Paradoxical Sleep
Chapter the Second: In Which Science is Unexpectedly Attractive
Penny awoke with a start. "That was some dream," she muttered to herself, unable to stop herself from recalling every moment. How real everything had felt. His warm hands, the strings, the dancing, the laughing, the fabric of her dress against her skin. Blue eyes burning into her own.
She threw the covers off. Why had she dreamed of dancing with Sheldon? Sheldon, of all people? Sometimes she really believed that he was crazy, and one day, he would drive her there with him. The dream had been perfectly logical (God, she was even starting to sound like him) until he had showed up. In a tuxedo, no less! And danced her off into the sunrise like this happened every day.
On the other hand, she'd slept wonderfully. Maybe the chanting had helped, after all.
That had to be it. The chanting, her seeing Sheldon unexpectedly, holding his hands while breathing in the magic-candle-smoke, all of this had corrupted her brain. Penny had just been confused, and now it was morning and it was all behind her. Now it was Monday morning, in fact, and she was thanking her lucky stars that she didn't work the morning shift today.
Upon stumbling into the kitchen, Penny discovered something much more unpleasant: she was out of coffee. "Looks like it's time to pay a visit to the boys, hmm?" Talking to herself, again. Sheldon really had driven her off the deep end.
She sauntered across the hallway and tried the door. Unlocked; they must not have left for work yet. Penny tossed her hair over one shoulder, making a mental note to wash it before going to work. She went about making coffee as usual, figuring there was no reason to go back to her own apartment when 4A often proved more interesting. Then she heard a sound so surprising that she couldn't help it if she froze.
Somebody was humming. It wasn't quite as shocking as if she'd heard whistling in a Sheldon-dominated apartment, but...humming was pretty darn close. She wondered if Leonard had gotten some the night before, but there was no sign of a woman's presence, and Sheldon hadn't mentioned any "coital activities" when he had come over to her apartment. Unless, maybe, returning the jacket was just an excuse to get out of the apartment...
Leonard emerged from the bathroom, his face lighting up as he caught her eye. "Penny! Morning! You...must have run out of coffee again," he said. She nodded in confirmation, grabbing a mug for her coffee. As she went for it, she realized that the humming was still going on, and it obviously wasn't coming from Leonard.
Penny whipped around. "Is...is that Sheldon humming?" she asked, trying to sound somewhat casual, but oh my God, if Sheldon was humming some little...was that Broadway?
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, no clue what that's about. I'm not complaining, though. He's been so busy humming, he's barely talked all morning." Leonard smiled at this.
Her breath caught as she suddenly remembered her dream. She wasn't sure that she wanted to see Sheldon after that dream, and it wasn't even dirty. Maybe it was worse than that—it was so freakin' romantic. They had danced until daybreak, in some big fancy ballroom, like the ending of some cheesy movie that definitely wasn't her life.
Like he knew exactly when he was unwanted, Sheldon entered the room, still humming very quietly. "Good morning, Penny," he said in a tone that was almost pleasant. Did his eyes linger on hers for just a second longer than usual, or was she just being paranoid?
She didn't even reply, just smiled and mumbled something about needing to get ready for work before making a speedy exit from 4A.
Showers always calmed her down, and boy, did she need it that morning. The hot water across her back felt wonderful, like she was becoming a whole new person. She smiled through the water as she lathered up her hair. Maybe the chant really did work; Sheldon had chanted with her, kinda, and here he was, humming! She'd done a lot more chanting than he had, so something really miraculous had to happen to her today. A casting agent coming in, stunned by her looks and obvious talent, giving her an awesome role in some new movie that would go on to be a hit—she drifted off into fantasy.
Penny stayed in that fantasy for most of the day. It was easier than looking at how her day really was (pretty crappy) or worse, letting her mind drift back to that bizarre dream. It was actually a little better than drinking, although she did have a little just to get her through the night. She nearly drifted off during a rerun of "America's Next Top Model" before finally giving in and heading to bed.
The next thing she knew, she was standing on a stage, smiling down at the people around her. There was Johnny Depp, applauding enthusiastically. He had admitted to being a bit of a fanboy about her, and who could blame him? Emma Stone and Amy Adams were shouting and freaking out—her besties were amazing. The room grew darker as she began to give her speech, but too late she realized that it wasn't a speech; she was only repeating "pulchritude, pulchritude, pulchritude". The eyes of the audience were red now, and, as one, they uttered a guttural growl.
She stared at her hand as the statue crumbled away, trying to strangle the "no" that was dying to escape from her lips. Everything seemed to be complete blackness.
Penny squinted. There, in the distance, floating ever nearer—a structure like none she had seen before, she was sure, but it looked somehow familiar. Before she could blink, she was inside of it, gazing up at huge spheres and beams. "What is this?" she said, furrowing her brow, feeling certain that it would be easier to tell if only she could be on the outside again.
"It's deoxyribonucleic acid, more commonly known as DNA," a grating voice said from somewhere to her right. "Specifically, two strands of your DNA interwoven in the typical double-helix style, as rendered by my mind."
She swore. Loudly. "Not again," she groaned. "Sheldon, why are you here?"
He was visible now, perched on one of the mega-sized beams. "I believe I should be directing that question to you, since this is my dream." He glared down at her. Penny returned the expression.
This standoff lasted for a minute before she sighed. "So, my DNA, huh?" she said, trying to have at least some semblance of excitement. She was an actress.
Sheldon sniffed. How he was able to make sucking snot back into his nose sound so condescending, she'd never know. "So it appears."
For the first time, she noticed what he was wearing. The clothes were in his usual style: loose pants, a T-shirt, and a layered long-sleeved shirt underneath. She was positive that this particular outfit was not in his real-life wardrobe, though. The pants were blindingly white and not quite as unflattering as the normal fare; his T-shirt had an image of the same structure they were currently inside, apparently her DNA. The long-sleeved shirt was striped, but not really noteworthy.
"So if this is your dream, why are you in my DNA? How do you even know it's mine?"
He appeared a little sheepish. "Even I cannot always decipher the workings of my subconscious mind. By the same token, I simply know instinctively that it is yours. It's certainly not mine." He sniffed again, and she had a feeling she should have been insulted by some part of that.
Penny leaned back, resting her head against one of the large balls. It was a halfway decent pillow. "Well, I guess you can study to your little heart's content, then. I'm gonna sleep."
"Wait!" he protested. "You are operating under the incorrect assumption that this is your dream."
Her eyes were still open enough for her to tell that he was nearly pouting. "Yeah, so?"
"Why would you sleep if you are already sleeping? Who knows what the consequences could be, if it's even possible?"
"I thought you said this was your dream," she said grumpily, squishing the ball between her arms.
Sheldon deigned not to reply, evidently. "This DNA," he said, gesturing around their surroundings, "is part of what makes you who you currently are. It shapes you in more ways than you can imagine. Can you honestly say that does not pique your interest?"
She hated it when Sheldon was right. "No," she admitted, sitting back up.
He smirked.
"Well, are you going to tell me about it or not?"
So it was that she found herself listening to Sheldon lecture her on the workings of her DNA and the chromosomes that contained it. Some of it she vaguely remembered from high school science, and he seemed unusually thrilled whenever she could answer any of his questions correctly. Penny realized it was, in a weird way, kind of endearing how excited he was about knowledge. Science did seem a lot more interesting when she was literally in the middle of it, but she had always preferred biology over physics.
To her surprise, morning came quickly. The nucleotides began to fade away, and she realized that she was waking up. Sheldon was looking at her with an almost sad expression, and she managed a smile. "Thank you, Sheldon," she said, actually meaning it.
Sheldon was troubled, so troubled that he was not even considering his name with "Dr." in front of it or "PhD" behind. These recurring dreams of Penny were beginning to weigh on him. He had never believed in the meanings of dreams, but surely his subconscious had to be signalling something to him with this—but what? He hated puzzles when he was unable to solve them.
He considered himself nothing if not a master of his own emotions, so he directed this frustrated energy into his work. He made pages of notes for his upcoming paper, erased his whiteboard dozens of times, and scared several interns with his intensity. Only in passing did he recall last night's "Adventures Inside Penny's DNA", as it would have been called had it been a children's show on PBS.
It was a Tuesday; Cheeseburger Night. Sheldon felt an odd sensation in his stomach when he realized that meant he would have to see Penny. He considered this wording—"have to" see Penny. He admitted that, while they had showed signs of a relationship close to enmity during the beginning stages of their friendship, he had since begun to feel quite affectionate toward her. Rationally, he knew that he cared for her deeply, and that even when she was being illogical (in that uniquely feminine manner of hers), he was still willing to do whatever possible to restore her to happiness.
So why did this emotional reaction resemble dread? Another unsolved puzzle, perhaps connected to the first. He hoped that the night's interaction with Penny would provide him with an opportunity to gather data.
When she came to take his order that night, something in her eyes was different. Sheldon was no expert on the subtleties of facial expression, but this difference filled him with concern. He had learned enough about Penny, however, to understand that she would prefer him to keep silent until they were alone, so he made no comment.
"Looking stunning, Penny," Wolowitz said, with an exaggerated wink. "I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U."
"Oh, sweetie, it takes more than a double bond of hydrogen to hold onto a girl like me," Penny replied. Sheldon was glad to see the light return to her eyes, but her words brought the dream back to the forefront of his mind. She often surprised him, but he never suspected that she had a knowledge of RNA. While last night's dream had taken place within her DNA, they had covered RNA briefly during the...lesson, he supposed it should be called.
Her eyes cut to his, and that peculiar stomach-dropping sensation became much, much worse. A look passed over her face, very quickly. Sheldon didn't know the meaning, but it resembled her expression when she caught on to something he was "up to", as she so charmingly phrased it.
The rest of dinner was pleasant, though uneventful. He found it difficult to concentrate on the perfectly complementary flavors of his Tuesday cheeseburger; her expression would not leave his mind's eye. He resolved to question her on its meaning.
She returned to the apartment approximately forty-five minutes after Leonard and himself. He crossed the hallway and performed his trademark triple-knock on her door. Penny let him in, the same curious expression on her face as before. Her blonde hair hung loose, and she had changed from her uniform into her pajamas.
Her couch had been returned to its original placement; he sat down upon it, feeling almost nervous. She spoke before he had a chance to ask about her previous emotions.
"All right, how are you doing it?" his neighbor asked, raising a single eyebrow and crossing her bare arms.
Sheldon scowled. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific if you expect me to understand."
"The dreams, Sheldon," Penny said, her tone suggesting irritation.
He sighed deeply. So what he feared had come to pass. "You are referring to the DNA—"
"—and the ballroom, yes," she interrupted, displaying her lack of basic human regard. "I knew it! I knew that there was no way I was making all of that up. You were in my dream! Really in it!"
"No, I believe that you were in my dreams. Note the plural." He wondered what the odds were that she would fix him cocoa if he asked, but dismissed the thought. More important things were at hand, as much as he longed for the delicious drink.
"Whatever, the point is, it's kind of freaky."
They exchanged a long look.
"I concede that point, you are correct in identifying its freaky-ness. However, as I do not know what's causing this, I also do not know how to end it."
Penny bit her lip. When she released it, it appeared larger and more moist than usual; this was natural, of course, but it intrigued him for some reason. He forced his eyes back up to meet hers. "Couldn't you fix this with, you know, science?"
"We could run an experiment," Sheldon said, nodding slowly.
"What would that involve, exactly? I mean, in this situation. You can't exactly take this to a laboratory." She giggled, suddenly. "A laboratory."
"What?"
"Nothing. What will we do?"
He had already considered this, but he took an extra moment for dramatic effect. "Well, I think the best plan of action at this time would be to observe the dream state more intensely, control the conditions, as it were. Two nights ago, I was dreaming about something different when your dream 'took over' mine, assuming that you began with the ballroom scene?"
She nodded. "And last night, I was at the Oscars before I ended up in my DNA."
"The Academy Awards? How interesting. What year?"
"I think it was supposed to be the future. I won...something."
Sheldon smiled, relishing the thrill of experimenting in a hitherto unknown setting. "Then it's simple! We pick a location we both know, and dream about that. We will maximize our time within the shared dream, giving us more time to study its properties, and we will control for one mind 'taking over' the other."
Penny had oriented her body toward him fully, which he believed was an indication of her interest in what he was saying. "Sheldon, I can't just pick what to dream about."
"No," he said, "but I believe that the odds will be in our favor if we both meditate on the place beforehand. You dreamed about dancing after watching a movie on that subject, because your subconscious was previously primed."
She nodded. "Okay, so, where do you suggest?"
He cocked his head. "The laundry room."
"Should I even ask why?"
"It is a place well known to both of us, yet devoid of emotional connections, unlike our respective apartments. It is relatively spare, so the details should be perfected in the dream without causing too much mental strain. Additionally—"
Penny held up her hand. "I wasn't asking why."
"Oh." He frowned. "You really need to improve your conversational clarity."
She tapped her fingers against her face. "All right, meditate on the laundry room. I can do that."
"Be very thorough, Penny. If the details do not agree, the dream may lose its stability," he said seriously.
She stood up; evidently, the conversation was over. She began to walk toward her refrigerator. "What are you doing?" he asked with mild alarm as she opened the door.
"Getting a drink. You want one?" Penny held up the bottle.
Sheldon was appalled. "You can't consume alcohol tonight, Penny!"
"Why not, exactly?" Her hair was falling in her eyes.
"We cannot have you intoxicated during the experiment." He folded his arms.
"I'm not going to be intoxicated, it's just one—fine, okay, I won't drink."
He considered his odds. "While you're over there, would you fix me some cocoa?"
"Good night, Sheldon," she said forcefully.
With a frustrated groan, he returned to 4A. Perhaps he could start preliminary calculations and draft his hypothesis before meditation. This was going to be a fun experiment, indeed.
End Notes: The song Sheldon was humming was "I Could Have Danced All Night" from My Fair Lady, for anybody who was curious. Also, I realized that I should explain my pseudo-scientific excuse for how their dreams seem to occupy the entire night. Part of the dream-sharing is the syncing of their REM cycles; therefore, they simply picked up where they left off at the end of the last period of REM sleep, without even realizing it. So there's my little bit of scientific justification in this piece of fic that is otherwise fantastic.
Howard's pickup line refers to the bonding of adenine and uracil (symbolized by the letter U) in RNA. Penny uses the fact that they are held together by two hydrogen bonds to make her reply. I didn't create his line (found it on Google, like he most likely did), but her reply is original.