"I don't know if you three realize this," said a very pregnant and very irritated Xena, "but I am not an invalid. Furthermore, if you continue to treat me like one, I am going to have to show you I'm not in a very physical way."
The three wise friends took her threat seriously and they each took a step back.
"They're already taking after their father with their refusal to show themselves," she continued to grumble. "Did you hear that, guys? Mommy knows you're in there. You can come out now…It looks like they've also inherited my stubbornness."
"I still think you should be lying down in a nice tavern instead of walking out in the middle of nowhere," Gabrielle told her. "They're going to be coming any day now and you're not going to be ready."
"When have my babies ever come at an opportune time?" Xena asked. "They'll be fine and I'll be fine whenever they decide to come."
"Can't argue with that logic," Hercules told Gabrielle teasingly.
Xena suddenly bit her lip, leaned forward, and said in a very pained tone, "I think they've decided on now. My water just broke."
Hercules and Gabrielle went forward and each took an elbow.
"We passed a farm about a mile back," Iolaus said as he looked at the impending rainclouds. He mounted his horse. "I'll ride ahead and see if the farmer there won't let us use his barn."
Hercules nodded, "We'll be along."
It was slow going as Xena's contractions worsened. When the rain started to fall, Hercules picked Xena up, who was in too much pain to protest being picked up, and they practically ran the remaining way.
Iolaus and an elderly couple waited in the doorway of the farmhouse. Iolaus motioned them in.
"These kind people have been more than generous. They've insisted she take their bed."
Xena shook her wet head. "The barn will be fine."
"Nonsense, dear," said the kind elderly woman. "I haven't seen a newborn baby since my own were born. It would be a pure joy and I will not have a baby catching their death of cold in my barn when they could be in my dry, warm house."
Xena started to protest again but Hercules had already carried her into the bedroom and put her down on the bed. Gabrielle and Hercules pulled up wooden stools and sat down on both sides of her.
"Just relax," Gabrielle said. "It would be rude to refuse these nice people. Take deep breaths. That's it. Your babies will be here soon." She caught the deadly glare Xena gave her. "Right. No talking. I remember that."
Hercules offered a hand for her to squeeze and he couldn't help but wince a little. Xena had a strong grip anyway for a woman who didn't have any godly parentage but Xena in labor had a killer grip.
"It won't be long now," Xena said between breaths. Gabrielle moved to the foot of the bed.
Xena was right. It wasn't a minute before Gabrielle saw a head crowning. Iolaus and the farmer were waiting in the main room, but the farmer's wife came into the bedroom with clean blankets to wrap the babies in.
"You have a son," Gabrielle told Xena in delighted tones.
"By the gods," Xena muttered when she realized the baby didn't constitute the usual relief as another was still on its way. Xena's distress suddenly increased and she shouted, "Iolaus, get these people out of here!"
Iolaus rushed into the room, fast for his age, and without waiting for an explanation got the bewildered elderly couple out of the house.
Gabrielle and Hercules needed no explanation either. Gabrielle pulled the baby closer to herself.
"If you touch a hair on either of my babies' head, you'll wish you had died during the twilight of the gods," Xena threatened.
Ares materialized. "I was wondering if you'd notice me given your present condition. I'm not here for your children. I'm here for their father."
Even in the throes of labor, she managed to shift herself so that she was partly shielding Hercules from attack.
"Don't think because you're covering him that I won't go through you to get to him," Ares warned. "I've finally come to the realization that we don't have a chance in tartarus."
Hercules gently put Xena back in her former position. "I was wondering when you were going to show up. Let me just reiterate what Xena said. If you cause any harm to come to either one of my children or the mother of my children, there's going to be one less god in the world."
"I'm shaking," Ares said, sarcasm dripping from his voice as a fireball formed in his hand.
"Ares!" shouted Xena. "So help me, you are not going to play with fire around my children!"
Hercules and Gabrielle were shocked when Ares complied and the flame went out. The rage on his face was still there though. "You're fortunate that there are babies in the room," he told Hercules, "but you can bet your life that this isn't over for any of you. I hope you two weren't planning on being a sweet little, traveling family because I'm going to ensure that never happens one way or another," he said before he vanished.
"Did his voice crack in that last part of his threat?" Hercules asked Gabrielle in bafflement.
"I think so," Gabrielle answered in equal bafflement.
"I hate to break up this stimulating conversation but-" she punctuated the last part of the sentence with a scream.
Gabrielle handed the first twin to Hercules and got ready for the next one. "A daughter," she said as wrapped up the second one.
Xena smiled, too tired to say anything at the moment.
Hercules and Gabrielle brought the babies up to the top of the bed for Xena to see and hold.
"Have you thought of names?" Hercules asked.
"My daughter's name is Cyrene after my mother and my son's name is Joxer."
Gabrielle smiled and her eyes shone with both happiness and sorrow at the names of their departed loved ones. "That's perfect. If they become even half the people their namesakes were, they will be great people."
Xena kissed the foreheads of both the babies. "They will be."