CHAPTER 19 – LOST IN THE FRAY
She questioned her anger, but went to see Sam first, before going back to the infirmary. Sam sat in her office, hunched slightly over the computer with a pensive look on her face.
"Colonel Carter... Sam?" Nicole knocked softly on the door before popping her head around and moving into the room as soon as she was acknowledged. "I need to talk to you. I need to find out what happened earlier."
"Sit down Nicole. I'm sorry to have upset you like that. It was really between John and myself and I would have preferred not to put you in the position of having to either defend or be angry at him. Protocol and rules are something that we try to follow as best as we are able out here. This is the front line, so to speak, and while we are only at war with one group, this is - for all intents and purposes, the one way back to earth. For us, and for those who seek to annihilate us in order to gain a new feeding ground. Without those rules, as with any society - we would fail. John knows this. He chose to flaunt those rules today, and while a part of me, the soldier? Understands why he did what he did - the commander in me needs to make him aware that it is not acceptable."
"What happened Sam? Did you find out who flew the jumper?" Nicole had made herself comfortable, even so far as to reach out and pick up one of Sam's paperweights, an unsual shaped cup with a heavy base. Absently, she turned it over in her hands, admiring the workmanship.
"That's the problem Nicole, and I need to discuss this with John when he is up and about. It's going to be almost impossible to isolate who flew that jumper. With the Athosians having their festival tonight, there have been all sorts of traffic between here and there. And even to isolate the time that you gave us - there were four jumpers that left at this time and all have been accounted for. That is, they all arrived at their destination and delivered what they were supposed to deliver. So we're back to square one."
"I don't think John got a good look at the one who hit him either... he said he saw a flash only, and he tried to recall features but perhaps when he is feeling better."
"Nicole, may I ask you something personal?"
Startled, Nicole looked quickly at the base commander, fairly sure she knew what was coming.
"What's happening between you and John. I'm sorry if I appear intrusive, but there's a potential situation that may arise, and your position here is more than just a little up in the air, as you well know. I don't know your history, although General O'Neill was kind enough to send through your bio, so I do have a heads up on what happened to your partner last year. I'm sorry, that must have been traumatic." She paused, watching as the eyes of the younger woman before filled slightly and saw her attempt to compose herself before answering.
"Yeah, that is personal and I prefer not to discuss either my partners death, or any possible relationship with Colonel Sheppard. And I stress the word "possible". You're right, my position here is uncertain and I have no wish to inflict myself on anyone for longer than necessary. If I can help sort out this mess, then I'm up for it. I'll act as bait, whatever... just tell me what you want me to do. I've blown enough lids off untruths and coverups over the years, I'm no stranger to the intricacies of an undercover operation, so if you let me have carte blanche, I'll find your man or men and bring them down. With a little help."
She was angry now and pushed herself up from her chair and angrily paced the room. Sam fought to keep down a smile She was like a tiny caged tiger, all claws and sharp teeth, but underneath was a softness that she did not allow herself to show. But Sam knew it was there, knew that she had been hurt and felt a urge to protect her.
"We'll work together Nicole. That's how we do it here. This is still run more or less as a military operation, we are a team and as such, decisions come from the top and are expedited by those who make up that team. We're happy to include you as a part of that team. You've proved you have strengths and abilities to bring to the table but I need to know that I can trust you to be a team player, and not an independent. Can I do that that, Nicole?"
"Don't treat me like a child. I may not have your military training, but I've out there in the world. My world. And I have street smarts, I can see inside a person and know when they're feeding me a line of crap. I'll work with you and be a part of your team. I'll follow orders... for as long as I think they're working. If I think they're not? Then I go my own way. That's the best I can give you for now. I won't lie to you, or pretend otherwise."
Respect for the photographer grew in Sam, and she gave it a minute's thought before nodding. "I trust you Nicole. There's something about you that makes me think you're essentially a good person and you'll do the right thing. I trust those instincts. If you want to get things started... a good place would be the Athosian festival tonight. Most people will be there, and they'll be watching to see what you do. They may attempt to make contact there. It'll be crowded and easy to get to you. I think we should let them make contact, get your instructions, pretend to work with them. That's the only way we are going to get to the top of the ladder. By starting at the bottom and working up. General O'Neill is still tracking down the man in your photo, following trails that have been blocked every step of the way. It'll take him some time, and this way? We can have a little of the fun at our end. You up for that?"
A smile crept over Nicole's face and suddenly she grinned. "Hell, yeah! And I even get to take photos... life is suddenly looking up!"
She swung herself out of the chair, lighter in both spirit and posture and almost danced to the door. Sam shook her head. She was almost a child, full of enthusiasm and energy and a mass of contradictions. If John wanted to pursue any sort of relationship with this woman, he would certainly have his hands full.
She burst into the infirmary an hour later and John's eyes were instantly drawn to her. He had woken up a half hour ago. Grumpy, thirsty and hungry. Certainly not the best patient in the world. Not by anyone's standards and certainly not by Carson's.
It was Carson who spoke to her first. "Ah lass. Just what the doctor ordered. I have an extremely grumpy Colonel that needs some entertaining or else I'm going to resort to a large and rather unpleasant needle to silence him."
Nicole's laughter rang out, clear and light and Carson's eyebrows rose and John just stared. Her face shone and he knew that something had changed in this woman and wondered what had brought on that change. Mercurial in mood and spirit without a doubt.
"Nic?" His voice was clearer and Nicole moved quickly to his side, smile still in place and her eyes probing his face to note that he appeared to be in less pain that when she had seen him last. "You get taken over by some alien entity? Where's the old Nicole... this one seems almost... happy."
She grinned, irrepressible now and bent down to drop a kiss lightly onto his forehead, causing his eyes to widen.
"And you Colonel, are apparently cranky. Wanna play a game?"
His eyes gleamed. "What kind of game? And can I get naked?"
Carson shook his head and wandered away. She was indeed a breath of fresh air and he wondered again what had changed.
"Clothes are not optional John, but you can choose the game. And yeah, I'm happy. I'm going to a festival tonight, get to take some great photos and hopefully meet up with the bastard who hit you. What's not to be happy about?"
His face immediately darkened. "The hell you are... Sam?" He suddenly bellowed her name, touching the place where his radio would normally be before realising that it had been removed after he had been brought into the infirmary. And recalling also that it had been broken.
Carson came running over with a worried look on his face. "Nic? Your happy face did not spread as much joy as I would have hoped... hmmm?"
"Jesus, John. Calm down. This is what we wanted. Smoke 'em out? Your words, not mine. And that is exactly what I'm going to do tonight. Sam and I talked about it."
He pushed himself out of the bed. "Not gonna happen. Not on my watch. Sam?" He bellowed again, not caring if there was no radio, simply venting out his frustration now.
Sam did come running. Carson had taken it upon himself to radio the Colonel and she arrived a little breathless in the infirmary.
"You bellowed John? You might want to keep your voice down to a dull roar... there were probably one or two people in Atlantis that may have missed you call..."
"Damn it Sam, enough! You can't send her to the festival as bait. Not without me there. If she goes, then I go. I feel fine, and if you're gonna work her into some sort of plan, then check with me first!"
Sam looked at him bemused. "Check with you? Last time I looked I was still base commander and decisions like that are mine. You run the military. This is not a military operation."
"It's a damn security operation, and I am head of security. Don't play a game of words with me, Sam. Not now."
"If you want to discuss this John, then fine. Let's discuss it. If you want to rant and rave, then no. Not interested. I'll override you and that'll be the end of that. So, what's it to be?"
He took a breath and saw the steel in her eyes. He'd pushed her too far, but damn it, they were all pushing him too far at the moment, and he felt he was about to snap. He did not do the invalid thing well, and with decisions being taken out of his hands, he hit out at the first thing he could. Those that were making the decisions. Time to back down a little and regroup. And bring things back around in his favour.
"Ok Sam... we'll talk. But if she goes, then I want to be there as well. That's a given. We'll talk strategy, but I need to be in on all the decisions... please."
He calmed himself as quickly as he could. He had seen the flash of aprehension that blossomed in her eyes at his sudden outburst and felt her withdrawal. The change in her mood was quick to follow and the anger rolled again across her lovely features. Like a small tidal wave she surged toward him, he hands held out until she made contact with his chest and pushed. Pushed hard.
"Stop treating me like a child. I don't need babysitting. I am an adult. Look!" He held her hands out now, indicating her body. "All grown up. Get it?"
He sighed. "I get it. Really. Calm down. But I'm your back up. No question, no argument. Together, ok?"
Her hands moved again, once again they were resting on his chest and he wondering at her restless energy, her constant need to move. Eyes drawn to her bandaged wrist, he lifted his own hands and wrapped them lightly around her wrists, careful of the damaged one.
"Calmer now?" He said it softly.
"Could ask you the same question... Colonel. I wasn't the one bellowing like a child having a tantrum."
Sam grinned. She couldn't help it – and Carson simply shook his head and wandered away. "She's got you there John. When you two have finished arguing semantics and comparing the size of each other's balls, come and see me. We'll discuss in more detail, what goes down tonight."
She turned and left them to it and heard a soft giggle which gradually grew louder. John definitely had his hands full with that one.