AN: Thank you everyone for your reviews! I love you guys! Just hang in a little longer. We fought on this long, we can do it! *strikes heroic pose*
AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF (Only a few more chapters…only…a…few… . )! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is (I had no idea until I read this. He's not even that good looking!) ur proly al prepz and pozers (Hell yea.)!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November dey put up my last chaptah (Brave soul, risking getting the blood sucked out of em.) but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy (…Doing what? You have no life! Unless she was in some sort of psycho place O.O and then she escaped therefore, I'M DOOMED Dx). im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out (I think she must mean Order of the Phoenix 'Cuz that's around the time this thing came out.) . Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks (How many vacations does this chick get to go on? Unless these "vacations" are the psycho place for trying to suck someone's blood in public.). OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie (He's mine bitch.)!111I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako.if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 (Do it, do it, DO IT!) raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland (If this Raven bitch goes to England one. More. Fjucking. Time. I WILL KICK A CASTLE!)(Not that there are any castle's where I am...).
When I wook up I wuz in a strange room (And a voice from a tape recorder that's dangling from the ceiling says, "Hello Ebony. I want to play a game.)". I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 (Whoa, she re-wears an outfit?) I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band (Honey, stories don't work like that.)2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles (OH FUCK NO! SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK! I'M GONNA KILL HER!) calanderwith a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.' (*is sobbing into her pillow* WHYYYYYYYY? I-I mean, I'm not a HUGE Beatles fan but I was brought up on that kind of music. THAT MUSIC IS MY CHILDHOOD WHICH SHE JUST DESTROYED!)
"OMFG! Im back in Tim again (*looks up from pillow, still wailing* Leave Tim alone you heartless bitch!)!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss! (No. Shit.)). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11 (…She can't even use the word "orgy" right.)
"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally. (*twirling wand* She won't be for loooong.)
"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily (He was just trying to be nice o.O. Heheh did anyone else picture her snapping her fingers and getting all sassy.). "OMG am I dedd (*Admiring wand* You will be sooooon.)?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111 (*Is trying not to hex all of them*)
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing (It's amazing how she escapes death. One day it'll come to collect *smiles eerily*.). I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine (You can't use the time-turner to go to the future! *looks around uncertainly* Can you?).
"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily (There is nothing sexy about smoking.)and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet (She keeps changing everything Dx first she can't die 'Cuz she was "from the future", now it's 'Cuz she's a vampire?). Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing (…Ebony's dad is in this .)."(Oh, she meant Harry. *troll face*)
I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future (But he—and you—and I—whatever *pouts*.). "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew (This make's sense.) (Just kidding, it doesn't.)
"Yah I know but he had a headache (I wonder if at Tara's house she uses that excuse after cussing her parents out, which I'm sure she does the little delinquent.)he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly. (Reasoned evilly?)
"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly (Seductively has become my least favorite word after forty chapters of it being used stupidly.) outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy (Not another one DX)!11He had bleched blond hair (Only Draco can pull that off ;D)wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties (…Green Day wasn't out in the 80s for the hundredth time.)), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday (*yawns loudly*) and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically. (You spoke to her new "goffik" guy. *crosses arms* You are one of THEM.)
"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him. (Ebony dear, we talked about your social skills.)
"Dis is...Hedwig (…Well…*points wand at own head* Avada Kedevra!)!11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.
"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b. (*Somehow escapes death since we ARE in Tara world* You do realize you're trying to seduce an OWL!)
"Lol hi Enoby."He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature (Yes I'm sure he'd like to learn about his fellow ANIMALS!). He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok! (…This isn't five year old playtime where you say, "Let's pretend this!"))
"Bye." I sed all sexily.
"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up (Yea, there was a hot screech owl he preferred. *dies of laughter even though it wasn't really funny but there is a slight chance that the author of this has finally cracked* Ahh I kill me!)." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.
"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether (Now she thinks she's cupid!)!" I said fingering (O_O) something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz! (It's okay everyone! I not know not what she said.)).
"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys." (*Le scared*)
Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him. (Just my opinion but if it were me, I'd get a restraining order. Or an exorcist since he had been "possessed".)
"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1" (*snickers* They were never friends in the first place dipshits.)
"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian. (Hm, I think this is the longest she's stuck with a plot. A crappy plot but she seems to remember what happened in the last chapter. Sorta.)
"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great (Oh DEFINITLY. This is so flawless.). Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him (Like you'd care.)! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and (….…and what?) "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out (Ugh.)." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.(Creeper.)
"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily (Gag me with a shovel.). We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily (MY VIRGIN EYES Dx). Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.
"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock (Glockenspiel.) touched Voldemort's (Tuba.).
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame...Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111 (…Awkward.)