CHAPTER 22 – THE ROLE OF HER LIFE

She pushed herself to her feet and fought the wave of dizziness that threatened to take her back down. Trees swam in her line of vision and she turned her head a little wildly, trying to get her bearings. She was in a small clearing completely surrounded by trees and there was no obvious path leading in any particular direction. Lifting her head she tried to hear the sound of revelry that would be coming from the festival, but heard nothing. She did not think that they had walked very far, but when she flicked a glance down to her watch, she found that over an hour had passed at least, since she had left John and gone to find a bathroom.

Ah crap... she thought. What do I do? Stay here and hope someone finds me? Or take a chance and pick a direction and go for it. Damn it. Rules of survival, stay with the ship that's going down. Haha... yeah right. No ship out here. No nothing. Go or stay...think, damn it Nicole.

In a moment of clarity she chose flight, suddenly unable to simply sit here and wait for help. It was getting cooler and a breeze had picked up and she needed to keep moving for warmth. She had on her jeans and a tshirt and her arms were now studded with goosebumps and she rubbed them briskly to get some warmth back into them.

Looking up at the sky she took a stab at direction and set off, pushing her way through the undergrowth once leaving the clearing. Sink or swim, and she would do her damnedess to stay afloat.

She walked for some time and felt the scrape of bushes. Her arms were covered in blood from her flight in the darkness and she had a shallow cut along one cheek. Some sort of high saw grass that she had not seen in the darkness, until the sharp pain and the drip of blood down her cheek. She felt the small tendrils of terror as they threatening to rise up and overwhelm her and she no longer had the energy to push them away. She was likely getting further away from the Athosian settlement and she was feeling dizzier by the moment – the effects of the wine were increasing if anything else. Drymouthed and suddenly more alone than she had ever felt in her life, she dropped down onto the ground beside a tree and began to sob until that too turned to exhaustion and her eyes closed.

She felt strong arms lifting her, the sensation of a boat moving and forced her mind to clear and her eyes to open. She felt sick, thirsty and tired and when her eyes opened it was to look into the slightly concerned ones of the large Satedan, Ronon Dexx.

One hand tapped his ear piece and he murmured into it quietly. "Got her Sheppard. She's ok... I'm bringing her out now..."

"Ronon...?" Her voice sounded far away to her own ears and she saw something akin to sympathy in his eyes. He didn't speak, just turned and strode quickly away, her small weight in his arms nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

"Put me down, Ronon... not feeling so good..."

He stopped quickly, letting her down and holding her until she felt steady on her feet. Leaning over she was sick again, and he afforded her the same comfort that her kidnapper had done. Holding her long hair back and passing her water when she had finished. She took a long drink and peered up at him through her lashes, not sure whether to feel relieved or embarassed. He bent to pick her up again and she stepped away from him with her hands out.

"No... I'll walk. You carrying me like that... seasick...ughhh..."

"You ok now?" There was some sympathy in his voice and his eyes flicked to the blood on her face and arms. "Sheppard's like an angry bear at the moment, so heads up on that one."

She grimaced. "Got it..." and reached out a hand to grab hold of his belt. She'd walk out of here, but needed a little support while she did it.

A crashing through the bushes got her attention and the sinking feeling in her stomach told her who it was. John. What do I tell him? So far it's between me and that man who dragged me out here, and he was clear on one thing. Keep this to myself... damn... I can't do this alone... but put my family at risk? Put John at risk? But if I don't tell him, he'll be more at risk... without the facts, he can't do his job..."

She faltered as these thoughts rolled through her mind, then pushed them aside as a dishevelled Colonel burst out of the bushes beside them, coming to an almost skidding halt beside her, hands reaching automatically for her. She stepped back cautiously, wanting to read his face first, his expressions. She knew she'd find her answers there.

She saw worry, fear and anger and something else... those unexplained feelings that had been creeping along her spine for the past few days. Those new and inexplicable feelings that she had whenever she was around him. Saw them mirrored in his eyes and simply sighed... her decision made, she stepped into his arms and let him hold her and felt the tension and anger leave his body as her own gave him some measure of comfort.

"God, Nic... I don't know whether to put you over my knee right now or kiss you... what the hell happened to you? You just disappeared... damn it! Someone said they'd seen you leaving the bathroom and it looked like you were talking to a man... another said you were alone. No one could give me a straight answer... damn it! You just took ten years off my life. Do you have any idea how long we've been looking for you?"

She watched as he dragged a hand through his already unruly hair and her voice was small as she answered. "No..."

"You've been gone for almost six hours! Half of Atlantis has been out looking for you, not to mention the Athosians... what happened to you?"

They were almost back at the settlement and she knew that they would be surrounded by people soon. She stopped and the arm that was holding her tightened.

"What is is Nicole... tell me."

"Contact... I have my instructions... oh god..." She leaned over again, retching – but this time there was nothing left. Just a bad taste and some thing else... that same sense of hopelessness she had felt earlier. A hand at her neck massaged slightly as she stayed bent and she felt the warmth that he gave her, shivering involuntarily.

His voice was gentle now. "We'll get you back to Atlantis, you can tell your story then. Don't talk for now... you're exhausted and ill... let me look after you." And with that he swung her into his arms as much to help her as give her some measure of privacy from the barrage of questions that would suddenly be turned on her in the next few minutes. Upon entering the settlement, his eyes sought Sam's first and he gave her a private unspoken message with just a look, indicating that they would leave for Atlantis now... and that he needed to talk to her urgently. Quick on the uptake, Sam rallied the searchers around and thanked them, quickly following John, Ronon and Nicole to a jumper, feeling as though a subtle change in power was about to happen in Atlantis. Feeling her control shift just a little. Jack had been digging into the background of the man in Nicole's photos and he was getting closer to the group behind him and what he had learnt so far, had put more than just a small measure of respect into what Nicole was going to have to deal with. A shadow group more powerful than the President of the United States. A shadow group made up of nationals from all countries opposed to the stargate programme, who wanted that money spent on something else... weapons.

And now she held the key in her own little corner of the universe. A tiny photographer, who at the moment was nestled in the arms of her first in command. The woman who could bring them down if she chose to do so. And if she chose to do so, Sam would support her every inch of the way.

Yes, the shift in power had been a subtle one but Nicole now held all the cards.