Paradoxical Sleep
Chapter the Fourth: In Which Flight is the Key
It was just another ordinary day at work. The customers were entirely forgettable; Penny was bored, moving from table to table, humming some little radio ditty.
She remembered suddenly that it was Tuesday, and groaned. What crazy demands would Sheldon make tonight? Sometimes, when she thought about it, she was really amazed that she hadn't been fired yet. Still, for every "serious talk" Sheldon had with her manager, there was a commendation to balance it out. She was the only one he trusted with his food, after all. She was actually a little bit proud of that, even as she could hear his voice ringing in her head: "Yes, Penny, but with great power comes great responsibility".
He would then proceed to lecture her on how, originally, the phrase was slightly different, and not spoken by Peter Parker's Uncle Ben at all. Eventually he would get on a long track about the evolution of and misuse of phrases, and it would be nearly impossible to make him shut up.
Penny grinned. She knew him far too well.
"Penny?"
She turned; there, sitting at the "usual table" was Leonard. Just Leonard, looking like his usual cross between a dork and a hipster in an indecipherable T-shirt and butt-ugly jacket. She frowned and walked over to him. "Where's everybody else?"
He scratched the back of his neck. "Howard's mom dragged him to some kind of family thing and Raj went with him."
Penny smiled. "And Sheldon?"
"Sheldon's with me," he said, ducking his head in the way that he always did when he was confused.
She craned her neck. With his height, it would be easy to find Sheldon if he was anywhere in the restaurant, but it was all too clear that he wasn't. "Uh, no he's not."
Leonard blinked several times and turned. "Oh, there he is now."
Sure enough, there he was then, entering the restaurant, followed by...another Leonard. Sheldon strode over to them, other Leonard following.
"Penny, we're in grave danger, we need to leave," he said seriously. His Leonard was shifting weight from foot to foot, as if he expected an attack at any second.
Penny took a moment. "Sheldon, this is a dream, isn't it?"
"Obviously," he replied, giving her a condescending look. "That does not change the fact that we are in grave danger."
The two Leonards stared at each other. Penny was suddenly afraid that they would explode, and something about Sheldon's expression told her that this fear was not unfounded.
"Oh, this was not part of the plan," he muttered. "Penny, we need to run." In a move so fluid she suspected it was only instinct, he reached out, grabbed her hand, and began to jog awkwardly away.
Her feet stumbled as she tried to keep up. "Damn your long legs," she said to Sheldon, who didn't appear to hear her.
A loud humming was sounding behind them, so loud that he had to yell to make himself heard. "You see, the dream logic is collapsing. I did consider what measures we would have to take for this to occur, although I did not expect for us to find out so soon."
"Why is it collapsing?" she said, kicking off her shoes as she ran. Penny was a Nebraska girl, born and raised, and she knew that no matter how adorable her shoes could be, barefoot running was a lot better than staggering around in heels.
"We both dreamed about a person with whom we are well acquainted—Leonard, my roommate and your previous coital partner. We had also conceived different situations, whether consciously or unconsciously, to justify the other's presence. The two Leonards could not reconcile themselves, evidently, and the stability of the dream was jeopardized. May I add: it is not Tuesday, Penny."
She ignored his last comment. "So what's going to happen now?"
"I don't know," Sheldon said, smiling widely. He had a cute smile, she reflected, but it looked so out of place on his face that it was nearly scary.
Penny looked at him, really looked at him for a moment. A realization hit her, so strong and unlikely that she almost gasped.
"Sheldon, I think we're superheroes."
He looked down at his chest, emblazoned with a large blue S. Glancing around at his surroundings, he muttered, "It appears that we are traveling just below the speed of sound."
"How is that possible?"
"Well, theoretically," he began. She shook her head.
"Nevermind, it doesn't matter."
"The laws of physics always matter," Sheldon objected.
"Do you think we can fly?" Penny asked, excited. Her outfit was pretty cute: a teeny-tiny green miniskirt, knee-high white boots, and a snug tank top (with a giant P, naturally). Her crime fighting partner glanced at her, his odd crystalline headgear shining in the light of the explosions that followed them.
"This plot has no cohesion, so most likely, yes."
"Great," she said. They had stopped running, but their hands were still linked. His eyes were on hers, as if unsure of the proper social protocol. She wondered if she should tell him that there wasn't exactly a pre-established plan for preparing to fly in a shared dream state with your neighbor.
"Are you ready?" he asked, his breath coming quickly and his voice low. Of course, Sheldon nearly worshipped superheroes. If they could really fly (even if not in the "physical reality" as he would call it), it would be like he had joined their ranks.
Penny nodded. Night was falling around them; the sky was bleeding into a black vision. She concentrated.
After a minute, she was about to sigh and tell Sheldon it didn't work, when she felt her feet slowly lift off the ground. She peeked at him; his face was serene, but focused.
"You can fly, Sheldon," she said breathily.
"Yes," he replied. They were up a few feet now. "I expected to be able to, as you were the one who possessed the power of super speed." He sounded calm, but she heard the excited note in his voice. She hid a smile.
If this had been a real dream—a natural one, whatever—she would have wondered what this meant, to dream about flying through the sky with him.
Sheldon looked at his companion. She seemed much more than that, in this moment, as they gazed down at the streets of Pasadena. Her eyes were bright, so bright as to be compared to a supernova. Her lips were slightly parted. Penny was captivating, he thought for not the first time.
She shifted her arm, and he wondered if it was beginning to become sore. He felt as if her weight on his body was completely insignificant, and he suspected that the superhero persona he had adopted was that of Superman. Thus, he made the logical offer.
"Penny, would you like for me to carry you?"
Her expression suggested surprise, which was mildly befuddling. After all, surely even she had made the connection and realized that flight was most likely not his only skill.
"Um," she said concisely.
Sheldon sighed. It was at times like these when a man had to take initiative. Quickly, he slipped an arm under her legs, gripped her shoulders, and moved her into his arms. He tried to ignore the sensation of her bare skin beneath his fingertips.
"You're carrying me bridal-style," Penny said.
He looked at her. Her face was very close to his, but he assumed that as they were not in actual physical bodies, there was no danger of infection. "This is the way that Superman carries Lois Lane," he replied, somewhat stiffly. Even with the removal of her viral and bacterial risks, being this close to Penny was somewhat nervewracking.
"I'm not Lois Lane."
She had such a penchant for stating the obvious. His fingers were tingling; perhaps he was feeling the difference between human and Kryptonian biology. "But I am obviously some version of Superman."
Penny looked at him. "Okay, I'll humor you," she said, settling further into his arms. He wanted to reply, but for once, he had no words.
They flew on. Sometimes they would converse merrily, other times they were so still and silent that they both seemed to sleep. For his part, Sheldon Cooper spent a great portion of his night wondering if this pleasant thermal radiation, sourced in his chest, was part of the Superman lore.
He awoke gently, smile still in place. His thoughts were scattered when he woke, which was unusual for him; it took him the better part of a minute to recall why Penny was no longer in his arms. Her warmth had been soothing, and for one of the first times in his life, he genuinely missed the feeling of her touch.
He was so preoccupied with these unusual thoughts that he poured himself a bowl of cereal before he remembered that it was Scrambled Eggs Day. "Oh well," he murmured to himself. "It is Anything Can Happen Thursday, after all."
When Leonard came in, he frowned. "Isn't it Scrambled Eggs Day?"
"Anything Can Happen Thursday," was Sheldon's reply, but he irrationally wanted to add something about flying with Penny. Ridiculous, as that was, while exhilarating, entirely irrelevant to this conversation.
The whole day, Sheldon found himself with an oddly pleasing sense of disquiet, as though some wonderful surprise would leap out at him from a corner. He used the phrase metaphorically, of course, as there were very few corners that he encountered on a daily basis.
Then it happened. At approximately (exactly) 4:42, his phone rang. "Who could this be?" he said aloud. There was no point imprisoning his thoughts within his mind when his office space was devoid of other humans.
Penny, the caller ID screamed silently.
Penny.
Penny.
Sheldon picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey Sheldon, I know you're at work, don't mean to bother you—I mean, I'm at work too, but I'm on break. Do physicists get breaks? You take breaks whenever you want, so I guess I shouldn't apologize. Um...anyway, I know what I want to do for the next dream!"
Her incoherent rambling was somehow endearing. He hid a smile, although there was nobody to see it. "Well, go on."
Breathlessly, she said, "Age of Conan."
A sudden vision of Cheeto-haired Penny infested his mind. "What would be the scientific value of this experiment?"
She had obviously not anticipated this question. She waffled a bit, told him how fun it would be. Then she brought out the big guns.
"Come on, Sheldon, it's Anything Can Happen Thursday."
Darn. She had him there. "You finally put it on your calendar," he said, a bit pleased.
She giggled. "A matter of survival. Should I stop by for dinner tonight?"
Sheldon did not even pause to consider, and later he had to struggle not to occupy his mind on why, exactly, he never considered when it came to Penny. "You bet your boots," he replied whimsically.
"What'll we have? What'll we watch? Ooh, you promised more Doctor Who," she said enthusiastically.
"Doctor Who is acceptable. We'll start you from the first season of the 2005 reboot, to ease you back into the story. As for the food, why don't you pick up something?"
"Sure, no problem. What do you want me to get?" Sometimes he wondered how she could be so perky.
He hesitated, then said, "Whatever you like."
There was silence.
"Within reason, of course," he added hastily. "For example, you must include a lactose-free option for Leonard."
"You're asking me to choose your food?" Penny sounded nearly incredulous. He puzzled at this; she had taken his order for years, why should this be any different? He decided to resort to her answer.
"It is Anything Can Happen Thursday."
"Right, right. Okay. I better go. Love ya! Bye!"
Sheldon was left holding the phone, and facing a most irrational query. "Why did she say that she loves me?"
A dozen sheets of equations later and he still lacked an answer.
Endnotes: Of course, Sheldon's right about the source of "With great power comes great responsibility". I don't think I really need to tell you smart readers that. Also, yes, Penny was The Flash and Sheldon was not. I considered it the other way around, but I think that when you get down to her core, Penny is a traditionally romantic girl, and she'd like to have the dream where he carries her.