CHAPTER 24 – A TIME TO REFLECT

Heat enveloped her, an almost invasive heat that suddenly moved and she rolled over – startled wide brown eyes looking into amused and sleepy hazel ones. Attached to a body that was wrapped around her, the source of all that heat. She struggled a little, lifting the blankets quickly to look down, and breathed a sigh of relief to find that they were both fully clothed.

She heard him chuckle in amusement. "Don't worry Nic – your virtue is still intact... just. I just needed to feel you close while I slept... after the last couple of days, I kinda get the impression that if I don't take a hands on approach with you, you'll up and disappear on me. Again."

Her blush slowly resided and she lifted her eyes so that she was looking into his. Eyes that were suddenly too close for comfort. And saw too damn much. He saw her wince slightly and rolled himself out of bed, going into the bathroom to grab a glass of water and a couple of the pills that Carson had left with him. Reaching down he waited until she had sat up slightly in the bed, her tousled hair and still sleep clouded eyes doing more than just his head in. Causing a reaction lower down that he painfully pushed away. For now.

"Here...' he said somewhat gruffly. "Lots of liquid and a couple of these pills. That headache will spiral out of control unless you do something about it now..."

"How did you know?" She took the water gratefully and her eyes warmed as they looked up at him. She saw the discomfort on his face and trying not to look in the direction of his discomfort, she fought a grin. Men would be men, and this one was no exception. His hormones pretty much ruled his emotions and while a small part of her... no, make that a rapidly increasing part of her... wanted to do something about it, she knew that she was not quite ready to take that next step. Another man in her bed after Ben... she wanted his memory to be just that when she took that next step. No ghosts invading what she knew would be a mind blowing experience. So? Until she could lay his ghost to rest, then she would keep him at a little distance.

"Aaah Nic – we've all been down the Ruus wine route... believe me. You do develop a little immunity to it as time goes on, but that first time? Oh boy... I remember mine fondly... or should I say, not so fondly!" He dropped down onto the bed beside her and peered at her scrapes and bruising.

"There's a little less skin left to actually damage, so maybe that's a good thing... I'm not doing such a good job of protecting you, am I?"

She put the glass down and lifted a hand to his face, smiling as he rubbed gently into her touch. He had shaved the night before, but a new growth had sprung up while he had slept and it rasped gently over her hand.

"I'm still alive, aren't I? I think that qualifies as a good job... so John. What's next? Where do we go from here? I'm used to making my own decisions, walking my own path, but Sam? She made me realise that a team is a good thing, that it's not so bad sharing the burden and the responsibility."

His hazel eyes were serious as he looked at her. She had come a long way in such a few short days. Independent to the point of annoyance, she had mellowed in the aftermath, enough that she would accept his help, and that of his team. He felt some relief, thinking that he would have a battle on his hands every step of the way which would make his job, and that of his team – that much harder. This way? They could work together and he could keep her safe.

"Sam's set up a secret meeting location, and only you, myself her and my team will have access to any of the information that you share. We'll keep you safe and help you do the job that they want you to do. I don't know what went down last night, but I have a fair idea. I know that you were likely threatened, and maybe your family as well." He raised his eyebrows at the look of alarm that had immediately blossomed in her eyes.

Right on the mark, thought John. Those bastards think that their bullying tactics will work on her... they couldn't be more wrong. They don't know me or my team. This woman is mine, or will be... no one touches her without going through me. I'll bring them down, and make sure she is safe.

They ate in comfortable silence in the mess. It was well past the lunch hour and they were the only ones there which suited John just fine. He could sit and just watch her, although he tried to be discreet, just a glance here and a look there while trying to appear to be engrossed in his own food. He sensed her slight withdrawal and knew that it had to do with some of the feelings that she was trying to sort through... and a lot to do with him. So he let the silence cocoon them, content to do so and when her mood changed to one of restlessness he looked at her with raised eyebrows, waiting.

"I need to be by myself for a while..." She silenced his impending protest with a look. "I have to show them that I am attempting to do what was asked of me... and I do want to be alone, just for a while. I'm not in any danger from them..." again that look when he appeared about to interupt and he fell silent, just watching and waiting. "... as long I do what they ask, and I need to show them that I am not involving anyone else. Let me go off alone... just for a couple of hours. I'll stay nearby, go out on the piers, do some outdoor shots... please?" Her eyes when they looked at him were pleading, and he couldn't bring himself to say no. Yet found it hard to agree. Those moments apart, he would worry. Until the danger was over. He would worry.

"On the conditon that we fit you out with a radio. Contact at all times, agreed? And any sign of trouble? You hit that radio and one of us will be there in minutes. Understood?" His voice was brusque and held no room for disagreement and she nodded her head quickly. She needed his trust and he was giving it and in return she would give him hers.

She moved swiftly to her feet and paused behind his chair, uncertain. Then, as if making a decision, she reached down and rested her chin lightly on the top of his head and wrapped her arms, albeit it a little stiffly, around his neck and leaned into him. She didn't see him close his eyes and didn't hear the soft groan, but she felt the racing of his heart and reaching around with her mouth, she kissed him on the cheek then pulled away before he could change his mind. Her cameras and lose herself in the beauty and solitude behind her lens. At the moment? That was where she needed to be.

Radio fitted and cameras slung over her shoulder, she felt the lifting of the weight that sat somewhat heavily on her shoulders. The sun was shining, sun? She guessed it was a sun - more or less the same body of heat and energy around which their own planets revolved. The heat was different, not as intense and she squinted up at the sky and knew that they were a further distance from this sun than earth was from it's own. Still, it radiated warmth and that was what she needed right now, to combat the chill of the previous night that had seeped under her skin, replaced during the early hours of the morning by the heat of John's body as it enclosed her in it's warmth. That same warmth had left, fled on the wings of her own banishment and she smiled a little, remembering her first thought when she had rolled over to look into those warm hazel eyes. Lust, oh yeah. In spades. It had immediately heated her body and that same body had almost betrayed her and had her reaching for that welcoming warmth and that smooth roll into oblivion that making love with that man would bring. Soon. When Ben's ghost was no longer between them.

She lifted her face to the sun, unaware that she was being watched by the same man who had dragged her blindfolded through the dark last night. Perched at the top of one of the high towers that Atlantis boasted, he held his small binoculars against his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. She was alone, and with her cameras which indicated that she had not passed on what she had learnt to the Colonel. If she had, there was no way he would have let her out of his sight. He didn't want to see her hurt. Independent contractor, yes. But held firm in the tight bindings by fears of his own. It was a complicated chain of command and he was a small fish at the bottom of an extremely large pond and his only loyalty was to his own secrets which he no longer held guard over. He would try and make sure she followed his instructions, ensuring she didn't get harmed and his secrets remained his own.

Unaware, she lifted her camera and caught the shafts of light that rippled across the waters and turning, she centred the brilliant spires of Atlantis in the small lens that told it's own story. Click. Captured for posterity. An alien landscape captured for the world to see. Pausing a little as the brilliance of the light reflected in crystalline brilliance upon the polished surfaces of the building, she pulled the camera back from her eye and became the viewer - saw the intricacies of the structure not built by humans as she knew them. Built by a race of people who knew so much more. And so much less. Exposing this city to her world? Where would that take them as a people? It would not bring them peace, but would create a panic that would not be contained. She sighed. Truth. Sometimes a difficult thing to fathom and sometimes a difficult thing to get across. And who got to decide what was fact and what was fiction. The lens returned to her eye and she moved around, resolution now in her posture. The pictures she would take. Yes, for the world to see. But for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.

He had checked on her from time to time, not content to leave her entirely to her own devices. But he had watched from a distance, maintaining that privacy she seemed so set on keeping and seen the contentment on her face as she had succumbed to the magic behind her lens. When the sun had started to dip in the sky, he had gathered some food, a blanket and joined her out on the pier, where she now sat, resting lightly against a rail and gazing pensively out at sea. She had smiled when she saw him, sensing his presence before she heard him and laughed outright when she saw the picnic basket in his hand.

"If the girl doesn't go to food, bring food to the girl... nice philosophy, Colonel Sheppard..."

He sat down beside her. "So...?"

"So..."

"That's it? You're not gonna tell me how it went?"

"A picture says a thousand..."

"Yeah, yeah... I've heard that one. Now I want to hear you. Tell me. Did you find your picture?"

She knew what he meant. "Yeah, John. I found it. Magic, always... it's there if you look for it, and sometimes if you don't. Tell me then, how did your afternoon go? Find any new life sucking aliens for me to photograph. You know... for posterity."

He couldn't help the laughter that escaped him. Her dry humour was infectious and soon she was laughing with him. At themselves, and at the situation they were now in.

"No... nothing like that. Sam wants a meeting later... "

"Oh... secret handshake stuff. Code words in the night?"

"Yeah..."

She nodded down to the basket. "So? What's for dinner?"

"Well... I deliberately left out the wine..."

She touched her head lightly acknowledging the headache that had just returned in dull waves. "Good idea..."

"...and included a bit of ... everything, really. So, eat. Ok?"

The sun dipped experimental fingers below the horizon and once more she brought her camera up, unable to stop herself, then swung it around, capturing the face of the man beside her as he stared first at the descending ball of fire, then at her - and captured the hunger in his eyes. She lowered her lens slowly, feeling a little like a voyeur, witnessing emotions so raw that it was almost an intrusion to capture them on camera. A crumb of her bread that had been resting on her knee fell into the water below, and this was a boiling motion of moving water, a quick image of sharp teeth and the bread was gone... and the moment broken as startled laughter erupted out of her.

"Friend or foe?"

"Well... I wouldn't be dipping my toes in there... just saying..." He stood up and reached for her hand, pulling her up beside him. The sun completed it's path and exhausted from another day of spreading light amongst the dark, it simply sank gracefully below the horizon and the last ray of light before it disappeared captured the man dropping his head lightly toward the woman as a connection was made, forged in the near darkness of a foreign world.