent down to kiss her stomach and looked up at her. Her skin was even more white than alabaster. Her face was blank. Before I could even open my mouth, she fell to the ground.
"Nessie!" I shouted, shaking her. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started shaking. "Carlisle!" I shouted again, but no one came.
Nessie's words came out gargled and she quit breathing. Blood pored from everywhere, including her stomach. I put my hands the spots to try and slow it down but it wasn't doing any good. All it accomplished was her blood on me.
I heard a child giggle and snapped my head up. They were several shades lighter than me, but still kept the tan look to them. They had jet black hair but Nessie's curls. The boy had my eyes but the girls were different. I didn't see well enough, only paying attention to the blood on them. Nessie's blood.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!" I shouted, shaking violently.
"You're the one who killed mommy." I heard one of the think. I realized that they were my son and daughter. My own children killed the center of my world.
I ran after them. I couldn't phase. It was hard too. So I guess I have to go all human. It might be easier. I could stay calm when I was really breaking down inside. Nessie was dead and here I was chasing after my kids who killed her.
I stood before two teenagers now. Same features as before but they looked sharper. They looked like their mother. Their dead mother. I wanted to go back to my Renesmee. To cry over her body. To yell out at whoever would listen how I let her down, but my body wouldn't allow it.
"Why is she dead?" I stupidly asked.
"Just because." my son shrugged.
I lunged and he grabbed me by the neck and bit me. I heard my daughter shout his name but I couldn't hear. He was venomous. Great. My own kid killing it's old man. Such a good classic.
As I laid there dying, my daughter came up to me. My lips tried to find a name but nothing came out. I finally got a good look at her. She looked exactly like me but had my mother's cinnamon brown eyes.
"Sorry, Daddy. He didn't mean it." Ha. Sorry was a word long gone by now.
I opened my eyes abruptly. I looked around. Canopy. Bed. Rose garden. Room in the cottage. Nessie beside me. She was wearing a short, white nightgown that Alice bought her. She had her back to me and was deep in sleep. I breathed in a sigh of relief.
"Ness,I-" I shook her to wake up but she never did. I shook her again but the same happen. Nothing. No. No. No.
"Renesmee! Don't joke with me!" I yelled. With just one single movement she turned and plopped on her back. Her eyes were open and her mouth was slightly slack. Her face was stricken with terror. Instead of her warm, chocolate, brown eyes all I saw was everything white. No pupil, no iris, no nothing. Her eyes were just pure white and her skin was hard and cold.
I shouted and jumped back, falling off the bed. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. I just woke up from a dream. How can I be in another! Renesmee can't die. No bargaining about it.
I shot up again with a shout. I rubbed my eyes to find them wet. Was I crying? Screw it. I think I deserved this. It's between dreaming of my mom, dreaming of death, dreaming of Nessie, of my kids. Do I have a guilty conscience? Why do I keep having these dreams that leave me haunted. Shouldn't Nessie be the one with the strange dreams. They say the pregnant chick has the weird dreams. Why can't things ever be easy?
I glanced over at Nessie. Her back wasn't to me. She was lying on her back so I could clearly see her face. Her skin was alabaster with a slight blush. Her hand was on her stomach. She was wearing my white t-shirt. She was okay.
For now.
Between three months and six months, nothing has gotten better. She's gets sick still. We're lucky to still see the babies. Carlisle says that her skin is changing but it shouldn't be anything necessary to worry about. I hope. She still has her dizzy spells due to her being weak. We've tried to get her strength up but nothing's going good in our favor. She won't take it easy, she gets sick easily, but most importantly, she can't hunt. Dark circles formed under her eyelids. The only thing that's keeping her going is her appetite. I wonder how long would it be until the thought of blood consumes her and she quits eating. Amazing self control can only go so far.
Her mind blanks aren't slacking up either. There was even a time where she forgot who I was! She went into a full panic mode when I tried to touch her. Her family couldn't even get to her. To my dislike, Kaleb had to remind her who I was. It was painful for the both of us. He had to be near her and he had to admit that I was her love. I hated him being in the same room as her. I knew Nessie was mine but it still got under my skin when she would smile at him like the whole freaking world was okay.
She still lets people walk over her. It's even with the simplest things! She has no backbone. She does exactly what you expect her to do. I know that's stupid to freak out over but I know that's not Nessie.
And our connection…its stronger. I felt like we were magnets. We would move when the other one did. I swore there was even times when my heart matched hers. I could feel what she feels, think what she thinks. I felt like we were one person. Us not them.
I looked over at the clock. Two forty-seven in the morning. Nessie was passed out. By the looks of it, she just fell asleep. There was one of the two that keeps her up at nights. We started calling it Night Owl since it played at night and slept during the day. The other one slept through the night but was up early. Meaning, Nessie got little sleep. I could see a future already. Since I can't sleep I guess I'll take Night Own and Nessie can take Early Bird.
I put my hands on her stomach and sighed. Night Owl was at it again. I smiled when it kicked the spot where my hand was. I laid my cheek on her stomach and let out a pent up breath. I couldn't help now but be excited that in a few months I would have my own family. It was something I dreamed of having with Nessie.
Nessie let out a loud snore, letting me know that she was exhausted and in deep sleep. This time I felt both babies go at it. What? Were they cage fighters or something? They would have to be to survive this world.
"Do you know what your Daddy wishes?" I asked and they stopped. Maybe they could hear my voice. Maybe they could understand what I'm saying. Heck if I know. "He wishes that you could give your mama a little rest so daddy can relax. He isn't going to phase if he's worried about her." I never thought I would talk like this. I swore I wouldn't. Guess it backfired.
I kissed her stomach twice then quickly got out of bed, making sure Renesmee didn't wake. I walked to the living room, standing there and having no clue what to do. I refuse to phase. Not when I'm about to back out on a promise I made to my drunk sister three months ago. I thought I could be able to back out but Nessie's stopped me.
I walked to the window and laid my head up against the cool glass. It was going to snow today and tomorrow to Nessie's excitement. I had no clue why she loved snow when it would just melt right in her palms. To me it was an aggravation. A reminder to how I almost lost Nessie a year ago.
She could die. The girl I was so madly in love with could die due to carrying my kids that I also loved. It would be my fault. I even wonder why did Nessie want to keep them? If she died I would want to kill them. I would want to die too. I would find a way to join her. They don't deserve that. Loosing both parents. Having a dead mother and a walking, dead father who couldn't handle the sight of them because it would be too painful.
I plopped down in a recliner near the window and kicked back. I felt like I could slip down and hide away. I wish I could. I wanted to run away from my dream. I'll even go as far as I wanted to run from my responsibilities in the real world. From everything; but I couldn't. I was stuck with them no matter how bad I wanted to slip down and keep sinking.
What was the reason for these dreams? To keep me from phasing so I could be near Nessie? Is something going to happen to her, my son, and my daughter? Was something going to happen to me? To my family? Or was it just to keep me awake at night. I have Nessie tossing and turning, her every move waking me up. When I do go to sleep, the dreams kick in. Fun, right?
I stared off into space. I wasn't tired. I never was. I'm wide awake. I always would be. Normally I would phase to make me so physically tired I welcomed the sleep, but I wasn't leaving Nessie. She sneaks off too much. And Kaleb was out. Yes, the idiot decided to start phasing again just to keep a direct line to Nessie.
I looked at the coffee table to see Nessie's laptop and book. She was reading Romeo & Juliet for the thousandth time. She said it reminded her of us while she was away. That she finally decided to follow her heart instead of her mind. I found it funny but she didn't. The only thing that was the same between Romeo, Juliet, Nessie, and I was that we fell in love when we were young, didn't take a relationship serious or slow, and if she dies then I die too.
I grabbed Nessie's laptop and opened it to the home screen-which was a picture of her and I standing on the beach, our hands touching her stomach and looking down at it. She must have got on the internet while I was trying to sleep. At least she didn't leave like last time.
Sometimes I wonder why she just becomes a photographer. She's amazing at it. She'd be amazing at anything-including motherhood. One picture that stood out the most was a black wolf with silver streaks along its back, legs, and chest. Nessie caught it at the right moment as it ran through the woods. I could tell easily which brother it was.
Kaleb.
I exited out of the photos before I could get angrier. I wasn't going to get angry. It was Christmas Eve. I would spend it with Renesmee no matter how bad she was driving me to insanity. I will not let Kaleb ruin it. Nessie was mine. I was not going to let her slip though my hands and let her walk away. She was stuck to my side and never leave.
I was about to turn the computer off but the big internet icon stood out like a neon sign. I scrolled over to it and clicked on it. Google popped up. Several colleges ran through my mind. It was something I wanted to type up but was too afraid. I always said I would wait and go to college whenever Nessie was ready. Nessie said that she might wait a few years before she even thinks about going. She wanted to be a mother first then worry about her future.
To be honest, since Nessie decided not to go, I wanted too. I wanted that degree so that I could take care of my family. Everybody in the pack that's able to work does. Everybody but me. I didn't want to live off of the Cullens all the time. They've did a lot for me, but I didn't want to make it look like I'm on a gravy train. I wanted a better life.
I've thought about going into architect, engineering, and shockingly business. I'm good at rebuilding anything and I'm good-surprisingly-with numbers. I could open up a few businesses. Remodel a few houses here and there, open a garage shop, invest my money somewhere good, and be set off. I love rebuilding anything mechanical but I also like rebuilding the house too. I had the rejection clouding my mind but looking back now, I enjoyed it.
I told Carlisle and Esme about what my plans were just to see what they would say. The next thing I knew, they offered to pay my tuition for whatever college I want and how long I go. I tried to tell them not too but they insisted. I asked them not to say anything yet because I wasn't sure on my decision yet. I just knew this was something I wanted to do.
I felt warm hands cover my eyes and smiled. "Guess who?" she whispered in my ear.
I pretended like I was trying to consider who it was. "Rachel?" I asked.
"No."
"Alice?"
"Nope."
"Bella?"
"Getting close, but still no."
"Sofia! Yeah! That's who it is!" I joked. Nessie uncovered my eyes and turned to face me with a raised eyebrow.
"Who's that?" she asked with accusation. She put a hand on her hand on her back and the other on her stomach.
I laughed. "You're guess is as good as mine." I said as I tried to shut everything down but Nessie caught it too quickly.
"What are you trying to hide?"
"Um…nothing."
"Mmm-hmm." Nessie took the computer from me and sat down in my lap. I helped her as she sat down with a huff. Good thing my legs are strong. "Now we have to figure out how to do this. Me being big as a barrel pregnant, barely fitting into a recliner, and looking at a computer."
"That, my dear, is a sign that you shouldn't be looking." I thought, trying to take the laptop away.
She grabbed it and brought it back to her lap. "I'll find a way." she projected. She made me move so she could get lower and put the laptop in front of her. I rose up quick, which made Nessie distracted, and clicked the exit button.
Nessie looked at the screen shocked. She turned to me with a look of aggravation and slammed the computer shut. "Fine!" she yelled.
Renesmee got up and sat down on the couch. She poked out her bottom lip in a pout-which made her look even cuter. You could clearly see the bump even when my shirt looked like a short night gown. Don't get me wrong, she looked hot in it, but it reminded me of my dream. Her eyes nothing but white, her skin colder than a vampire's. It was scary because a vampire's skin was coldest of them all.
I shivered at remembering.
I snuck a glance at Nessie. She was so cute when she was pouting. Now that she's six month's pregnant it was even cuter. Her bottom lip pocked out and her hands crossed over her chest. I hoped that our twins would inherit almost everything from her. If they looked like her, I would be happy.
I walked over to the couch and sat down beside Nessie. I took my thumb and smoothed out her bottom lip. I cocked a smile at her, which made her heartbeat speed. She smiled back at me, thus making my heart quicken. I liked that Nessie didn't try to hide the dumbstruck look anymore. It proved to me that I was her chosen one as she was mine.
"What are you doing up?" I asked. I smoothed my thumb underneath her eyes, as if I could wipe away the dark circles that were underneath her eyes. She looked tired and weak. I hated to call her weak but it was what she was.
"Night Owl." was all Nessie said. "I had a bad dream so maybe it was a good thing she woke me up."
I noticed Nessie said that Night Owl was a girl. I wondered why? Was it some creepy mother's intuition? I would never know.
"What did you dream about?" I asked instead of the whole how did she know crap. She never told me anything so what would be knew?
A tear slipped down Nessie's cheek as she looked down. She quickly wiped it away. "It's nothing."
"It must be something if you're crying."
Nessie put her hand on my cheek and smiled. "Just crazy pregnancy hormones."
"Tell me."
Nessie looked into my eyes and projected to me an image of me dying. I was slowly and painfully fading away. It was of me when I was bit and died. I couldn't remember how I came back just to be with Nessie. All I knew was that I slipped away. Nessie knew I was dead. Carlisle told me that when Nessie left, he tried to work to get my heart to beat. When Emmett came back that Nessie was bleeding bad, my heart slowly started to beat. I couldn't remember that much only that I was in immense pain.
A strange thought popped into my head. While all that happen, Nessie was a few weeks pregnant with the twins. It was a miracle that she didn't miscarry. She fought, suck venom, kissed Kaleb, did so many things that could make her loose them but she didn't. It was amazing now how she's able to keep them now even when she's thrown into stress.
I brought Nessie to my chest and hugged her. "It's okay." I soothed. "I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to me." I told her.
"How do you know?"
"Because I have more to live for now than ever. I have you and the twins to think about. The three of you need me." I answered, wiping the tears away from her face. I did have more to live for. I had Nessie and the twins that need me more than anybody else. We didn't just have each other now, we have to think about Night Owl and Early Bird.
Renesmee brought her lips to mine, and like always, it was a battle on who was going to push it farther. While I kissed Nessie gently, she pushed it. I had no clue why. Most of the time she got what she wanted because I was so stupid to let her.
I pulled away. "No." I stated. Right now I needed to phase than to be on a high due to Renesmee's kisses. I had to think of Nessie, but she was the reason why I need too.
"Now what are you doing up, Mr. Black." Nessie asked. I had no clue why she ask when she knows the answer.
"Dreams." I thought.
Nessie bit her lip as if she was debating on saying something or not. Eventually she just took a breath and looked down at her entwined hands. "I know we were thinking of Charles Edward, Edward Jacob, or Jacob Anthony for a boy but do you think we could add some more?" she asked.
We had so many names to figure out for our son as it is and she wants to add another? "What else?"
"I was thinking of Lawson Jacob."
"Where did Lawson come from?"
Renesmee thought for a moment and shrugged. "I just liked the sound of it. You don't like it."
I did like it, though it didn't seem right. If she wanted it then I would love it; but I had a name right on my tongue. I just couldn't figure out what it was. "No, I do like it. It's just we have so much for a boy's name to choose from. What about our daughter? You know she's being left out." I said as I leaned back to relax on the couch. Nessie was now awake and okay so now I could rest and relax.
Nessie laid her head on my chest. "Want to try conjoining our moms' names like mine?"
Not really. Having a name like Edward Jacob or Isabelle Sarah was fine. But Jadward? Sarabella? Seemed…weird. We could name her Arahbelle, but I wanted my son and daughter to be their own. I didn't want to start a tradition just for it to be broken.
"Something Isabelle." I laughed.
"I was thinking more on the line of your mother's middle name and Isabelle. Or we could try Arahbelle. A-r-a-h-b-e-l-l-e Rebecca Black. To copycat?"
"It's…yeah, a little bit. I just want my children to feel normal. I mean, they have a father who phases into a wolf and a mother who's part vampire. I don't want them to feel like they have to live up to their namesake. I want them to be their own person." I told her. Nessie nodded, understanding.
We fell into silence. I tried to go to sleep but I was wide awake. I wished I could go to sleep. To actually dream something good other than nightmares. To sleep peacefully with my Renesmee by my side. Sadly, my body wouldn't allow me.
"Are you still going with Rachel today?" Renesmee aske.
I hesitated. I need to go. "I am. Don't want too but I will."
Nessie got closer to me as much as she could and raised up to kiss my cheek. "Then go phase while you can. The feeling may be getting worse."
"No." I snapped, proving her right. "I will not leave you on Christmas Eve."
"Then at least get some sleep for a few minutes. I'll cook breakfast."
"I can't!"
"Why?"
I ran my hands through my hair, breathing heavy. I can't tell Nessie that I'm terrified she'll die. "I can't loose you." I just whispered. "Not again."
"This is the about the dreams, huh?" I nodded as my answer. She knew every one of them I had.
"Jacob, you're mother and sister loved you so much. Isaiah and Joseph died protecting their tribe, and me…you will not loose me. Everything has tried to rip us apart but it's failed. Why should we let it win now? Don't worry about loosing me, my love."
"What about Kaleb?" I blurted.
Nessie took a deep breath. "I'm so madly in love with you that he's not even a threat. You're my mate. Don't feel threatened by him, my love."
"How? Nessie, none of this is something I can forget about just because we're back together. I can't be put at ease." I snapped.
"Is loving me easy?" Nessie flirted.
I would say yes if she didn't know what my weaknesses were. "No."
"Good, because you're not so easy either." Nessie showed, poking me in the chest. "I love you with all my heart, my Jacob."
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
Nessie's point of view:
I was worried about Jacob. He hasn't slept good in a while. He's terrified, and I'm not that much of a help either. He's scared I would leave him by death or the other. I would not leave him. I had gained so much and that could be taken away from me. I had that to loose if I just gave up.
I was excited that in three more months I'll have my…I couldn't even put names on them because we can't agree on any. Jacob's not that big of a help.
These past three months Jacob has made it clear that he doesn't want his kids to imprint or to be imprinted on. I could see his point. He didn't want his son to go through what he went through, and with his daughter he was just being the typical overprotected, that's my little girl, father. That did make me push back what I thought about Kaleb imprinting on our daughter. He wouldn't believe me. Nobody would. Kaleb would run. I would be a laughing stock because I can't even figure out what my twins will be named! Now you see why I want to hold off?
As we parked in front of the graveyard, Jacob got out without a word. He was nervous. He need to phase but refused to leave me. He was even more terrified than he was in the beginning. It hit both of us that pretty soon it will be the four of us than just me and Jake.
I jumped when Jacob opened the car door. His face showed no emotion but his thoughts told me otherwise. He needed to phase. He needs to sleep. It was good he was dreaming about me, our babies, his mom and sister, but when their nightmares that keep him awake and make it worse was another thing. I wish I could take them all away. I wish I could take everything from him and make it better.
"Do you need help?" Jacob asked coldly. It wasn't one of his many cold tone of voices where he's mad. He's trying to cover up that he's breaking down inside. Still, I couldn't help but gawk at him. His deep, dark brown eyes. His sculptured chest. He was breathtakingly beautiful in every way. I hoped that at least one of the two looks like him.
"I think I got it." I showed him, attempting to get out. My big stomach got in the way and I plopped back down in my seat. I laughed at my attempt. I'm just now getting use to the fact that I'm not graceful or skinny as I use to be. I never thought I would see the day where I can't do something as simple as getting out of a car.
"Are you sure you don't need that help? To me it looks like the bump's getting in the way." Jacob teased, cracking a small smile. Although I blushed, I'm glad I got that much out of him.
"I'm glad my pregnancy can be for your comedic use." I glared at him. "So no, I don't need your help…baby daddy." I popped off, using the top name that Jacob hates. I went at it for round two.
Jacob kept his glare at using his favorite name as I got out. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Very mature, Renesmee." he thought.
"Shutup." I snapped as one of the babies kicked. It made my legs buckle and I started to fall.
Jake caught me right before I fell to the ground. My vision blurred and I felt my head roll back. My whole body was going limp.
"Nessie!" I heard panic in Jacob's voice. I blurredly saw his worried face as he brought me closer to him. My mouth felt so heavy that I couldn't respond. I could sense Paul and Rachel hovering over me. All of them were in my face. I didn't like it and neither did the twins.
"Back away." I told them as everything went back to normal. I rubbed my stomach, projecting to the twins to take it easy. It was something I figured out how to do, but it was hard. It made me tired-just like everything else does It's hard to project and read something that's inside of you.
Paul and Rachel obeyed but Jacob didn't listen. I put a hand on his trembling bicep to calm him down, or an attempt anyway. "I'm okay." I soothed.
"I don't call what just happen being okay. We need-"
"Jacob, calm down okay? My legs gave out. Big whoop."
"Yeah, big whoop! Something could have happen while you were getting out of the car-"
I hissed at him and he knew he had struck the wrong nerve. "No freaking duh something could happen. I'm carry twins that are one quarter vampire and that have the werewolf gene! I can't hunt! Most of the time my head is stuck throwing up in a toilet! Might I add that I'm in so much stress right now? Nobody wants me around because it stops whatever in the crap they do. My family is terrified to be around me, you, and the twins! Because it blocks the Volturi's decision or whoever else's. Don't you know that stress isn't good for a pregnant woman!" I yelled. I felt like I could slap somebody and Jacob was the closest to me.
I didn't realize I hit him hard until he rubbed his arm and gave me a look. "I'm just worried about you." he whispered.
I took a deep breath, seeing his point like I have for some many times, and brought my lips up to kiss him. "I know." I whispered back.
Jake took a deep breath and covered my hand that I had on my stomach. "I've fought vampires, died, lost you, and you would think I would be fearless by now. Now it seems like going in a stupid graveyard to see Mom and Becca is the hardest thing to do. You'd think it'd be easy to do it."
"Even the smallest acts can show bravery."
"Then why do I feel scared?"
"Because you have a heart, Jake. There's nothing wrong with being scared." I projected to him as I ran my hands through his hair. Doing this always relaxed him. Rachel told me Sarah would do this if Jacob woke up crying from a bad dream. It would always lull him back to sleep. The sisters even did it as a desperate need to get Jacob to calm down after Sarah's death. She told me that he blamed himself but not say anything to him about it.
Everybody has their strange ways of calming down. Even though he won't admit it, this was Jacob's. He had to grow up and become a man before he was even able to enjoy being a boy. He wanted to make sure his twins wouldn't have to grow up quick. We wanted them to make small mistakes because we knew they eventually would have to make them. Not the big ones their mother and father made.
As I continued to run my hands through his silky hair, I noticed Jacob started to lean and his head go limp as he was nodding off. I laughed when I came to the realization that I was putting him to sleep. I didn't know I was that boring.
"Let's get this over with." Jake breathed, trying to wake up. He helped me stand and pressed me closer to his side as we walked. Flurries were falling hard now, getting stuck in our lashes only to melt seconds later. I reached my hand out to catch one only for it to melt in my hand. I guess that's the beauty of running a high temperature. I never get cold but snow melted whenever it touched me. Jake was the same way.
I pressed even closer to Jacob just to let him know I was here. He shivered uncomfortably but gripped my hipbone tight. I swallowed back a winced. He probably didn't realize how tight he was holding me and I didn't want him to know. Like all men, he wasn't going to put his pride down.
"You okay?" Paul asked me. I nodded yes as I noticed Rachel. She had tears streaming down her face. She was wondering why did she even bring that up at the wedding. At least she was letting it all out while Jake was bottling it all in.
"I can wait here. Isn't it kind of disgraceful for an outsider, much less a vampire, to go on sacred grounds?" I showed Jacob.
"No-I mean yes it is, but…I need you. Plus you're kind of not an outsider." Jacob thought, showing no emotion. His face was dead like his thoughts.
As we walked over to the two gravesites, Sue came up to hug us. Jacob shook hands with his dad and I bent down to hug him. "How's my grandchildren." he asked all of us.
Rachel wasn't going to answer so Paul did, moving Will closer to his chest. I guess that was the easiest way to keep his son warm. "Sleepy." Billy held up his hands and Paul passed his son onto him.
"And my two are wide awake." I joked, rubbing my stomach and hoping my cage fighters would come down. I saw Rachel crack a small smile but Jacob never showed any emotion.
I saw Sarah Black written across the stone and Rebecca on the other. I was there for Becca's funeral. I always wondered why she left her husband and moved back her. It was none of my business so I never asked. I saw him cry but it wasn't enough to prove to me that he loved her. I even held back my own tears and waited for Jacob to shed his own. I was able to meet her. I was dating her little brother. I was the one that dragged him off when he needed to be there to save her. She died too young. She would be her with Rachel and Jacob. She would be waiting on her niece and nephew to arrive.
And Sarah…I never knew her but I wish I did. I think I have. I think I see her in Jacob. They say he looks a lot like his mother. He has her attitude. The contagious good, kind, easy flow attitude. Seeing Jacob's dreams, I could see it. The way his jaw line is, the scrunched up way his eyebrows get when he's really thinking about something, the gracious attitude. He was so much of a mixture between his mother and his father. Jacob should be proud of the man he had become. I know I am.
I had to figure out how to add Sarah and Rebecca's name to my daughter. The boy's name wasn't a problem. We just had to choose one out of a hundred. The girl's name was a little bit trickier. I wanted my mother's name and somehow Sarah and Becca's name too I didn't want a long name like Renesmee Carlie Cullen or Jacob Ephraim Black. Too long. Jacob wanted something original while I wanted something unique.
My daughter's name was harder. Like her brother, I wanted something unique. I've thought of everything. Madison, Adrian, Aria, Gabrielle, Danielle, but I also liked the name Arahbelle. Just take off the S in Sarah and A in Bella and put them together. Arahbelle Rebecca Black. I liked it. It sounded unique. If Jacob wasn't being the stubborn one. I needed help, but from who?
I realized Billy, Rachel, and Jacob were speaking in Quileute. I decided to leave their thoughts alone. It was none of my business. I just only wished the two could be here right now.
I leaned closer to Jacob and closed my eyes. He sucked in a deep breath but didn't move away. I loved to hear him speak in Quileute. I thought it was beautiful. Especially when he was speaking it.. It just made me drool over him even more than I have before
I opened my eyes to see a pair of eyes and a black head with silver streaks across his face barely in the open. It was Kaleb. He was here. I could feel Night Owl move when I saw who it was. That's why I figured it was a girl. One, because she always kept me awake at night. Two, because she always moved when Kaleb was near. I knew this was the one he was going to imprint on.
"You know Jake's going to kill you." I showed him.
"I'll take my chances." he thought back.
Jake got tense and I thought he caught Kaleb. When I looked up at him, he wasn't looking to where Kaleb was. He was looking off at another part of the woods, nostrils flared as he was probably wanting the wolf in him to come out. I put my hand on his chest, feeling his warmth, and he looked at him. When I projected what was wrong, he just shook his head and went back to focusing on his family.
When they were finished, Paul and Sue were walking away, I followed them to give Billy, Rachel, and Jake time alone. I didn't bother looking at Jake because I could feel what he felt. He didn't want me to leave and my daughter didn't want me too either.
I learned against the car and sighed, rubbing my stomach. I forgot to eat so right now I was starving. Shocker for me to forget eating, huh? Sue walked up and squeezed my arm.
"Have you decided on any names?" she asked.
"We have so many that we're arguing over which ones we like." I answered. Sue put a hand on my stomach and I felt a flutter from one of them.
"When I was pregnant with Leah, I couldn't decide on what I should name her. So you're not the only one."
"Then what did you do?" I asked. I was desperate need for answers. We couldn't go around calling them Night Owl and Early Bird forever.
"Harry and I sat down with a notebook and wrote down all the names we liked. I had him read them off out loud until I felt her move."
That didn't sound like a bad idea. Jacob loved talking to them. Whenever he was awake and thought I was asleep, I would hear him talk to my stomach. He would sometimes speak Quileute to them or tell them how crazy their parents were about each other and how much we would love them. It always lulled me to sleep.
"Did you do the same thing with Seth?"
"Actually Leah named him. After a debate on calling him brat." Sue said as I laughed some more.
"I'll have to try that." I told her. She walked off to help Billy into the vehicle. Jacob and Paul were over at Joseph and Isaiah's grave. Since I was here, I might as well pay my respect to a death that I caused.
Jacob brought a hand out and I took it. He squeezed it tight but I didn't mind. I noticed Paul was doing the same thing but Rach didn't mind either. Our wolves act big and strong but behind the muscles and strength they had a heart. A big heart. A heart where they cry as they stand before their brothers' grave. It made me even more proud of him. My wolf. My Jacob.
I brought Jake's hand to my stomach and let it rest there. I felt two little flutters move right at the exact spot and smiled. "They missed their daddy." I showed Jacob, trying to get him to crack a smile. I reached up and wiped a tear away from his cheek. I know what this was about already. He was imagining me with my name on that stone.
I bit my lip. Jacob was loosing hope. He can't. I needed him to be strong. If he gives up then I do, and vice versa. We both had to be strong so both of us would leave.
All of a sudden we heard a wolf howl-a distressed one. Jacob and Paul looked at each other, then at the woods, then back at us. They were torn. Danger was on the land and Rachel, William, and I were screwed.
"Go." Rachel said, pushing Paul's shoulder. Another howl went off, making both men swore.
"Jacob. I'll be fine." I reassured to Jake. "I'll go straight home."
"No. I'm not leaving you." he said. He was even unsure of what he wanted to do. I didn't want to leave, too. I had a bad feeling about this and I know Jacob felt it too.
"Go!" I shouted. I had to put my own feelings behind. Jacob was a protector and he needed to protect his tribe from danger. He needed to be out there. Now.
"Both of you do not leave until somebody is able to be with you." Jacob ordered, using his Chief tone of voice. Rachel and I both nodded. Jacob and Paul ran to the woods, stripping off their short, and disappeared into the greenery.
"Must be bad if Jacob is ordering us around." Rachel mused as we both stared where Jacob and Paul disappeared. Something bad was happening.
"I wonder why my family isn't out here." I said, my mind miles and miles away. My chest hurt and I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt numb all over, my limbs barely moving.
Something happen to Jacob.
I was about to take a step when Rachel stopped me. She gripped my arm hard. I could have easily overpowered her but she had Will in her arms so I better not.
"Ness, no. You're pregnant. You can't rush in and save the day." she said.
"But something happened to Jacob." I begged, tears forming my eyes.
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do! I can feel it!" I shouted.
"Okay. Let me go put Will in his car seat and we'll call Edward. Come on." Rachel dragged me halfway to her bar-and most of the time I let her-but I stopped when I heard thoughts. His scent made me sick.
Finn appeared a few yards away from me. His thoughts weren't to talk but to kill, and my sweet smell I put off thanks to the pregnancy, and Rachel and Will's human scent, he was going to have a field day.
Rachel screamed when she saw Finn and rushed to my side. I didn't know why. She had a chance of going. I could distract him long enough for her speed off and get Will to safety. Hopefully by then help would decide to come because there wasn't anything we could do. A human and a pregnant half vampire? Yeah. The wonders we can do.
I knew he did something to Jacob. He had too. My heart told me it was him. He knew my mate was a wolf. He just didn't know which one it was. "What did you do to Jacob!" I snarled.
"Dead. Or he will be." Finn answered. I read his thoughts. He has a gift of when he touches somebody, they go numb. Eventually you strain so hard to move that you just give up of exhaustion. He touched Jake and Paul. They didn't see him and a single touch sent them to the ground. They were stuck in their wolf bodies exhausted so it was affecting the pack too.
"Please…" I begged. "Don't hurt them." This was all I seemed to could have done.
"My kill is only for you." he growled. He was trying to use his gift but couldn't. This was one of the times where I was relieved one of my twins had this gift. "I didn't know you were pregnant."
Finn was now about a foot away from me, circling us. I projected to Rachel that she should go back to the car but she refused to move.
"Six months." I answered, putting both hands on my stomach. I kept reading his thoughts. He was going to go from my right and attack Rachel first to save me for last.
"Maybe I should go to the Volturi about this. Maybe the world will finally be rid of you half bred monsters." Finn sneered.
"Nessie isn't like that! She's a lot better than you are! You're the one killing innocent people!" Rachel shouted at Finn. I hoped somebody would come real soon.
Finn couldn't hold back his anger any more and stood before us now. He was hissing and growling. The feeling of not using his gifts was the only chance of hope for us. But as I was about to stop him from attacking us, he grabbed one hand to my throat and another twisted Rachel's shoulder and she screamed in pain. If I chose to fight him, he would danger Rachel more.
Finn threw Rachel and she crashed against her car, falling limp. "Rachel!" I tried to yell but I could hardly breath. He was crushing my throat. Black spots were dancing across my vision and my knees buckled. Finn raised his fist and hit me hard in the mouth. It made me fall on my butt and stay there too stun to move.
I could taste blood which made me throw up. Finn moved his foot against my shoulder that made my whole body go on the snowy ground. I tried to fight back without hurting the twins but I was weak and unsuccessful. My only thoughts were of Rachel, the wolves and my family. That made me where I couldn't fight back because I was scared for them. My only option of living was to pray that Finn was straining to use his gift and I could use that against him.
Finn grabbed me by my throat and groaned. He threw me far into the woods and I landed hard on my stomach. I felt a few ribs crack and I whimpered in pain. I couldn't breathe! When I started to throw up again, I saw red come out of my mouth. This wasn't good. I hoped that it was coming from the bleed in my mouth and not from somewhere else.
I just laid there, hoping my family was on the way because there was no way I was going to win. So when I felt somebody move me to my back, I blurredly saw Finn. "You killed her, huh? Katherine. You got her pregnant. Once she had the baby, the blood was too much for you so you sucked her dry then blamed your son on her death. I'm shocked you didn't kill her in the first place." I spat, trying to get away from him.
Finn got on top of me. I wasn't able to move. He closeness was sickening. It got even worse when he was right in my face. "She was already dying! I loved her and that demon spawn killed her!" he yelled, rubbing his head.
"You could have changed her like my father did my mother. That was the only way she could have lived. If he never did and she died, it would have been his fault. He was the one that got her pregnant! Like you got Katherine pregnant! It was just a baby! It didn't know any better. You gave into your own selfish blood lust and sucked her dry. She died loving you. Katherine trusted you all those times and you betrayed her~"
Finn snarled but looked at me with a shocked expression. He wondered how did I know this. Instead of showing mercy, though, he slapped me in the face. My head snapped hard to the right where I saw two wolves lay on the ground. One was gray and the other was russet brown. They barely got away from my radar. Finn must have new that. I could see that now their minds were numb so I couldn't read their thoughts.
Just then Finn screamed and put his hands over his ears! He ran his hands over his body, doing anything to hurt him. When I tried to get up, he snapped me back down. He was getting stiff and he just looked up at me with an evil expression. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
I was too much in pain to move so I stayed frozen as he moved his head to my neck. I hope somebody was on there way or I was really big time screwed.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
Finn's mouth coming close to my neck. His hand crushing it so hard that I screamed. His sickly smell that made me gag and choke. Him screaming again and falling to the ground next to me. Me scooting away but something grabbed my foot, dragging me back. Me praying that Jacob was okay. My uncle Emmett coming in to tackle Finn.
"No!" I shout. "Don't hurt him!"
"Renesmee. He came to kill you." he says, looking up from a struggling Finn. "Don't you dare move or I will gladly go against my niece's wish and kill you." he growls to Finn.
I collapse in somebody's arms as pain erupts from my stomach. I cling to Daddy as I whimper in pain, throwing up again. Jacob was all who I could think about.
"You'll be okay." Daddy says. "It'll be okay." he soothes as if he is trying to prove that to himself. I might as well let him believe it because I didn't.
I woke up laying on something soft. My body hurt. It hurt to breath. Then I remembered who I fought. Who hurt Rachel, Paul and Jacob. Probably even more.
Finn. Why was he here?
I opened my eyes to find Carlisle and Rosalie standing over me. Where was everybody else? Where were my parents that I so desperately wanted? Where was my mate?
I opened my mouth then whimpered. It hurt to open my mouth no thanks to Finn.
"Shhh…it's okay." Grandpa soothed, trying to get me to relax.
"Where's Momma and Daddy? And-and Jacob!" I showed him, projecting how much I wanted them.
"Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are talking to the other vampire-"
"Finn. Yeah, I met him and his brothers after one of them rescued me from the Children of the Moon. Is he by himself?"
"Yes. He won't tell us why? He just says that I should know."
"Because he hates me. He thinks that hybrids killed his-" I tried to speak but the pain was too much to bare.
"Don't try to speak." Rosalie told me. I nodded.
"Where's Momma?"
"She's with Renée. Esme and Alice are taking care of Rachel." Renée?
"Renée?"
"She made a surprise visit. She must have made it when Alice wasn't able to see." Grandpa said. "We brought you, Rachel, Jacob, and Paul to the house but she got suspicious."
"Are they okay?" I raised up at the sound of Jacob's name. He needs to be okay. Was he dead? Was he bit? What happen? Why wasn't he here with me when we both needed each other. I could feel it. Why was he ignoring it?
"Rachel's shoulder is broke and she has a concussion. It's hard to explain Jake's and Paul's case."
"The babies?" I croaked then whimpered. Bad decision.
"From what I examined they are okay now." Grandpa asked. Now?
"What do you mean? Now? Grandpa, tell me."
Grandpa looked at Rosalie then back at me. I sat up quickly but winced. I rubbed my stomach, realizing that I had a few broken ribs, and slid back down. Carlisle was scarring me. Did I fight less to save them? Did I fight too much?
"We'll go get Bella and Edward." Grandpa eventually said. Him and Rosalie got up and walked out the room. I started to breathe heavy, knowing if I didn't calm down it could be even worse. But did something happen? What's wrong with my two angels?
I heard Jacob unsteadily walk down the hall. It scared me. Jake was never unsteady. He's always been graceful-even for his size. He was now walking like he was sore. Like he was forcing his limbs to move. When I saw him, somehow, I relaxed. He looked exhausted. He looked in pain. His shoulder was in a brace but he was safe. He couldn't move the same but that would wear off. He was safe. Most importantly, he was alive.
I rushed out of the bed and into his arms. My body hurt with the quick movement but I didn't care. I was home. Jacob was okay. Even though when I crashed into him, he fell backwards and to the ground. I wished I never did that. It brought pain to both of us.
"Easy, honey. I'm not that stable on my feet and you're pretty banged up too." Jacob said, smoothing out my hair. I nodded but winced shortly afterward, rubbing my cheeks where Finn slapped me.
"How bad are you?"
"Not now."
"Yes!"
"No!" Jacob shouted and I jumped back. One of the babies kicked in a sore spot and I bit back pain.
"Sorry." I looked down, trying to hide my tears. I felt like I was beaten to a pulp. Oh wait, I was. Now I can feel Jacob's pain and my own. All of it was barely tolerable.
Jacob took a shaky hand and placed it on my good cheek. He traced something on my neck which hurt. I'm guessing that's where Finn tried crushing my neck. Hurt mouth, hurt stomach, hurt neck. Everything hurt.
He then brushed his hand on my cheek-the one that hurt-then to my lips, and the lightly to my stomach. Night Owl kicked lightly this time and I smiled. I worried about our son. He didn't feel him until now, making me relax. My twins were okay too. We were all okay.
"I thought I lost you." Jake thought.
"Ironic. I thought the same for you." Jacob laughed then winced. "Will you tell me what happen?"
"When we were far away enough to phase, the bloodsucker toppled on top of us. Before we could fight him, we were already to the ground. We couldn't phase back. We couldn't move or think. It was like somebody shot us up with Novocain. We were so tired that we just gave up. It reached our lungs to where we struggling to breathe. It moved faster than venom." Jacob told me. "I could hear you and Rach but I couldn't do anything about it. Then afterwards…with you…"
I decided to not press further when I saw him get upset. He felt like he broke a promise. Not just to me but to his brothers and his tribe. He felt like he even let his son and daughter down.
"Renesmee!" Momma said, rushing to me. "What are you doing? You're suppose to be in bed!"
I looked over at Jacob, who slowly got up. It worried me. Was he bit and nobody was telling me because they were worried about my reaction? No. Jacob would either be dead or in critical shape. He said he wasn't that steady on his feet, thought. Maybe he still hasn't gotten any feeling back yet? I hoped that was only it.
My mother picked me up and I winced. She gently laid me down but I raised back up. They gave me a look and I just shrugged. I just wanted Jacob and I projected to them that he was who I wanted. I grabbed his hand and dragged him next to me. We both winced but at least the twins were excited to be near him.
"Now will you lay down?" Daddy asked. Jacob laughed and put his hand lightly on my stomach. They kicked again.
"Yes. After I see Rachel, ask why Renée is here, and then talk to Finn." I answered then winced. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back tears.
"No. You're not leaving this bed." Momma said, crossing her hands over her chest and daring me to say something about it. I look like I'm in my twenties but like any other mother daughter relationship, I rolled my eyes. I can be so mature sometimes.
"But tomorrow's Christmas." I whined. Tears blurred my vision.
Jacob wiped underneath my eyes before they could fall. "It'll work out." he whispered, his warm breath against my cheek.
"Can I at least ask Finn something? He came here for more than just to kill me." I pleaded.
"Renesmee, you're pregnant. You're carrying twins, which is already a danger in itself. On top of that you have injuries. You need to fully heal. This is a dangerous thing you're in." Grandpa said. I knew there was more to the story but I started to sway. Jacob asked if I wanted to lay down and I nodded. Him and Grandpa gently led me back against the pillows.
"Carlisle, tell her what else." Daddy said.
Jacob swallowed hard and looked away. Grandpa sat beside me and took my hand. "Grandpa?" I rasped, clenching my teeth. "Is my babies okay?"
"When we found Finn about to kill you, Emmett was able to get him off of you before anything could happen. You begged that we didn't kill him. The twins were getting distressed and you weren't breathing well. I thought I was going to have to induce labor just so you could have a small chance of living. You were rejecting whatever medicine I gave you." he told me.
"What does that have to do with the twins?"
"If I delivered now at the state both you and the twins are in, you and your children would die. None of thought you would make it back alive."
I felt Jacob tense up. "At the state we're in? What is that suppose to mean?"
Carlisle hesitated. "You're growing weak. Normally I could say that the twins would be dragging you down but that isn't the case. Their weak also. If something bad happed and it forced me to induce you…it would end with us not only loosing the babies but you too."
"You could change me."
"It would be too late."
"You said that with Momma."
"You're a lot different than your mother."
I nodded. That stupid stunt I pulled could have cost not only my life but the other two lives I was trying to protect. I glanced over at Jacob. He was staring over at the rose garden with a blank expression.
"What does she need to do?" Jacob asked, still looking outside as if he was longing to leave.
"Could blood help? We could give human blood like I drank." Momma said. I groaned at the sound of blood. I was getting so tired of that.
"If she gets sick by just the sound of the word then it's not going to work." Daddy answered. Momma looked down to hide her disappointment. She was willing to do anything to keep me alive. I would do anything to stay alive too…except drink blood.
"Edward's right. If blood makes her sick then we can't have her spitting it back up. We would have to get her strength back up through human food, rest, and once you're healed, moving around. Only for a little." Grandpa directed the last part to me. I folded my hands over my barely existing lap. "And if you want to have these babies full term or not miscarry, you need to quit pulling these superhero stunts. And no stress."
I wanted to laugh. My whole life was stress. "Deal." I would try but I didn't know if I would succeed. "But if I'm so bad off they why are you still letting me stay in the cottage?"
Momma and Daddy smiled at me and I knew my answers. Stress would easily make its way back to me. I can't handle the vampire smell. I spend all day over there and by the time I leave Momma, Daddy, Alice, and Jasper are practically going crazy. Jacob was the only one who was brave enough to stick around, and even right now, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
"Oh. Well, can I still see Finn?" I tried to ask stronger but groaned. I tried to sit up but gasped in pain.
"What did Carlisle just say, Ness!" Jacob asked, clearly trying not to hide his aggravation.
"Okay. Stay in bed and screw Christmas." I panted. I felt one of the babies move again. Maybe they were agreeing with me.
"Not essentially that but you're not seeing Finn." Daddy said.
"I need to talk to him." I begged.
"No! I'm wanting to kill him enough as it is! He's lucky he had you to hide behind. I might just go ahead and kill him anyway." Jacob shouted/
"Why?"
"He killed three people on my land. Just saying that you're siding with him puts me in a tough position."
"I'm not siding with him, Jacob. It's just…there was another hybrid. He killed the girl he loved-"
"So what! Edward killed Bella! You're going to die and it'll be my fault when it'll really be you who kills yourself! You don't realize who will loose you if you die! I will! I'll loose everything because you were too selfish to think about how much my life depends on you! You side with everybody else but me! You are with me, Renesmee! Are you to stupid to realize that?" Jacob shouted. I jumped and shrank back against the pillows. Daddy glared at Jacob and Momma growled. All of them-except for Jacob-tried to calm me down but it only made it worse.
I pushed them back, clearly upset. "Just go! And tell Finn to go too!" I shouted. More tears came back as I spoke. When they didn't move I hissed at them to leave. No relaxation for me.
"You're lucky, mongrel." Daddy growled at Jacob. He was being pulled out by Momma and Grandpa. Great.
Teas fell down my face as Jacob backed into a corner. You would think he would apologize after seeing and feeling my emotions, but what he said was far worse than before. "What? Do you need Kaleb to wipe away your tears because I won't."
My bottom lip quivered. I would have taken a slap in the face a lot better than what he just said to me. I would rather have Finn kill me than Jacob say that to me. I needed Jacob, but I've come to realize that I loved a completely different Jacob than the one I hurt. I could try and stay away from the stress but I knew that's what was going to kill me. If Jacob and I were going to fight like this than all of the rebuilding we've did isn't worth it.
"Maybe you need to check on Rachel." I showed Jacob, looking everywhere but at his eyes.
"I already did. She's fine."
"Go check on the pack then."
"Gave 'em the night off." I gave Jacob a look. He gives them the night off when a vampire killed three of his people. Shouldn't he be with the families right now?
"Then just go away." I whispered. I slipped further into the sheets and pulled them to my chin.
Jacob walked over and bent down to give me a kiss. I turned my head so he wouldn't, ignoring his face. "Fine. Be that way." he growled then stormed out of the bedroom. I put my fist in my mouth and sobbed, eventually falling back to sleep.
I know I woke up when Jacob walked in about an hour or so afterwards. "Nessie?" he called. "Are you awake? I want to talk to you."
I kept my breathing heavy and my eyes closed. I refused to show him that I was awake and wanted him. He refused to walk over and kiss me. So we just acted like we were both okay and he just closed the door. I eventually drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, I had pain in my chest. It came from Jacob. It was so bad that I had to grip my chest and pant. I could hear Jacob's hard breathing and moans. He must be having another nightmare.
"I'm not dead." I heard him mumble. I could see that in his dream me, and two young teenagers were leaning against Kaleb. We were all crying. Jake tried to shout at us but we couldn't hear him. He was banging on something but never got close to us.
"No!" Jake shouted and I shot out of bed, wincing. I had to be with Jacob despite everything that just happen. He never talks in his sleep. Lately he wakes up from his dreams terrified. That normally doesn't happen.
I walked down the hall and to the extra room where Jacob was sleeping. He was shaking, moving, moaning, talking in his sleep. His face showed pure fear. He looked so innocent that I wanted to cry. Even the biggest, strongest men like my Jacob can have their moments. Just this was bad enough to worry me.
"No, no, no…st-stop. I-I can't…" Jacob mumbled and that sent me into action. I rushed over to him and started trying to get him awake.
"Jake! My Jacob! Wake up!" I begged, shaking him as hard as I could. That only seemed to make things worse.
I grabbed one of his hands and held it tight while I moved the other from my stomach to his bare chest. I needed to try something.
I projected to him our future. Of how easily it can happen. I showed him two little black headed kids running through our glassy field. I showed him how we were chasing them. I made them so strong that they took place of the dream.
Jacob jolted awake and looked around, delusional and breathing heavy. I could see the tears falling from his eyes as he looked at me. Seeing him cry isn't something I often see and I know it's bad if he does it in front of me. He's different now but so am I. He's been hurt by the ones he loved the most. Me.
"Shhh…you're awake." I soothed, tracing my thumb over his cheek bone. He shook his head quickly, not believing me.
I scooted closer to him and he gripped my hand tighter. I traced the spot where his heart was, feeling it beat. He was as good as alive. He was mine. He may be different but there was one thing about him that wouldn't change. His heart.
"Believe me, my Jacob." I showed him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, his russet skin turning a bright shade of pink. He was blushing, which was so cute and very hot.
"Nessie…" Jacob breathed as he looked down at our clasped hands. I moved so that I was leaning against the headboard and his head was resting on my thigh. I started to run my hands through his hair and it relaxed him.
"It's okay." I reassured.
"It's not." he mumbled, looking away from me.
"Tell me."
"I was following some scent that I came across. Then I found you with Kaleb and two teenagers. They had to be our son and daughter because they looked like me and you. All of you were crying and talking about how I died. I couldn't get to you; and the girl said daddy and-"
"Calm down, my love. It's only a dream."
"It doesn't feel like it. I swear, if I didn't know better I would think Hailey would be doing this."
"It's just a dream." I said again, trying to hide my pain.
"But, Nessie, I died! Me! The one that's suppose to protect you! And then you screamed and couldn't get to you. So many people were calling for my help and I couldn't go anywhere!"
"Maybe that's a sign that you're not superman." I need to quit talking.
"I'm so sorry." Jacob said.
"For what?"
"I should have told you to leave. I knew you would try and get to me. I knew you were going to fight back. I should have never left you and Rachel alone. I let my pack down, my tribe, my family, our kids!"
Jacob's face flushed red this time of embarrassment as a few more tears slipped down his face. "And I'm sorry for what I said earlier."
"You were scared. You can loose everything. My life-our life is in limbo. If something bad happen now you loose not only me but the twins too." I showed my Jacob.
It didn't hit me until just then how this whole pregnancy thing was scary. I knew my life would be in limbo. That's just common, but to realize that I could go into early labor with no chance of living was something. I would make Jake loose everything. My family would miss me but Jacob would die right with us. Realizing this only made me want to fight more.
"We have so much to fight for, don't we?" he asked with innocent dark eyes.
"That and more." I answered.
Jake nodded and then rose up. He bent down and kissed my pregnant belly twice before moving closer to me. He put his hand lightly on my cheek and moved closer to my head. He got so close that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I thought he was going to kiss me but he didn't. Instead he just stared straight into my eyes.
"What?" I asked.
"How can I hate something I love?"
"You can."
"Not for long."
"You're right, though. I'm with you. I need to side with you. I need to support you in whatever decision you make. I will." I hinted, meaning for him going to college or whatever else he wanted to do.
Jacob smiled until I sucked in a breath of pain. One of the twins moved and hit a sore spot. It was a miracle that all of us are alive and here now.
Jacob let me squeeze his hand until the pain subsided. "Where does it hurt?" he asked seriously but I could see the smirk in his eyes.
I projected to him the spots that hurt on my stomach. Jacob backed up and kissed the spots that hurt. He looked up at me with a mischievous grin that I knew he had something up his sleeve. I couldn't help but giggle "Better?" he asked and I nodded.
"Give me one more than minute." Jacob said, looking down at my stomach.
"What are you doing?"
"This is between me and my children." Jacob told me. I put my hands up and he looked back down. "Hey, my two little monsters. Can you do one, big, huge favor for Daddy? Can you take it easy on your mama so she can get better? Then you can keep her up as many times as you want because I know once you two are here she'll make me do all the late night work." I slapped Jacob's shoulder. "I think she's jealous so I have to go back giving attention to her. Don't worry. In three short months you'll be the center of our world. Well, in mommy's. She'll bump me." Again. Another slap just this time on his head.
"Okay. I love you both." he kissed my stomach twice and turned his attention back to you.
"You know. I've got other places that are hurting." I flirted.
"Show me where, sweetheart." I pointed to my cheek and Jake moved, slightly kissing it. I then pointed to a spot on my neck underneath my chin. He gently tipped my head up and then kissed the spot. I thought he would stop there but he kissed both sides.
"Any where else?"
I smiled and tapped my lips. Jacob rose up eagerly. "How bad?" he asked as if he was a boy who found out what he got on his birthday. I couldn't help but laugh at his cuteness.
"Why don't you find out?" I flirted.
Jacob laughed and touched my lips slightly. I wanted him to kiss me but more than just a peck on the lips. Stupid pregnancy hormones. I might as well make it worth my while. So I grabbed Jacob and made him crash his lips onto mine. Pain shot through me and I felt Jacob wince. Neither of us cared. Jacob was kissing me and I wasn't about to ruin it.
Jacob pulled me as close as my stomach would allow him to pull me. Eventually I started to wince and Jacob pulled away. We plopped back against the bed, both dumbfounded to speak, or project in my case.
"Um…" Jake laughed. I smiled, still feeling his kisses. I was in pain but to bubbly to notice. "I was tired enough to go back to sleep, but now thanks to you, my lips do hurt."
"Please don't make me laugh." I begged, smiling like an idiot. "But I am tired and I don't think this bed is big enough for you, me, and the baby bump."
Jacob laughed for me but I could see that his smile was not reaching his eyes. I went back to running my hands through his hair. "You can't go to sleep yet." he said.
"Why?"
"Hold on one second." Jacob got up and walked out the room.
"Grab a notebook while you're up." I showed him. Maybe choosing baby names will make us feel better.
I laid down against the pillows, to tired to even sit up. I was exhausted. I didn't know it was because I was weak or fat.
I smelt the air. Jacob was amazing to read my mind. I could smell food coming down the hall. I didn't know if it was because I was hungry, tired, or maybe a mixture of both.
My eyes were near shut when Jacob walked through the door carrying two bowls of leftover spaghetti and sat down in front of me. My stomach growled but I didn't sit up. I don't even think I could eat.
I slowly sat up and took the bowl, only toying the noodles. "Whoa! Not hungry?" Jake joked. I glared at him. Now he took some of my cravings too. His bottomless pit stomach got worse.
"Just tired." I wearily started eating. Jacob closed his eyes and shook his head. He was thinking about today. I was too tired to even care about today.
We finished eating and I plopped back down, wincing. I'm to the point of saying forget Christmas and let me sleep.
"What are we going to do about tomorrow?" I felt bad for Rachel, Paul, and their son. They can't enjoy Christmas. It would be Will's first Christmas and they couldn't enjoy it as a family.
"Hang here, I guess. They'll probably be so many people in and out of the house so much that you won't be able to rest."
"I can rest. It's just this one is important. And I can't hide from my other grandmother forever."
No."
"But Jacob…"
"Fine. We'll see." Jake stated, giving up. "Now close your eyes." he ordered. I gave him a look. If I closed my eyes I would fall asleep.
"I know you said you didn't want a Christmas gift but technically it isn't."
I raised my eyebrow and Jake took my wrist and put the bracelet on. I smiled. I was so happy to see it on my wrist but I could not remember why I loved this bracelet so much.
"It's still the same. I didn't get you anything."
"I've got all I've ever needed right here." Jacob smiled. "Now why do you need a notebook."
I took the little black notebook out of Jacob's hands and wrote down all our chosen boy names. "Read these off loud and slow." I ordered.
Jacob gave me a weird look. "Um…okay. Charles Edward. Edward Jacob…do I continue?"
I didn't feel any movement from my soft kicker so I nodded. "Jacob Anthony, Mason Lucas, Lawson Jacob. Jacob Edward-definitely not that."
Still no movement I gave Jacob a look. "Do you have any more?"
"I do. How about Sage Edward?"
I felt movement from my little soft kicker and smiled. I liked it. It was unique and original at the same time. Jake got his original and I got my namesake. It was a kill two birds with one stone.
"Wise." I mused, laughing at the meaning. He'll need it. "We both get what we want. My unique and namesake and your original. It fits, and he likes it."
I wrote down our girls names and Jacob did the same. "Here we go. Madison Rose. Allison Gabrielle. Adrian Marie. Really? Riley? No. Forget that one. Arahbelle Rebecca Marie…Grace Isabelle." Jacob smiled at the last name. Right after he said it, our daughter moved. Or it could be because Kaleb was near.
"You like it?" Grace was his mother's middle name.
"Sage and Grace." He said, looking down at my stomach.
"What's wrong?" I asked, worried when I saw his serious face.
"I don't want them to imprint, Ness. They have to choose. I don't want them to get hurt like we did."
My smile fell. I was so close to telling him about what my theory of Kaleb imprinting on Grace and now I was afraid again. I hoped I would soon find the guts before things got out of hand.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
Jacob's point of view:
Sage Edward and Grace Isabelle. I loved them. Wise and in favor. Scary but true. I loved that Nessie wanted to put my mother in with our child. Even when I didn't want the names to be put together, we still found a way to put our mothers with our daughter. I just hoped that my son and daughter wouldn't feel that they have to live up to their namesakes.
I saw the blank look on Nessie's face when she looks at her bracelet She tried to hide it but her exhaustion couldn't help it. She didn't remember the meaning of it. It scared me. What next would she forget?
Nessie being in pain was my fault. I should have never told her to stay. I wasn't thinking straight and we got injured. I knew something was going to happen but I ignored it. I put my imprint, my sister, my brothers, my tribe, and my twins at risk. What would be next? Either me or her dying? Then I had to cry like a freaking baby while she needed to rest. How can she get stronger if I keep making her weak by loosing my temper like I do. I say things that I think but don't mean to say. It's even worse when some bloodsucker makes you feel like your shot up with Novocain.
Just tonight I kept Renesmee up. I would kiss her. I would kiss my son and daughter as they kept up her up. I would kiss her injured spots. It was hard knowing that I could loose them and Nessie. I'm not man enough to say get rid of him because I love them too. I always said I would put their mother first, but I'm kissing all over her pregnant stomach.
"I love you, Jacob. More than my own life." Nessie croaked and I winced. She kissed my injured shoulder that was almost healed. I was happy I could finally feel again. I knew if Nessie found out how bad Finn's gift really was would crush her.
"Que Qwoule." I whispered against her neck.
We stayed up talking, kissing, slowly slipping off into our own world where reality wouldn't bother us. Right now we both needed that. A world where it was just me and her. There was nobody to wake us up and tell us the responsibilities of the real world. We wouldn't have cared if they did anyway.
"Uh-huh." Nessie mumbled, her eyes growing heavier by the minute. She kissed me one last time before her lips went slack and Nessie's head hit my shoulder.
I laid her sacked out body down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Renesmee." I moved to her stomach and kissed it twice. "I love you too, Sage and Gracie." I whispered.