Chapter 2
Cognitions.
"Disgrace! You are unworthy of my teachings… get out of my sight!"
"Please sensei! I beg of you!"
"Look at you! …You can't even help yourself and you're trying to help others! …No! …You do it for your own benefit!"
"…No…"
"Yes! …And you know it's the truth! …You can't even save them!
You can't save them!
You can't save them!
Bash!
The tall figure standing before me disappeared; coming out of nowhere, and although it was just a shadow, I could still recognize it. Harsh words coming from the apparition, even before I had more time to talk, it vanished. Bewildered by its sudden words, all I could do was stand; stand on nothing, as nothing surrounded me. What was left was a moment of total darkness.
But soon after, smoke rose up as it began to materialize. A small light source came from it as it assembled into another shadow. Camouflaging with the darkness around, it was impossible to recognize. Too far away to see who it was, the question slipped out of my mouth.
"…Who? …are you?"
"How could you!? …"
Even more confused at its express response, all I could do was to ask once more.
"…W-what? ..."
"Leaving you family in a crucial moment, how could you!?"
"…I...didn't…I…I´m sor…"
"So deplorable… I can't stand seeing you… you're a disgrace! …"
"No…I…"
Bash!
Once again repeating the same act, the figure disappeared. A dark void embracing me in a blanket of loneliness, blood rushed to my feet. The long-forgotten feeling began creeping up inside of me, but before it could take me whole, a dim light appeared; it was another form. Looking at it for a moment, the one that took its place was… different; it was a female.
Silence taking over, not a single sound was heard. With only the shadow shaking its head, I couldn't do anything but to keep standing without a single movement. But not long after, the figure spoke; its shadowy appearance beginning to fly off, it said its only words.
"…You…..Disgraceee…."
"…I…No! ...why!? …"
Yelling out, I ran towards the dissolving figure, but before I could touch it, it vanished.
Bash!
Light. Contrasting with the previous manifestations, this one had no more shadow figures. With a familiar feeling to it, I had been teleported once more, but this time into a semi-dark room. Brighter than the previous, I struggled to adjust. Blurry at first, I managed to get a glimpse at my surroundings. My eyes searching around, I was finally met with four figures, four persons; two adult men and two small youngsters.
It was then that I immediately knew what was going on.
NO! …..WAKE UP, I HAVE TO WAKE! …WAKE UP!
Futilely trying to somehow escape from the scene, it was impossible. Knowing it was a dream, somehow had to escape. Trying my hardest, to concentrate, I was interrupted by a furious yell.
"TALK!"
"…"
Thump!
The gun smacking his head, the young boy tied up wouldn't talk. Blood flowing from his forehead, he looked like he wouldn't speak no matter what. Eyes filled not with anger or fear, but rather with emptiness, he smiled to the other next to him.
Another boy next to him also tied and mouth covered, watched the scene; eyes swollen and red from crying, he was trying in vain to escape from his captors but stopped when he saw the other´s reaction. Staring at each other for a few seconds, the second youngster tried to reach out frantically towards his wounded friend while muffled sounds came from his tied-up mouth, but his actions came at a heavy price, as they were soon met with a tip of a boot; as one of the men slammed his to the ground. And with the previous action, the gun-wielding man asked once more.
"One last time; WHERE IS IT!?"
"…"
Eyes now facing the ground, they had an aura of hopelessness and despair. Yet on his lips were a small and slight mischievous smile. And with not even a single drop of fear could be felt from his aura, he stood still.
"I will count to three… tell me...and you will live…."
"One"
The gun was cocked back.
Running towards the weapon in hopes of stopping a tragedy, my hand phased thru; it was obvious now, I was just a ghost. A bystander in my own dream. And like if my voice was ripped out of me, I tried but failed to scream out.
"Two!"
The hammer was pulled back slowly. The eyes of a killer burned deeply inside the man's sockets. Futilely trying once more to stop him, all I could do was watch. Not being able to do something, I dropped to the ground and turned the other way, trying to shield myself from the scene.
No! …Nooo! Please!
BANG!
"Noooooooooooo! ….."
Heart pounding so rapid, it felt it would burst out of my chest; heavily sweating and gasping for air, I woke up. Eyes rapidly searching around and my body slightly shaking, I finally brought myself back.
Sitting up on the small bed, I gasped for air, trying to steady myself.
Ok…Ok, Calm…Calm…
The horrid event somewhat still vivid, but with the strange apparitions having more effect, I couldn't suppress the need to rethink the nightmare I woke from. With my mind trying hard to exclude the final stage, I vaguely remembered the first ones.
Sensei? …What was he doing in my dream? …And better yet, who were the others and what were they talking about!?
"That… wasn't him…."
Whispering, I persuaded myself that it was just a fabrication of my mind. But the cold, dark place I was standing in my dream was still vivid. And even more were the strange figures that were castigating me.
Creations of my mind? … Or is that how they are reacting? ….to my situation right now!? Trapped inside a virtual world!?
It had been so long since I had another nightmare like this since the start of the death game; yet each time, I would profoundly begin thinking about my family and loved ones. I hoped for their wellbeing daily, but times like these, I would for some reason begin doubting their welfare.
"….Sensei, I've failed you…"
"….Mom, Dad, Grandma… I've failed you too…."
"….I'm sorry… Anya… darling, I've failed you the most…"
Lamenting my current real-life state, I almost let out a tear. But despite all of my anterior failures and errors, I still had their support. I was certain that they would be there for me. the hope of that was what kept me running all this time.
Remembering that, I had to keep on fighting. I had to pay them back for all they had done for me.
I can't let them down…
The fear felt earlier now out of my system, I regained my former self and didn't hesitate to animate myself.
This isn't even a challenge! ….For crying out loud! I've been thru worst…...Shiiit! I'm even married! …. It doesn't get worse than that!
"…I will go back; like I said once, this WON'T stop me!"
Seeking to forget the nightmare I woke from, I smiled; in an attempt to store my cognitions.
With the self-discipline I inflicted on myself, I got up from my extremely short rest and checked my clock. Knowing that work would help lessen the hurt inside, I focused on it, from the very beginning and up until now.
8:17 pm. Alright I've got some time….Seeing the bright side, that nightmare was able to wake me on time, or else I wouldn't be up right now!
"Time for action!"
Having a few minutes to spare, I turned off the alarm and equipped my clothing and armor. Heading towards my men's INN rooms, I prepared to wake them, as it would be difficult for them to rise from the battle just a few hours ago. I was furious at the "generous" four hour rest they granted my team and I after the battle; but it was something, so I had to take it.
"Sorry, but orders are orders! …"
Turning the door knob, I didn't hesitate to wake my men.