Last update for the evening!

-Addie-

"How are you feeling?" a soft voice inquired.

My first instinct was to fling one of my daggers, but I fought it. My bangles weren't on my wrists anyways. I honestly believed Apollo wouldn't hurt me, at least physically. All those emotions that I drowned last night we bobbing back up to the surface.

"Like an ass," I croaked. He walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. He handed me a cup with a purple liquid inside of it.

"Dionysus said you would need that."

I nodded my head, and then tipped the contents into my mouth. It tasted like grapes, reminding me of the enormous amount I drank last night. It began its work, and the pounding in my head started to ease. Apollo handed me a bottle of water which I gratefully took. The tension between us was painful. I didn't like it, but I was also so angry at him. Our gazes met, and I was surprised at what I saw. He looked repentant, which wasn't an expression I had often seen on an immortal.

"You know your way around. I'll be waiting when you are ready to talk."

He left without another word. I walked into the bathroom, intent on getting a shower. I needed to clear my head and organize my thoughts. I was still wearing the dress my brother had given me, and I tore it from me.

The tears that had threatened started to flow as the warm water hit my back. It ran over scars I never should have gotten, a pain I never should have felt. How could they look at me every single day, knowing what they did? They weren't devoid of feeling, they did have them, although they weren't human. Did they just forget, maybe hoped that time would ease the blow? They were wrong. I would have rather heard the truth from the beginning.

I cut off the water and wrapped a towel around me. I summoned some clothes to wear and got dressed.

Apollo had tried to tell me. My heart was warring between listening to him and just leaving. I didn't understand. I knew falling for a god was not smart, that it would lead to me getting my heart broken. I needed to hear his side before I made a decision. Gaia would lie to me just as quickly as the gods had, and I wanted to make the right decision because it was the first one I had control over in a very long time. I was being pulled in two different directions, and both of them had their merits.

I walked into the main room, my feet treading softly on the marble floor. Apollo was looking at the skyline at the setting sun. Was my time already up? Had I slept through my deadline?

"I brought you back early this morning. If you told me right last night, you are in your last day now," he stated, answering my unspoken question.

"How did you find me?"

"Dionysus. When you started drinking, he could detect you."

I nodded my head and looked at the floor. I didn't even think of that. I sat on the couch, determined to avoid his gaze.

"I don't know where to start Addie."

I looked back up, and he had turned towards me.

"From the beginning. Start with why my brother and I were dangerous. I promise to listen."

He sat down in a chair across from me and ran his hand through his hair. He always did that when he was agitated.

"Your family had been connected with us a long time, back when they lived in Greece. We were warned about consorting with your bloodline. When Poseidon found out that your mother was pregnant, he tried to hide it. You were the third generation of direct children of gods, barely a mortal drop of blood in your veins. We watched you grow, and we saw what you two were capable of. I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to you two back then. I just went along with whatever Artemis and my father thought was best. Mars came to the council, stating that you two, along with five others, were attempting to overthrow the gods. Your brother and Tiberius had threatened him, and you all needed to be disposed of. Most of us were switching between our Roman and Greek forms, so answers and judgments were hard to come by. Our Roman side agreed on one thing: they would not be overthrown in favor for the Greek counterparts, and you needed to be taken care of. The fates would not allow your deaths, so the plan was created. We needed to separate the two of you and establish some control. Mars explained that you were the one that could be more easily controlled. When you fought Mars, that was the only excuse we needed. It did not matter to us why you fought him. The only thing that matter was that the threat was eliminated."

"My brother and Tiberius fought him to protect me. He had taken me against my will, and he made me drink dreamshade," I blurted out. I found out later what was in the solution I had been forced to drink. I was allergic to the stuff, a weakness I did not even know I had up until that point. "I couldn't fight, I couldn't do anything about it. I become basically a mortal when I drink it. And he had every intention on-" I couldn't finish. Sobs threatened from my chest, but I would not let them escape. I put my face in my hands. It was a feeble attempt to block out the world, but it was no use anymore.

"We didn't know that. We took him at his word. Mars was a lot more respected than Ares was. We thought he had matured some, that he wasn't so hotheaded," he divulged. Apollo took a deep breath, and I heard the note of anguish in his voice. "I cannot begin to tell you-"

"What happened next?" I retorted quickly. I wasn't ready to hear an apology, not yet.

"We cursed you, in hopes that you would be useful to us. And you were. Most of us forgot about you over time, but slowly, we started to notice you once more. Some of us began to see how kind and loyal you were, and we realized that our Roman counterparts had acted harshly. You were not a threat as your brother was. You would not have overthrown us. It wasn't in your nature. You were so invariably good, and we realized what we had done. We tried to make it easier on you. I tried to help in any way I could. There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but Father had decreed that it was not to be divulged. Mortals could not be trusted. We had control over you, and it was a safeguard for us. You seemed so rebellious at times, and your strength grew with each passing year. Others thought that as well, and as long as the council was split, there was nothing we could do."

"We didn't know about what Ares was doing to you. We didn't know that's why he suggested you to be the one who was spared. He spoke the truth about your will, and you acted just as the council expected. When faced with the choice, you choose your brother's life over your own."

I looked up to find Apollo knelt in front of me. I had never seen a good look humble, but at that moment, he did. He seemed like a regular teenage boy who had made a grave mistake.

"I regret it, Addie. I can't speak for the whole council, but some of us regret it. We are selfish, and you were right. We were wrong about you, and our actions were misguided. We tried to safeguard our thrones instead of empathizing with your plight. We never should have ignored your prayers. If we had only listened, we could have seen your sincerity. We were so caught up, we never considered that we might have been wrong. I'm so sorry."

It was silent as the words washed over me. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so bad that it hurt. I could see that he cared, but how much did he care? He took my face in his hands, and I flinched away. I hadn't flinched from him in years. I saw the hurt register on his face, but he fought it.

"Don't," I warned him. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…it hurts too much!" I sputtered. The anger, hurt, and tears came flooding together, overflowing from me. I started yelling at him. "Everything hurts! Gaia showed me what I lost! I could have had a family. I could have grown old, and then went to Elysium. I could have made the world a better place. I could have stayed with my friends. They could have lived," I laughed, but it was not over anything funny. "And that's not even what hurts the most."

"What hurts the most?"

"I trusted some of you! I stuck up for you! I counted you as my friends. But you still treat me as a slave! You still treat me as if I am that lost little girl on my knees in a battlefield, a traitor begging for the lives of her loved ones. I am not that little girl anymore! I have nothing left! The gods took everything from me, everything I loved and cared about. And I thought I was doing it to save them, only to find out that my sacrifice was in vain! All of the pain and hurt could have been avoided. I didn't have to be a traitor, I- I…I had come to peace with my fate, and I tried to help the world the only way that I knew how. I was starting to regain some happiness in my life, and just when I thought that maybe, maybe I had someone that didn't make me feel so damned alone in this world, it comes crashing down again." I got up and moved towards the window. I turned back towards him. Apollo had not moved, and his hands were gripping the couch where I had sat. "What hurts the most? That after I have proved myself over and over again, after every action, you still don't trust me, when I've never given you a reason to think otherwise."

"I- I," he paused and took a deep breath. "I trust you with my existence, Addie. I know you. You are a good person. You do the right thing, even when it's the hardest path."

"Well, maybe I am tired of doing the right thing! What if I want to watch the world burn, to give it a tiny fraction of the pain I have been in for the last two thousand years? What if I want Ares to rot in Tartarus for all eternity for what he did to me? Maybe the world doesn't deserve a choice, just like-" As quickly as my anger came, it was gone, leaving me empty and reeling. My knees hit the floor, but the pain didn't register.

I felt so lost. I needed something, anything to ground me to reality. I needed something to anchor me to who I was. I just started to cry, and I didn't care that it was in front of Apollo. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped by arms around them. Silent tears started falling down my face, and I wished for some form of peace. Everything was too much, and I couldn't deal with it. There was no saving myself this time. A smile and hard work wouldn't fix this. Life wasn't fair, karma didn't happen, and everything I had ever done was for nothing. I didn't know if I was capable of forgiveness for this. I was scared and hurt, and I was tired of being strong. I wanted to be weak. I wanted to be human.

Apollo wrapped his arms around me, and I tried to pull away but I was no match for his strength. He just held me until I stopped struggling, and the tears finally stopped. He pulled away, looking at me uncertainly. I don't think a god has ever had to deal with their crying secret-not-girlfriend whom they had severely upset by messing up her fate and then lying about it. This was just as new to him as it was to me.

"I want you to trust me," he whispered.

"Trust goes both ways, Apollo," I admitted quietly.

"You're right. You should have the right to choose, Addie. Do what you have to do to do that."

"You're not going to stop me?" I marveled. "I figured you would keep me locked up until you could control me again."

He looked at me like he was sizing me up, like he was trying to peer into the depths of my soul.

"No, I'm not. You asked for some trust, Addie. I'm giving it to you. I have faith in you."

"Because you're the god of prophecy," I proclaimed.

"No, because I know you," he whispered. He leaned forward and placed his lips gently on my forehead. "If you need me, you know what to do," he said as he gripped my hand. I closed my eyes, and the blaze of light hit my lids. When I opened my eyes, he was gone.

I had heard both sides of the story. They followed each other for the most part. I had a choice to make, a choice between the light or the dark…..

Was there someone I could get objective advice from? Someone who didn't take sides, that could tell me exactly how my fate was tampered with?

Of course there was. I needed to see the Fates.

Ahh! This chapter was so sad to write for me! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you think! Don't be shy, I swear I do not bite! I love hearing from you guys, and you give me inspiration to continue!

I listened to two songs on repeat while I wrote this: First was The Scientist by Coldplay (Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, You don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart.)

I also listened to Here without you by 3 Doors Down.

Now you see what I cried.

Review peas! :D