A Lapse of Memory
Chapter 5
by Contrail

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, and is being used without permission. No profit is being made from this story.

Upon returning to the guild after his team's next mission was completed, Gray was quickly greeted by an excited-looking Levy. "Gray! I think I've worked out a solution to Juvia's memory problems."

That certainly got his attention immediately. Giving her a surprised but somewhat hopeful look, he asked, "Really?"

Levy nodded, her expression quickly settling into a more serious one. "I'm going to need your help for it, though, and I'm not sure you'll like what I'd be asking of you…"

He doubted that there was much he wouldn't be willing to do to aid Juvia in getting her memories back. Still, he frowned a little as he asked, "What plan have you come up with? What would I need to do?"

"As I told you before, all we really need to do is get Juvia's memories to surface from under the block that was placed on them. Once that happens, the magic blocking them should dissolve on its own. And it occurred to me that if we figured out a way to share someone else's memories of what she's missing with her, they'd bring out her version of them."

Gray thought it sounded like a sound theory. "Okay. I take it you've figured out a way to manage that?"

"Yes. Juvia's report about Tenrou Island mentioned that the girl she fought, Meredy, used a magic that linked people's senses. As their battle progressed, it started transmitting emotions and memories between the two of them as well. We know that one of these links can be established between you and Juvia since it was done successfully before."

He vaguely remembered that occurrence - he'd felt sensations and had physical reactions that the other people in the link experienced, which had been very strange at the time since he hadn't fully understood what was going on. He hadn't experienced any sort of memory or emotional transfer like Levy had described, but that could be because Juvia and Meredy had been in closer physical proximity to each other. Uneasily, he asked, "So, you want to have Meredy set up a link between Juvia and me and have me transfer my memories of her across it?"

"That's right. Whatever emotions you were feeling in those memories will probably transfer alongside them, though." Levy bit her lip, looking uncertain about how he'd react now that the plan had been fully detailed.

To be honest, Gray was feeling torn over what Levy was asking him to do. On the one hand, he really wanted to help Juvia regain her memories. The sooner she could return to normal, the better. But on the other hand, a part of him flinched from the idea of sharing not just his memories but what he'd felt during them with someone else, even Juvia… "I- Uh, can I have some time to think about it?"

"Sure," Levy replied with a nod, a look of understanding on her face. "But keep in mind that the sooner you come to a decision, the sooner I can start trying to get in touch with Meredy. Since she's a member of Crime Sorcière, contacting her and arranging for her assistance will take some time."

"I get it," he replied with a nod before turning and walking out of the guild. He needed to think things over, and the normal rowdy atmosphere in there wasn't conducive to that kind of pursuit. So he made his way to the river that runs through Magnolia and sat down on top of the steep bank, looking down into the river. It was a good spot for thinking. He'd even found Erza crying here once, back when they were kids.

Sighing he put his chin in one of his hands and propped his elbow up on his knee. Why did he have to be given this kind of choice? He wanted Juvia to get her memories back. He wanted things between him and Juvia to return to normal as soon as possible. And this idea of Levy's was the first decent shot at accomplishing those things they'd managed to come up with. He really didn't want to pass up this chance.

…But going through with it meant sharing his memories and emotions with Juvia. If it had been just his memories that would be shared, he'd have already agreed to do it. Add in what he'd been feeling during those memories, though, and he just didn't know if he could bring himself to do it. He never liked sharing his feelings and other personal things with other people, and it sounded like this would be even more… intimate than just telling someone what he was feeling. And while Juvia was one of the very few people he'd even consider honestly talking about things like that with, add in the fact that the memories, and therefore the feelings, that he would be transferring would be all about her and, well…

Erza, and even Gajeel, of all people, wanted him to make his feelings clear to Juvia, but his feelings towards her weren't even clear to himself. He definitely found her attractive with her long blue curls, big dark blue eyes, and those legs… And he really enjoyed spending time with her when she wasn't acting all crazy about him. She was someone important to him. He knew she loved him, and part of him wanted to give her a chance, see where things would go.

He definitely didn't like the way she would so publicly (and embarrassingly) declare her love for him at times, though. Or the strange notions she'd get into her head sometimes. And even beyond that, there was a part of him that was uncomfortable with how close he'd let her get to him, one that wanted to push her away. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, but it was what had motivated his cold rejection of Juvia's declaration of love at the ball held after the Grand Magic Games. It might have something to do with how vulnerable her sincere affection for him sometimes made him feel, or how he just couldn't seem to remain unaffected by her actions.

If he couldn't even make sense of the emotions he felt about her himself, how could he explain them to her, particularly since she was prone to misunderstanding things he said? And now he was looking at the prospect of dumping his feelings about her into her head along with his memories. How would she react to the experience?

The sound of familiar steps approaching broke him out of his thoughts. Looking up and behind him, he called, "Hey, Erza."

"Gray," she acknowledged with a nod as she sat down next to him. "Levy told me about her plan to help Juvia with her memories."

"I see…" There was silence for a short time, as Erza waited for him to say something more and Gray debated whether or not to broach a certain topic with her. Finally, Gray asked slowly, "If you could've done something like this, when Jellal had lost his memory… Would you have?"

Erza, after an initial surprised blink, got a thoughtful expression on her face. Well, at least she hadn't gotten upset because he brought up Jellal, which was often a delicate subject around her. Though it seemed to be less so recently. Eventually, she responded, "I think I would have, yes. But that doesn't mean I can't understand your reluctance to go through with this. Still, I would have thought that you'd be willing to trust her with your feelings."

"It's not that I don't trust her…" he muttered, looking away from Erza with an uncomfortable expression. While he didn't think he'd ever like sharing what he felt with other people, if he had to do it Juvia was one of the few that he'd be willing to confide in. He knew that she'd never intentionally do something to hurt him.

"Then what's bothering you about the idea?"

He shifted his legs, bringing them up to his chest so he could rest his arms across his knees. "…Knowing the stuff I feel about her will just confuse her, and Juvia gets enough weird ideas about us in her head already."

Erza hemmed in response. "Would that really be worse to deal with than the current situation, though? Juvia was starting to think that you disliked her because of how you've been avoiding her."

He snapped his head around to stare at her. "She what?!"

"Don't worry, I was able to convince her that wasn't the case. Can you blame her for thinking that, though? She has no idea how you normally treat her."

Gray had to turn away from her steady gaze, hunching his shoulders and grumbling, "I guess not." He hadn't thought about how his behavior would come off to Juvia…

"She was pretty upset about it," Erza continued. "So I ask you again, would it really be worse if you went through with trying to cure her?"

He couldn't help grimacing a bit after hearing how his actions had made her feel. The way things were right now was hurting them both, but… If he shared what he felt about Juvia with her, he'd never be able to convince her that he only saw her as a friend and nakama. She'd never let him successfully push her away if she knew part of him wanted to accept her affections. Pushing her away wasn't what he really wanted to do, though, was it? Because as much as part of him wanted to do that, if the past few weeks were a taste of what that would be like, he didn't want there to be such distance between them more.

Letting out a deep sigh, Gray said, "No, it wouldn't be. I'll do it."

"Good. You know Juvia would've agreed to it, too, if your places were reversed," she remarked with a smile.

He rolled his eyes with a snort. "Juvia would agree to jump off a cliff if she thought it would help me." But there was affection mixed in with the exasperation in his voice.

Next Chapter: The attempt to restore Juvia's memory! Will it work?

Thank you once again to everyone who's reviewed and followed this story! :^)