AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! (YOU'RE THE MOTHER FUCKING WRITER! And Dumbledore doesn't cuss in the movie either!) besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! (Excuses, EXCUSES!) and da reson snap (Snap? Oh Snape. I didn't know he became a Rice Krispy) dosent lik harry now is coz hes Christian and vampire is a satanist! (WOOOOW) MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad (Whoaa check out Ebony, she's learning to rhyme!). I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. (LEAVE WILLOW OUT OF THIS!)

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything (And "everything" O.o) started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (You mentioned that) (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic (I never thought I'd say this but I LOVE YOU VOLDY AND I WANT YOU TO KILL OFF EVERYONE!). It was... Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him (O.o they invented a spell where Hermione's cat fly's out of wands and attacks people? AWESOME!). Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream (Voldemort…screaming? Well I guess if I had a giant fur ball of a cat clawing at me I would scream too.). I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped (No you felt bad for Voldy BECAUSE you're a Satanist).

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" (Thou? What is he learning how to speak Shakespearen? And I HIGHLY doubt that Voldy would call HARRY by his school nickname.)

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? (*standing ovation* Well done! She finally put it together! *whispers to random person* Dumbass)

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. (Ooh your on first name basis?)

Voldemort gave me a gun (What if everyone in the books had guns? That'd make killing Death Eaters so much easier. They'd be all "SUCK THIS BITCH" and then BAM!). "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" (Voldemort sounds so smarticle right now…*GASP* HE'S TALKING LIKE A MUGGLE WRITER! THAT'S WRONG!)

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. (It's VOLDEMORT! He is like SATAN himself…so why the hell aren't you worshipping him?)

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face (I'd love to see Voldy with that look on his face…). "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly (*headdesk* TELEKINESIS IS WHEN YOU MOVE THINGS WITH YOUR MIND YOU IGNORANT SAVAGE!). "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. (VOLDY WAIT DX YOU WERE OUR ONLY HOPE TO KILLING HER CUZ EVERYONE ELSE IS TOO AFRAID OF HER TO!)

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" (…dude you just embarrassed him in front of like EVERYONE while he was naked and you're in the middle of the Forbidden Forest where you were just threatened by Voldemort and all you say is "Hi!"? Someone. Call. An. Insane. Asylum. Now.)

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) (Hahaha—NO) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. (Ebony, you have an unhealthy obsession with these two. I feel so bad for them…)

"Are you okay?" I asked. (OF COURSE HE'S NOT OKAY YOU BABBLING BUMBLING BABOON!)

"No." he answered. (See? What'd I tell ya?)

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled (Yea, I WISH you got expelled).

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. (…I have nothing to say on this…)