Living with Shizuo is a whole new kind of game. You fall into a new routine forged around his routine. He effortlessly makes you feel like a fucking puppy. It's subconscious, really, the way you follow him around, like he's some kind of enigma. You try your best to make sure that when he's awake, you're awake. When he's home, you're within 5 feet. You really are like a puppy, only less eager. You may be nosing around him a bit, but you do not act like a fool. You don't. Seriously. So not your style.

The shower situation is eventually resolved, as Shizuo approaches you the day after you start staying with the Heiwajimas. You're kind of hovering outside the bathroom, looking at the shower every so often like it's some tantilising treat just out of your reach. "It's okay if you use the shower," Shizuo says as he passes you. You can hear the smile in his voice. He's making fun of you.

"Yeah, well I've only got these dirty clothes to change back into," you grumble. You're frowning now because you want - you need that shower.

"Not a problem. Just go, shower," Shizuo urges, and you're so ready to be fucking clean that you don't even worry about what he's planning to do, you just go for it.

The wait was more than worth it. You've never been so happy to take a fucking shower in your life. You strip down and step in, the warm water running down your skin and through your hair, your fucking hair, god. You just stand there, wet, enjoying the spray for a solid five minutes before you actually look around for something to use to wash with. You find bar soap, shampoo and conditioner on a ledge inside the shower, and go straight to work. You do your hair first, and then your body. The awkwardness of being naked and wet in someone else's house is completely overridden by how much you need this. Oh god, you need this.

When you're done washing, you're so relaxed that you're tempted to stay inside and rub one out. You start to, but as soon as your shower hits 20 minutes the hot water immediately shuts off, raining cold on your body and effectively killing your semi. You hold back a yelp and shut off the water, stepping out onto the mat outside the tub. Folded on the toilet seat are a towel and a set of clothes, and you're a little embarrassed because you didn't notice the door opening and closing for someone to have put these here, but whoever did must have seen your silhouette. You shake it off, drying yourself with the coarse towel and dressing yourself in the clothes provided.

It's a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt, and they're slightly larger than the type of thing you'd usually wear, but you like body hugging shit and you're not swimming in this stuff, you're just a little short for it, so it's fine. It smells like detergent, bounce sheets and Shizuo's room, and you like that. You're a little concerned about what's going to happen when you wear these out too, but decide to worry about it later as you pick up your dirty clothes from the floor and carry them out with you.

Shizuo's stretched out in his bed when you step inside his room, your clothes in your arms. "Where do you want me to put these?" You ask, and he just points to a basket just inside the closet. It's got some other clothes in it which you take to be his, so you dump yours on top and that's that.

"They fit alright?"

"Yeah they're fine."

He looks at you, standing there in his clothes, and for a second you imagine a glint in his eyes. Either way he looks like he approves. "You can use my stuff for now, until we can get some clothes for you," he tells you, eyes flicking back up to your face. You grunt, very much okay with smelling like Shizuo for awhile.

It lasts for about a week; Shizuo giving you some clothes of his before he leaves for his first job - which you learn is a security gig with a debt collector - until his next day off. The two of you go down to a thrift store to buy new clothes for you to wear. It's a novel experience for you, as you've never been "thrifting" before. When you get there, you just kind of look at everything, going through racks of randomly placed articles of clothing to find something that isn't hideous.

You're not sure how, but you actually manage to find some jeans that make your ass look pretty great and a couple of understated, monochrome shirts that flatter your figure. Originally you'd been concerned about thrift shopping, because you're an incredibly vain person when it came to looking good and wearing used clothing sounds disgusting, but between the rush that came from finding something good and trying it on and asking Shizuo's opinion, you actually have quite a bit of fun. By the time the two of you leave, you have two bags worth of clothing and have spent less money than you'd thought possible.

The day just gets better when he takes you out to eat afterward. It gives you back a sense of normalcy that you haven't felt in awhile. Shizuo only orders fries and a milkshake, because apparently he has a pretty severe sweet tooth and an intense love of sugar. He actually dips the fries in the milkshake which you think looks gross until he makes you try one.

"It's really not that bad," Shizuo insists, popping another one to prove his point.

"People say the same of chocolate covered ants but I won't be eating those either," you mutter back.

"Oh don't be dramatic. This is nothing like chocolate covered ants. Just eat one," he demands, waving a fry in your face.

"Put that away!"

"Eat it."

"Hell no."

"Eat it."

"No."

"Eat. It."

"I said no, Shizuo."

"Literally just try one. Just one. Please?" Puppy dog eyes on this man should be illegal.

"...Fine," you concede, allowing him to dip a fry into his milkshake and hold it out to you. You don't attempt to eat it out of his hand because that could get weird, so you just grab it and eat it. It's...actually not bad. You're not sure you'd vouch that it's the 'perfect combination of salty and sweet' but you don't exactly want to kill yourself after consuming it so that's a plus. "Not bad," you tell Shizuo, who looks expectant of your response.

"It's great."

"Sweets aren't really my thing," you admit.

"No shit? I love sweets."

"Yeah, I noticed."

He just laughs and goes back to eating his fries and finishing off his shake when there aren't any more fries to dip. You crack a smile for a split second, musing to yourself that this is probably the longest amount of time you've spent in the company of someone else, talking to them, eating with them, without the promise of sex after. You're not quite sure you're happy about that last bit, but it's good to spend some time with someone else. You're used to simply observing people and judging their behaviour, at the end of the day returning to your expensive, empty home. Now all of a sudden you're...included. You're a part of things. A part of something aside from manipulating people to sell you something or lower their prices. It's a different feeling, but it's good.

The two of you go back to Shizuo's house, and he moves some stuff around enough to give you a small space in his tiny closet. Your new clothes hang beside his on the rack. The very next day he takes you with him to the laundry mat. This also was a novel experience. You've never had to wash your clothes or even think about washing your clothes. At your father's estate there were staff that did it for you, and your apartment building's maid took care of it for you, even going so far as to hang them up once they'd been washed. It's not until you step inside the laundry mat that you realise you're going to have to wash your own shit now, and you're not even sure how.

It's not as if you're completely clueless; you know it has something to do with detergent and colours vs whites and dryer sheets, but so much can go wrong when washing clothes. How would you know warm wash from cold? What if something shrinks? How much detergent are you even supposed to put in? Luckily for you, Shizuo only brought you along for the purpose of showing you how to do it. You let it slip to him after you got your new clothes that you'd never actually washed your own clothes before. He gave you a weird look, as if he wasn't sure how anyone could not know something like that, but probably assumed your parents had just done it for you for a long time.

The laundry mat is a slightly intimidating place in and of itself; lines of washing machines and dryers throughout a moderately sized building, populated with lots of dirty looking people with large bags of even dirtier clothes. Shizuo doesn't seem to mind at all, coming equipped with the laundry the three of you had accumulated and his own bottle of detergent. He even had a box of bounce sheets. You watch him carefully as he claims two machines and separates the whites from the colours, putting them in the respective machines. He pours the detergent into its own cap, stopping at a line he points out to you and pouring it into a compartment on top of the machine. He explains to you when it's necessary to use bleach nd when you wouldn't. As he starts both loads of clothes, he leans against the machines.

"Now you gotta watch out with the laundry mat. Always be there when your clothes stop, because if you're not around and the place is packed then someone's gonna just dump your shit on the ground and put their own clothes in. Pisses me off, but it'll happen if you're not careful," Shizuo tells you, his mouth twitching in agitation.

You nod, wondering to yourself what kind of neighbourhood forces you to guard your clothes when they come out of the washer.

"Once, someone stole some of my socks after they dumped my clothes. I only had one black sock when I got home that day," He says with a dry laugh. "I'll be back, I need a smoke." He claps you on the shoulder as he walks out. As much as you would love to see what he looks like when he smokes, you take this clothes watching thing very seriously. You wouldn't want to get your clothes dumped by some brat on your first time out. Every so often, you steal glances out the window to watch Shizuo take long drags on his cigarette. You'd found out about his being a smoker by chance when you stepped out to get some air and found him smoking outside. It's not something you or Kasuka typically see as he tends to do it when he's outside between jobs or walking home.

When the clothes finally stop spinning, you open the machine and put the wet garments back into the basket they were brought in. Shizuo's still outside, but you figure you can at least snag some dryers while he's gone. You place your basket on top of one and open the doors to both it and the dryer next to it. You're not really sure what the deal is with the dryer sheets, so you just stand there, waiting for Shizuo to come back.

Unfortunately, someone else gets there before he does. He's short, with hair like an overly ripe banana and a public school uniform on. It's a little worse for wear and probably could've used a wash as well. "You usin' these?" He growls at you with way more authority than someone of his age and stature should be commanding.

"As a matter of fact, I am," you respond, not really interested in argument. As you anticipated though, he doesn't leave it alone.

"Well your clothes ain't in 'em, and some of us are actually trying to get our shit washed instead of standing around wastin' space," he spits.

You close your eyes and huff a laugh, your mouth pulling into a smirk. "Listen short stack, why don't you just run off back to mommy or go bother someone else? I'm not interested in your games."

He actually has the audacity to push you then, the back of your head bumping against the dryer. It would have hit harder had you not been expecting the physicality, but you still stumble back a step nonetheless. "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you skinny bitch, I-"

His sentence is cut off when a fist collides with his stomach and within seconds he's being shoved against an adjacent dryer. You're not really sure when exactly Shizuo came back inside, but his timing is to be commended. You hadn't seen this violent side of him before, watching on as he snarls at the kid.

"You want to start something you little fuck? Huh?" Shizuo's face is practically nose to nose with the kid, who suddenly looks more like he wants to shit himself. He shakes his head wildly.

"No I didn't - I mean I...I thought he was...I'm sorry," he frantically babbles, trying not to get his ass kicked. Shizuo stops his stream of words with the tightening of his grip and a knee just under the kid's ribs. He lets him go, the student's small form keeling forward as he starts to walk away, but he doesn't get far before Shizuo's foot makes contact with his backside, urging him painfully forward. He cries out and scampers away.

Shizuo has to take a moment to get his breathing back under control, and when he does he shakes his head and turns back to you. "There's no one especially dangerous here, but don't let any of them give you crap," he says, his voice back to the tone you're used to hearing it in. You raise an eyebrow but don't comment on his little aggressive moment. He continues on, showing you the logistics of the dryer and what to do with the bounce sheets. "Same rules apply when these finish, don't let anyone dump them."

You can't resist. "Or what? You'll fuck them up?" you tease with a smirk.

He laughs nervously. "Sorry, I just get angry when people try and make things hard. There's just no point in being a dick here."

You nod, leaning against the dryer. You see now why a debt collector would want him for a security guard. A lot of people who owe debts might act like "dicks" to the person trying to collect them, so in that scenario having someone like Shizuo to back you up would be a dream. The clothes are dry and smelling of "lavender breeze" in no time, and you take the few things that are yours out when you get back to Shizuo's.

The next week you go to the laundry mat by yourself, wanting to do something for the Heiwajimas in light of the fact that you're a total freeloader. It goes off without a hitch, no fights or clothes dumping or machines overflowing with bubbles and detergent, although there is an incident with a red sock ending up folded up in a pair of Shizuo's white boxers. They and they alone come out pink, and you're not quite sure how to tell him. You figure you can twist the situation and make it seem like you did this on purpose, like it was a prank and you were just being an asshole. At least that might look better than pure incompetence. Who can't wash clothes right?

When you get home and he innocently asks you, "how'd it go?" you don't have the heart to lie to him. You don't actually say anything, you just hold up the boxers in their new pink glory.

He tilts his head, considering them a moment, but just smiles at you. "I like 'em better this way."

You let loose a sigh of relief that he isn't upset and put the clothes away. You start doing the laundry every week after that, though there are no incidents like that one again.

You find out that apparently Kasuka is an aspiring actor. Occasionally he gets a commercial or a spot as an extra and that brings in some extra cash for awhile, although Shizuo refuses to spend it all unnecessarily, instead putting the majority in a bank account in Kasuka's name. He does usually celebrate with a special meal and he always gets excited when he sees something Kasuka's in on television. They're both waiting for Kasuka to get his big break, but it hasn't happened yet in the four years he's been at it.

Kasuka didn't go to college, and it was supposedly of his own volition but you get the feeling Shizuo feels bad about it. The blond claims Kasuka didn't want to go so he could focus on acting, but you all know the two of them wouldn't have been able to afford it regardless.

Shizuo is gone most of the time, with the exception of his day off. It's really not even a day off, he still works, but he doesn't go to his security job on Sundays and only works at the bar. You wonder when he even sleeps; you can't imagine he's doing more than 4-5 hours a night. He looks so tired sometimes, and you wish there was something you could do about it.

The three of you live on cheap take out since the fridge is practically a barren wasteland and that's where you see your opportunity. You wait until the end of the week and then convince Shizuo to buy groceries. You instruct him to get ingredients for the fridge in lieu of getting take out. He does get you what you ask for, and even helps unload it into the house. You're confident in your plan, desperate for something to do to contribute to the household.

You'd tried a few things before it came to this point, but the life Shizuo and Kasuka lead was hard for you to adjust to. Unlike you used to have, they have such limited options of what they could do outside of work. The both of them were relatively self sufficient as well so in short, there was nothing for you to do. Cleaning was never really your thing; dirty bathrooms and the thought of scrubbing them made you sick.

So you came roundabout to the one thing you knew you could do - cooking. It was one of the few things you learned how to do by yourself. When your mother was still in the picture, you used to watch her in the kitchen until one day when she started teaching you how to do what she was doing. You've always liked cooking, and you figure the Heiwajimas might appreciate not having to get take out all the time.

You set to work, pleased to find the pots and pans to be clean. Cooking puts you in a different mindset, and as you move about the kitchen it feels less like someone else's house and more like a home. You don't make anything too complicated, just a pasta for now, trying to time it so it'd be finished close to when Shizuo would be home in between jobs.

You have nowhere to set plates when you're done, so you just put them on the island and immediately get to cleaning the pots you used. By the time you finish, you hear the front door opening and Shizuo's there, and suddenly you're nervous in a way you don't often experience. Your stomach tenses as you wait for him to come over.

He makes his way past, sniffing the air as he walks until he finds the source of the smell. When he sees what you've made his face lights up. "You cooked?" You just nod and he grins. "Kasuka! Izaya made us dinner," he calls out. As soon as his brother makes his appearance, the three of you grab the bowls and move over to the couch to eat it.

Shizuo has nothing but good things to say about your food, and each time he drops you a compliment, Kasuka nods his agreement. You feel great knowing you've found a way to make yourself useful and do something you like. You take the liberty of cleaning up after, moving into the kitchen to throw things away. Shizuo follows you in.

"Thank you, Izaya. It was really great, I'm glad you did that," he says softly, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"It was no problem, I enjoy cooking."

"Where'd you learn?"

You hesitate. "...My uh, my mother taught me."

His hand on your shoulder gives a squeeze. "She did a good job." The hand falls away then as he leaves, going into his room. Now you feel really good, immensely pleased with yourself for thinking of this.

You cook regularly after that, making breakfast before Shizuo leaves, lunch for you and Kasuka and dinner just before the blond gets home. It makes you feel needed and better acclimated to your new life. Shizuo never fails to compliment you on the food and thank you before he has to go, and that in itself brings you a certain kind of satisfaction. You feel for the first time in a long while like you belong somewhere these days, and frankly you're not too disappointed in where you ended up.