The Miracle of Love
Chapter 35
"The miracle of love will take away your pain, when the miracle of love comes your way again."
To say that Thorin had a bad day would be a lie. To say that he had a bad week would also be a lie. To say that Thorin was in a really bad mood would be telling the truth.
Bilbo broke up with him.
They were angry at each other, he understood that, but he never imagined Bilbo telling him to leave. It was over between them and this time it was over for good.
He saw him leave the hospital, of course he did, he wanted to see him one last time. Bilbo didn't see him, he made sure of that, be he saw him. He saw how tired and sad Bilbo looked as his parents helped him into the car and then drove away. He saw the burden Bilbo was carrying without even knowing. The burden of every decision he made, of everything he said and did, leading to biggest of them all: giving his baby up for adoption. His parents did sign the papers but he was the one who made that decision, he was the one who told them to sign.
In Thorin's eyes, he was the hero.
He needed some time to think, to be alone, to calm down. His usually way of dealing with the pain he was feeling would be getting into a fight and then go back home. But this time there was no one who would take care of him because Bilbo wasn't there and his family was over the moon with the baby.
His parents came in the evening. Fíli and Kíli came too and they were the most excited to see the baby. Not even bothering telling anyone where they were going they just disappeared. Thorin found them first. They were standing, just as he was a few hours before with Bilbo's father, by the window looking in the hospital nursery.
It took them only a few seconds to find the newest member of their family. Kíli said that he looked like Thorin, except much less grumpy and more nice, just like Bilbo. Thorin had to admit that the baby had both his and Bilbo's features but he sincerely hoped that any similarity to him will fade will time and that what he'll get in the end was a miniature copy of his boy- well now his ex-boyfriend.
His mother joined them soon afterwards and informed them that the baby will be released from the hospital in the morning. His father didn't even come close. They all waited for their turn to hold the baby and every single one of them made a comment about the similarity with him and Bilbo. What bothered Thorin most was the fact that no one asked about Bilbo. His parents were probably informed about the delivery and that it went without complications but no one asked Thorin about him.
Like he didn't have any part in this. Like he didn't do the hardest job in bringing this baby that everyone was cooing over in this world. A visit probably wouldn't the best idea but maybe a bouquet of flowers or something, anything really that would show Bilbo that they cared that they didn't just take his baby and now completely forgot about his existence.
Sadly they did nothing for him.
After an hour his mother announced that she was tired from the trip. She wanted to go home take a bath and relax. Thorin had to bit his tongue otherwise he would have said some inappropriate things. How could his mother be thinking of sleep when she had a child in the hospital. Wasn't that was his parents wanted, another child? And now they had it and it would be stupid to expect a different upbringing than for him and his brothers. Being raised by nannies that's what was in this baby's future. Parents who didn't care parents who didn't pay attention, who didn't show interest, parents that were absent from his life.
He couldn't do that, not to his child, so he decided to stay. He stayed up whole night and watched his son sleep peacefully in the nursery. For a reason he did not understand being close to him calmed him down, he wasn't angry, he was able to forget about everything. While being close to his son he couldn't afford to be selfish or greedy, his son deserved better than that.
But the morning came too soon for his liking and after having a shouting match with his father, the nurse helped his mother with the baby and they took him away, leaving Thorin alone and completely lost in the hospital.
He didn't know what else to do or who to turn to. He couldn't talk to Dwalin right now, he wouldn't understand, he wasn't a parent. It was impossible to explain to someone that something so small and innocent captured your heart in a matter of minutes after entering the world. But he needed to go away, he needed some time to think, or to forget, whatever would work better.
He grabbed the car keys and left. He drove all day and all night, not really knowing where he was going, only stopping to refill the gas tank, wondering when his father will cancel his credit card and force him to come back. It didn't happen. He was gone for a week. The battery on his phone dead for a few days now so no one was able to call him. It was time to go back home and face reality.
It took him a few day before he finally got home. He was tired and hungry and in desperate need of a shower, but he didn't want to go home, at least not yet. He wasn't in the mood to have a shouting match with his father. He needed a few more minutes, just a few more.
So he took a turn and drove for a few minutes into the forest before stopping. It was a few minute walk from the car to the small lake. He knew this place well because when he needed to escape this was the perfect place. Sitting on a bench, watching the water, peace and quiet, it was everything he needed. Except this time he wasn't there alone.
"Thorin Durin," came a deep voice and Thorin closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He had no idea what the old man was doing here. "May I join you?"
Before Thorin could tell him 'no' and 'go away' the old man sat down next to him.
"Peace and quiet, isn't it beautiful?"
"Not anymore," commented Thorin dryly.
"You do lack manners. It's a wonder Bilbo was-"
"Don't you dare," growled Thorin warningly, rudely interrupting the old man sitting next to him. But the old man didn't even flinch. What the principal was doing here Thorin did not know.
"You've been gone for quite some time," commented Gandalf.
"I needed some time to think."
"I see…"
Thorin turned his attention back to the lake, trying to ignore the old man but without success. Gandalf pulled his pipe out of his pocket and soon blew the perfectly shaped smoke ring making Thorin even angrier.
"Must you do this here?"
Gandalf looked at him with surprise. "This?" he gestured to his pipe. "It's completely harmless."
Thorin wanted to snap something back at him but most of all he wanted the old man to leave as soon as possible. "This is private property."
"Indeed," agreed Gandalf, "Yet, you always come here when you need some time to think." Before Thorin could open his Gandalf continued. "I live just around that corner and this is my property."
Thorin at least knew he crossed the line this time and decide to stay quiet. He looked back to the water hoping that his ignorance will make Gandalf leave, but the old man apparently had different plans.
"I got a phone call today," he told him. "Bilbo's parent's called-"
"Not interested," interrupted Thorin rudely, but Gandalf ignored him.
"He is leaving." Thorin tried not to show it how much this affected him. Bilbo was leaving. The question wasn't why, he knew that, but where. He wanted to know where he was going, he desperately needed to know. "It's sad, isn't it? The only person who was able to control you."
"He didn't control me," growled Thorin.
Gandalf raised an eyebrow. "Did he not? I think Bilbo has more power over you than you are willing to admit. And now you are letting him go."
"I'm not letting him go! He left me, he told me to leave! He wants to keep the baby and that, and that is something I cannot give him." Gandalf didn't move, instead he let out another smoke ring. "What?" roared Thorin, "You don't think I tried? I spoke with my father, begged my mother to help me, but there's nothing that could be done. Bilbo's parents already signed the damn papers. You have no idea how much I wish they would have waited until Bilbo gave birth, or at least tell me. What's done is done."
"Indeed," said Gandalf calmly. "It's sad that that child has only one parent."
"What are you talking about? Of course it has two parents, how do you think babies are made, old man?" growled Thorin angrily.
"So only one parent decided to give the child up for adoption," said Gandalf absentmindedly, doing his best to ignore Thorin's tone.
"No- Yes- I mean no…"
"You seem confused."
"Bilbo's parent's signed the adoption papers because he's underage."
"Yes, that makes one," Gandalf pointed out once again. He smiled when he saw Thorin trying to process the information. "I'm assuming you didn't sign anything," he said with a smile playing on his lips.
"N-No I didn't," stammered Thorin barely able to put a sentence together. "If you'll excuse me, I need to be see someone."
"Say hi to Bilbo for me," called Gandalf after him.
:::
He was angry. Very angry. So angry he was prepared to kill his father. This was his plan all along. He played that card of his ignorance, of not knowing. He distracted him with other unimportant things so that he wouldn't notice. Bilbo would be long gone before he would realize what has happened. Years would pass and he wouldn't have known what has happened if Gandalf wouldn't point out this to him. What an idiot he was, not figuring out this before, he thought as he drove back to the house. He couldn't get there fast enough.
He ignored his mother's calls as he marched through the house, straight into his father's office. He grabbed the first pile of papers that he found and quickly went thought them. He found nothing. He pulled out the first drawer on his father's desk, then the second one and finally the third. It all happened so quickly and he was so angry that he pushed everything off the table in frustrations. Where were they?
"Thorin, sweetheart, what are you doing?" asked softly his mother, worried that his son will harm her in his anger.
"What do you think I'm doing?" growled Thorin. "Where are those papers?!"
"What papers?" She couldn't watch him destroy his father's office. Thorin managed to turn it upside down in a matter of minutes. "What are you looking for?"
"The adoption papers, where are they?"
"In the safe," quickly informed him his mother, making him stop for a second.
It took only a moment for Thorin to open the safe. After pressing the four numbers, the door opened with a click only to reveal another pile of papers. Luckily the folder he was looking for was on top.
"What do you think you are doing?" Thráin's voice boomed in the small office.
"This!" Thorin pulled out a paper out of the folder and almost showed it into his father's face. "This is what I am doing."
"Who gave you the right to-"
"Who gave you the right!" shouted Thorin before his father could finish. His mother just stood there and did nothing. "You took a child from a innocent person with your threats. Made up a story about being in danger, presenting yourself as a savior when the only danger here is you. You are delusional!"
"How dare you-"
"How dare you!" interrupted Thorin once again. "How dare you sign these papers in my name? What gave you the right?!"
"You're a boy! You know nothing of this world!"
"I'm an adult and you forged my signature to take my son away from me. You kidnapped my child!"
"Both of you, calm down!" demanded his mother.
"And you," accused Thorin, "You knew all along and you didn't say anything! What's wrong with you?!"
"Don't talk to your mother like that!"
"I should call the police, put you in jail for what you did," Thorin told his father. "You have no idea how happy that would make me. Normal parents don't do thing like this to their children!"
"Thorin wait!" called Valla. "Please don't do this. Let's talk about it."
"Now you want to talk about it," laughed Thorin. "I'm not talking about anything with you two, but know this, I'm getting these papers annulled with the excuse that this was a misunderstanding. But if any of you comes close to my child or Bilbo I won't think twice before telling everyone what happened."
He didn't give his parents a chance to reply, he just stormed out of the room.
A shower, he needed a shower and then he'll deal with everything else.
:::
The room was quiet when he entered it. Truth be told he was expecting a nanny or something sitting in the chair watching the baby, but he was alone. His son was sleeping peacefully and Thorin's heart melted at the sight. Their child was beautiful. Perfect in any way. He didn't even ask about his name, but he figured there was no point in doing so, maybe Bilbo will have some ideas.
"Thorin," said Fíli quietly. Thorin noticed that both of his brothers were there watching him with his son. He didn't doubt for a second about their love for this baby. "Everything is already packed," informed him Fíli and before he could ask anything, Kíli spoke.
"We packed his stuff and took them to your car. You are planning to take him to Bilbo, aren't you?"
"How did you know?"
"We heard what happened in dad's office so we figured you may want to take him and decided to help you."
"After all, you wouldn't know what to pack," teased Kíli and Thorin smiled at his brother.
"Yeah," sighed Thorin and turned his attention back to the baby, "I'm going to take him to Bilbo." He gently lifted up the sleeping infant from the crib and cradled him close to his chest. The boy let out a protesting whine before settling back to sleep.
"Wow," said Fíli quietly. "You have no idea how weird this looks like but at the same time it looks so right. Can I take a picture?"
The dirty look that Thorin sent him was enough for Fíli to know he was not in the mood to play games. "Can you take his toy, please."
Fíli took the toy and then followed his brother to the car.
Fíli and Kíli really packed everything the baby would need. They packed diapers, clothes, bottles, toys…everything. They even installed a car seat in his car. How they managed to do it so fast he didn't know and when he asked about it Fíli just shrugged and told him that they've been going to classes with Bilbo. Thorin put the sleeping baby into the car seat and allowed Kíli to strap him in since he had absolutely no idea how to do it. With a few instructions on how to take the seat out he was ready to go.
He never drove so slow or so carefully before. But he also never had something so precious in the car. He kept checking in the back mirror if the baby was okay, but the boy slept through the ride without making a sound. Why would he? He was full, clean, comfortable and warm and he obviously enjoyed sleeping in the car. A part of Thorin couldn't help but worry. Is he going to be too late, how will Bilbo react, what will happen when he'll get there, how will he explain everything… Too many questions at the same time and Thorin was starting to feel a beginning of a headache.
The traffic wasn't bad and he arrived quickly. He was worried, but he also knew it was the right thing to do.
Getting the seat out of the car wasn't as easy as Kíli described it. He would need to work on that and on everything else because he had no idea how to take care of a baby. A few days ago he didn't even know how to hold one for crying out loud.
After knocking he could hear Bilbo's mother coming to open the door. It was clear that they were expecting someone, just not him.
"You're early. We weren't expecting you so… soon," she finished when she opened the door and found Thorin standing there. He was the last person he expected to see. "Thorin…" Her eyes travelled lower only to find out that Thorin wasn't alone. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand not wanting to make a sound as she took a few steps back, which Thorin took as an invitation and entered.
"Is that…" She couldn't finish her question as a few tears escaped her.
"Yeah. Where's Bilbo?"
"What's going on?" asked Bungo as he came from the kitchen with Frodo following close behind.
"He's upstairs," told him Belladonna.
"Can you watch him for a minute?" he asked as he handed over the sleeping baby. Belladonna nodded as she accepted the car seat before Thorin ran upstairs.
He could hear Bilbo talking to himself as he approached his room. He assumed that he was packing and he was right. Bilbo was trying to fill his suitcase with clothes that were in neat piles on his bed. Thorin didn't dare to speak, it has been two weeks since he last saw or spoke to Bilbo and they didn't exactly part on nice terms, so he decided to knock even though the door was open.
"Is the taxi here yet?" Bilbo asked without turning around. "I told you not to call him so soon. I haven't finished packing, and I can't find-" he stopped the moment he turned around and saw Thorin standing there where he expected was his mother.
"Hi," said Thorin, not really knowing what else to say. Bilbo's eyes were red and Thorin knew he was crying. He looked exhausted and not in the mood to argue, not that he came here to argue with him.
"You'll have to be quick," told him Bilbo before turning back to his suitcase, "with whatever you have came here to tell me. I still have a lot to pack and not a lot of time." It was a lie, they both knew it, but Thorin decided to go with it.
"Where are you going?"
"To my relatives – you know I really don't understand what you are doing here, I thought we said everything there was to say two weeks ago and I doubt that you came here just to say goodbye…" Bilbo trailed off when he saw the plush bunny that Thorin was now offering to him. The same plush bunny he insisted that should be given to his baby. It was really stupid to think that Thorin would keep his promise.
"Brought you this," he said and gave the toy to Bilbo. "I thought you might want it back."
Bilbo had no other choice but to accept the offered toy. He was a fool to expect anything else. He hoped that his baby, his little boy would at least have something from him but now he had nothing. He couldn't keep his tears from falling. "You promised, you promised me!" he yelled as he hit Thorin's chest. Thorin said nothing except pull him closer until Bilbo could hit him anymore and all he was able to do was cry in his chest. "You promised!"
"I know, I know," said Thorin as he pulled him back a little so that he was able to look Bilbo in the eyes. He wiped the tears away with his thumb. "I know I promised, I just thought you might want to give it to him."
Bilbo's eyes widened in surprise as he took a step back. "W-what?"
As on cue a loud cry was heard from downstairs and Bilbo didn't need to ask to whom it belonged. Without saying anything he pushed past Thorin and hurried downstairs, he needed to see with his own eyes if what he heard was real.
And it was.
He stopped in the living room where his family was gathered around the car seat. He stopped far enough for not being able to see him. Did he really want to? If Thorin brought him just to say goodbye seeing him would break his heart once again. He couldn't do it. He just accepted that he was gone and now this… He couldn't decide what to do and his baby crying didn't help much, until he felt Thorin's hand on his back. It wasn't much, but it was enough for him to start moving toward the crying baby.
Thorin gently took the toy from his hand and pushed him closer, not that Bilbo needed any pushing. "I thought you would like to meet your son," said Thorin quietly, but loud enough so that Bilbo was able to hear him.
Tears were once again falling down his cheeks when he finally decided to look.
And there he was. His baby. He was perfect in every way, not that Bilbo ever doubted he wouldn't be. And he was beautiful and perfect, and clearly uncomfortable in that car seat. His hands automatically reached toward the crying infant and without any fuss he had him in his arms a few seconds later.
Thorin wanted to curse loudly over the fact that everyone, except him, had no trouble dealing with the car seat. Bilbo looked like he has been doing it his whole life when he lifted the crying baby into his arms and cradled him to his chest.
"Hello sweetheart," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to his head. "You are perfect, you know that? And I love you, I love you so much," he said as he pressed another kiss to his son's head. The baby immediately calmed down in his arms as he gently rubbed his back trying to calm his down. He had no idea what he was doing, but it was working.
"He's beautiful!" exclaimed Frodo and Bilbo couldn't help but smile.
He wiped the tears away before pressing a kiss to his baby's head. "He is," agreed Bilbo as he smiled for the first time in two weeks. He never wanted to let him go. This was his baby and it felt so right to hold him in his arms. "Thank you for bringing him," he said to Thorin. "I know it wasn't easy, so thank you."
Thorin nodded, but didn't say anything.
"That must be your ride," said Belladonna when the doorbell rang.
"Can you ask for five more minutes," Bilbo asked and Belladonna sent him a look. She had a feeling this won't end well. "Just five. I promise I'll go, I just need a few more minutes with him."
He couldn't believe it. He was holding his baby in his arms. He couldn't describe what he was feeling as he slowly walked up and down the living room whispering to his baby, ignoring the rest of the world. If five minutes is all he was going to get he will make the most of it.
Thorin didn't even notice that Bungo was gone until he came down with Bilbo's suitcase. He was so mesmerized with the sight of Bilbo and their child he didn't even notice how quickly time went by.
"You are still leaving?" asked Thorin with disbelief, but Bilbo ignored him.
"Thank you," he said once again, ready to put the baby back down, but didn't even move. He knew he would have to let go, but not so soon, maybe a few more minutes wouldn't hurt.
"So this was all for nothing? You are just going to leave me here?!" Thorin raised his voice so that Bilbo would look at him.
"This isn't exactly easy for me, Thorin!" Bilbo raised his voice, showing determination for the first time in weeks. This was the Bilbo everyone knew. "Even if I would be able to see him from time to time that wouldn't make me feel any better. You have no idea how much it hurt letting him go the first time."
"What if you didn't have to," said Thorin quickly. "What if you could keep him?"
"What are you talking about, Thorin? You, of all people know that my parents signed the adoption papers."
"You did, but I didn't," informed him Thorin and he could see how confused Bilbo was. "Your parents signed the papers because you are underage, I didn't sign anything. I'm an adult and registered as the other parent of this baby. With other words-"
"This baby legally belongs to you," finished Belladonna.
"Yeah," confirmed Thorin. "As an adult I have as much right to this baby as you do, but since you decided to give it up for adoption I'm the one who gets all the rights."
"You are going to keep it?" asked Bilbo with a trembling voice, tears threatening to fall once again.
"We are going to keep it," corrected Thorin and Bilbo couldn't help but smile. "I have no idea how to take care of a baby so you'll have to be patient with me."
Bilbo couldn't tore his eyes away from Thorin. His boy-, his ex-boyfriend just brought him the best news ever. When Bilbo finally nodded in agreement Thorin closed the distance between them and hugged him close, minding the baby between them.
"So the baby stays?" asked Frodo all excited.
"The baby stays," agreed Bilbo and offered Thorin another smile.
Bungo took the suitcase back to Bilbo's room while Belladonna told the driver they wouldn't be needing his services anymore.
"Is this for real?" asked Bilbo when he was finally alone with Thorin in the middle of the living room.
"It's for real," assured him Thorin. "We can keep him. Our little miracle," cooed Thorin to the baby and Bilbo couldn't help but laugh.
"Little miracle, you remembered."
"Of course I did. It was the best thing anyone has ever give to me."
"Was?" questioned Bilbo, little annoyed that someone might have given something better to Thorin.
Thorin just smirked, knowing that he pressed just the right buttons on Bilbo to make him jealous. "Would you like to come to daddy?" asked Thorin and tried to take the baby from Bilbo's arms, but the younger teen just turned away.
"No," he said sternly.
"What do you mean 'no'? I have every right-"
"You're not his daddy, I am. Find something else."
"It doesn't matter how he calls us. Besides, it's normal that I'm his daddy, you could be something else."
"No," insisted Bilbo. "You find something else."
"No, you do it."
"I gave birth to him."
"That doesn't give you the right to be called daddy."
"Yes it does!"
"No it doesn't!"
"Thorin!"
"You two are fighting again?" muttered Frodo as he came back to living room from the kitchen and found his brother and Thorin fighting. He let out a sigh as he sat down on the couch and watched them argue. This is going to be a long day. Wait until they start fighting over the baby's name, whispered a voice inside his head. Frodo just slumped back into the couch. Very long day indeed.
-The End-
Author's notes:
All mistakes are mine.
The end?
Like I said before a sequel is a possibility if you are interested in reading it.
Thank you all for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, subscribing, being patient with me. You were amazing!
A special thanks goes to Chamelaucium, Armitages and IheartOakenshield193712. You were always there for me when I need help or advice for which I'll be forever grateful.
If you want to read more of my excuses you can always find me on Tumblr.
Thank you for sticking with me until the end. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope to talk with all of you soon, hopefully with a new story.