… I can't think of a witty introduction…

*smacked for calling the introductions witty*

Ah-hem. Today's subject is all about RAGE! RRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

*explodes into a golden aura; proceeded to be killed by DBZ characters for plagiarism*

Warning!: This chapter has a lot of reference to excrement. If your stomach is weak, or you're hungry/eating/just ate, you may want to refrain from reading this chapter for a bit.

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater, Taco Bell, Pokémon and the Nuzlocke Challenge, Tylenol, Pepsi, or Rage Comics. Also, be prepared for massive liberties taken when it comes to human anatomy. The quote below belongs to Mario Puzo, a.k.a author of The Godfather.

Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.

/ / /

Shinigami-Sama hummed merrily to himself as he finished brewing a cup of his favorite tea. This was actually a rather common occurrence, as Shinigami-Sama was a primal being fond of simple pleasures. Taking a walk on a pleasant day, going on picnics, stargazing, holing himself up in the school library with a towering stack of books accompanying him, having father-son bonding time (even if Kid acted a bit peculiar…), or drinking tea always made him feel as if all was right in the world.

Today was yet another one of those days. Even though Stein had requested an audience with him about a "pressing medical phenomenon," Shinigami-Sama wasn't all that worried. "After all…" He mused to himself, suppressing the feeling that the bespectacled man was staring at him. "Life's simply too short to fret much about."

"Thanks for waiting, Stein!" Shinigami-Sama said in his usual, singsong voice, depositing the two mugs of fragrant tea on a table, before sitting down himself. "Now, whatever seems to be the matter?"

Stein's brow furrowed, gazing into the depths of the steaming amber tea placed before him. He then grabbed the mug, swirled the fragrant liquid around for a bit, before taking a small sip. His companion sat in polite silence, knowing that Stein wasn't trying to be rude; rather, he was contemplating whatever issue bothering him. "Well, we both know that the Kishin Asura was defeated exactly two weeks ago…"

Shinigami-Sama nodded his head. "Yes, yes, quite impressive, actually. Maka was able to deal the finishing blow when I couldn't… Hmm, maybe she's using steroids…"

"Like I said, Asura perished two weeks ago," Stein continued, filing 'Put Maka on Steroids' somewhere in the deep, marshy recesses of his freakish brain, "but his madness has yet to be fully purged. Reports of violent weather patterns and crime are falling, yes, but they're still much higher than normal."

Shinigami-Sama took another sip of tea. "Yes, go on…"

"Well, it appears that without Asura's presence, the madness wavelength is unraveling in an unstable manner."

"Falling apart at the seams?"

Stein pushed his glasses up on his nose, causing them to eerily reflect the ambient lighting of the room. "Yes, it's falling apart. What's interesting is that the wavelength seems to want to bind to other wavelengths to try and sustain itself…"

This made Shinigami-Sama blink in confusion. "What? Does that mean that the madness wavelength is never going to go away?"

"Not exactly…" The mad doctor said. "Without the Kishin, the madness wavelength will eventually decay. It's just latching onto other wavelengths to try to delay the unraveling."

Shinigami-Sama clapped his ridiculously oversized hands together. "Well then, what's there to worry about?"

Stein groaned. "Here's the kicker: Another wavelength was mixed in with Asura's own."

"Two wavelengths? What's the other one?"

Stein's face contorted into an expression of pure loathing. "Excalibur's."

"Oh my…"

"Oh my is right… These two volatile wavelengths mixed with each other, producing a relatively harmless, yet incredibly startling, effect amongst those who were infected. It isn't permanent, and it only crops up once, but the effect can be quite distressing."

"How so?" Shinigami-Sama asked, his tea lying forgotten on the table.

Stein stood up and twisted his screw. "As I showed you earlier, Excalibur tends to force all those who encountered him to undergo a facial distortion whenever something triggers memories of the trauma. The madness wavelength made the Holy Sword's wavelength more virulent, causing even those who have never experienced Excalibur to undergo a similar reaction whenever a trigger is, well, triggered. This new wavelength also shows that the facial spasm has been distorted, so now many different facial expressions are possible. And, on rare occasions, this new wavelength can even alter the shape of the sufferer's head."

"Hmm…" Shinigami-Sama said, reflecting on this new bit of information. "And you say that this is definitely not permanent, right?" Stein nodded. "Very well, then. You're free to go, Stein. I'll see if I can do anything to purge the troublesome wavelength…"

As the mad doctor took his leave, Shinigami-Sama continued to sit and sip his tea. After he was sure that Stein was gone, the reaper sighed aloud. "Sometimes I wonder why I even forged Excalibur in the first place*…"

/ / /

Black*Star sat upon his porcelain throne, grunting obscenely as he tried to evacuate his bowels. Now normally, Black*Star had little to no trouble keeping himself regular. However, he and his friends had gone to Taco Bell four days ago after a game of basketball. Patty had challenged the ninja to an eating contest, to which he promptly accepted. He had won by a very narrow margin of one taco, and had been suffering ever since.

"Damnit…" He cursed, his face covered in a sweaty sheen. "It feels like I'm trying to shit a brick wall…" Black*Star got up, only to be floored by another bowel spasm. His face screwed up into a look of pure agony he screamed to make his point. This scream was drowned out by a rather loud splashing noise, causing him to scream again, but in an entirely different sense.

Black*Star then sprang up, laughing raucously at his 'achievement'. "Hya, ha, ha! That'll show you! I, Black*Star, can never be overcome by mere poop!" He pulled down on the toilet's handle, celebrating a victory flush. But when he opened his eyes, the sight in front of him instantly dampened his spirits. Of course, an overflowing toilet tends to be a total buzz kill.

His jaw dropped in horror as something else dropped onto the floor with a sickening plop! For a few minutes, all Black*Star could do was gape at the disaster unfolding right in front of him. Eventually, thought, he managed to express himself. Tilting his head up toward the ceiling, Black*Star's face contorted into an expression of upmost fury as he screamed his rage for all to hear.

"-!"

/ / /

"-and so my Sceptile used Leaf Blade, letting me beat Drake's Salamence by a very narrow margin!" Patty bragged to her friends in the girl's locker room of the DWMA, extremely happy that she was able to beat the Elite Four in her first Nuzlocke. Her friends, of course, knew exactly what she was talking about; every single one of them was a die-hard Pokémon fan.

Maka blinked in amazement. "Wow, you were able to take that monster down without exploiting type weaknesses? I'm impressed! You either knew that, with Sceptile's high special attack, equipped miracle seed, and overgrow ability would kill it, or you were just really lucky."

Patty smiled broadly. "Of course I knew that Molly** would be able to take it down! She's a total beast!"

"Wow, I wish my Blaziken would've done that…" Tsubaki sighed. "I always thought that losing your starter in a Nuzlocke would be painful, but I never expected it to be so… horrible…"

Liz put a comforting arm around the brunett. "Yeah, it really sucks… But didn't you have some sort of contingency plan?"

Tsubaki nodded. "Yeah, I bred an egg from Sam so I would still have the ability to use a Blaziken… It didn't really help ease the pain, though…"

Suddenly, a wild, nameless, token O.C appeared! She bent over slightly, frowning at the gaggle of girls. "Ain't you all a bit too old for Pokémon?"

There was an ominous pause, as our favorite, non-OC heroines processed the blasphemy the token character uttered. Then, as one, the girl's faces turned into a frightening face; one with sharp-relief angles, flailing hair, and eyes blazing dramatically with an unhallowed light. "AIN'T YOU A BIT TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

And with that, the token O.C voided herself from sheer terror.

/ / /

Once again, Marie was in the school's staff bathroom, a disgruntled Azusa at her side. "Marie, I don't see why I have to come in here with you…"

Marie blinked (winked? It's so hard to tell with that eye patch) in astonishment, before snapping her head around to face Azusa. "You've got to be kidding me! Do you know what happens to girls who go to the bathroom alone?"

"No. Please, enlighten me." Azusa deadpanned, crossing her arms.

"Well, let's see now…" Marie placed her fist under her chin in an obvious thinking pose. "Ginny got abducted, Myrtle was murdered, Katie was cursed, and who could forget that Hermione was attacked by a troll!"

Azusa facepalmed. "Marie…" She started, wishing she had some Tylenol right now. "Harry Potter is fictional. None of those things will happen to you if you go alone."

"Fiction is based in reality." Marie quipped, causing her friend to get an even larger headache.

The duo lapsed into silence, with Marie washing her hands and Azusa rummaging in her purse for the Tylenol.

"Do you think I'll ever get a husband?"

"Oh, dear sweet Death…" Azusa thought, causing her to feel like her skull was going to explode. "I thought she was over this, I thought she was over this, I thought wrong! Oh, why must she ruminate about this!"

Deciding to humor her friend, Azusa said, "Eventually."

This, of course, triggered the troublesome wavelength. Azusa's face turned into a crude black-and-white circle, with a few wavy lines expressing the eyebrows, two dots for the eyes, and a poorly concealed grin. Above her, bright red letters spelled out "BAD POKER FACE," for some unfathomable reason.

Marie, upon observing this, had a rather bad reaction. Her head became grotesque, swelling up to massively disproportional dimensions compared to the rest of her body. Her face became horribly disfigured, with sharp, angular lines everywhere, except for the chin, which looked somewhat like a pair of testicles. Marie's eye(s?) had sunken in, with two long streams of tears pouring out of them. Her mouth was stretched in an impossible grin, bearing hideous teeth. In a deep, croaking, bullfrog-like voice, Marie voiced her thoughts.

"Forever Alone."

With a sharp snapping noise, the females returned to normal. Azusa blinked, taking in her friend's (and her own) features, making sure that they were back to normal. When she was satisfied that everything had returned to normal (more or less), Azusa spoke. "Well, sounds like you can still get cursed, even if you don't go alone… Tylenol, perchance?"

Marie groaned and held out her hand. "Yes, please."

/ / /

Soul grumbled, punching the vending machine in front of him. He had been doing this for well over a minute, trying to get the soda he so rightfully deserved. Well, he didn't put any money in, but he still deserved a Pepsi after that horrid mission.

"After all," he thought bitterly. "That Kishin was tough as hell… I couldn't believe it when Maka was finally able to cut through him… Wait…"

Soul's red eyes gleamed ominously, grinning his shark-tooth smile at the vending machine. "Wait a moment… Death Scythes have the ability to manipulate their forms, so…" The teen's left arm glowed a bluish-white, elongating into the familiar scythe blade. Soul screwed up his face in concentration, trying to force his scythe blade to become quarter-shaped. It took a lot of effort on the Death Scythe's part, but Soul eventually managed to form a quarter-like protrusion at the tip of his scythe.

Soul's grin stretched a bit wider, giving him a psychotic appearance. Slowly, the teen pushed his modified blade into the machine, and then looked up at the little screen that displayed how much money was put into it at a time. He let out a war-whoop, preforming a victory dance that would even make Spirit feel ashamed.

Four repetitions later, Soul had enough money to buy his well-deserved Pepsi. On a whim, seconds after he made his drink selection, the teen pressed the coin return button on the machine's side. A somewhat loud rumbling noise was heard, before the plastic Pepsi bottle shot out of the machine with a loud clatter. Soul paused, listening for the sound of quarters hitting. He frowned, before giving a slight shrug. "Ah, well… I got what I came for…"

Soul bent down to grab the Pepsi bottle, but hesitated when he saw what was in the vending space. He blinked, before donning a shit-eating grin. "Is that…?" He pulled his soda and the mystery object up to his face, which was a fifty-dollar bill.

Without warning, Soul's clothes suddenly turned into a suit. He tossed his head back, revealing that it had aged by about thirty-eight years. His hair was slicked back, and he had a pencil moustache. This sudden transformation was ignored by the teen as he uttered a victory cry.

"AAAAWWWW YYYEEEAAAHHH!"

/ / /

Aaaaaand, we'll end there.

Yes, sorry, I exceeded the "1.5 thousand word limit" last chapter, but I just got a whole head of steam worked up about this, so… Yeah, I couldn't really stop myself.

Ah, well, I think it turned out rather nicely. And if you're wondering why I included the conversation between Shinigami-Sama and Stein, well… I felt like it would be better to have the characters themselves explain this chapter's (almost nonexistent) plot then if I did it in the beginning A.N.

Next Time: LAZOR! Ragnarok has a new attack?

Stein: *drags on a cigarette * Review please. They provide me with interesting research material.

Shinigami-Sama: You do realize that you're going to die from your smokes, right? Have some tea; it's full of antioxidants!

*As far as I know, that did not happen in canon. I would also say the same for fanon, but I have no idea about what runs through our/your/their heads.

**Almost all Nuzlockers name their 'mons. This is considered to be the "third rule," coming after the "if it faints, it dies" rule and the "catch the first thing in each new area" rule.