The Miracle of Love
Chapter 23
For a change when Thorin woke up he was in a very good mood. And that had absolutely nothing to do with Bilbo. No, absolutely nothing. It was just that for some reason Bilbo made him happy, and he couldn't stop smiling when he was with him, or when Bilbo allowed him to kiss him… And that annoying fluttering feeling in his stomach refused to stop. Maybe he was just getting sick. Lovesick, he could almost hear Kíli say. But there was something different pulling him out of the bed this morning, not the usually annoying alarm clock. This time the need to see Bilbo practically dragged him out of the bed and into the kitchen downstairs.
He could hear everyone talking when he descended the stairs to join them. The last thing he expected was to almost bump into Bilbo, who was clearly headed out.
"Oh, sorry," apologized Bilbo when Thorin caught him in the last moment, "I didn't see you."
And there it was, that smile, that condemning smile that turned Thorin's brains into jelly. "Don't worry, it wasn't your fault," he spoke quietly, knowing that his mother and the twins were watching them. This was the last thing he wanted. "Are you already leaving? Won't you wait for me?"
"I was already… You know…."
"I know," answered Thorin calmly, which was really a surprise for Bilbo, who, in a way, expected one of Thorin's jealous outbursts. "Will I see you after school?"
Bilbo sent him a look. "I live with you, of course you are going to see me, silly," he said and then bit his lower lip. He really wanted to do something, but he wasn't sure how Thorin would take it. He quickly glanced back to Fíli and Kíli, before getting of his toes and stealing a kiss from Thorin.
Thorin was surprised to say the least. He didn't expect this from Bilbo, especially not so soon and in front of his family. Bilbo shifted nervously on his feet and blushed as he carefully studied his reaction. In the corner of his eyes Thorin could see Fíli and Kíli grinning like fools. If they wanted to see more they were about to see it. Thorin cupped Bilbo's cheeks before pressing their lips together into a lingering kiss. He wanted this for some reason, and apparently Bilbo did too.
"Okay, you proved your point," laughed Kíli when they pulled apart. "Can we go now?" he asked and Bilbo found himself nodding, not once breaking his eye contact with Thorin.
"I'll see you later," smiled Thorin.
"Later," said Bilbo once he regained his ability to speak. "Bye," he said as Kíli pushed him out of the door, urging him to move, as Bilbo continued to look at Thorin.
"Yeah, yeah, we get it," he said a little annoyed. "You'll get to see him later," was the last Thorin heard Kíli say before they were out of the house.
The only person left in the house was Valla. "Good morning, Mother," smiled Thorin rather awkwardly before he joined her for breakfast.
"Someone is in a good mood," she smiled.
"Yeah… It's a beautiful day," answered Thorin.
"I saw that you and Bilbo are getting along better. I'm happy for you…"
Thorin became alarmed the moment she trailed off. "But…"
Valla looked him in the eyes. "Nothing."
"No," insisted Thorin, "you wanted to say something, but then you didn't finish. Tell me what you wanted to say."
His mother sighed before she placed her hand on his, as if trying to calm him down. "I'm happy that you and Bilbo are getting along, but I can't help but worry."
"Why? What could possibly go wrong?"
"Thorin, sweetheart," Thorin always hated it when his mother called him like that, "I can see how he affects you, how he affects your behavior, how you changed since he came to live with us. And this is all great," she quickly added before Thorin could protest. "But you and I, and Bilbo, all know that he will eventually have to leave and that the baby will stay. You may not want to see it this way, but that's the truth. In a few months, when he gives birth he will leave, that was the deal. I'm sorry."
"He won't be moving on the other side of the planet," argued Thorin. He understood what his mother was trying to tell him, but he still refused to believe it.
"No, he won't," agreed Valla, "but no matter how strong he may appear right now, I know that he's falling apart inside. He loves the baby and giving it up will probably be the hardest thing he'll ever have to do in his life. He is determined not to show that to anyone, but when the time comes I fear he won't be able to hold himself back together."
"I could be there for him," offered Thorin.
Valla took a deep breath; this wasn't easy for her too. Her son has finally found someone to care about and now all this was doomed to failure. "I'm afraid you won't be able to. Can you be with there for him, offer him support, and then every night come back to the one thing he'll want to have the most but you will never be able to give to him? Are you sure you can handle the disappointment when he'll ask about the child, and you won't be able to tell him anything, because you'll know that this will only pain him? Can you do all these things and love him the way he deserves?"
Thorin remained silent and stare at his mother with a blank expression.
"I'm sorry," Valla spoke quietly, "but that's just the way things are. I won't say anything if you two decide to be together, it was never my intention to discourage you. I just wanted to protect you both from a broken heart, before it's too late." She squeezed his hand before she left.
Thorin just sighed. "It's already too late."
:::
"Can you please stop," asked Bilbo annoyed when the brothers didn't stop making kissing faces at him. "I'm serious, stop."
"You sound just like Thorin," teased Kíli.
"Maybe because he is with Thorin," continued Fíli.
"Stop it. I'm not with Thorin. It was just a kiss, that's all," insisted Bilbo.
"I bet you're going to sleep with him before the year is out," said Kíli and Bilbo's eyes widened.
"Firstly, this is private. And secondly, I'm not going to sleep with him."
"That's what you say now. I'm going to ask you in a few weeks if you still think the same."
"Can you now please stop," Bilbo pleaded when they approached Bofur, who was waiting for them. Bilbo decided to go to school with him and Fíli and Kíli decided to join them.
The brothers smirked before Kíli spoke again. "Later," he said in the same desperate tone Bilbo used when he said goodbye to Thorin. Bilbo just muttered something about how immature they were before he greeted Bofur.
"So, how was the appointment yesterday?" his friend asked. "You know, I could have gone with you, there was no need for you to go all alone." Kíli wanted to say something, but at the last moment held back. Apparently Bilbo forgot to mention to Bofur that he wasn't going alone. His friend was starting to lose himself in the labyrinth of lies. It was only a matter of time before there would be absolutely no way out, if he and Thorin didn't soon sort the thing between them.
"It was fine. Nothing special," Bilbo answered quickly.
"So the little one is doing okay?" Bilbo smiled and nodded. "And what about its Papa? How is he?"
"I'm fine, Bofur. Thank you for asking."
"No need to thank me. You are my friend, it's a normal thing to ask."
Fíli couldn't help but to roll his eyes as he walked with his brother behind them. Bofur was his friend, no one could argue with that. But this was just making his stomach turn. Bofur was doing all that he could so that Bilbo would change his mind and be with him. He wasn't sure if he should feel sorry for him, or if he should be angry because he was trying to steal his brother's boyfriend. Yes, no matter how much Thorin and Bilbo tried to deny it, Fíli already saw them together, and he wasn't the only one.
:::
The time at school was rather uneventful for Bilbo. He had lunch with Bofur before they went to the library to do some research for a paper that was due in tomorrow, and then he returned back to the mansion. And that's where the chaos began. Kíli was, to put it nicely, annoying. He once again fell asleep during history and as punishment he had to write a paper about the topic they were discussing while he was sleeping. But Kíli was smart. As Bilbo helped him many times before he was sure this would happen again, but surprisingly this time Bilbo refused to help him.
"No Kíli, I'm not writing this for you. I have to finish my paper and then I have to study."
"Please Bilbo," pleaded Kíli, "just this once. I promise I won't ask you ever again."
Bilbo just snorted at that. "I told you what you have to do. I even marked the pages in the book. All you have to do is read it and write a short summary. That shouldn't be so hard."
It wasn't hard to do, Kíli had to admit. But the problem was that he didn't want to do it. He wanted Bilbo's help, or in other words he wanted Bilbo to write it for him.
But sadly for him, Bilbo refused to change his mind and he rejected him every time he came into his room, begging for help, because he was stuck. When Kíli came for the sixth time, Bilbo had enough of everything. He couldn't study due to Kíli's constant interruptions, so he decided to find a quite place where no one would disturb him. Going back home was out of the question, since he didn't feel like walking, and moving to any other room in the house wouldn't prevent Kíli from disturbing him.
When Bilbo almost gave up he remembered something. There was a room in the house, he would bet that Kíli would never dare to enter. He quickly collected his books and took his pregnancy pillow before he waddled down the hall and stopped at the closed door. Thorin's room. He was never in his room, and he and Thorin never talked about it because it was always Thorin who came to sleep with him. But now… Now Thorin's room was the only one which was one hundred percent Kíli-free.
Bilbo took a deep breath before he decided to knock. He was going to do it, he started convincing himself but he never even touched the door. Thorin surely wouldn't be happy about him staying in his room. This was getting too personal. He turned around to return to his bedroom only to see that Kíli was once again heading toward his room. That was the last thing Bilbo needed to gather all the courage before he knocked.
"Go away!" he heard Thorin call so Bilbo knocked again. "I said: go away!"
"Thorin, it's me," said Bilbo and the next second the door opened.
"Hi, I didn't know it was you," Thorin quickly started to explain.
"It's alright," answered Bilbo awkwardly.
"Come in," said Thorin and moved away so that Bilbo could enter before closing the door behind him. "How can I help you."
"Well… Khmm," he cleared his throat, "Kíli is being a little annoying at the moment and I-I can't finish anything if he keeps coming to my room. I just need a quiet place where I can-"
"If you want you can stay here," Thorin offered before Bilbo had the chance to finish. "You can use the desk, I was just looking some stuff online, I don't really need it." Bilbo glanced quickly at the bed. He usually studied in bed where he was the most comfortable. "Or you can use the bed, I don't mind," offered Thorin.
"Thank you."
"If you need anything I'll be here," said Thorin before he returned to his computer.
Bilbo took a deep breath to calm himself from all this excitement inside him before he climbed on the bed and found a comfortable position to study. He was on Thorin's bed. He never believed that something like that will ever happen, but it did, and he couldn't be happier about it.
A few minutes later they heard Kíli yelling in the hall. "Very funny Bilbo! Hiding in Thorin's room, I should have expected something like that. I just hope you two have enough lube and condoms!"
Before Bilbo knew it Thorin was at the door yelling back. "Mind your own business!" He closed the door before opening them again. "And before you steal from me again, just a quick note. Only I know which ones I haven't punctured!" Thorin yelled before closing the door.
"Funny!"
Bilbo just stared at him, unsure what to think, or say. "Hm, so what did he steal from you?" he asked carefully.
"Nothing important," answered Thorin before turning his attention back to the screen and Bilbo to his books.
In the next hour or so, they couldn't stop glancing at each other. Bilbo would a lot of times catch Thorin looking at him, and when Thorin wasn't paying attention Bilbo stared at him, meeting Thorin's eyes, offering him a smile, before returning back to his books. He wanted so much for Thorin to join him on the bed, but he knew that wouldn't happen.
Suddenly Thorin broke the silence. "I'm just going to take a shower, you can stay here," was all that he said before he disappeared into the bathroom.
Bilbo just relaxed back in the pillows. They smelled like Thorin. And The room was definitely Thorin's, and Bilbo found himself liking the room. And the bed… The bed was so comfortable and it smelled like Thorin. And it was Thorin all the way. Why in the world Thorin came to sleep in his bed he would never know.
As he hugged one of the pillows close his chest and inhaled Thorin's scent, there was suddenly a gentle knock on the door.
"Bilbo, is Thorin still in the room?" Bilbo heard Kíli ask quietly, before the door opened slightly and Kíli's head appeared. "He's not here, is he?" he asked quietly.
"No, he is in the shower," answered Bilbo, not know why they were whispering.
"Good," said Kíli before he silently crept into the room. He walked to the nightstand on the left side of Thorin's bed before taking something out from the top drawer. Bilbo didn't quite see what exactly it was. "He keeps the punctured ones in the other one," Kíli quickly explained before throwing a glance at the nightstand next to Bilbo, "believe me, I tested them."
"What…?"
"Don't tell him I was here," was the last thing Kíli said before he disappeared.
Bilbo just shrugged, not knowing what to think of this whole ordeal, before he returned to his books. But there was something, something in that drawer. Something that Kíli mentioned, and it was starting to drive Bilbo crazy. He knew it was wrong, but he just couldn't help himself. He glanced toward the bedroom door, making sure Thorin was still in the shower before peeking inside the drawer.
What he found was at least a dozen condoms. He didn't know what to think so he pulled one out to take a better look.
"What are you doing here?" Bilbo jumped with surprise when Dwalin spoke. "Don't tell me you and Thorin-" said Dwalin when he saw the condom in Bilbo's hand.
"N-No," stammered Bilbo, "this isn't mine. We didn't… I wouldn't… Kíli said-"
"What are you doing here?" asked Thorin when he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. "I thought we were meeting in fifteen minutes."
"We are. I just came here early and I didn't want to stay downstairs all alone," explained Dwalin. "What is he doing here," he asked and gestured to Bilbo.
"I came here to study," quickly answered Bilbo. "I can leave-"
"No, stay," Thorin almost ordered. "We are going out anyway so you will have the quiet that you need."
"So you two didn't… You know…"
Thorin followed Dwalin's gaze to the condom in Bilbo's hand. "No… I wouldn't… Why do you have a condom in your hand again?"
Dwalin excused himself, informing Thorin that he will wait for him downstairs, so that they could finish their conversation in peace. "I-I didn't want to… But then Kíli… I just…" stammered Bilbo, not knowing how to explain.
"Kíli was in my room wasn't he?" Bilbo only nodded. "I knew it. That… Argh… I'm going to kill him if he doesn't stop going through my stuff!"
"He took something from the top drawer," silently confessed Bilbo.
"Yes, I know. That little thief. He's been stealing them for a few months now," Thorin admitted and Bilbo looked even more confused than before. "Condoms," Thorin clarified. "He's been stealing them from me. I told him that I've started puncturing them so that he would stop, but nothing seems to work."
"You punctured the condoms so that Kíli would learn his lesson? Have you lost your mind?!"
Thorin just rolled his eyes. "I just told him that, I never actually did it. They are still perfectly safe. I just told him that so that he would stop stealing."
"Why doesn't he just buy his own?" asked Bilbo.
"How should I know? He's so spoiled that he thinks he can do whatever he wants." Bilbo nodded before he closed the drawer. "You can stay here if you like. I don't mind."
"Thank you," said Bilbo and watched how Thorin once again disappeared into the bathroom, only to emerge a few minutes later impeccably dressed. Dressed to go out and have some fun, Bilbo quickly realized, and frowned. Thorin was going out to have fun. Most likely with other people and Bilbo guessed that the interactions wouldn't require much clothing.
"I'll see you later," said Thorin before he opened the drawer and took a few wrappers out, like he would normally do. But this time something was different. Bilbo was there and the look of disappointment in his eyes showed Thorin what he really thought of him. "Right," he said and returned the wrappers to the drawer. "There is a no to that," he silently muttered before he offered Bilbo a smile and left.
"You took long enough," complained Dwalin when Thorin finally showed up. "I thought you two were having a quick one."
Thorin just shook his head. "I don't think Bilbo will ever sleep with me again."
"Don't whine so much. Just offer him one of those rare smiles and I can guarantee you he'll start pulling the clothes off of you." Thorin couldn't help but laugh. "Do you have everything?"
Thorin made a quick check. Phone, car keys, no condoms… But something was missing. "I forgot something," he said and Dwalin groaned, "I'll be right back."
He ran up to his bedroom, only to find Bilbo exactly the way he left him a few minutes ago. "Did you forget something?"
"I did," confirmed Thorin before he climbed on the bed and pressed a quick kiss to Bilbo's lips. "Only for you," he said, before he once again disappeared. Bilbo hugged the pillow in his lap close to his chest and smiled. He was happy.
Author's notes:
It's been more than a month and I'm so sorry you had to wait so long. I have to admit that it wasn't easy finding Bilbo and Thorin again. At the beginning everything was wrong. I don't know how to explain it. They just weren't the same. Double the Trouble certainly helped with that, and I think that they are the same as they were before. I hope you enjoyed this rather short chapter (I promise that in the future I'll try to make them longer), and please let me know what you think.
In three weeks I'm all yours :-)