The Miracle of Love
Chapter 22
Things progressed, at least in Bilbo's opinion, at torturously slow pace. He and Thorin got to spend some time together, mainly in the living room where no one was tempted to do anything, but it just wasn't enough. Bilbo wanted more. He always wanted more from Thorin. If someone would tell him that he couldn't go to sleep until Thorin came to wish him Goodnight, he would have laughed at the idea. But now… Now this was something that has happened every night for two weeks.
It was nice spending time with Thorin but the problem was that there was no actual 'I want to get to know you better' involved if you understand what I'm trying to say here. Sure, they were in the same room and twenty questions game was played every time, but their conversation usually ended there. Bilbo did his homework and did some studying while Thorin read a book or played with his laptop. There was a roadblock. They both knew it, but they still decided to ignore it. Why ruin the good we already have for the evil that may become.
That day Thorin finished early his school work and decided to find Bilbo. He hasn't seen him since breakfast and he was beginning to wonder where he had disappeared. Bilbo did an amazing job at avoiding him at school, whether he did it on purpose or not, Thorin didn't know, but he was looking forward to spend some time with him. Maybe they will actually talk this time and not just be polite with each other. Even though part of the agreement was 'get to know me better' they were both rather clumsy when it came to those things.
Surprisingly Thorin didn't find Bilbo in his room when he went looking for him so he decided to check with the person who will definitely know where Bilbo is. "Do you know where Bilbo is?" Thorin asked as he entered Kíli's room.
"You mean he is not here?" Kíli asked and Thorin could sense worry in his tone. "Is he not here?"
Thorin's eyes widened. Bilbo was gone and no one knew where he was. This could end up badly; He reached for his phone to call Bilbo, just to make sure he was alright when he heard Kíli laughing.
"You should see your face! Priceless!" Kíli laughed as Thorin narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't worry your boyfriend is perfectly safe."
Thorin let out a sigh of relief. "Don't ever joke about things like that ever again," he ordered sharply.
"It's not my problem you don't have a GPS on your boyfriend," continued to tease Kíli.
"He is not my boyfriend," corrected Thorin and Kíli just shrugged. He had no idea in what kind of relationship his brother and his pregnant friend were. "And I don't need to have a GPS on him. He is perfectly capable of telling me where he is."
"Then why are you asking me?" asked Kíli, just to annoy Thorin a little more.
"Argh…" groaned Thorin. "Will you just tell me where he is or not?"
"He went out with Fíli and Bofur," simply explained Kíli and he could swear that he saw Thorin's jaw drop.
"Fíli and Bofur?" Thorin asked after he got his thoughts back. He didn't expect something like that from Bilbo, especially when they both knew Bofur had a huge crush on him. "What is he doing with him?"
"Well," started Kíli, "He had that birthing class today and he promised Fíli he could go with him the next time. And then Bofur was there… And you know they are still friends and everything so he asked him to come too. It's fun to go. You get to do all the things that you would have to do with a real baby and Bilbo is really enjoying himself when he is there. And having Fíli and Bofur there should make things even better."
Thorin just nodded at the information Kíli has just given him before he left the room. The thing was that Bilbo didn't even mention having birthing class, nor he did mention taking Bofur with him. He didn't say anything to tell the truth. And he invited Bofur! That surely made Thorin's blood boil. So far Bilbo hasn't said a thing about the baby to Thorin, but apparently he shared everything with Bofur. How were they supposed to start a relationship when there were so many unresolved things between them?
:::
As expected Bilbo did have fun with Fíli and Bofur. They were nice company and he decided to invite Bofur with him the next time he would have this class. Even though Thorin now occupied most of his thoughts he still missed his friend. He missed talking to Bofur, telling him about his problems or just discuss things in general. It was hard being around him now that he knew he was in love with him, but Bofur has proved himself a real friend when he accepted the invitation and went with him to the birthing class.
When they were done Fíli and Bilbo escorted Bofur home before returning to the mansion. Bilbo was rather excited to see Thorin again. He didn't see him all day and he was hoping that Thorin was in the mood to listen because he wanted to tell him everything that has happened to him during the day.
He entered the house with Fíli, still laughing about a comment Fíli made during the class. "Thank you for coming with me today," said Bilbo.
"It was my pleasure. Can't wait until the next time," answered Fíli before he motioned Bilbo to the living room where Thorin was sitting on the couch with his laptop.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Fíli just smiled as he watched Bilbo almost run to his brother.
"Evening," greeted Bilbo as he slumped on the couch next to Thorin making sure to distract him so that Thorin would pay attention to him. "What are you doing?" Bilbo asked and tried to look but Thorin turned the screen away. "Hey!" he protested.
"I'm busy," explained Thorin sharply.
"Don't be so grumpy, Thorin," scolded Bilbo. "You are ruining the mood."
"Mhmmm," was the only response Bilbo got from him.
"Hey, tell me what's wrong," encouraged Bilbo and tried to close Thorin's computer.
"I told you I'm busy. I don't have time."
"Not even for me?" pouted Bilbo.
Thorin sighed before he closed his laptop and turned to Bilbo. "Enlighten me…"
Bilbo smiled happily before he started explaining. "Well, I had my birthing class today and it was so funny because Bofur-"
"I really don't care," said Thorin sharply and stood up to leave.
"Where are you going?" called Bilbo before he went after him. "Thorin?"
"I'm going out."
"And I'm going with you," decided Bilbo.
"No you are not," cut Thorin sharply. "I didn't ask you to come."
"So I'm not allowed to go with you?"
"No you are not," answered Thorin before he left. Bilbo stared after him for a minute before angrily storming back to his room. Thorin had no right to treat him this way.
:::
The next morning Thorin couldn't believe his eyes when he found Bilbo with his brothers waiting for him in the kitchen. "Why are you here? Don't you have better company to go to school with?"
"I decide to go with you," answered Bilbo and tried really hard to ignore Thorin's venomous tone. "Or is that a problem?"
"No, why would it be a problem? I just though we are not good enough for you, and that you prefer the company of others."
"Enough you two," interrupted Fíli. "We get it. You are angry at each other and now you are having some subtext conversation to deal with that. Just kiss already so that we can move on…"
"It wasn't my fault," they both said at the same time and looked at each other confused.
"Can we please go?" asked Kíli who wasn't in the mood to deal with Thorin and Bilbo's relationship so early in the morning. He would help them later. Thorin just nodded and everyone followed him in complete silence to the car.
As expected, Thorin and Bilbo did their best to ignore each other even though they were sitting together. The moment the car stopped in the parking lot in front of school, Fíli and Kíli disappeared, leaving Thorin and Bilbo alone for a few minutes.
"Listen," started Thorin calmly.
"No, you listen to me," ordered Bilbo. "You have no right to treat me this way. I did nothing wrong! You and your mood swings. Find me when Thorin I like comes back." Before Thorin could open his mouth to say something, Bilbo was already out of the car walking toward Bofur who was patiently waiting for him in front of school. Great, thought Thorin. With his behavior he managed to the thing he feared the most. He pushed Bilbo into Bofur's loving and waiting arms.
:::
When Kíli got back from school that day he realized that things between Bilbo and his brother didn't get any better. In fact, they only got worse. Bilbo was locked in his room, ignoring everything and everyone and Thorin was doing pretty much the same.
"Fíli, I need your help," started Kíli.
"If it has anything to do with Bilbo and Thorin I'm telling you in advance that I'm not helping you. Whatever is wrong between them it's their problem, not ours. If they want to start a relationship I think it's better they find a way to resolve their problems on their own. We can't be there for them all the time."
"But-" wanted to protest Kíli.
"Just leave them alone. They will find a way to resolve their problems."
"You and I both know that's not true," argued Kíli. "They are both too stubborn to even talk with each other, let alone discuss what happened."
"I'm not sorting this out for them," stated Fíli firmly.
"You don't have to. Just help me find out what went wrong."
"Fine," sighed Fíli. "Where do we begin?"
"Can you remember when the last time you saw them happy together was?"
Fíli thought about it for a second. "I spoke with Thorin in the morning and everything seemed fine. Then I didn't see him for the rest of the day because I was with Bilbo and I can assure you that he was happy when we returned from the class."
"I saw them both in the morning and then Thorin came to see and asked me about Bilbo."
"Was he happy or sad…"
"He seemed fine to me." Kíli thought about it for a second. "But then again… He did ask about Bilbo. But I don't think he would get so angry just because I decided to tease him a little."
"What did you say to him?"
"Nothing in particular. He asked me about Bilbo and I told him that his boyfriend is with you and Bofur and then he left."
Fíli just shook his head. Kíli really didn't know what he did wrong. "And you haven't thought about the fact that Thorin might be angry because Bilbo invited Bofur with us. Think about for a moment. They decided they want to be friends or whatever but neither of them does anything about it. Sure they spend time together, but when it comes to things that really matter they both decide to ignore it."
"So what you are trying to say that Thorin is jealous of Bofur?"
"I was thinking more like disappointed that Bilbo didn't tell him about the class or invited him to come."
"He would never have come," argued Kíli.
"True, but he didn't even get the chance to say no. And to tell the truth I think that Thorin would want to go, just so that he could spend some time with Bilbo."
Kíli had to admit that his brother did have a point. Bilbo most likely didn't want to say anything to Thorin because he was afraid of the rejection, and Thorin was probably hurt that Bilbo didn't want him there. They really had no idea how to deal with these sorts of things. He could talk with his brother about it. Explain to Thorin that Bilbo had no idea that this would hurt him but that would make things even more awkward because Thorin then wouldn't know what to do. There was only one option left. He needed to talk with Bilbo.
He knew that Bilbo would be upset about everything but he never even thought that he would find him quietly sobbing into the pillow. "Hey, what's wrong?" he immediately asked as he sat down on the bed next to him. "Is this about the fight you had with my brother?"
"He is angry at me and I don't even know what I did wrong," silently explained Bilbo. "He is so angry at me that he didn't even come to say Goodnight."
Kíli was unsure how to proceed. Dealing with a sad person was one thing; dealing with emotional Bilbo was something completely different. "He's not mad at you."
"You know he is. I just can't do this anymore. I don't think I can ride this emotional roller coaster anymore." You and me both, thought Kíli. "It feels that we'll never get on the same page. We are too different."
"But you love my brother," commented Kíli. "I know you do. And you just had a disagreement. All the couples do. Please stop crying," said Kíli as he gently rubbed Bilbo's arm.
"I just want to apologize, but I don't know for what," continued to cry Bilbo. "He hates me now."
"No," quickly said Kíli. "He doesn't hate you. To tell the truth I don't think he could ever hate you. I think he is just a little sad because you didn't ask him to go with you to that class." Kíli purposely left out the part where he told Thorin about the class and the fact that Bilbo invited Bofur.
"But he would never want to come."
"True, but that doesn't mean he isn't upset about it."
Bilbo finally looked Kíli in the eyes. "How do I fix this?"
"You could ask Thorin to go somewhere else with you," offered Kíli. "If he says no, then he has absolutely no reason to be upset. If he says yes, then you'll have some company. Isn't that great?" Bilbo just nodded before pulling the pillow closer. "I'm happy that you have calmed down," added Kíli before wishing him Goodnight and leaving the room.
As luck would have it he met Thorin on his way back to his room. "Bilbo wants to talk with you," was all that he said to his older brother before he disappeared into his room.
Thorin just sighed. He wanted to talk with Bilbo but he didn't want to argue with him. They have had enough arguments as it is. On the other hand avoiding Bilbo won't solve their problem so Thorin did the only thing he could. He went to talk with Bilbo.
He knocked gently on the door before quietly entering his bedroom. "You asleep?"
"No," came the reply.
Thorin closed the door before slowly approaching the bed. "Kíli said you wanted to talk with me," he explained. Bilbo didn't answer his question he just looked him in the eyes and Thorin immediately knew why Kíli said to go talk with him. Bilbo has been crying, that much was obvious. "I- I just wanted to apologize for my behavior last night," started Thorin. "I don't know what came over me."
"I forgive you," said Bilbo who didn't tear his eyes away from Thorin. "And I'm sorry for not telling you about my class."
"No, you had every right not to tell me. After all, it's your choice who you want to take with you."
Bilbo understood what Thorin was implying but he decided to ignore it. The last thing they both needed was another argument about Bofur. "I was meaning to ask you if… If you would like to go to my next appointment with me?" Bilbo bit his lower lip as he waited for Thorin to reply.
"I would love to." He smiled before placing a kiss on Bilbo's forehead. The younger teen then moved away a little making some space for Thorin to join him on the bed. And Thorin did accept Bilbo's invitation to his bed by making himself comfortable under the covers. The only problem was that Bilbo couldn't find a comfortable position and he kept tossing around for a few minutes, trying to snuggle closer to Thorin. "I'm sorry my sweet but you'll have to choose. Me or the pregnancy pillow." Bilbo tried to find a comfortable position once again before allowing Thorin to toss the pillow on the floor.
"Stop laughing," Bilbo ordered as Thorin continued to chuckle after Bilbo was snuggled close to him. "It's not funny."
"Of course it was funny," argued Thorin. "Your determination to sleep with that pillow is amazing."
"I like that pillow. It's comfortable to sleep with."
"You can always get it back and I can leave…" continued to tease Thorin, so that Bilbo would try to pull him closer.
"No. You are staying right where you belong."
"And where is that exactly?"
"Next to me," smiled Bilbo before he snuggled into Thorin's warmth and dozed off.
:::
Much to everyone's amazement Thorin and Bilbo didn't have another fight. They were still getting through 'I'm getting to know you better' faze and everyone was starting to lose patience about it, especially Fíli who absolutely hated when Bilbo was texting with Thorin, who was in the next room by the way, while he was supposed to be helping him with history. It looked like they were once again stuck at one point of their relationship and that they didn't know how to proceed. That was the general opinion.
Bilbo on the other hand was quite enjoying this slow pace for a change. He realized that the more time he spent with Thorin the more he knew about him. There were simple things that Bilbo found in Thorin's behavior that were like key points about Thorin's current mood. The way he closed the door or threw his car key on the table told Bilbo a lot. He didn't need Thorin telling him he had a bad day, Bilbo just knew that and in time like that he left him alone until he calmed down so that they were able to talk. One could say that in a few short weeks Bilbo Baggins has become quite an expert on Thorin's behavior.
"Ready?" asked Thorin as he walked into Bilbo's room. The younger boy just finished dressing up because they were supposed to go to the appointment together. Bilbo just nodded before he went to hug Thorin. Another habit he started doing in the last few weeks. "Are you warm enough?"
"I have two shirts on me and a jacket. I think that's enough."
"I just don't want you to be cold."
"I have you. You'll keep me warm."
Thorin just smiled before he took his hand and led him down to his car. The ride there was short and uneventful but Thorin could sense Bilbo was in a good mood. The truth was that Bilbo was really happy that he got some company and the fact that this company was Thorin himself made everything even better. When they arrived Thorin parked the car and then they headed inside.
The moment they entered the waiting room seven pairs of eyes looked in their direction. Never before has Thorin felt so exposed and judged. "They are staring at us," he commented quietly as he helped Bilbo with his jacket.
"Of course they are. What did you expect?" Thorin took his jacket and once again looked around. At least now they were pretending not to stare at them. "Thank you," said Bilbo and led Thorin to two empty chairs.
"What in the world is so interesting that they keep staring at us?" asked Thorin as he once again caught one of the women looking at him.
Bilbo rolled his eyes before answering quietly. "Where do I start? First: I'm pregnant. Second: I'm a teen. Third: I came to my appointment with another teen, holding his hand. Fourth: we are both male. Do you want me to continue or did you get the point?"
"I got the point, thank you. I just don't get it why they feel the right to judge. Half of them are not even married. Take a look. No rings," pointed out Thorin.
"Just because they don't have a ring that doesn't mean they don't have a partner," reasoned Bilbo. "Besides, I think most of them are not judging me but my parents and the way they raised me. I can almost hear their thoughts. What kind of parents does he have? Don't they have any morals? Haven't they taught him anything? It's pointless anyway. Just try not to think about it." Thorin didn't have much of a choice but to accept Bilbo's hand and then wait for them to be called in. They had to wait almost an hour before Bilbo was called in, pulling Thorin with him.
"Hello," the nurse greeted. "You brought some company today I see."
"That's not a problem, is it?"
"Of course not," smiled the nurse. "It's nice that you are not alone. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," answered Bilbo and followed the nurse. He knew what was about to follow. Weight, blood pressure and a few pointless questions.
"Please step on," said the nurse and Bilbo obliged.
But Thorin was curious as well and he tried to see the number on the display but Bilbo quickly covered it with his hand. "No, you don't get to see it."
"Oh come on…," sighed Thorin and rolled his eyes. "It's not a big deal. You are pregnant, it's normal for you to gain weight." Even though Thorin had a good argument Bilbo still refused to move his hand so Thorin backed away to give Bilbo some privacy until they were led to the doctor's office. Luckily they didn't have to wait long for the doctor.
"Hello Bilbo… And Thorin," she added when she saw him. "This is a pleasant surprise, seeing you both here." Thorin just stared at her, not knowing what to say to her comment. "Don't look at me like that, Thorin," she smiled, "I'm happy that you are both here. Shall we get to the business?" Bilbo nodded in response.
"Everything looks normal," Arwen said after she quickly scanned the file with her eyes. "Let's take a look, shall we?"
Bilbo as always lied down on the table and lifted his shirt up. The skin on his belly had a few stretch marks, a reminder that the baby was constantly growing. Thorin sat down next to him and took hold of his hand as they waited for Arwen to prepare the machine.
"Have you already felt it move, Thorin?" she asked.
"Hmm, no… Was I supposed to already feel it?"
"I would say that you'll be able to feel it any day now."
"The movement I've been feeling has been slowly intensifying," said Bilbo as Arwen put a generous amount of gel on his stomach.
"You can expect to start feeling kicks really soon. Then you'll both be able to feel it." She moved the probe over Bilbo's belly checking a few things before she turned the screen toward Bilbo and Thorin to get a look. "Would you like to know the sex?"
Bilbo stared at the screen for a few seconds before he looked at Thorin. "It's your decision," Thorin told him and then Bilbo shook his head. "No, I don't want to know."
"Well then I'm just going to tell you that your baby is developing perfectly. It's the right size and everything looks just normal." She pressed a few buttons and turned the machine off before giving Thorin some paper towels to help Bilbo clean his stomach. "I'll get you the picture. Please wait here, I still want to talk with you two about something."
She left them alone for a second and Thorin gently cleaned Bilbo's belly before helping him to sit back up. "What do you think she needs to talk with us?" Thorin asked and Bilbo shrugged.
"I have absolutely no idea. I just hope everything is alright."
"Of course everything is alright," said Thorin before kissing Bilbo's forehead just when Arwen has returned.
"I had a feeling this you two are getting along better," commented Arwen as she gave Bilbo the picture and then sat down in front of them, looking completely serious. "There is another thing a wanted to discuss with you two." Bilbo swallowed hard, he was afraid of what she was about to say. "I don't know in what kind of a relationship you two now are, nor do I care, but I think it's the right thing to talk about having sex." Bilbo's ears turned red from the embarrassment at her words. "Now since you both have been sexually active before I'm not going to explain that you need to be gentle with your partner, but since you are pregnant Bilbo I wanted to remind you of that. I'm not saying you can't have intercourse, because you can. As long as you are comfortable with it, it's perfectly safe, just don't put too much pressure on your belly. What I'm trying to say that don't go into extremes. It's perfectly normal to have intercourse during pregnancy, some would actually encourage it, but like I said before, not all positions are comfortable while there is a belly between the partners. If you do decide to have intercourse take it slow and everything will be fine."
Thorin was surprisingly calm during Arwen's speech. He was planning to ask her about it himself so in a way she saved him from asking. "Any questions?" Bilbo just shook his head. This was far worse than talking about sex with his father.
"Let's say that it happens," started Thorin slowly, unsure if he should ask the question as he felt Bilbo's hold of his hand tightened. "I can't really… you know… while I'm in… hit it or something?" Bilbo wanted to die from the embarrassment.
"No, it's perfectly safe," assured him Arwen. "Any other questions? Bilbo?"
"Can we please go?"
Arwen tried really hard to suppress a chuckle. "You can go. I'll see you in a few weeks."
Bilbo didn't hesitate saying goodbye and pulling Thorin out of the office. Once they were outside Thorin couldn't help but laugh. "Come on, it wasn't that bad."
"She wanted to talk about sex!" exclaimed Bilbo, not really angry he just wanted to make a point.
"So?"
"It's… It's…"
"Perfectly normal," finished Thorin. "Don't tell me you never thought about it." Bilbo refused to say anything. "I think she did the right thing. Now if we ever have sex this won't be hanging in the air between us."
Bilbo deliberately decided to ignore him. He didn't really feel comfortable talking about it. Not even with Thorin, at least not yet. "I want ice-cream. Chocolate ice-cream."
"Now?" questioned Thorin, a little surprised by Bilbo's request. "But it's freezing outside."
"I still want it." Thorin really didn't have the heart to say no to him.
:::
It took them about ten minutes to get to the shopping center because Bilbo wanted to get ice-cream there. He accepted Thorin's hand as they walked together to get it.
"Thank you for going with me today."
"It was fun. Though I still don't understand why you didn't let me see your weight."
"Because it's not important," tried Bilbo, but quickly realized there was no point in lying to Thorin. "Because I gained a lot of weight. You have no idea how much."
Thorin smiled and pulled him closer. "Well just to clear this up once and for all, you look beautiful, and with this jacket no one can notice that you are pregnant." Bilbo smiled before he snuggled into the warmth.
Thorin bought him the ice-cream he wanted before they found an empty bench and they decided to sit down.
"Do you want some?" Bilbo asked and offered him the ice-cream.
"No, thank you."
"Come on, try it," encouraged Bilbo and waited for Thorin to taste it. "It's good, isn't it?"
"Yes, but I still think eating ice-cream while it's so cold outside it's not the best of ideas." Bilbo just shrugged before he continued eating. "I'll be right back," suddenly said Thorin and stood up.
"Where are you going?" Bilbo quickly asked.
"I'll be right back. Wait here," was the last thing Thorin said before he disappeared.
Bilbo was left alone for almost twenty minutes before Thorin returned. For a minute he thought that Thorin forgot about him. "I thought you have left."
"I would never do that to you," Thorin smiled. Bilbo sensed he was up to something.
"Where were you?"
"I went to get something," simply explained Thorin and presented Bilbo with the cutest plush bunny he has ever seen.
"For the baby?" Bilbo asked as he accepted the gift. The thought that Thorin would be the first on the buy something for the baby sounded amazing.
"For you," Thorin explained simply.
"For me?"
"Yes, I thought you deserved to get something as well so that you won't forget that there is always someone thinking about you."
Bilbo hugged the plush close to his chest. "Thank you, Thorin."
Thorin just smiled in return before he leaned down and after a few weeks finally kissed Bilbo properly. The younger boy immediately responded to the kiss with the same eagerness, completely forgetting that they were in the shopping center. Thorin broke the kiss for a second only to be pulled into another one by Bilbo.
"Take it easy, you know," he reminded him.
"We were taking it easy and slow for too long," answered Bilbo. "I was getting bored."
"Good," murmured Thorin into the kiss. "I was getting bored too."
Author's notes:
All mistakes are mine.
It's a longer chapter because it's been two weeks since I updated. Let me know what you think. If you are interested you can find me on Tumblr or email me. When I have time I always love to chat.
Oh, and just one more thing. If anyone is willing to go through the next chapter when it's finished let me know. Don't need to correct much, just the typos because I really don't have time.