(A.N. The rewrite is coming along rather nicley! And for all of you who really like this fanfic I am writing a sister fiction to it, it is going to be just a bunch of Danielle's memories about her and Dallas, her family, the night dallas was killed, yadayadayada. If you are wondering that is where Danielle's nightmare in the beginning of this chapter was taken from!)

DISCLAMER: I do not own the Outsiders or any characters but Danielle!

Chapter 3 – What is to Become of Me?

Danielle's POV

"You'll never get me alive!" My eyes went wide when he pulled out his gun,

"Dallas don't do it! No!" I had screamed at the top of my lungs before I started running over to him, he turned for a split second towards me before the shots rang out...

I opened my eyes. I had no idea where I was. I shot up and felt the adrenaline coursing through me and I started to cry a little from the dream. Two hands on my shoulders kept me from moving, my vision began to sharpen and I saw who was standing over me.

"Ponyboy? Where am I what's going o..." He cut me off and pressed one finger to his lips.

"Your in the hospital sweetie, you, you cut your, you tried to kill yourself. I thought for sure you would never wake up," He gently swept the hair out of my face. I was so confused, the only thing that my mind was able to process at that moment was my dream. Then I looked down at my wrists and started to cry even more, I was not only hurting myself, but other people too.

"You went into a coma for four weeks, you had lost to much blood. They told us you would never wake up," I could see he was about to cry. He sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug and started sobbing a little to himself, he was probably afraid of someone else dying, even if he hated them he probable wouldn't have been able to take it.

"I came here everyday after school, but they kept telling me the same thing, that you probably wouldn't make it, I guess they were wrong!" He smiled and let the tears slide down his face when he let me go, but he quickly wiped them off his face.

"I donated blood for you, it kept you alive I guess," I sat up and hugged him close to me again. He held the back of my head and we both sat there crying for a minute, neither of us wanting to let go, I guess the hate between us was now gone,

"I'm going to call Sodapop and Darry, okay, I will be right back," He jumped up and practically ran out of the door. I laughed to myself and looked around me. I was border than a rock and if I didn't find something to do withing five minutes I was going to fall back asleep, and that wasn't very appealing to me. I found one of those stupid push for emergency buttons. Just to be a bitch, I hit it. Within three minutes the doctor was standing in the doorway. I looked at him, smiled and said,

"Hey, I'm awake, God do you guys have room service here? I'm starving!" The doctor seemed shocked that I was even awake and moving. He rushed around me checking my vital signs. I guess I was fine so he left. I looked down at my arms again, my happy mood quickly left my body.

I sat there for twenty minutes playing with my bandages until Sodapop came running through the doorway, he gave me a huge hug, I felt like I was going to suffocate. I saw that he had been crying, Ponyboy too.

"Whats wrong? Why are you guys crying?" I was confused, they shouldn't be upset, I was alive (even though I had full intentions of not being so), and where was Darry?

"You can't come home Danny, Darry says you can't" Soda looked up, his eyes were puffed up and red, Pony's were too, except tears were still falling out of his. I looked down and accepted this. I knew I had put them through hell. I deserved it, I didn't deserve people that actually cared about me. Plus I probably drained all of Darry's money with Ponyboy forcing them not to pull the plug. I scared them, they thought I was gone for good, that they lost another person in their lives. Darry was only trying to protect them.

Pony grabbed Soda by the arm, "Let's go see if we can calm Darry down, he might change his mind. Go start the car, I'll be right there."

"Alright Ponyboy." Soda slowly stalked out of the room, making sure all of the signs of his tears were gone. Ponyboy slowly walked over to me and sat at the edge of the bed. His face was only inches away from mine. He leaned in, closing his eyes, putting his hands on my face and planting his lips gently on mine. When he pulled away, I only wanted more, not to have him leave me, not to hate him anymore, maybe even to have him for myself. He stood up, tears still streaming down his face

"That was just in case I never see you again," And then he walked away, shutting the door silently behind him. He would see me again, I swear to it...

Ponyboy's POV

When I walked out of that room, I felt torn, between my brothers and and the girl I was falling in love with, I hated her, before everything, I hated her. God I felt like an idiot, I kissed her and Darry might never even let me see her again. I was such an idiot. I walked through the hospital halls avoiding the room where Johnny had been put after the fire.

Once I got outside I opened the passenger door and slammed it shut after I got in.

"Soda, do you think we could change Darry's mind?" I asked.

"Yeah if we work hard, it will be just about as hard as it is to dye your hair back brown, which ain't easy at all unless we spend a bunch of money." Soda responded.

"So you want us to spend money on him?" I tried to lighten the mood, but my dry humor wasn't fooling either of us.

"No, we just need to be persistent. We have a week until she gets out of the hospital so we have a week to convince him." Soda ended the conversation by simply starting the trucks engine and driving off towards home. I thought deeply while we were driving home, mostly about what happened over the past few months, but mostly about death. God had taken away someone who hadn't wanted to die, a sixteen year old boy whose life should have been spared. In replacement, he had left a broken down, depressed, suicidal fifteen year old girl who had no one left she cared about except for a horse, and she was desperate for an end, it sounds like a rather unfair trade if you were to ask me...

(Three days later at the cemetery, still Pony's POV)

I held the two flowers in my hand as I walked toward the graves. It was easy to spot them, compared to all of the other grave's Dally and Johnny's were relatively new, no grass was growing on them yet. Since the snow from the Blizzard had melted, I thought I mite as well visit before it started to snow again. I placed a flower on each of their headstones. Quickly sitting down against the side of Johnny's, facing Dally's.

I knew I was supposed to be somewhere else, but I just continued picking at the grass around the graves, I wasn't very comfortable being at the cemetery, I just don't dig the fact that people will bury someone's body to rot, but I guess that's just how it works. I took a deep breath and began talking quietly, acting like someone might hear me who wasn't supposed to,

"I don't exactly know how I'm supposed to do this Dal, so I'm just gonna' talk and hope your listening." I took another deep breath, "Danielle tried to kill herself because you died, she, she hasn't been eating and she cut herself so many times I almost couldn't stop the bleeding, the ambulance almost didn't come" I could feel sobs beginning to shake my body, "Darry says he ain't gonna' let her back in the house, he doesn't want to deal with her trying it again." I let the tears run freely down my face, they began landing in a puddle on the cold marble headstone. "She went into a coma, we thought she would never wake up, you never should have died, because now she wants to die too,"

I stood up off of the ground, brushing off my pant legs as I did so. I touched the cool marble of Dal's headstone and quietly said,

" If you can do it, you have to help us, I love her and I can't loose her too," and then slowly sliding my hand off the headstone, I walked away.

Tears were still flowing from my eyes while I walked back to the house, but I couldn't help it, me and soda can't get Darry to even budge, I think he won't ever change his mind about her coming back, I only wish that I knew what was going through his head. When I reached the gate to the house I opened it slowly and heard the screen door slam and felt Soda's arms wrapped around me.

"She can stay, Pony," I heard him whisper into my shoulder,

"What?" I questioned, I was shocked, genuinely shocked,

"Darry's gonna' let her stay, Pone" I only remember letting go of Soda for a brief moment before I felt Darry's arms around us both. "Thank you Dallas," I said as I looked to the sky, a large smile on my face, my wish had been granted...

Danielle's POV

I haven't seen them, not even Pony since I heard the news, and since he kissed me. I still don't understand why he did that, why he sat at my bedside for all that time, why he even cared about me, I thought we hated each other. The feelings clearly weren't mutual on that one. I still became upset whenever my eyes wandered over to the bandeges.

I had spent the past few days annoying the crap out of the nurses and the doctors, and I'll admit, it was pretty funny. But soon it got boring. I was longing for Ponyboy, whenever I think about him, I get this weird feeling in my stomach and I can't quite put a finger on what it is, well, at least not now anyways.

It was Thursday afternoon, I was supposed to be released into someone's custody on Sunday morning, but I'm just going to end up getting picked up by a foster home. I dreaded that day and each time I thought about it I remember Ponyboy's words,

"That was just in case I never see you again," What if I don't ever see him again? I will have to go my whole life wondering what could be and what might have been between us. Maybe there was already more between us than I realized. He had kept me alive. He could have been like Darry and ran to lock himself into his room, but he didn't. He stayed strong and did all he could to save my life.

When I have nightmares about these thoughts, I just think in my head about Ponyboy's voice, singing that lullaby until I fall asleep, but I can't fall asleep without him singing it to me. Then when I do fall asleep, the gunshots won't stop ringing through my head...