The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Mess-Up-The-Plot

by MaidOfLife-abandoned

The memory of Tom Riddle gestured dramatically at the unconscious Ginger by his feet. "It's pointless to try to save her, you know. I'm stealing her magi-" "Don't care." "...What?" "Nope, she stole my favorite quill last week. She can fend for herself." Crack. No pairings.

2. In Which Wormtail is Useless

In Which Wormtail is Useless

Harry watched helplessly from his spot on the grave of Tom Riddle Sr. as Wormtail held one arm over the bubbling cauldron. The man raised his other arm, holding the silver knife tightly, and quickly brought it back down in order to chop off the other hand.

Unfortunately, Wormtail had looked away while he did this, as he didn't want to see all the blood and such. This was unfortunate because the stupid coward couldn't very well aim while looking away like a squeamish little girl. As you can probably guess, he missed his arm (rather spectacularly, Harry would tell later) and instead hit the edge of the cauldron, resulting in him dropping the blade into said cauldron.

The failure of a Death Eater barely had time to whisper a terrified, "Oops," before the potion exploded, killing Wormtail, melting Lord What's-His-Face's current body, and somehow spontaneously combusting the statue holding Harry without harming the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Lucky-Little-Bastard.

Not very long, I know. But it was somewhat funny, right? Oh, and if anyone actually bothers to read author's notes, I've run into a bit of a problem; I have several chapters planned out for each book except for Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows. If anyone has ideas for those, I'd love to hear them!