A Lapse of Memory
Chapter 4
by Contrail

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, and is being used without permission. No profit is being made from this story.

It didn't take very long for Juvia to discover why Gajeel had referred to Gray as a stripper. That incident did make her blush quite heavily, though, particularly since she couldn't quite keep herself from taking curious peeks through the fingers she covered her eyes with. Not that what he looked like without his clothes on was the only thing she wondered about him, or even wondered about the most! While she knew that it was probably only a matter of time before a cure to her memory loss was found, not knowing anything about someone who had obviously been very important to her didn't sit well with her. So she set out to get to know Gray again.

While she would have preferred to do that by talking to him, unfortunately, Gray couldn't seem to stand to be around her. Any time she tried to talk with him for any length of time, he quickly made an excuse to leave. So Juvia had to resort to asking other people about him and watching him from afar to learn about him. She soon discovered that while he seemed a bit cold and uncaring at first glance, he cared deeply about the other members of Fairy Tail. Gray was rather prideful as well, but that pride was justified by his genuine skill at using Ice-Make magic. Overall, she could well understand why she'd fallen so deeply in love with him before, even if she no longer felt that way without the memories of how she'd come to love him.

But he persisted in giving her the cold shoulder, and it was clear that she was the only member of the guild he treated in such a fashion. She couldn't help wondering why that was. Juvia had seen the evidence of the overwhelming affection she'd had for Gray before losing her memory, and she suspected that that was the reason for his keeping his distance from her. Had she acted like such a fool around him that he wanted nothing to do with her, even though she no longer had any intention of acting like that, and just wanted to get to know him again?

That was the line of thought she was dwelling on one morning when she nearly ran into Erza in Fairy Hills' lobby. "Oh! Sorry, Erza-san," she apologized, feeling a little embarrassed that she'd been too caught up in her own thoughts to notice her earlier.

Erza gave her a reassuring smile. "It's all right. How are you doing? You've seemed a bit down lately."

"Ah, it's just… Juvia's memories. And Gray-san," she answered, her expression a bit downcast.

"Would you like to go get some breakfast? You could talk about it while we eat," Erza offered, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

"Juvia would like that, if you have the time to spare," she said with a small smile. Since Juvia joined Fairy Tail, Erza had gone out of her way to make sure that she felt welcome there and was included in activities with the other girls. She really appreciated the older girl's efforts, and Juvia felt comfortable confiding things in her that she wouldn't tell most others.

Before too long, they were seated in a nearby cafe with their breakfasts in front of them. Erza was having waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream, while Juvia had chosen blueberry pancakes. After eating quietly for a few minutes, Juvia broke the silence. "Juvia thought that it would become easier to deal with having lost some of her memories with time, but it hasn't really. Having an idea of what it is she's forgotten just gives her more questions to wonder about. Knowing that she forgot everything about someone who was important to her, and having to try to put that knowledge back together piece by piece until she gets her memory back… It weighs on her thoughts."

Erza gave her an encouraging smile. "I'm sure it's been tough, but Levy's working hard on finding a solution for you. She'll figure out something soon."

"Juvia is tired of waiting," she muttered with a sigh, dragging a bite of pancake through the syrup on her plate. "The worst part is Gray-san. He is always so cold to Juvia whenever she tries to talk to him. Juvia has seen that he only treats her that way. He isn't so cold towards any other member of the guild, even those he doesn't talk to much. Juvia…" She bit her lower lip, hesitating for a long moment before confessing the core of what was really bothering her about the situation. "Juvia thinks he must not like her at all. She knows she used to act crazy around him, she was able to piece that much together. Her behavior must have been so excessive and embarrassing that Gray-san wants nothing to do with her, even now when all she wants to do is be friends and get to know him again…" Her words trailed off sadly.

"Oh, Juvia… That isn't how things were at all." Erza reached out and laid her hand atop the younger girl's in a comforting gesture, pausing a moment to get her thoughts in order. "You and Gray… The two of you were close. While he did get embarrassed by how enthusiastic you were in your affection for him sometimes, he usually enjoyed your company. There are others in the guild that he's known for longer or spends more time around, but he responds to you in ways he doesn't with anyone else. You're special to him."

Juvia just sat there looking at Erza, her eyes wide with surprise and a faint blush on her cheeks. When she finally spoke, her confusion was clear in her voice. "But, if that's the case… Then why does Gray-san always avoid talking to Juvia?"

Erza shook her head a little, smiling sadly. "It's because you were close that Gray avoids you. He doesn't say anything about it, but I can tell it hurts him that you don't remember him. Think about how you would feel if someone you were close to no longer recognized you or treated you like they usually did."

"Oh." She felt bad that she'd thought Gray'd been distant because he didn't like her, when really it was the opposite. She'd been so focused on how the memory loss was affecting her that she hadn't thought about how he might be feeling about the situation. "Juvia had no idea. What should she do now?"

"I think you should let him keep his distance for now. In time, either you'll get your memories back or he'll manage to accept that this is how things are for now and stop avoiding you."

Juvia nodded thoughtfully. Erza's advice made sense - she wouldn't be able to get what she'd wanted out of talking to Gray with how things were now, so trying to do so would just hurt him more. She wished there was a better option, but… "I'll do that. Thank you for the advice, Erza-san."

"You're welcome," Erza replied with a small smile. As they continued their breakfast, Juvia noticed that she felt better now than she had before the two girls had talked. She guessed she'd needed to get her problems off her chest. And when they made their way to the guild later, she'd start putting Erza's advice into action.

Next Chapter: A way has been found for Juvia to get her memories back! But will Gray be willing to go through what's necessary to use it?

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and/or followed this story! :^)