Abel sat quietly on top of the bar, as Tara stood in between his legs, her hands wiping at the cuts on his face, with gentle yet practiced ministrations. He did his best to ignore the silent tears that were making their way down her face, he didn't care what was wrong with her, she didn't have a bullet in her knee.
"Jax," Tara said quietly breaking the silence they had been awkwardly or thankfully – he hadn't decided which yet – been sitting in for the past few minutes, "Isn't used to be told what to do, he's the one who tells people what to do."
"I didn't tell him to do anything," He said roughly not bothering to mention that what he should have told Jax was to not be a dumbass. Maybe then he would quit playing around with Cassie's life.
"No," She agreed, "But he also isn't used to being disobeyed, the club answers to him, I choose my battles, and Thomas isn't one to need to be told what to do."
"Thomas?" Abel asked considering she had spoken the name like he should know who that was. These people hadn't understood yet, that he really didn't give a shit.
Tara froze in her ministrations before licking her lips and moving towards her medical bag, "Thomas is your little brother, he's seventeen, actually."
"Jesus Christ," Abel muttered running a hand through his hair, well this just got better and better, didn't it? Now not only did he have two sets of parents, and a missing girlfriend, now he had a little brother to deal with.
If he had wanted a sibling, he would have told his mom to go adopt another kid.
"Any other bombs you want to drop on me?" Abel asked resisting the urge to tell Tara to keep Thomas the hell away from him, he wasn't interested in playing happy family, he hadn't come here for them, he didn't want to know them, and he had no plans to do that.
"You sure you want to hear it?"
"Oh great," He said jumping off the counter, "There's more?"
"One more thing."
"Perfect lay it on me, Doc."
Tara opened her mouth to speak but nothing instead more tears formed in her eyes and a sad, almost wistful smile spread across her lips.
"What?"
"Nothing," She shook her head, "You called me Doc, and it was just weird, it was like I was talking to your dad."
"My dad is on a business trip in Texas, and my mom is at home probably worried out of her mind. So if you would just tell me whatever it is that you need to tell me, then the faster I can get my girlfriend, and get back to my life."
Abel hadn't mean to say that to her, but he was so fucking sick of Jax and Tara acting like they were his parents. They didn't get to call him son, they didn't get to reference to each other as his dad or mom, they didn't get to tell him what to do, they weren't his god damn parents, and it seemed they needed reminding of that particular piece of information.
"I'm not your mom," Tara said crossing her arms over chest, "Not your biological one, anyway."
"What are you talking about?" Abel asked after he had processed that, it couldn't have been a coincidence that he had dreamed about Tara before, and the Priest had told him Tara was his mother, and considering it was so completely obvious that Jax was his father, he never even thought of the possibility that he was lied to.
"Wendy Case," She spat the name out like it was some kind of disease, "That's your biological mom's name, and she's a junkie whore. She overdosed on crank, and we had to do an emergency C-Section, I was there during the operation, I assisted. You were born with a hole in your heart, and your insides upside down, I assisted on the operations to fix you. You want the truth Abel, your birth mother was a junkie whore who didn't give a shit about your or a shit about-"
"Tara," Jax's voice said loudly and strongly, "That's enough."
"Then why is your name on my birth certificate?" He had lied, there had been a copy of his birth certificate, one unmarred, where both her name and Jax's name was listed, he had lied to the Priest, not that it had really don't anything.
"Because I'm your mom, Abel. I chose you, and you chose me."
"Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows, "Well sorry to tell you this Tara, but you didn't chose me eighteen years ago, and neither did Jax. And I sure as hell don't choose you now."
The clubhouse fell silent as Abel became acutely aware that the entire club was staring at the three of them while he looked back and forth between Tara and Jax.
"I didn't come here for the truth," Abel said quietly and resignedly, "But maybe it's time I tell it to you, I am not your son, I haven't been your son for eighteen years. I have a mom, and I have a dad. I don't want you guys, not either of you, not Thomas, not any of you. I didn't come here because I was curious, I never gave a shit about where I supposedly came from, the only person I care about right now, the only reason I am here is for Cassie."
"And what would she think of you?"
Abel turned to face Jax, his hands forming a fist as if trying to comprehend the fact that Jax had just said that, that he had just went there.
"I don't know Cassidy, but I heard her on the phone. Do you think she wants this for you? Do you think she would want to see you like this?"
"Maybe after you start back up your illegal gun trading business, we'll talk to her, and find out," Abel said before adding harshly, "Or maybe she'll be dead by then, and if she's dead, then I guess it doesn't really matter what she thinks of me, does it?"
"You care so much about your dad, huh, Abel? Well he obviously didn't teach you much about respect did he? I'm not your dad Abel, I understand that, and if you want to keep talking to me like that, if you need someone to be angry at, go ahead, I can take it. But if you're going to be here, you are going to show Tara respect."
"Jackson, don't," Tara said quietly.
"God what is it with you two?" Abel laughed with no humor whatsoever, "Is this some kind of good cop bad cop? I don't give a shit about either of you."
"Then why the hell should I give a shit about your girlfriend?" Jax yelled so loudly that it echoed throughout the entirety of the clubhouse.
Abel shook his head, "You shouldn't, I'm sorry for coming here, it was a mistake. You didn't even give a shit about me, and I was your kid, I don't even know what possessed me to think that you would actually get an innocent girl out of the mess you created."
With that, he turned away from Jax, and stormed out of the clubhouse dodging Tara as she moved to grab his arm.
He got into his car, and backed it out in one quick motion, before hitting the road, at a speed that couldn't have been legal even in Germany.
God, he was such an idiot, Jax and Tara had given him up for adoption, not to mention Wendy didn't want him. None of these people here had wanted him, and they had all had him fooled thinking that they were actually willing to help Cassidy, like they actually gave a damn about someone other than themselves.
But they didn't, they didn't give a damn about Cassidy, about him, about anyone. They just didn't fucking care. They hadn't wanted him eighteen years ago, and they didn't want him there now.
And Abel was more than happy to comply with their wishes.
He drove till he got to the damn 'Welcome to Charming' sign and it took all of his self-restraint and then some not to plow his car through it. Instead he pulled off on the side of the road by the sign and turned off the car.
He was quite for a moment before he yelled in frustration and slammed his hands onto the steering wheel. He couldn't do this, he wasn't strong enough for this, he couldn't do this, especially not without Cassidy.
She was his rock, she was everything good and pure and innocent in the world, she was all the love in the world, and now that she was gone, it was like all the love had been sucked out of it as well.
Abel picked up his phone from the cup holder, his hand briefly grazing Cassidy's coffee cup, causing him to pull it back as if he had just been burned.
He sighed at his irrationality and pulled his phone up to his ear after dialing the familiar number.
"Abel? Baby, oh thank god!"
"Hey Mom," He smiled despite himself, "How are you?"
"Wrecked," She admitted, "Where are you Abel? What's going on? And Cassidy, oh god Cassidy."
"I can't tell you where I am, Mom," He said in the most rational tone he could manage, "But I promise you that I'm okay, I'm safe, it has to do with my birth family."
"Abel," She said quietly, "I never intended for you to find out this way. I was always going to tell you, but it just never seemed like the right time, and then-"
"Mom," He interrupted before she could throw herself into a bigger panic than she was already in, "It's okay, I already knew. I always knew."
Katy fell silent for a moment before she asked, "How did you know?"
"Besides the fact that I found my birth certificate? It just wasn't something that was a huge secret to me Mom, I just knew."
"Did you find anything else, any kind of papers, or just the birth certificate?"
"Just the birth certificate," He said slowly, "Why?"
"It's nothing," She said and Abel could just tell she was shaking her head in that manner that she had, "I promise, are you with them right now, your birth parents I mean?"
"No," He said honestly, "I'm working on getting Cassidy back."
Katy sighed over the phone, Cassidy wasn't just a big part of his life, she was also a big part of his mom's life. His dad was always out on his business trips, and whenever Cassidy even thought his mom was getting lonely, she'd drop everything and spend the day with her.
At first, it was little weird, but soon Abel had come to appreciate his mom and Cassidy's relationship. His mom was fragile, and she couldn't take much, he really couldn't even begin to comprehend how she was holding up now, Cassidy had protected her, kept the loneliness and paranoia at bay.
"We should call the police."
"We should," Abel agreed despite the fact that they both knew that neither of them were going to do that, "Have you talked to Dad?"
"Not yet," She admitted, "He's about to close that huge deal, and honestly I was too paranoid to use the phone, I didn't want to use it in case you called."
Abel was quiet for a moment, "I love you Mom."
"I love you too, baby, so much." There was something in her tone, like she was longing for something, but he couldn't do anything about it, not when he had so many other problems he had to solve himself.
"I'll call you soon Mom, I have to go."
"Abel, no matter what happens, I've always wanted the best for you, always."
"Mom," Abel said gruffly blinking back away the tears he had managed to keep at bay since all this had happened, "This is getting a little Hallmark."
"I get to be a little Hallmark, I was held at gunpoint yesterday."
Abel laughed despite the fact that the statement wasn't funny at all, "Alright Ma, I really need to go."
"You bring our girl home Abel in one piece, both of you."
"I will," He promised hanging up and throwing his phone across the length of his car.
He pulled at his hair with his hands and slammed his hands against the steering wheel repeatedly, yelling the word 'fuck' repeatedly as he did so.
He couldn't deal with this anymore, he couldn't take it, it had been twenty-four hours and he was already bent so far that he was about to snap in half. Everything he knew about his life was wrong, and nothing made sense.
Why was the Priest targeting him?
Who was the Priest working for?
What did the IRA want?
Where was Cassie?
How was he going to make it another day?
How was he going to survive this?
Everything was just wrong.
And Jesus Christ Tara, for as long as Abel could remember he had dreams about a beautiful woman with a kind face and gentle eyes, for as long as he could remember Tara had been making her way through his head, weaving her place into his life. She was supposed to be the good, she was supposed to make everything better, she was supposed to be able to fix anything, do anything, but above all Tara was supposed to be able to bring him peace.
But this was her fault, her and Jax had done this to him, she was his mother, and she had given him up, she had caused all this.
God he was a freak show with three mothers, two of which who didn't even want him.
While Wendy was something – or rather someone – he hadn't been expecting, it also went over his head, as far as he was concerned Tara had been there literally from the second he was born, she had all but saved his life, and that was as biological as he needed, Wendy was irrelevant.
That thought drove him insane more than anything, Tara had effectively saved his life and then ruined it.
And that was the problem, he didn't know how or when, but at some point, Tara had made an impression on him, an impression he had clung to so firmly, that the idea of her not being who she was in his dreams, was like turning his world upside down.
It was like screwing up everything that he believed in.
And if he was being complete honest, Abel didn't know what or who to believe, not anymore, and especially not himself.