" Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now."

-Cordelia

Chapter 25

"So...What'ya think? He on the level?"

They'd moved up into the living room, with Joyce running out to find some pigs blood it left the men and Cordelia there to debate. No one wanted to think overly much about where she would get it. Joyce had a familiar look in her eyes, the same one Buffy tended to give them when she was about to kick their collective asses. They let her go without even a token protest.

After the door closed behind the elder Summers' Xander had voiced the question, his arms crossed over his chest and his head down but tilted with dark eyes watching him carefully. Jesse had seen the look a thousand times before but the weight of it was new. Buffy had always been around to help them out when things like this happened, with her life on the line he didn't want to mess it up. Couldn't.

"I don't know." It was the only answer he could give.

"He said that they were to bring all Buffy's 'loved' ones back." Giles cut in, hands in his pockets as he paced on the other side of the glass coffee table from where Jesse was sitting. His lips were turned down in a thoughtful scowl, "If we were to trust him we may very well be walking into a trap."

"Wait." Cordelia's voice lashed out before anyone could open their mouths to say anything.

"If he were trying to trick us then WHY would he tell us that he was ordered to bring us back? That's just stupid."

"Perhaps he thought that it made his story more believable."

"No, I don't think so." Xander's voice sounded remarkably serious. Usually Xander was quick to crack a joke, or toss in a sarcastic remark. Things that were easily, and usually, ignored. The few times he'd seen his friend like this he made sure to pay attention.

"Why?" If he didn't ask Xander would never tell. Damn the man. Said man took a few steps forward, dropped his hands to his sides.

"Angel could have told him your name, they could've taken the ring from her, he could've made it all up but Cordy's right. Why tell us his orders? He has to know that he's the only lead we got, which he is. We don't have a choice. Angelus sent out others, probably to capture us, apparently on Spikes orders. Doesn't make sense." He paused for a moment, his eyes flashing back and forth as he struggled to put into words whatever it was that he was thinking, "I mean...Whether it's true or not they have to know that we're gonna go after her. If one of 'em had tried to come after us we'd have caught him, probably gotten the same information from them. The thing that gets me is he said Spike was screaming..."

Cordelia's eyes lit up, "And Buffy was crying."

"Exactly."

Giles rubbed his temples, "I don't understand."

But Jesse was beginning to. He leapt to his feet, "Dalton said he got the ring from Buffy with my name and his. From what Buffy told us Angelus wouldn't care about an underlings name so how does Buffy know it? Cause he was part of her life before. She must have known him and given him the ring hoping he'd find us and, if we found him first, as a new turn he would've tried to buy his life with it right? Either way the message gets out."

Giles nodded his head, hesitantly, but Jesse barely noticed. His eyes were locked on Xander's, "Spike was screaming and Buffy was crying."

"And why is that significant?"

Jesse and Xander spoke at the same time, both rounding on Giles in a single fluid motion, "Because the only time we've seen Buffy cry was when Spike was screaming."

Giles puzzled eyes slowly cleared. He had seen Buffy cry, a time or two, but he'd seen what the vampire had described only once; Parent-Teacher night. Buffys tears had run silent down her cheeks, and in her arms had lain her vampire screaming in agony.

"Giles find out what you can from our new friend, Cordelia go with him."

"Why me?"

"Because you always manage to see things from a different point of view."

Cordelia huffed, unsure if she'd been complimented or insulted but moved to follow Giles anyway. Xander stepped over to him, clapping a hand against his back.

"SO...what are we doing?"

"Shopping."

"Shopping? Really?"

Jesse smiled at his friend, eyes bright with nervous tension, "Well if we left it to the girls it'd take too long."

"Sure'd like to hear you tell them that."

"You think I have a death wish?"

It was pain beyond imagination, understanding beyond comprehension. A floating abyss of darkness that swallowed him whole. It's thick, oil-slick, arms dragged him down deeper; to where the screams of his victims echoed into eternity. He couldn't do this, wasn't ready for it. He hadn't wanted this...this thing that was making him realize all the things he'd done wrong. He'd never be able to explain this terrible knowledge, reaching far back to before he'd been turned. Every flaw and weakness there to see, while his memories ran red with blood and his laughter echoed with the screams.

A thousand visions passed before his eyes in a flash, cutting him with agonizing precision. He didn't want it. He. Didn't. Want. It.

"I DON'T WANT IT!" He couldn't feel, couldn't see, and couldn't hear. Had he spoken? There! A girl, blond screaming as she watched Drusilla plunge a hand into her brothers chest shivering. He knew- "Please let me go! Please." Pretty thing, young and sweet. Dru would love- her. She tugged at something inside him, remembered emotion shinning in her eyes. Oh how he loved gangs. Five for the price of one. The blood was hot and delicious in his mouth, filling him even as he tossed the last of the bodies aside. He couldn't. "No one deserves this." The words taunted him while hundreds of corpses floated by. Saved her. Saved him. She was - - -

"My poor boy." The voice was whispered darkness, heady and seductive. A voice he knew- He watched as she rode the man, harder and faster than any human could keep pace with, and she watched him. Kissed him long and deep while one of his hands kneaded a perfect pale breast and the other pressed down on the man's mouth to muffle the screams as she fucked his bones to dust. He wrenched away from the memory, from the voice, from the utter agony of his regret.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No." it was a broken chorus repeating over and over again. His hands had scrambled upwards, nails digging deep into flesh and sinewy muscles. Desperately trying to rip out this thing that possessed him. To rip out his heart and end the torture. His body refused to allow it, healing almost as fast as he was ripping. Strong, moon-pale hands grasped him, made him burn with fearsome understanding of what, exactly, he had anchored himself to for centuries. His most terrible sin, his saving grace, was he loved her still but it was overshadowed by something as bright as the sun. He ripped herself away from his arms, his body lurching forward and upward, uncaring of the damage blood was desperately trying to heal, stumbling away from her only to crash down a few steps later. His body sprawling down to the floor with silent tears streaming down his face. Darkness washed over him, the visions coming faster now, each more harsh than the last until, suddenly, something burning down his throat. Sweet and wonderful and familiar and horrible.

He tried to choke it up, tried to give back the blood because oh god he was killing someone and he couldn't. He wouldn't but a hand wrapped with alarming force around his head, pressing wrist so deep into his mouth he could do nothing more than drink. Monster. Monster. Mons-

"Shh Spike. It's ok. It's ok." The voice broke through the screams. Not lessening them in any way but overshadowing them. Reality came in fragments, warmth pressed against him, something whispered through his hair. It could have been minutes or hours or days but, eventually, he felt the wrist ease out of his mouth only to be replaced by a hard kiss. He took the kiss greedily, uncaringly, lovingly. He knew this person, had known her for as long as he could remember, even the thing inside of him knew her and his sins seemed somehow lesser in her presence.

"Buffy." The hoarse, guttural growl ended the kiss but he hadn't wanted that. Instinctively his body coiled around her, clutching at the only lifeline he had left.

"Four Candles. Check."

"I've got the bones."

"Does anyone know where Giles keeps his rune stones?"

"What the Hell is an orb of Thesbiath?"

"Thesulah." Willow corrected Oz softly, a small smile playing on her lips while Amy and Jenny riffled through Giles house in search of the ingredients they'd learned they needed to complete the spell.

"It's a white ball a bit bigger than a jumbo jawbreaker." Amy answered quickly as she rounded the corner from the kitchen, scowling blackly.

"Huh. Where do we find one?"

"Bless that man, I found the runes!" Jenny called from somewhere in the depths of the house. Two minutes later they'd managed to grab everything they needed, minus one necessary orb. They'd searched every nook and cranny but there was no orb. Worse they didn't have time. Which, of course, was when Jesse and Xander strode in, carrying three packs each that landed on the ground with an audible thud.

"We found her!" Xander called out, happiness masking worry.

"Good, we found the spell." Oz offered agreeably enough, a wide smile spread across his face.

"But we're missing an ingredient." Amy whispered angrily.

"What is it?"

"Orb of Thesulap." Oz supplied quickly, and corrected himself just as quickly "Thesulah. Looks like a white jumbo jaw-breaker." Jesse frowned, brows creasing, "Doesn't Giles have something like that in his office in the library?"

"Yeah." Xander nodded, remembering a time when he had juggled the thing from hand to hand before Giles had snatched it mid-throw muttering about how those where hard to come by, "It's on the desk, on top of a stack of papers."

"That's great!"

"Ok. Oz, Jenny and Willow get to the library and start on that spell. Amy you're the best with battle magic right?"

"It's not called battle magic babe but yeah. I can probably do some protection spells, couple of boosting hexes. Won't be as good or as strong as Willows but it'll last longer." This was a bone of contention between the two young witches. Willow was, by far, much more powerful than Amy but she didn't have near the stamina.

"Giles is coming with us to spring Buffy, Cordy's staying with Joyce to help guard the vamp. Everybody got their crosses?" Each of the members raised up the silver crosses they had each been given shortly after joining. They were useful and had manage to save each of them at least once. He nodded in satisfaction.

Xander sighed and walked over to the 6 packs lying on the ground, crowded between the coffee table and couch. Quickly, efficiently, he pulled out an assortment of weapons; stakes, two silver daggers, a wicked edged sword, a crossbow, several bolts and a jar of pinkish gel with the words Sterno blue on the label.

Oz, Jenny and Willow reached for the weapons.

"What's the plan?" Jenny asked as she loaded the crossbow.

"The vamp drew a map. We're going down there, now, while the sun's up and getting Buffy out of there, evil dead included."

"Angelus?"

"No, Spike. Vamp says he's being tortured, gave us this." Jesse held up the ring Buffy had snagged from Spike so long ago. Willow studied it closely for a moment, tears swimming in her eyes.

"What if we haven't gotten Angels soul back?"

"Look, Will, if we have to choose between Buffy, and her vamp, or Angel well...I don't hate the guy, don't like him either, but I'll choose the Buffster every time. So work fast, we'll try not to kill him."

"Giles is the map, Amy start enchanting or doing whatever it is you do."

"This is not Dungeons and Dragons guys, jeez."

Jesse ignored her, "Me and Xander are going in shooting but I doubt we'll be strong enough especially if Buffy's been hurt. We're lucky they haven't killed her yet, or turned her."

"No, the book Giles gave me said that Angelus liked to torture his victims, break them, and then kill them."

"So... you're walking into a trap?"

"Ding, ding, ding. Jesse, tell Oz what he's won."

Jesse shot Xander and exasperated glance, "That's why we need you guys to get on that spell fast." Nodding he moved towards the bags, handing one to Amy and grasping the other two firmly in hand. As he passed Xander he mumbled, voice shaking in fear, "Maybe we should let Giles drive."

It wasn't right. Wasn't fair. Her Spike was broken into thousands of pieces just when she'd become whole. Something had flashed across the stars, tweaking them to some other future she could not see. A window closed to her, so she'd come down to find out why. To see what had changed her plans, see what might allow her to kill Angelus once and for all. She gave no thought to her nakedness, nor the bastard's seed that dribbled down her thigh. Once it would have horrified her but her new existence, finally within her control, made her want to revel in it. She'd rode him for hours, taking pleasure in the powerfully controlled thrusts encouraging him to take her again and again in every way he wanted no matter what she was willing to allow. It was bittersweet, she would miss her beloved Sire. Her family had not been his to kill, they had been hers and he had taken that from her. So he had to die but not her William, not her Spike.

So when he wrenched away from her as if she was a walking, talking, and crucifix and ran for the Slayer something new came to her. Jealous rage. There he was, wrapped around the little bitch, crying and choking on the blood she was giving him. Kissing her. Holding her. The sound that escaped her would never have been considered human. In that instant she wanted the girl dead, this thing that would take her precious precious boy and leave him to turn to ash in the sun. In that moment not even Angelus mattered because, from the moment she had seen him, William was hers, Drusilla's, and she was no longer willing to leave him. Not when the consequence meant that he would turn from her forever. She wouldn't allow it.

It took two seconds, flat, to reach them, to pull them apart and send her precious boy sprawling onto his back, he was so weak. The Slayer she raised above her, eyes catching then holding. Sugary sweetness laced a voice cold as ice, "Stop breathing." The command was soft, Drusilla's smile large and bright. For a moment Buffy remained absolutely still, then her body sprang to action. Her hands reaching up to pull at Drusillas unmoving hold on her throat. Her fingers flexed behind Drusillas hand, her body thrashing as she struggled to take a breath and found her body unwilling to obey her. Drusilla watched the Slayers struggle weaken,

"Breathe."

Buffy pulled in a large breath of air, her body sagging in instinctive relief then jumping right back to struggle out of the vampires grip. Drusilla continued smiling gaily.

"Stop breathing."

Thanks everyone for your reviews ^_^ I'm going to go see my family WOOT! Don't worry, without work I'll actually be able to spend time working on this fic, instead of getting a sentence or two in a day before I cave into unconsciousness. Anyone else miss the days when you didn't have to go to work?