Please note that the world of Harry Potter belongs to Rowling, therefore I take no credit in it or the characters I use for this fanfic.
Remus sat curled up in one end of the livingroom sofa in front of the fireplace with a cup of tea in his hands. He found this red velvet sofa much prettier and much more comfortable than the one he'd had with Tonks, it just screamed of Sirius, which was always a good thing. And he found the company here much better than Tonks too. The fire and the tea was just what he needed, The Grimmauld Place could be really cold even though it was already spring, but on the other hand, Remus was always cold. It came hand in hand with being a skinny werewolf.
"Now that I've gotten my tea, would you care to explain to me where I am and how I ended up here?" Remus asked Sirius with a confused look on his face.
He'd wanted to ask Sirius from the moment he woke up, but found that talking at all is very difficult when your mouth is being played with by another mouth. So he decided he'd ask about it later, when they'd had their fun. And that seemed to take quite a while, almost five hours to be precise.
Sirius laughed a little and then flashed his signature lopsided grin that Remus had learned to love back in his schooldays.
"Well, you're dead, as you might have figured out. So am I. But we're not in heaven, and we're not in hell. I'm not really sure of it myself, but as far as I understand it we're like ghosts, but we can't be seen by living people. And if you don't know where you are, you must either be blind or have a terrible memory loss, you're in Grimmauld Place, my house, remember? And apparently, Death has a certain soft spot for the Black Family. So since I'm still a part of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, he was willing to negotiate with me."
Sirius winked and Remus' expression grew even more puzzled.
"What do you mean?" he said and looked at Sirius as if he would be able to figure this out if he just looked at Sirius closely enough. Even Remus' smart brain couldn't figure this out on it's own.
"I mean that I made a small request for Death that if you happened to pass by then he would send you here to me and send your bloody wife somewhere totally else, to heaven maybe. As long as she'd be far away from you, and you'd be living here with me. I'm sorry, but I wanted you all to myself, like I never got to have you when we were alive."
Sirius suddenly started staring out into space and looked a little sad.
"And he did it? Just like that? You didn't have to sell him your soul or anything?", he tried to sound humorous, but there was a trace of worry in his voice.
"Do you want some more tea?" Sirius asked, and it was quite clear he was trying to avoid the question.