AN: So I forgot to ask! Has anyone gotten a Pottermore account yet? I have an it's true. *strikes heroic pose* I am definitely a Hufflepuff!
AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs (You mean quiff? HEY LEAVE EDWARD OUT OF THIS! He can't help that he got turned into a sparkling vampire!)!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su I don't even think Tara knows what a Mary Sue is…)ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u (Fuck you.)!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111 (I say we all go kill Raven and Tara in their sleep.)
"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111 (Erm, okay.))." Serious said 2 Snape.
"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed. (The education system has really gone downhill.)
"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum (…Whoa…I-I can't believe this. My mind is BLOWN…how can Voldemort have a hair product if he has no hair?) out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it (So…Friking…Confuzzled.). He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap (Poor Snap. Crackle and Pop will surely miss you.) . Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes (He sometimes dresses like a woman and dances to Singing In the Rain!). Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort (Mehh but I'm TIRED. Can't we just be death eaters?). Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store (But…Your going to…And…But now…ugh.).
"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.
"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick. (Sorry everyone. The outfit description started and just fell fast asleep.)
"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. (No she's a fugly slut.)
"Fangs." I said. (Go die.)
"Ok now you're going to go back in tim (Tim does not want you in him.)." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz (…Okay?)." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill (Leave. Resident Evil. Out. Of. This.). Then she gave me a black time-tuner (Of COURSE it's black.). "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me (What does a Pensive have—Oh screw it.). Every1 went in front of it.
"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then... I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive (I would have jumped normally…just saying…).
Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz (Oh hell here we go again.) I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was...Tom Bombodil (Tom BOMBODIL? As in Tom BOMBODIL from Lord of the Rings?...SHIT JUST GOT FREAKING REAL! I AM GOING TO KILL HER IN HER SLEEP AND THEN HAVE A UNICORN EAT HER THEN SHIT HER OUT!)!1111