AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and put this story on their favorites! I'm glad you like pointing and laughing at Ebony as much as I do!
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid (No they aren't stupid…THEY ARE DISTURBING AS FUCK!)!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus (Oh yes, 'Cuz your all about the teaching!)! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! (Raven we hate you!)
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied (Horrorfied? Too late…)! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off (Wow you're so nice *snort*) and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting (I just had mental image of that…*laughs into pillow*) but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way (…Ebony you're the one who's a perv! Besides, Dumbledore is gay as the Fourth of July.).
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood (Again, you NEED to see a docter about that) and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes (Well we all know she's wearing black and not white so she should be good XD) so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily (Oh yea, my boyfriend just died so I'm gonna take a nice bath. With bubbles. Because I deserve bubbles on my skin.) while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak (Ebony, now is not the time for a Filet Mignon!) and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide (Ohh THAT kinda "stake"….DO IT! Quick, before someone comes and interferes! Don't take no for an answer! Just stick that sucker in your heart! Or I'll do it for you!). I was so fucking depressed (I've noticed, believe it or not)! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings (Even after her boyfriend's death she finds the time to describe her never ending outfits). I couldn't fucking believe it (I know, it's so selfish of you!). Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it (…*grabs baseball bat and starts beating myself with it* WHYYY?)! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT! (No that would be you Ebony. Everyone, save the children!)" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it (Wait, I thought you were already dressed O.o). Suddenly Vampire ran in.
"Abra Kedavra (*flowers poof out of wand* Wrong spell! 20 points from Gryffindor!)!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb (I am legitly dying right now. WOMB? BWAHAHAHAHA!). I took my gun (Muggle weapon= A no-no at Hogwarts) and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has – NOOOOOOOOOOOOO (*running in slow mo and says in dragged out deep voice* NOOOOOOOOOOO)!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...
Hargrid ran outside on his broom (He ran on his broom? Why doesn't he, I don't know…FLY? And do you mean he ran INSIDE?) and said everyone we need to talk (Good timing bro).
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" (NO HE IS A FUCKING PROFESSOR/HALF GIANT!)
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" (I'm so confused as to what is going on…)
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him (WHAT THE HELL! Him and Lupin, oh excuse me, "Loopin" should be DEAD! They were hit with "Avada Kedevra" AND shot. GAHH!). "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. (I'm so confused Dx)
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. (I wish you would faint so that I can swoop in, kill you, and run off with the NORMAL Draco happily into the sunset.)
"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. (Doing what? HE'S THE ONE WHO—Oh forget it!)
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint (*Opens mouth to say something then closes it and shakes head*).
"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent (What. The. Hell?).
"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.
"Because I LOVE HER!" (*wails*)