AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story (*Snape voice* Obviously.)!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs (…Gee how'd ya know?) so FUK U (Her vocabulary of insults is so limited.)!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help (Screw you Raven.)!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day (Surprise, surprise.). Draco waz gone (Good, stay away from MY Draco.). I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end (Ugh wake me up when the outfit descriptions are OVERR.). There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth (*jolts awake*…You have GOT to be kidding.). I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly... Sorious cocked (O.o Awkward spelling mistake…)on da door. I hopened it.

"Hi Ibony (Hm…I like Ibony better than Ebony XD)." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office (Oh the truth potion addict!)."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice (Why you so depressed .?). I had wanted to fuk Draco (-_- Oh.) or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence (Leave Evanescence out of this Dx!). I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily (WHORE!).

"I fucking tortured them (o.o Note to self everyone; Don't get on Tara's Serious Black's bad side!)." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

I laughed evilly (Bitch please, you can't beat my evil laugh. So don't even you poser.).

"Where r Draco and Vampira (Vampira? Is Harry/Vampire a chick now…?)?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily (Are they fucking while having this conversation 'Cuz honestly that would NOT surprise me at all.). "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas (I love that movie x3)."

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there (No duh.). She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic (Wha—what pic O_O)

She wuz drinking some Volximortserum. (Truth addict *shakes head*)

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner (At least she's leaving Tim alone.).

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now (Damn it. Tom, er "Satan" is as annoying as the rest of them.). Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited (It's called, WILL POWER!)." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then...I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around...I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula (You are hardcore.). It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan (You mean your mom? Sorry…I had to throw in a "Your Mom" joke somewhere in this…carry on.). On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes (I think I know that guy! He sold me oregano instead of weed! Classic prank…and I fell for it.). He looked just like Charlyn Manson (I was kidding, please don't send me to jail for illegal drug dealings Dx). I noticed...he was drinking a portent (…What the HELL is a portent? How do you mix up potion and portent. OH FORGET IT .).

"Whose he!11" I asked. (He. Is. Your. FATHER!)

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn (*snorts* Slutborn? I be he's Ebony's father…just saying.)." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher (Hey look everyone, Tara got ONE fact right! Slughorn WAS the potions teacher when Tommy was a kid. Sure she spelled it wrong…completely wrong…but were making progress!)...Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight (They. Don't. EXSIST YET!)? And they r showing The Exercise (XD The Exercise? I can so see those two going to a movie where a perky woman is like, "All right gang! Let's jazzercise!) at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me (…Is this supposed to be a suspenseful cliffhanger or what…?)?