The Heart of a Lion

Chapter 14: Revenge

It was official that my happiness was crushed. It was stomped in the dust, left to be forgotten so that I couldn't feel anything more.

I couldn't stop reliving what happened yesterday. It was early the next morning. I had returned to camp late that night and I hadn't got a wink of sleep since. How could I when I destroyed my relationship. No, it was Breezepelt's fault. He is the one who forced me to do it. He was standing there the whole time as I tore Lionblaze to pieces, savoring every moment of it.

The thought made me dizzy. I was numb to the other queens in the nursery, to my kits crawling around in my nest, and to my own senses. Gorsetail seemed to notice that something bad happened although she didn't ask me what. She seemed to realize that whatever it may be, it was none of her business. She abruptly left the nursery, giving me alone time with my kits. The silence was welcoming.

Lionblaze believed me. He took in every word of what I said. I saw the hurt and fury in his golden eyes, and it cut me to the core. The whole time I lied to him, I tried to meet his eyes to give him some signal that this wasn't actually real, but it went undetected. How could he not notice when I was so desperate?

The rest of the day went slowly. I wanted to rest but couldn't. Ashfoot brought me some fresh-kill but I ignored it. I felt like I was slowly dying from the guilt that steadily consumed me. I was afraid something would happen. There was no way this situation would get any better now that I had hurt Lionblaze's feelings.

I eventually stepped out of the nursery to peek outside when I heard Onestar call a meeting. He gave the traditional summons and all of WindClan gathered around him. He stood tall with Ashfoot by his side.

Silverkit, Swiftkit, and Springkit were fast asleep in their nest. It would be okay to venture into the circle and hear what Onestar wanted. I began to wonder. He wasn't the type of leader to call meetings on a whim. My gut twisted as I feared something was dreadfully wrong.

I stepped to the outer ring of the circle, feeling less self-conscious since no one seemed to pay any attention to me. I felt like prey as I scoured the group for Breezepelt, hoping he wasn't here. I never ever wanted to see him again. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of a black pelt until I realized it was only Nightcloud. I went through the same miniature heart failure when I saw Crowfeather on the other side of Onestar.

I sighed.

"Hey, honey," a voice purred behind me.

I whirled around, spitting hatred into Breezepelt's face. He was the last cat I wanted to see, and it took all my restraint not to spring and claw out his cold amber eyes out right now. "What do you want?"

"I was just checking to see how my mate is doing."

"Don't you ever call me that!" I shouted, my voice rising. "I will never be your mate. I already said I never want to see you again." Then I stormed off to the nursery.

I tried to ignore the silence that filled the clearing as my Clanmates stopped to observe the scene. I didn't care. I quickly hid behind the walls of the nursery and retreated my nest, feeling like I was going to die inside.

What was worse: I heard Breezepelt consoling the concerned cats outside.

"It's all right. Heathertail is just a little stressed from taking care of the kits. She didn't get much sleep last night."

Sure, that is exactly what happened! Didn't anyone in the Clan see Breezepelt was a blackmailing liar like I did? I couldn't believe he was trying to make excuses for me to make our imaginary relationship seem more real to the Clan.

Lionblaze, where are you? I thought despairingly. I need you now more than ever. If only you understood…