CHAPTER 7 – LIFE THROUGH A LENS
A shower was heaven and as she flopped across her bed, arms spread wide and staring up at the ceiling, she pondered these past few hours. Beyond comprehension really and wondered when she woke up in the morning, whether she would be back on earth doing what she did best... or out here. Wherever here was.
The Colonel had thoughtfully provided a spare base uniform until they could locate some clothes to fit her and as she rolled across the bed to look over to where she had lain them out, she chuckled. A non comformist most of her life, the thought of wearing what was basically military attire, was an oxymoron really. Against the establishment, sock it to the man... Nicole Harmon now under the wing of a military commander on a secret military base...some things came to pass for a reason. This one? Couldn't possibly begin to get her head around this one.
Her thoughts moved to the Colonel. His sense of humour was a little surprising and quite refreshing. Her experience with the military to date had been of stuffy, overly serious types who tended to view her rather extravagant personality as foolish and trivial. It didn't hurt that he was good looking... hell, make that hot! But relationships of any kind were not on the cards for her. Not on earth and certainly not out here.
Not gonna happen Colonel John Sheppard, so save the flirting for someone who'll appreciate it. I'm sure you have more than your willing share of ladies out here who will jump at the chance to have those cheeky hazel eyes feast on them.
She laughed, and got up to get dressed, eager to meet some more of the people from this city and take some photos of the promised sunset. The clothing was certainly not an ideal fit. Obviously sized for the larger boned women, these hung a little at the hips and she had to use the belt from her own jeans to pull them in tight in order to hold them up. Fortunately the base shirt was also large, and hung down mid thigh so that it covered the pulled in trousers.
Ok, so not a fashion statement Nicole – but hey, who cares? Certainly you're not trying to make an impression on anyone... so, as long as they cover the basic bits, who the hell really cares.
She spied the balcony beyond the room, and opening the doors stepped out onto it to watch the sun as it began it's inevitable descent towards the vast ocean. Leaning on the rail she sighed. It was peaceful out here, no doubt about it. No traffic noise, no people noise, no... nothing. Just the silence that came from a world that was not overrun by humanity.
She went back in and got out her cameras, and stepping back on the balcony she was soon engrossed in taking shots. Trying angles and different settings and so involved with her work that she did not notice the knock on her door, then a few minutes later, the Colonel walking in to stand at the balcony door to watch her. Her face was alive when she was photographing, he saw that immediately. Her hands were sure and handled the equipment the same way he would handle a gun. Definitely as though it was an extension to her. He smiled, and in that instant she brought her camera around and caught that pensive smile and the warm hazel eyes and knew that she had also captured the inner man, the one that he likely kept fairly well hidden for personal reasons.
"So... see anything you like, Nicole?" She wasn't sure if he was referred to the view or the photo she had just taken, and chose not to rise to his baiting.
"I see a lot I like... the camera will see something else. I'll show you later, if you're interested. If you have a laptop I can connect my USB to?"
His response was slightly guarded, and he continued to watch her, the way the breeze lifted those curls and settled them back down on her shoulders. He couldn't help but notice the base attire did not fit her small frame, and fought down a laugh. It didn't seem to bother her and he got the impression that fashion was not a high priority with this woman.
She lowered her camera, turning it off and went to push past him to return it to her room, but he caught her arm. She didn't look up at him, kept her eyes down on her camera, and he let go of her arm and tugged on a curl to get her to look up. "What's your story Nicole? You're like a photograph yourself... layers of colour and hidden depths I think. One would have to spend a lot of time looking at the photo to get the true meaning of why it was taken. Is that you?"
"Depends on your definition of hidden depths Colonel. Not much mystery in this woman... what you see is what you get..."
"Hmmm... what I get? Kinda like the sound of that..."
"Metaphorically speaking Colonel..."
"Oh, I'm sure it was. And it's just "John" - ok? Ditch the "Colonel". You're not military so you are not required to address me by rank."
"Ok, so "just John"... you promised me a dinner of some description... but just to clarify things, this is not a date by any definition. Ok?"
"Scouts honour!" He held the the two fingers of the scout salute and she laughed.
"Why do I get the feeling you were never a boy scout, John."
The walked companionably to the mess and as he stood back and allowed her to step through the door first, he noticed immediately the stir her entrance had caused. Not just the illfitting base attire, no... she was stunning and in a superbly natural way that was completely unaffected. He spotted Ronon and Teyla at a table and guided her in that direction, noticing that Rodney was weaving his way toward the same table, fully loaded tray with evening meal and the inevitable jello.
She stood a little uncertainly at the table before sitting down, waiting for John to make the requisite introductions. Ronon looked at her with frank curiousity, and a measure of interest in his eyes. She returned his look steadily and pushed a clear message into her own eyes. Not interested, so keep the flirting games down to a minimum. Obviously he got the message more or less clearly, a delighted smile lit up his face and he nodded his head at her, looking somewhat assessingly at John.
"This Nicole, is the one responsible for the headache you've been experiencing today. Ronon Dexx of Sateda..."
"You're the one who shot me? Damn, but that hurt. And Sateda? Got the feeling I won't find that on any map of earth."
She shot out a hand and he took it deliberately and shook it firmly but she noticed that he did not attempt to apologise for shooting her.
She was introduced to Teyla and Rodney. The other woman looked at her a little warily as though wondering at the easy closeness that John and her already seemed to share and Rodney's interest was immediately piqued, especially once he realised that this was the woman who had arrived here from the Bermuda Triangle.
"So, Nicole? Sam told me that I can spend some time testing your gene sample tomorrow. To see what sort of effect it has on some of the equipment here. I have something here that supposedly simulates the mythical effect of the Bermuda Triangle – I say mythical because it has never been proven, but I'm sure if you're a journalist and you were out there doing some sort of photo exposay on it, then that would hardly come as a surprise to you..."
"Rodney...?"
"Yes, Sheppard?" Rodney paused in his rambling monologue to look at the Colonel.
"Shut up. Now."
"Oh..." He coloured slightly and looked between John and Nicole.
Nicole pushed down a laugh and addressed Rodney, feeling surprisingly taken by the somewhat effusive scientist. "That's fine Rodney, I understand and I'm happy to spend time helping you test your device tomorrow... as long as you let me photograph you while you work. You have an … interesting face and when you talk about your work it becomes animated and so expressive. I would love to capture those expressions."
"Oh hell Nicole... don't feed into his already overinflated ego... please! The man already thinks he's some sort of God."
She let some of the bantering wash over her, feeling John's eyes resting on her from time to time, and felt a weariness begin to permeate her limbs. It had been a strange and unsettling day and she wasn't sure what her thoughts and emotions were at the moment. She knew that she was tired, no – make that exhausted and a part of her just wanted to drop into bed and seek the oblivion only sleep can bring. Another part of her wanted to walk out into the sunset and take the most stunning pictures of her career. Yawning widely, earning an amused look from John, she stood and excused herself.
"Sunset awaits people. Thank you for your hospitality this evening, I believe my cameras are calling me rather urgently. Tomorrow, Rodney?"
John had risen also and casting a quick look at the others, he issued a somewhat terse goodnight and followed Nicole out of the mess.
Teyla raised her eyebrows at Ronon. "It would appear that John has developed a new interest."
"Yeah... shoulda shot him as well." Grumbling a little he pushed away from the table to go and get some dessert.
He allowed her to gather up her cameras and deliberating keeping some distance between them he allowed an easy silence to fall as they made their way to one of the upper level balconies of the control tower. Pushing outside, Nicole paused in the doorway, feeling John close behind her, his warmth a fraction too close for comfort.
The sun had lower majestically to the horizon and it hung there suspended, awaiting the moment that it would simply paint the sky with unimaginable colours.
"Oh..." Words seemed somehow inadequate and as she fumbled to get her camera out of the duffle, John chuckled slightly and gripped the bag so that she wouldn't drop it. He remained close, while she quickly disposed off lens caps and adjusted her long lens, fiddling slightly with her settings before bringing it to her face. He no longer watched the sunset, he only watched her and the transformation that crept across her face. He had to thrust his hands in his pockets to stop them from reaching out and stroking her hair, and turning, he pulled his gaze away from her and tried to concentrate on the sunset.
He heard her sigh and turning back to her saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. Slightly alarmed he started forward, but she blinked once and turned quickly, putting her camera away and fumbling in her haste to get away.
"Hey...?" He didn't know what had just happened, struggled to process the change from spellbound woman to upset woman. She pushed past him and started running and he dragged a hand through his hair, debating going after her, but thought better of it. Give her some distance. He knew how overwhelming this was likely for her at the moment, and knew that tiredness played a role in how she was feeling now.
But half an hour later he was knocking at her door, concerned. He had to make sure she was all right, and when he received no reply, he knocked again and went to open the door himself.
It slid open before he could, and she stood on the other side and he could see clearly that she had been crying.
"Nicole? Do you want to talk?"
"Go, John... I don't like people to see me weak like this... I prefer to be alone. Please, just go..."
"And I have this strong, rather innate urge to protect. Especially women who have been through a hell of a lot in the course of one day. So... you gonna let me in?"
"Not a good idea, John... really..."
"Catching you at a weak moment? Scared you'll do something you regret?"
"I don't regret my actions, John. I just don't allow myself to make the mistakes that would allow me those regrets..."
"Aaah... a woman always in control of her emotions. I don't think life is that simple. Making those supposed emotional mistakes are what makes us human, makes us feel."
"Feeling too much... yeah, overrated and very painful. So, if you'll excuse me John. I'm going to crawl into bed and wallow a little in my own misery for now, and no doubt I'll wake in the morning with crystal clear vision and the need to move forward."
"On your own?"
"On my own..." But her eyes held his for just a moment too long before she closed the door and he wondered at just much alone she really wanted to be. He touched the closed door lightly with his forehead and rested it for a moment. It was going to be a long night. Alone.