The Miracle of Love
Chapter 16
"And then I'll be with you and I won't scare myself…"
Bilbo didn't even remember when he fell asleep, but he knew he was alone in the room when he did. He wasn't alone anymore when he woke up a few hours later. Thorin was sleeping in a chair on one side of his bed and Bofur on the other. Neither of them looked particularly comfortable but Bilbo didn't really care. It was their fault he ended in a hospital and it was their choice to stay here. He didn't ask them to stay.
"You are awake," mumbled Thorin who apparently just woke up. Bilbo had no idea what time it was and it looked like Thorin didn't know either. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," simply answered Bilbo.
All this talk woke Bofur up, who immediately reached for Bilbo's hand. "How are you feeling?"
Bilbo pulled his hand away as if Bofur's touch burned him. Thorin didn't miss Bilbo's reaction, but he didn't dare to do the same. He was worried Bilbo might pull away from him too.
"I'm fine," answered Bilbo. He looked at Thorin and then back to Bofur. "Why are you here? Why are you both here? Don't you have anything better to do?"
"I offered to stay here with you," answered Thorin after a minute of silence. "Mum was worried about you, so I told her I will stay here."
Bilbo turned to Bofur. "I'm here because I wanted to make sure you are okay. I was so worried-"
"Well, I'm fine," snapped Bilbo, irritated. "Tomorrow is school so I don't know what you two are doing here. You should be both at home. I don't need you here."
"Well, I'm staying," answered Thorin, sharply.
Bofur didn't want for Thorin to win. "I'm staying, too."
This apparently made Bilbo even angrier. "Enjoy sleeping in the chair," spat Bilbo, lay down and pulled the covers up. He was now facing Bofur who was intensely watching him trying to sleep. After a few minutes Bilbo muttered something under his breath and turned on the other side, only to face Thorin, who was smiling at him. Bilbo groaned in frustration and pulled the covers over his head.
He could hear Thorin chuckle and he could imagine him smiling. "Goodnight, Bilbo," said Thorin, but received no answer.
:::
When Bilbo woke up the next morning, Thorin and Bofur looked even worse than they did the previous night. It was more than obvious that they were fighting, but Bilbo didn't really care. This was their problem not his. His problem was much worse though. He was really hungry and he urgently needed to use the toilet, the baby was once again pressing on his bladder.
Thorin was the first one to notice his discomfort. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine," snapped Bilbo. "Leave me alone." He really wasn't in the mood to deal with both of them so early in the morning.
"Do you need some help?" asked Thorin when he saw Bilbo getting out of the bed.
"No, Thorin. I don't need your help. I think I can use the toilet alone. Or do you think it would be better if you are there with me?"
Thorin raised his hands in surrender and sat back on the chair. Bilbo hurried to the bathroom, but returned a few minutes later only to find a tray in his room. "Is this for me?" asked Bilbo excitedly.
"They brought it in not a minute ago," explained Bofur.
Bilbo smiled, climbed back on the bed and pulled the tray to him. Breakfast, finally. He didn't care if Thorin and Bofur were watching him eat, he was too hungry to think about that.
"I'm going to get some coffee," said Thorin. "Do you need anything?"
"Hot chocolate," said Bilbo with his mouth full. "With extra sugar," he added after he swallowed.
Thorin nodded. "Do you need anything?" he asked Bofur who shook his head. "I'll be right back."
Bofur watched Bilbo eat his breakfast, but he didn't say anything. They both waited for Thorin to return. He came in a few minutes later and gave Bilbo the cup of hot chocolate he ordered.
"Extra sugar?" Bilbo asked and Thorin sent him a look. "What? I had to make sure you brought what I asked you." Thorin rolled his eyes and sat down. The moment he did that a phone started to ring. "Is that my phone?" asked Bilbo, annoyed that Thorin had his phone.
"Here," said Thorin, "I'll give you some time alone." Bofur followed him out of the room.
"Mum?" asked Bilbo when he answered his phone.
"Bilbo? Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine," answered Bilbo.
"You are in a hospital. What happened? We were so worried yesterday when the doctor called us. She said you will call, but you didn't."
"I'm fine, mum. I really am."
"What happened?"
"I kind of fainted." Bilbo could hear his mother gasp on the other side. "But I'm fine now. The doctor wanted me to stay here just to make sure everything is alright."
"And the baby? Is the baby alright?"
"Yes mum. The doctor checked me yesterday and she said that we are both okay."
Bilbo heard his mother let out a sigh. "We were so worried when you didn't call last night. We were all ready to leave, because we wanted to see you, when that boy… What's his name? Thorin? Yes, he called and told us you are okay, but that you fell asleep."
"Thorin called you?"
"Yes. He said he is staying with you and he said that if anything changes he will call us. He was very nice to us." His mother apparently forgot that Thorin was the one who got him pregnant. "When are you coming home? I want to see you. We all do."
"I don't know. I'll come home as soon as I'm allowed to."
"Okay. You scared me, but I'm relieved you are fine. I love you, sweetheart."
"Love you too, mum. I'll see you soon, I promise."
"Bye," said Belladonna before she hung up.
Bilbo didn't even care enough to invite Bofur and Thorin back in, he was more than happy about being alone for a couple of minutes. He just finished his hot chocolate when the doctor came in to check him. Everything was alright. All he needed was for Arwen to check the baby and then he would be free to go. But sadly, Arwen was busy so Bilbo had to stay in the hospital for lunch and then a few more hours in the afternoon. Thorin and Bofur eventually did come back, but Bilbo decided to ignore them. They obviously had another argument and every time one opened his mouth the other spat something back. Bilbo asked them to leave several times, but they refused. At the end, every time they started arguing he just raised the volume on TV so that they would stop.
A few hours after lunch Arwen finally came. "Hi," she smiled. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long."
"It's okay," said Bilbo and turned off the TV.
"All the results show that you are perfectly healthy, so let's just check this really quickly so you can go home."
"I'll wait outside," said Bofur. Thorin wanted to follow him, but stopped when Bilbo pulled up his shirt and the doctor pulled the ultrasound machine closer.
Thorin cleared his throat. "Can I stay?"
Both Bilbo and Arwen looked at him, but the doctor didn't say anything. She allowed Bilbo to decide. After a minute of staring, Bilbo nodded, and Thorin immediately sat on the chair next to the bed.
"This is going to be little cold," warned Arwen before she put some gel on Bilbo's stomach.
Thorin watched intensely as the doctor moved the probe on Bilbo's stomach and then turned the screen around for both of them to see. With a press on a few buttons baby's heartbeat filled the room.
"What's that?" asked Thorin.
"It's the heartbeat," explained Arwen.
"It's fast," observed Thorin. "It's supposed to be so fast? Is everything alright?"
"Don't worry. Everything is perfectly normal." She smiled at Thorin who had his eyes fixed on the screen. "See, here is the head. And this is an arm. This here is the leg."
"But it has two of everything?" asked Thorin.
"Yes," reassured him Arwen. "But in this position we can't see it."
Bilbo finally looked at Thorin, who didn't tear his eyes from the screen, not even for a second. It was amazing to see how Thorin looked like he cared about the baby. Bilbo quickly diminished his thought. Thorin didn't care. He didn't care about him or the baby.
"It's perfect," said Thorin in complete awe. "A little miracle," he added and squeezed Bilbo's hand.
"You are both perfectly fine, so you are allowed to go home," announced Arwen and helped Bilbo clean his stomach.
"I'll wait for you outside," said Thorin and left without saying another word.
Bilbo finished cleaning his stomach and got out of the bed. "I'm so happy I can finally go home."
"He cares about you," commented Arwen to change the topic. "He really does. He cares about you and the baby."
"I doubt it," scoffed Bilbo.
Arwen just shrugged. "Here, I promised you this yesterday." She handed Bilbo the picture he requested.
"Thank you."
"You are welcome. Why don't you get dressed and I'll get you the discharge papers." Bilbo nodded. "I'll see you in two weeks. Two weeks, not earlier, please."
"I promise," said Bilbo before Arwen left.
Bilbo was once again left alone. He looked at the picture in his hand. His baby. His and Thorin's baby. It was so much easier a few weeks ago when he was living with his parents. He knew that keeping the baby would be hard, but he was excited about it. He was looking forward to the moment when he would finally be able to hold his child. And now? What he had now? Nothing, absolutely nothing. This baby wasn't his to hold and to love. This baby would be staying with Thorin's family. All he had was the picture in his hand, nothing more.
He looked around the room, only to spot Thorin's jacket on the chair. The picture was all he had and he was hoping that Arwen was right, when he went through the pockets of Thorin's jacket. This was his only hope for happiness.
:::
Bilbo was out of the hospital in no time. He got dressed as quickly as possible and left. Bofur said goodbye to him and headed home while Thorin offered to drive him back. Bilbo didn't feel up to going back to the mansion, not yet. He wanted to go home and spend some time with his family. Thorin didn't oppose him and drove him home.
"If you need anything, call me," Thorin said.
"Thanks," said Bilbo plainly and closed the car door before he hurried inside.
He missed his small home. He even missed his small bedroom. No matter what, this was still better than Durin's mansion. "Mum? Dad?" Bilbo called when he entered.
"Bilbo?" called Belladonna. Before he could say anything else him mother pulled him into a tight embrace. "Oh, you are home. You are home," she began sobbing. "I'm so happy that you are home." She cupped his cheeks and forced him to look in her eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Are you really alright?"
"Yes mum. I'm fine." Said Bilbo before embracing his mother again. He felt so loved when his mother hugged him. "What's that smell? It smells delicious."
"Hungry?" Belladonna smiled. "Come, I'm making your favorite dinner."
"Mum, you are the best," said Bilbo before he allowed his mother to drag him in the kitchen.
It didn't take long before Frodo came running downstairs. He missed his brother too. He saw him more times than his parents did but still, it wasn't the same. He used to spend hours with him now he was lucky if he could say hello to him.
"You are staying here tonight, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am," confirmed Bilbo. "I'm not going back. Not tonight."
Bungo returned from work an hour later only to hear once again laughter in his kitchen. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked sharply. Everyone in the kitchen froze and looked at him. Bungo wasn't able to hold it back for much longer and a smiled crept on his face. "Hello son."
"Hi, dad," said Bilbo and allowed his father to pull him into a tight embrace.
"Did you all believe I was angry," Bungo asked as he sat down next to his son.
"Well you did trick us rather nicely," admitted Bilbo.
"Bilbo is staying here tonight," announced Frodo.
Bungo smiled. "Good. This is your home and you are always welcome here. There will always be a bed for you under this roof."
"Thanks dad."
"So, what's for dinner? I'm starving."
"Yeah mum," Frodo said. "We are starving here. Bilbo urgently needs food." Everyone laughed at Frodo's words and Belladonna rolled her eyes before she put the food on the table and her family finally shared a meal together after so much time.
Not so far away, another family was having a dinner together but the atmosphere was nowhere as nice as in Baggins household. You could say that then tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Everyone was eating in silence and no one dared to look up. Needless to say that Thráin was back home and that he was informed of what happened with Bilbo.
"Something like this can't happen again," said Thráin and finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "Did I make myself clear, Thorin?!"
"Yes father, you made yourself very clear," Thorin answered back.
"Don't try to be smart here boy. This is all your fault. If you would use your head for something else than partying and whoring around this wouldn't have happened. We wouldn't be in this mess we are now in."
"My fault?!" questioned Thorin, irritated. "I stayed with him in the hospital and made sure he is alright. How is this my fault?" Thorin raised his voice.
"You got him pregnant in the first place-"
"And you are the monster who decided to take his baby away from him!" yelled Thorin. "How do you think he feels?!"
"It's his fault! Blabbing everything to that doctor. If that stupid boy knew how to keep his mouth shut he would be able to keep the child. After all, you are too stupid to ever figure out the child is yours."
"Enough!" Interrupted Valla. "This is a family dinner. Why is it so hard to have a normal meal together when you two are in the house?" She stood up and left the table. Fíli and Kíli did the same.
"He apparently did the right thing," said Thorin when he was alone with his father. "You were informed and now you are pulling all the strings. That must make you very happy, father."
Thráin shook his head. How naïve his son was. "They know. That traitorous doctor didn't call me. He called them! They know. It was pure luck that one of ours was heard this so we were able to intervene before something would have happened. I don't care if you have bastard children. That is your problem. But I won't allow them to raise one of my own so that then my own grandchild can kill me while I'm asleep. You know how they work, no screams, just lots of blood."
"They would go that far," reasoned Thorin.
"Use your head for once! Remember that massacre I told you about two weeks ago." Thorin nodded. "Well that was just a warning. No one knows when they are going to strike next."
"Still, they wouldn't use Bilbo."
"No," confirmed Thráin. "They would wait for him to give birth and then kill him. It would be much easier for them that way. They don't need him they just need the child to hang it over my head. This is a family business. How do you think others would look at me when they would threaten me to kill my grandchild? I needed to make sure this doesn't happen."
"And what about Bilbo and his family?" asked Thorin though he had a pretty good idea what his father's answer will be.
"They are just pawns in this game of chess. You have to sacrifice them to win," said Thráin before he left.
Thorin sighed and leaned back into the chair. "Yes," he said quietly, "But if you get them safely on the other side you always get the best reward possible." He rubbed his tired eyes. "And then it's so much easier to win." He sighed again. "It's so much easier to win if you have them by your side."
He headed back to his room. He needed so time to relax and he needed a shower. He stripped his clothes, stepped under a warm shower and closed his eyes. It felt so good to forget about everything. Sadly his thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing back in his bedroom. He didn't really care about anything. He stepped out of the shower and went to his phone.
Dwalin. "Yes?"
"Thorin, do you still have the number of that guy we met?"
"I thought this was urgent," Thorin commented dryly.
"It is. Do you have it?"
"Yes, in my wallet. What did you do?" Thorin knew Dwalin did something wrong and now Ori was angry.
"Nothing."
"So why are you then taking him to that restaurant? You know how expensive that place is."
Thorin could hear Dwalin sigh. "I told him I don't want to tell Dori we are dating."
"When will you learn?" laughed Thorin.
"Stop laughing. Do you have the number or not."
"Give me a second," said Thorin and searched his pockets for his wallet. He found it and searched through it to find the number. But there was something else that caught his eyes and Thorin almost dropped his phone. "I'll call you back," he said and threw his phone on the bed before Dwalin could say something else.
Thorin pulled the ultrasound pictures out of his wallet. But now there weren't two anymore, he had three. He looked the picture which he had never seen before. Bilbo. Thorin smiled and turned the picture around. 'Little miracle' was written on its back. Bilbo must have put this in his wallet when he wasn't paying attention. Thorin felt warmth spreading through his body and he never felt so happy in his life.
:::
The next day it was Thorin who was searching for Bilbo in the school because he wanted to talk to him. He needed to see him and make sure he is okay and happy. It didn't take long to find him. Bilbo was having lunch with Ori. He was laughing at whatever Ori told him and Thorin couldn't help but smile. Bilbo looked so happy that he felt bad to interrupt them. It was strange that his brothers were nowhere in sight.
When Ori noticed Thorin approaching them he immediately stopped talking. Bilbo looked at him and then followed his eyes only to notice Thorin coming closer. He immediately started putting his things together.
"Can I talk to you?" asked Thorin.
"I'm sorry, I have class." Bilbo knew this was a bad excuse because he still had fifteen minutes of lunch break, but he didn't want to talk to him. "I'll talk to you later," he said to Ori before he disappeared.
Ori wanted to leave too, but Thorin stopped him. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, tell me," tried Thorin.
"It's really nothing. I have to go."
Thorin wasn't happy that no one wanted to tell him anything, but he wasn't going to give up so easily. After school he waited for Bilbo to return. He was determined to talk to him.
The moment he heard him walk through the door he was on his feet and followed him to his room. "Welcome back."
"Thanks," said Bilbo, and hurried to his room. He hoped to get rid of Thorin as soon as possible, but Thorin still followed him.
"So, can we talk now?" Thorin asked as he leaned on the doorframe.
"I don't have time," answered Bilbo and started going through his closet.
Thorin frowned. It was obvious that Bilbo was avoiding him. "If you are trying hard to get let me tell you that it's not working."
"What? No. I have some things to do."
"I'm all ears."
Bilbo looked at Thorin, unsure if he was serious. Apparently Thorin really wanted to know. "I have birthing class today," Bilbo informed him.
"Oh."
"Yeah." Bilbo looked at Thorin who refused to move. "Look, I have to get ready, so…"
"Do you need me to drive you or to go-"
"No need," interrupted Bilbo. "Kíli is going with me so I have a ride." If Bilbo didn't know better he would swear that Thorin looked disappointed he couldn't go with him. "I really don't need you."
Thorin nodded and left without saying a word. Bilbo just shook his head and continued to get ready. So what if he hurt Thorin's feelings. He hurt him many times before and Thorin had no reason to be hurt right now. He didn't want the baby. In fact he didn't want to have anything with the baby so why should he go with him.
-TBC-
Author's notes:
All mistakes are mine.
Now we know a little more, but still not everything. Why do they have to be so mysterious? It's driving me crazy.
So I hope that you all noticed that Thorin was a little disappointed and hurt at the end. And you all know Thorin so this is not going to end well. It could also happen that they will be able to work out their issues. You'll just have to wait and see. But I promise you that you will hate and love the next chapter.