It was impressive how, after so much time all those memories were so clear; I looked around me and recognized the Montecchio mansion as it was before having part of it destroyed by the great earthquake; I know this but I couldn't precise the day we had come back to; intrigued and up to a certain point still astonished with this power, I commented with Enmie:
It is incredible that after all these years… this memory is still so livid…
That is probably because – replied Enmie, with a very well-known voice to me, very old and nostalgic, even though I couldn't really remember whose it was – the fact those memories have a lot of emotional charge attached to them… lets watch and understand what clouds your heart Richard…
You are right Enmie – I replied in the same moment we noticed something.
Through the main entrance came an old lady nekomimi already on her sixties, when I laid my eyes on her they filled with tears, seeing she was no one else than my dearly Nina; she was conducting with her paw a small boy that, judging by the different clothes he was using I soon comprehended it was myself twenty two years ago, when I was around six; I remembered very well that day until a certain point where everything turned to black; with my mind set on finding out the truth, we continued watching:
"- Grandma Nina! Thanks for buying me a present! Mommy almost never gives me a present! – the boy then hugged the good nekomimi – I love you grandma!
That is good my little man… - replied Nina, petting my head and smiling – I would do anything for my favorite Montecchio.
This toy car is what I wanted most! – said the little one, looking at the ground in sequence – mommy never gives me presents… just my brothers… - tears began rolling down his cheeks then.
Ohhh don't be like that my little man… - Nina replied and kneed before the boy – maybe she is just keeping the best and biggest present for you… - she then fondled my head.
But… I just wanted… - the boy sobbed while crying and talking – she had a little… more time to me…
Calm my dear… just wait… - Nina then hugged me at that instant – I am sure that…
As soon as Nina said those words, a teen boy showed up behind them, at that instant I felt my stomach becoming really upset, something near panic; even with the shadows making it harder to see him, I knew very well the person that was there and as soon as he took my little toy car on his hands, his face became visible; at the same instant I began having a panic attack and I even fell sitting on the ground , I placed my hands over my head and began muttering constantly:
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me… I didn't do it on purpose… I didn't do it on purpose… I didn't do… - I stopped at this part when I felt Enmie's soft paw touch my hand.
Richard, this is just a movie… - she then smiled and offered to help me stand up – nothing of this is really happening… it already did… won't happen again…
Oh… you are right Enmie… - I replied while standing up – this despair always hit me when my brother – I pointed then to the teen boy – Montecchio Gabriel comes to my mind.
He must have done something really serious to traumatize you to this extent… - commented Enmie hugging me right afterwards – let's keep watching, ok?
Yes… - I replied and continued to focus on the vision of what was going on, holding Enmie's paw.
Gabriel was blonde and had blue eyes; he was dressed as the oldest son and successor of the Montecchio family with the son's leader ring included, he was eleven years old and very strong, as he was training his body rigorously every day, as he wished to follow the military career when he grew up; as soon he walked a few steps away he shouted, scaring both me and Nina:
You are such a coward! How can you abuse our so "loved" – he air quoted with his fingers that word – personal caretaker and make her spend the pocket change daddy gives her just so as she gets you a present, spoiled boy? – he then spat on my face.
Gabriel stop that – Nina ordered him.
The old slave lady wants to give me orders! What do you think you are to direct words to me? – replied Gabriel, taunting her – shut yourself up right now or else…
Or else what? – asked Nina, going towards my brothers.
I shall tell mommy you attacked us, Gabriel replied calmly.
N… No… - replied Nina, paralyzed in fear, as she was very afraid of doing anything against my brothers, to the point she almost panicked every time it was mentioned.
Now regarding you spoiled crybaby – he then placed himself in front of me, kicking me on the middle of the chest and throwing my toy car on the ground – this is for you to learn not to try to get any advantage over us – he then stepped on the toy, crushing it; going towards his bed then.
At that instant I entered a crying spree that made everything around me become blurred, Nina took me then until the infirmary so as I could calm down; then she took me to the bedroom where she played the piano to me, making myself calm down enough so I could sleep, the sadness on her eyes was visible though; that was when the scene froze.
Your brother was evil indeed – commented Enmie after the scene stopped – Nina on the other hand, loved you quite a lot…
Yes I could feel in her a love much bigger than anything alike I could have ever felt with my mother… - pondered for some instants – but just a small episode like that could generate something so bad to the point of leaving me vulnerable to spirits?
No, something like this wouldn't generate a so strong negative feeling – she then pointed to the frozen scene – because we see that every day in families where bothers don't like each other when small and, years later, have a way closer relationship… probably this doesn't stop here, let's keep watching.
Then the scene blurred and then it switched to the boy with a coffee and cookies tray on my hands, I remembered that I had asked to Nina for ways to try and become friends of my older brother and the others too, she then suggested that I took a small snack to him in his room as a present for completing his twelfth year of life; upon entering his bedroom I found no one on, so I let the tray over his studies table and sat myself on the ground so as to wait for him; I noticed some magazines on the ground and decided to look at them, I remember to be first time I saw a pornographic magazine in my life; I was completely astonished with what I saw, to the point of not noticing that Gabriel had returned, just becoming aware he did once he shouted at me:
You insolent! How dare you enter my bedroom and touch what isn't yours? – he then pointed to the magazine I had in my possession.
S… S… Sorry brother! I… I… just… - I was going to point to the tray that had the snack I brought him when I accidentally hit it with my hand and knocked it, spilling coffee over the other magazines that were arranged on the ground, beside the table.
LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! – he then ran towards me, grabbing me by my shirt and throwing me against the wall – you just ruined my magazines! Do you know how hard it is to get those being a minor? How do you intend to fix this fuckup of yours?
S… S… Sorry brother! I just wanted… to bring you coffee… and becoming friends… - replied the boy, already with tears on his eyes.
Becoming friends? – Gabriel then cackled mockingly, spitting at my face – don't make me laugh! I will destroy you runt, so I won't have to deal with you anymore.
Gabriel then began beating me up as intensively as a mixed martial artist; punches, kicks on the stomach, knees on my intimate regions; everything the boy was able to do was to cry louder at each hit and it was clear that didn't go unnoticed by the other two brothers, that arrived next, astonished by what was going on, asking in sequence:
Gabriel! What are you doing? – asked the second oldest, Montecchio Dante.
Hey! You finally took the poor runt to punish him as he deserves? – also asked the third oldest, Montecchio Dimitri.
Yes! He destroyed our magazines, – he then pointed to them, ruined by the coffee – that is why I am thinking in punishing him as the slaves on those magazines, what do you think about helping me?
Ohhh that would be cool! – replied Dante, nearing himself and joining the assault after locking the door behind him
Leave this to me! – said Dimitri after immobilizing me with an arm lock.
After long minutes of slow and painful torture, they apparently grew tired of it after I lost my senses for the first time; that was when Gabriel looked at the open page of the magazine I was browsing earlier, probably having an idea in sequence, which was handed to the other brothers:
Ohhh, of course brother, we shall help you! – replied Dante and Dimitri together.
Let's just wait the idiot wake up, otherwise it won't be fun! – Gabriel replied while waiting the boy return to his senses, without letting go of the boy's arm and keep locking it in a perfect arm lock, behind his back.
Moments later the boy woke up and noticed he was immobilized, tried to move himself and failed miserably; that was when the brothers noticed it and prepared to do what they had in mind, grabbing me by the arm and pants, forcing me to get on all fours; that was when the boy probably understood what was going on, trying to break free in sequence:
Brother, stop please! – I begged, with his arm more and more stuck in an arm lock on his back; he wasn't understanding why they were doing this to him – it is hurting!
Ohhh do you think this hits runt? – said the older brother, ripping my pants aside, followed by the sound of an opening zipper – you shall see what is pain!
That was when it happened and I remembered everything regarding those incidents, Gabriel ripped my pants and opened the zipper on his, positioned himself behind me and spitting on his own penis next and, putting his member against the entrance of my anus, he grabbed my waist and with a strong push, penetrated me with extreme violence; I howled in pain, begging "TAKE IT OUT! IT HURTS! A LOT! TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OOOOUUUT!" but my brother didn't stop, he kept violating and molesting my dignity; this time I shouted the while time, that just made my brothers violence raise and made Nina desperate knock the door so as to let her inside, my mom never knew about this; as soon as he ejaculated inside of me, the let me there as an old rag cloth, the vision stopped, Enmie looked at me and said:
My Saint Meow Richard… I am speechless… - she said, using her powers on me.
That Enmie… - replied totally shocked and shacking, seeing I remembered everything at that moment – is just the tip of the iceberg…
W… What? – Enmie asked astonished, when the memories continued.
That was when Enmie witnessed the two long years my brothers molested me, brought friends to participate on the "orgies" in which they abused me on all ways possible and conceivable; in all of the times, I would have the same glazed eyes Yumi had when I raped her; Enmie was horrified with everything considering the faces she was making, until a certain point, two years after the first time it happened; our mother caught us, my brother and I, red handed then she beaten me quite a lot for "corrupting" her beloved son, locking me inside the slave's punishing room while all others were enjoying the party, I wished from the bottom of my heart that that them all died; moments later that earthquake hit, soon I know from Nina that all of them were actually dead; terror invaded me thinking I was their murderer, making me seal all these memories and hatred that I had inside of me, until today… that was when I noticed we were back at the infirmary, that was when I said:
That is… Enmie… what happened… with me…
My Saint Meow Richard… I never… imagined something like that… - Enmie then helped me sitting, staying standing beside me – but that explains us a lot of things… it isn't just one feeling that gives access to your enemies to you… but two…
What do you mean? – I asked intrigued.
One of the feelings that torments you is that… - then Enmie pointed to my head – as you were a child, you wished for someone's death… that scared you and the earthquake that happened right after, with their death that happened in sequence; the terror of, in your head, causing the death of someone else made that you sealed everything related to these events inside of you… this blame you place on yourself is one of your problems…
I comprehend… - I replied, seeing that made complete sense – and what would be the other cause?
Considering everything… - said Enmie, pointing to my chest – that happened with you… you loved your brothers, isn't it true?
M… Me? – I replied, with tears already on my eyes – y… yes… just never… forgave them… for what they did…
Then there is where the second problem is – stated Enmie, showing two fingers of her paws – you have two options.
And which would they be? – I asked avid for answers.
The first one is to forgive yourself now that you are an adult and understand that the earthquake was a coincidence, and you weren't the responsible for the death of your siblings and parents – Enmie then made paw signals to explain what she wanted to say – also to show how evolved your soul is by forgiving them for the harm they did to you… you once forgave the rapists that attacked Kikuri, why not your brothers?
O… Or? – I asked, seeing that the idea of forgiving my brothers was something I never dreamed about.
Or you can stay eternally stuck in the cycle of pain, guilty and hatred that happens in this family for over twenty years… - she replied looking to the ground – and keep being a victim of this subjugation.
B… But Enmie! – I exclaimed revolted – the victim here is myself! Why need I to forgive them if it was just towards me the harm was made?
Richard… it wasn't just yourself that got harmed with all this – she then pointed beside me, in the empty space – they also stack pretty heavy debts for what they have done, paying each penny they owe for it until today… they suffer as much as you do and need as much help as you…
I understand… - I replied looking at the ground too – but am I really able to forgive them, let everything behind me and restart fresh?
That is something just you can answer to you Richard – Enmie sighted, pondering – however this really petrified your feelings since that age… didn't you comprehend that this bothering sensation you feel when someone gets near you is a result of those extremely bad experiences? Wouldn't you like to live normally from now on as a normal person?
Yes… and a lot… - I replied, completely sad – being unable to love made very deep scars in me…
You aren't unable to love Richard – replied Enmie in a completely different voice – in the very few times you let feelings enter your life, you managed to have a kind of normal relationship; as with Leandro, Lívia, Nina, Yumi and more recently with Akira…
What should I do then? – I asked completely lost regarding the path I should walk right now.
Just forgive your brothers as you did to all your enemies… - she then pointed to my heart – but forgive them because that is what you feel… because you have nothing against them anymore… so that way you can really keep going with your life… and let all the pain bottled up in there to leave there… as in a volcano, if it keeps accumulating pressure, it shall explode as one… just let everything get out…
A… alright Enmie… Gabriel… Dimitri… Dante… I… i… love you all… I always have loved… forgive me… if I could not make you happy… because of that… I forgive you… - tears began rolling down my cheeks discreetly – as regarding the emotions… daddy always said that a man… never let his emotions out… but as you said Enmie… I… shall… let… them… - I couldn't end the statement, as soon as I saw Enmie with her arms open wide towards me, I hugged her and broke down crying.
It is hard to precise how much time I spent crying on Enmie's arms, her hug had something nostalgic, I felt like a protected child; even the fear of someone being near me which, even if I wasn't feeling bothered with her proximity, would still make itself present, disappeared; leaving behind just the great sensation of having someone near me; when I finally managed to calm down, the usagimimi said:
Very well Richard, I bet you are feeling much better – she then smiled in sequence – am I right?
Yes… I feel really relieved… as for a long time I couldn't feel – I smiled back to her.
I warn you, however, that you need to allow love to enter your life… - pondered Enmie, looking at me with a serious face – or in the next test life send you; you shall not stand a chance…
But… - I replied, getting sad afterwards – will I have even another hard test? And how shall I let love enter my life? I really doubt Yumi… will forgive me… one day…
First and less important, yes life will always send challenges towards you… however the next one will be determinant so as how will be not only your future… but of a lot of people… - Enmie nodded and added – now regarding Yumi… yes it can take a while for her to really forgive you… remember it took you twenty years for you to forgive your case… but you didn't have anyone giving you advice… I will talk to her and see what I can do…
You are right Enmie… - I looked sadly at her – and thank you very much.
Second… it isn't about her I am talking about right now – she then looked deep into my eyes – another person… awakened this beautiful feeling into you, didn't her?
B… B… B… But how do you know about this? – I stuttered seeing that as soon as Enmie said that, the image of Akira popped up in my mind, making me blush instantly.
As I imagined, I was right! – Enmie then discretely giggled, placing her paw over her mouth.
Enmie… even if I am beginning to like her… I don't know if she is ready for this… - I replied, thinking about Akira's age – I don't even know if I am ready for all this…
That only time shall tell Richard… - pondered again Enmie, looking at me even more intently – however we are not in a rush regarding that, correct? We have a lot of time ahead of us!
You are right Enmie, I shall bid my time and see what happens… - I thought.
That is wright, also do not drink for a while too, if possible – commented Enmie, opening the door – now go rest, or you shall suffer a collapse.
I followed Enmie's advice and went to lay down a bit, not before checking Akira's state who happily watched anime in her own sofa at our bedroom; I woke up hours later, it was already late afternoon, under the vigilant watch of the little nekomimi, when I asked why she was looking at me all she replied to me was "I wanted to be sure my dear was having a good resting sleep"; upon hearing that I felt very warm inside and happy at the same time…
Enma showed up near dinner time and said she had just came back from Silva's residence, reporting me that nothing significant had been discovered, describing me how she made him pay for having ejaculated so soon last time, making him a victim of female domination, I didn't know what that was, but I was afraid to ask; also said that we would need to give him more info if we wanted to get something back from him, we talked and agreed on what we could be revealed to him and then it was settled that they would have programed meeting and they wouldn't enter the "petition" against me so soon as not to raise any suspicion on "me" regarding both of them; the kitsunemimi made it crystal clear that what she was doing with that noble wasn't the "part" I had as bonus with her…
I reported to the King everything that happened recently, also saying about the warning Leandro said in his diaries about any activity that might look like the extremists, in reality would be an opportunist impostor; after all the explanation of why that theory was valid, he agreed and also thought it was good to allow the investigation to be in a defensive level until at least the next diary part be available…
Time flew quite fast after that without much change in everyday life; with the exception that my little nekomimi and I have become much more closer to each other, she was helping me even forgive and forget my brothers… we had something really nice when we were together, we would share secrets, we would listen to the other one's problems, something I never had before in my life, little did I know where this was heading too… even her paws healed completely! Dawn was living a bride's life together with Andrade, even if she still lived with me, but all days when she finished her work she would spend time with him, keeping herself, however, still virgin for him, always under the jealous watch of her sister Dusk, that would never leave the two of them alone for over five seconds… fifty one days passed without nothing worth mention happening; although the winter was really cold this year, the day before march first arrived, it was still sixty nine days until the next part of the diary to be available, it was February twenty eight of two thousand twenty one (02/28/2021), it was my birthday's eve and Akira asked me:
Dear, Catherine told me that tomorrow is your birthday! – she then smiled to me – what do you want to receive as a gift?
I admit that caught me completely off guard, I didn't imagine that Akira would be get this far in order to try and make me happy… what did I wish for that the little nekomimi could give me? As incredible as it might sound, I gave her a very pretty yellow dress and on the following day I asked her to go with me to a dinner on a fancy restaurant, just the two of us; for the first time in a long time I didn't need to drink in order to have fun, we arrived home and then I spent the next few hours playing the piano to her; after all that to end we talked a bit about the life we were living, the story of my family and others here in Verona… when I noticed, it was morning already from march second and her as well as me had slept one the living room couch, with her head on my shoulder; that was when she asked me:
Dear, why did you play for me on your twenty-ninth birthday? – she then looked at me with a smiling and happy face, adding in sequence – d… don't get me wrong! I loved listening to your music… but, isn't the correct me doing stuff for my dear on his day and not the other way around?
Akira-chan… - I smiled and petted her head – to me, the birthday is a day to make what one want most as much as possible, that meaning, almost always having fun and playing for you… was very fun to me… it was a long time since I felt this much pleasure on having someone listening to my performance…
I understood dear! – she smiled even more with big bright eyes and nodded – I really had a lot of fun too! Your music is just very beautiful!
Of course not everything was partying motive, Yumi and I wouldn't exchange a single word anymore, even if it was work related; according to what Enmie told me, the nekomimi looked for her on the next day after what happened, telling her that no matter how she knew it was another person that possessed me, she can't look at me without reliving the terror that she went through by my hands, not to mention the horrendous way she lost her virginity, unfortunately I couldn't blame her a single bit for feeling like that, but she kept saying she would find a way to bring the Richard she once knew back to normal, what Enmie found it was better to let her think like that, if that was the way she found out to cope with what happened…; regarding myself, I couldn't look at her without feeling a remorse that burned as much as overheated stabbed directly inside my heart; the usagimimi informed that me that she would do the possible so as at least my blonde nekomimi friend would recover from her trauma and live a fairly normal; of course I would always and forever carry this guilty inside my being… I would do my best to give her a worth life for now…
Now about the nekomimi revolution, apparently Leandro was right, seeing that after all this time has passed and nothing else occurred; the traitor probably understood that there were no breaches to act without being discovered, so as a consequence it also laid low on the last days, it was good to know I could count on my friend even after he became insane… meaning that maybe… no matter how traumatic the experience might have been… our friendship was stronger than anything… what made me really happy.
More thirty six days passed without anything out of ordinary happen, the day was April six of two thousand twenty one; as some sort of magic, I was browsing some papers when I found Akira's possession papers, then I decided to read them without much effort *"Mother's name: Hikari Mitsuki", "Father's name: *Unknown*", date of birth "04/07/2010"* that was when I remembered that her eleventh birthday of my little nekomimi was tomorrow!
That was when I thought: "Even without having anything to offer, she decided to ask me what I wished to get on my birthday, I am sure that unless I asked for something impossible to her reach, she would do her best to give me said present; that is why I believe that, after all the effort she shows every day to make me happy, smile and forget the pains that haunt and harm my heart, sometimes even neglecting her own physical wellbeing for it, like sleeping as much as she would want to; she deserves have a great wish of hers to be granted…" with that in mind, I picked up the intercom and Maria picked it up on the other side, I asked her to order Akira to come to me on my meeting room; five minutes later she entered through the room's door asking:
Here I am dear! – she smiled and bowed next – Maria told me you wanted to talk to me, how can I help you?
Oh it is a simple one Akira-chan – I pointed then to the seat in front of mine – I needed to ask you something, sit here please.
Sure dear – she then say in front of me and looked at me with a curious face – what do you wish to know?
Akira-chan, tomorrow is your birthday right? – I petted her head.
Y… Yes! – she nodded and replied, blushing slightly.
Alright, then what I wanted to ask is – I looked then very deep into her eyes – what do you wish to get as a birthday present? What is your biggest dream?
B… Biggest d… d… dream? – Akira replied with a shocked face, putting her paws in front of me and talking euphorically – D… D… DON'T W… W… WORRY ABOUT THAT! – she then blush further and looked at the ground.
But Akira-chan… - I gently placed my hand under her chin and lifted it, so as I could look deep into her pretty eyes – you gave me so much… I wanted to at least… be able to give something back… could you please… at least tell me… your biggest dream?
Can… I really… ask for anything… - I saw her eyes shine while she was saying that – that I may want?
Yes Akira-chan – I fondled her head while I nodded – as long as it isn't something impossible, of course…
What would be impossible? – asked Akira, adding in sequence – I know that a lot of things are impossible dear, I just wanted to be sure… this isn't one of them…
Well… - I looked to the celling while my index finger was on my cheek – to transform you on Verona's queen, to free you, to revive someone or even bring the moon to you… that sort of stuff… is what you want?
No… - replied Akira, joining the two index fingers of her paws and blushing even further – I just don't know… if my dear… will want to give me that…
Akira-chan, as I said, you can ask – I smiled at her, this shy way she was acting was making me happy of offering this to her, seeing she was really considering accepting my proposal – if it is on my reach, I shall do it with all my heart!
Well… then… you know… like… - Akira then got quiet for around one minute, then she blushed violently as red wine and said – I want… the same… that dear… gave… to Kikuri… on that day… that I saw… you two… together…