Disclaimer: I don't own anything or profit from it.
A/N: Sorry about the long delay in updates, but I have been working on other projects and have been busy with family. Also I would like to announce that this story will be completed by the end of the month. But I would also like to announce that once I have more free time I will be working on a sequel to this.
Previously
It was perfect.
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3…2…1…
"Get out of here. Report back 0700 Monday morning."
Not waiting to be told twice Tony was pulling his jacket on as he ran towards the elevator doors. Once he got out of the building he rushed towards his car and soon on the freeway towards the hospital.
If you would have asked him a year ago how he would be spending his Friday night you might have gotten the answer of going out with some hot blondes, getting drinks with his friends and definitely getting a lady friend for the weekend. He would have called you crazy if you would have suggested that he would be racing against rush hour traffic towards the hospital to see his brother who was spending time in the psych ward.
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"And you're sure he is coming." Dean asked as he paced nervously in the visiting area where Dr. Cranston was waiting with him until Tony arrived.
"When I talked to him he said he would be here as soon as he got done with work. Why don't you sit down and work in your sketch book until he arrives." She questioned wondering if it was best for Tony to come so early in the treatment maybe she should have waited to invite him.
"I'm fine I just want to see my brother." Dean added stopping to stare out the floor to ceiling window overlooking the park. Beg him to let me come home.
"Ok then at least sit down you're making me tired just watching you." She joked.
Stopping to turn around Dean realized everyone else was sitting and waiting patiently for their friends and family while he paced like a caged tiger. Sheepishly he sat down across from his doctor, "Sorry Doc."
" You have nothing to apologize for I would be nervous to if I was in your shoes." Rachel replied as she carefully watched the door for any signs of Tony.
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"What's the matter Sam?" Matt asked as they settled into their sleeping bags for the movie marathon they had planned.
"Nothing" Sam sighed as he shuffled into a more comfortable position. He hadn't told anyone about Dean but when asked he had said he had been in an 'accident' and wasn't home or going to school. It bothered him something fierce that Tony got to see Dean and he was pushed into the corner and forgotten about. Not that he didn't enjoy spending time with his first best friend or getting to go to the gaming convention tomorrow and Sunday, but it bothered him that he had been through everything with his brother and he couldn't even say hi to him.
"Don't lie to me I can tell something is bothering you and I want to know what it is. This is what best friends are for and I'm your best friend right?" His friend asked as the opening credits for some unknown superhero movie played across the screen.
"Of course you're my best friend," Sam quickly amended, "and I appreciate you wanting to help me, but I don't want to talk about it."
Giving Sam the evil eye Matt replied, "Alright I'll let it go this time because Iron Man is on and I like the movie, but don't think you'll be getting away so easy next time," Matt answered before holding a hand out, "Now pass the popcorn."
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Pulling into the hospital parking lot Tony noticed that it was notably empty for the beginning of the weekend, but then again it was only Friday and most people were just making their way home.
Passing through the front doors of the hospital he headed towards the elevator and was on his way upstairs to the Psych ward when he ran into a familiar face, "Cas?" He hadn't seen the teen since Dean had been admitted and was wondering how he was doing.
"Tony what are you doing here?" Cas asked turning around from his path towards the exit.
"I could ask the same."
Blushing Cas replied, "I'm a volunteer here and I forgot my book bag yesterday when I was signing papers."
"I'm on my way to visit Dean right now," Tony smiled before catching a glimpse at his watch and grimaced, "which I'm late for. Sorry I've got to go, but I'll let you know when you can visit." He hurried before stepping into the elevator leaving a confused Castiel Novak behind.
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It was nearly Six O'clock and Dean was getting worried, "What if he decided not to come? Then what happens do I have to stay here forever?"
"No you won't have to stay here forever," Rachel assured planting a firm hand on the smaller hand, "if Tony for some unforeseen reason decided not to show up then we would reschedule and have him come in later and we would talk some more. But I'm sure Tony didn't forget and is just running late."
She didn't get an answer but a small nod before Dean went back to watching the streets below.
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Running into the day room Tony looked over the crowd of patients and their family members before landing on Rachel. Weaving between tables he made his way towards the Doctor before questioning her, "Sorry I'm late so where's Dean?"
"Dean," she started before getting up and walking over to the window where he saw someone standing "is right here."
He watched as Dean was turned around and placed in his chair. Even though they had only been separated for a week it had made a huge difference in his brother's appearance. His skin had a healthier glow to it. It was no longer had a sickly pale or even grey hue to it and he had gained weight, maybe not enough to where he was before but the angles weren't so sharp anymore in his face and the dark bags under his eyes weren't as dark today, "Hello Dean."
"Hey Tony." Was the short answer he got in reply, but it felt so damn good to hear his brother talking again and he couldn't stop the smile that crossed his face. It sounded different, more gravelly maybe, but it was still Dean's voice and he didn't think he could ever get himself to tell the kid to shut up again.
"How are you feeling kiddo?" He asked as he sat down besides Dr. Cranston at the small table by the window.
"Fine. How is Sammy, is he alright, why isn't he here?"
Tony laughed. Predictable Dean, the first questions out of his mouth were wondering how little Sammy was doing, "He's fine, his friend invented him over for the weekend and I assured him that you would want him to have fun with his friend." He watched as a flicker of pain crossed Dean's face before he schooled it again to a neutral expression.
"Right of course. So how has work been?"
Sending a glance over to Rachel he reached across the table to pull Dean's hand into his own, "Its fine Dean everyone is worried about you, but I came here to talk about you. Now how about we start this little shindig over again? So Dean how are you doing?"
"I'm sorry." Dean blurted out before pulling his hands away and twiddling them in his lap.
"I don't understand," he asked shaking his head, "what are you sorry about? Your 'incident', because if that's it, then I would like to apologize myself for not being there for you when I should have been."
"My 'incident'," Dean yelled air quoting around 'incident', "is that what you are calling it? I tried to fucking kill myself, it's more than a fucking 'incident'. I bet you didn't even care that I was locked up here did you?" He screamed and Tony was frozen in his spot. He watched as nurses and orderlies came closer to the table before Dr. Cranston waved a hand for them to stop as she spoke up.
"Dean why don't you calm down for a minute and let Tony explain?"
"No, I don't think I want to hear what he has to say," Dean yelled frantically shaking his head as he clenched and unclenched his fists before he started pacing, "no, he probably just wishes I had succeeded."
Seeing how agitated Dean was becoming Dr. Cranston spoke up, "Benny take Dean to his room. I'll be in later to check on him."
"He just wants to tell me how much of a fuck up I am!" The teen screamed as he was dragged from the room with Benny and another large orderly dragged him from the room. Tony could only stare and wonder if maybe this hadn't been the worse decision of his life.
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She waited until the room had calmed before she turned to Tony who was sitting stock still in his chair at the small table they had claimed, "It's not your fault Tony. I shouldn't have pushed you to visit this soon after the beginning of treatment, but it isn't abnormal for the medication to start wearing off in the evening hours which is something you will need to be prepared for once he is released."
"What if I can't do this?" He asked with empty emotions only slowly dragging his unblinking eyes towards her from the window where he had been watching.
"Don't you dare back out now Anthony Winchester," she reprimanded firmly, "That boy in there is scared senseless and would do anything to get back home. I know because he told me. In all of our sessions once he started talking I could barely get him to talk about himself because he spent the whole time talking about Sam or you or your parents."
"What?" Tony asked with the blink of an eye.
"That kid in there," she pointed down the hallway where Dean had left, "he looks up to you, practically worships the ground you walk on. If you think this has been scary for you then imagine it being ten times worse and then your half way to imagining what Dean is going through." She paused and lowered her hand to brush her bangs back before continuing, "this isn't an easy disorder to live with Tony, its scary and it's frustrating, he can't always control how he feels and that in and of its self can be scary. He has already had too much disappointment in his life and I don't think he can take much more from anyone, especially you."
"But I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm new to this thing and I'm so damn confused." The younger man whispered leaning forward, "Rachel just tell me what to do and I'll do it, damn I'll do anything you think will help I just want my brother back."
"I'll tell you the first thing you need to do. You need to acknowledge what happened because Dean did try and kill himself. You can't pretend he didn't because this isn't going away and I want you to listen to him, really listen. If he wants to know how you and Sam are then tell him every sickeningly boring detail because he needs you guys and then when he starts talking listen to him as if he is the only person in the world. Admire everything he does because I don't think your father gave him enough attention when they were living together. Did you know," she paused and pulled out the wrinkled paper Benny had given her from the garbage can yesterday evening, "that Dean could draw?" She asked laying the picture down on the table before him.
She watched as the agent leaned forward in admiration and ran his fingers gently over the paper before falling back into his chair, "What? I had no idea."
"Encourage him in whatever he decides to do, whether it is school, sports or the arts. He needs to know that you and your family, whoever that may be, believe in him and that the world isn't resting on his shoulders. Dean has this crazy idea that if he doesn't put on a brave front that the world will stop spinning and everyone will hate him and he will perceived as worthless. That isn't true, not one little bit but he doesn't understand that. I'm really trying to help him and I am making progress but I'm his Doctor and I'm only going to be able to get him so far before you need to step in. You're his brother and his hero. I need you to take the reins here. Are you up for the job Tony?"
She watched with calculating eyes as Tony stood up before answering, "Yes." With that the man turned and left her as she watched him walk out the doors.
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He wasn't sure how he got there, but Tony 'woke up' when he was staring at the front of Gibbs house. Walking in he found the upper floor dark and the tell tale scraping of the wood planer coming from the basement.
Sliding towards the stairs he stepped down each bare board step until he reached the bottom where Gibbs was already waiting with a glass of bourbon for him, "How did you know?"
"You aren't the quietest kid around Winchester," Gibbs answered handing the jar over and sitting on the bottom stair and motioned for him to follow suit, "and I figured things didn't go as planned. So do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
He wasn't sure how long they sat in silence drinking bourbon and listening to the grainy radio station playing crappy country music before Gibbs finally stood up wiping his hands on his jeans, "Let me show you how to use the planer, it could come in handy one day."
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"Knock, knock." Rachel said as she knocked on Dean's door as she made her last rounds for the night, "can I come in?"
Stepping into the room she was surprised to find the bed empty. Benny had said he made sure Dean was deposited safely in his room before locking it for the night and he had also noted he made sure to remove anything remotely dangerous.
Moving to check the other side of the bed she found the man of the moment sitting on the other side of the bed curled in on himself and watching the moon, "its pretty this time of night isn't it?"
"You can't see it as well in the city," Dean answered continuing to look out the window, "it was one of the perks for moving around with my dad. When we were moving around we rarely ever stayed in the cities we always somehow managed to stay in little towns. The moon and stars were something I had always taken for granted until I came here."
Rachel slowly eased herself down to sit next to him and leaned against the bed, "What happened tonight Dean? You were doing so well during our sessions and you were so excited to see your brother this evening."
"I don't know. I really missed Tony and then when he couldn't even acknowledge what happened I guess I got scared. Do you think he is ever going to come back?" He asked looking with teary eyes to her, without a doubt hoping he hadn't screwed things up big time.
"He'll be back but you scared him tonight. Just give him time and I'm sure he'll be back before you know it."
"Thanks Dr. Cranston, I'm tired now."
Seeing her dismissal she stood up and watched as Dean crawled under the covers before she started towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow."
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Dean waited until he was sure the ward was empty except for the two mandatory night nurses. Slipping quietly from his bed he tested the door knob and found that it was unlocked, smiling he slowly pulled the door open and stuck his head out to see if the coast was clear.
Hearing one of the other patients start screaming he pulled his head back in when he saw the nurses run passed and waited until he heard them pass before sneaking into the hallway. Careful not to let his scrubs make any extra noise he hurriedly walked towards the desk where he knew there would be phones. Getting to the desk he went around and pulled the whole machine to sit under the desk with him before quickly punching in his brother's cell phone.
He waited for a couple of minutes before he realized Tony was probably sleeping and wouldn't get this. Getting ready to hang up he was surprised when he heard a muffled hello come from the other end, "Tony."
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