Eight year-old shoots father fifteen times
By: Derek Monroe
Los Angeles Times
Earlier this afternoon, eight-year old Nikolina Holland picked up a gun that was sitting on a table in the backyard of her family home, pointed the gun at her father, Mick Holland, and shot him a total of fifteen times.
The eight-year-old who had been home alone with her father at the time, attracted the attention of the neighbors who immediately called the authorities before rushing over to the house, and taking the gun from Nikolina.
The mother, Cora Holland, arrived on the scene just before the police did, and arrived at San Luis Obispo General in the ambulance with both her daughter and her husband. Cora did arrive with a busted lip and a broken arm – though both injuries were caused by a fall down the stairs a few weeks earlier.
Nikolina, herself, seemed unharmed despite a plethora of bruises, and a cut on her cheek that is reported to be from the kickback of the gun.
Holland has been taken out of surgery and has been transferred to the ICU, where he is reported to be stable but not out of the woods.
While the police are still investigating, the general consensus so far seems to be leaning towards both domestic and child abuse. Both Nikolina and Cora have been treated at numerous walk in clinics, and hospitals for numerous injuries, for various unexplainable accidents and falls.
After all, I'm not sure what kind of handgun has a kickback, but the kickback from any kind of gun definitely doesn't cut into a little girl's cheek that deeply.
While there is no clear evidence pointing to Holland as being abusive – Cora has claimed that they are not living in a violent household, her daughter's actions seem to be telling a different story.
Holland is a federal officer and if indicted, will lose his job, though at that point, that may not be the largest of his worries.
While no clear action has been taking, eye witnesses have been saying that social services, police, and lawyers are at the hospital, and an anonymous source has come forward stating that they had heard little Nikolina say, "Why don't Daddy die? I shoot him lots of times."
From this side of the story, this case seems pretty cut and dry, Holland is an abusive man, and Cora is a battered woman – who couldn't protect her daughter – leaving Nikolina to take a stand and protect both herself and her mom.
However, there are many more factors we must consider, especially Holland's status as a federal officer, and Nikolina's age. Despite the little girl's bravery, she is still a minor, and her mother – who seems to have no intention of filling charges for domestic violence – will have sway over her story, and what she says.
Also, Holland is a federal officer who is highly revered, known for closing cases quickly and quietly, he has numerous key players on his side if social services tries to push the case including the full support of the police, the FBI, judges, and every person he has ever helped.
So while the guilty party is obvious, it is more likely than not, that Holland is going to walk.
So from me personally, and everyone here at the Los Angeles Times, here's to the little girl whose parents failed her, whose justice system is about to fail her, and whose whole life was over before it started. Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world.
Abel closed his eyes as he slowly crumpled the newspaper print-out he had in his hand, the tears were hot, and heavy, they burned his eyelids as he shut them both trying to keep them in his eyes, and trying to get them out.
"Eight year old Nikolina Holland shoots her father fifteen times."
God, how could he have been so goddamn stupid? There was a reason her mother was drunk all the time, there was a reason that Cassidy had a bad habit of running from every single problem she encountered, there was a reason that she was so closed off to him at first, there was a reason she avoided the topic of her father so much, there was a reason she never made plans. There was a goddamn reason.
"Why don't Daddy die? I shoot him lots of times."
There was a reason she had forgiven him so easily that night when he had been so high out of his mind that he had told her that he could so clearly see why her father had never wanted her. There was a reason she had forgiven him so easily when he had shoved her up against that wall so roughly that he could hear her head bang against the wall. There was a reason she had forgiven him so easily when he had simply walked away from her with Nick like nothing had even happened. There was a goddamn reason.
"Both Nikolina and Cora have been treated at numerous walk in clinics, and hospitals for numerous injuries, for various unexplainable accidents and falls."
It's because she had been trained too. She had been trained to like she was a dog, you do something bad, you get kicked, you do something someone else doesn't like, you get punched. You keep your mouth shut, and maybe someone will show you some kind of kindness. She had been trained to forgive the unforgivable.
"Here's to the little girl whose parents failed her."
Abel pushed open his car door, his movements jerky, and hurried, as he raced past the picnic tables, and through the doors of the clubhouse, down the hall and into the room that he knew was Jax's. If he hadn't known it would have been confirmed by the fact that Jax and Tara were lying on the bed. Or rather they had been, now they were standing up at his appearance. But he didn't pay any mind to them. He rushed towards the bathroom, and pushed open the door, crouched down, and threw up everything he had in his stomach.
"Here's to the little girl whose justice system failed her."
Abel ignored the sounds of his name that escaped both Tara and Jax's lips, he barely heard them, he barely heard anything over the overpowering words that screamed into his mind in that asshole's voice. It was overpowered by the image of a tiny little blonde girl, who picked up a gun, who was determined not to hurt anymore, who didn't want to be sad anymore, and tried to end the pain.
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
"I can't," He sobbed, "Oh god, I can't, I don't."
He couldn't find the words, and he couldn't stop the sobs that he had been holding in since the night she had been taken. He just couldn't do anything anymore, so he let himself fall into Tara – or maybe it was Jax's embrace – they both felt the same – just as strong, just as warm, just as comforting, just as safe.
And the thought only caused Abel to lunge forward and throw up again. Who had kept Cassidy safe? Who had kept her warm? Who had comforted her? Who had stood up for that little blonde haired girl named Nikki, who took beating after beating, who cried tears after tears? Who had protected her?
"Holland is an abusive man, and Cora is a battered woman – who couldn't protect her daughter – leaving Nikolina to take a stand and protect both herself and her mom."
"I don't-" He tried again but lost himself to his own sobs that were so heart-wrenching that he couldn't even identify them as his own.
His hands blindly searched for another – Jax's. He knew it instantly from the bulky rings that encased tough hands, and he managed to shove the newspaper article into his hand.
God he wanted to claw at his skin. He wanted to claw at his skin, and his DNA, and every part of him and just give it to Cassidy as an offering, to give it to her so he could beg for forgiveness, so that he could try and erase every bad thing he had ever done to her, he had ever said to her, so he could take back every tear he had ever made her cry. But he couldn't, he wouldn't, because he didn't want her forgiveness.
Because he didn't know any more if she was forgiving him because she really did, or if she was forgiving him because she was too scared to do anything else. But more than that, he didn't think he'd ever know if he truly deserved to be forgiven ever again, not when she could forgive anything.
"Nikolina, herself, seemed unharmed despite a plethora of bruises, and a cut on her cheek that is reported to be from the kickback of the gun."
Somewhere from somewhere far away Jax was yelling his name, and Tara was telling him to calm down, but he couldn't, he wouldn't, they didn't understand, and he was trying so hard to make them understand, but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth.
"Cassie," He sobbed, "Nikki."
"Here's to the little girl whose life was over before it started."
Strong arms yanked him away from the toilet bowl, he wasn't throwing up anymore, he was just clutching it like it was all he had to hold onto, like it was the only thing that was keeping him sane, though he wasn't even sure he was sane anymore, and pulled him into a strong chest.
And as if he was a little boy, Abel buried his head in Jax's shoulder, and fisted his shirt between his hands, and he continued to sob. He cried to his father like he had never gotten to do with his dad, he cried for the little girl who had been taken, and he cried for the little girl that had become a strong woman and still had been taken, he cried for everything that Nikki would never be, and he cried for everything that Cassidy had become.
"Despite the little girl's bravery, she is still a minor, and her mother – who seems to have no intention of filling charges for domestic violence – will have sway over her story, and what she says."
"I don't want Cassie to die alone," Abel finally managed to get out as he continued the break down that had never stopped. Nikki had died alone, she had died all by herself in a cruel world where no one had stood up for her, in a world where nobody had ever fought for her, in a world where all she had to protect herself was herself.
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
And that was the crux of the matter, Abel didn't want Cassidy to die alone, Nikki had died alone without a person in the world who gave a damn about her, and he would be damned if Cassidy died the same way. They had to get her out of there, they had to get her out of there so Abel could tell her he loved her, so he could tell her that she was beautiful, so that he could tell her that she was the most incredible person he had ever met, so he could tell her that she was important to someone – that she was the most important thing to him, but most of all, he wanted to tell her that she had someone fighting for her, that she would always, always have someone in her corner.
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
"Dad," Abel sobbed pulling away so he could try and look at Jax despite the fact that his tears blurred his vision, "Dad, I'm so scared."
"I know," He said placing a hand on the back of his head as his forehead placed itself back against his shoulder blade, "I know buddy."
He didn't know why but at that moment he realized something, his dad would have told him to man up, to save the day, and call it day, there was no room for being scared in his family, his mom had enough fear in her tiny body for an entire country, Abel didn't get to be scared, he didn't get to be anything less than a man.
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
"We're going to figure it out, okay?" He said fiercely, "We're going to figure it out, Abel, one day at a time. She isn't going to hurt again, not like this."
"You don't know that, Dad."
"No I don't, but what I do know is you're going to fix her. You're going to find her and you're going to fix her, you're going to fix every bit of damage anyone has ever done to her, you're going to kiss her, and you're going to hug her, and you're going to love her."
"But what if we don't find her?"
"We will, damn it Abel, I promise we will find her."
"How can you know that?"
"Because I found you, Abel."
"What?"
"Look at me," Jax said pulling away again and holding his face tightly so they identical blue eyes met each other, "I didn't want to tell you like this, I spent a long time trying to decide if I should tell you at all, but I'm going to okay, because you need to hear me, you need to hear this. So you need to promise me you're listening to me right now, I need you to promise you're hearing me."
Abel nodded as he desperately tried to find the deep breaths that would calm his down, his eyes searched the tiny bathroom frantically till he found the gentle green eyes that had danced in and out of his dreams for as long as he could remembered. Till he had found the peace that had comforted him for as long as he could remember.
Who had comforted Cassidy?
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
When Tara's soft hands were encased in his own, her wedding rings digging into the palm of his hand, he forced his eyes back to Jax's and he waited.
"Abel, you were kidnapped, and I found you."
"Here's to the little warrior who tried to save the world."
So just in case anyone was wondering this is my favorite chapter in this story, and I am so unbelievably proud of it, and if you never review on another chapter of this story again, it will be okay, as long as you review on this one.