Abel slouched low into the wooden seat at the kitchen table in the Teller house, this was easily the most awkward, most uncomfortable moment of his entire life, this is what he imagined kids whose parents gave them the sex talk felt like, except he wasn't receiving a sex talk instead he was sitting at table in the Teller house with Jax, Tara, and Thomas – who was shooting him a death glare, which was surprisingly terrifying – and him and his mom on the other side.
He had told her, had told his mom that she wouldn't be welcome in Charming, that he didn't want her in Charming, but either the crazy woman was going even crazier, or it was like she was under some curse for the past four years that Abel had broken a week ago when he found out that his parents had bought him, and she suddenly wanted to be a mom again, or maybe she just wanted to be a rock star lawyer again.
"You can't be here." Jax said finally.
"Look Jackson, I know that this is hard for you-"
"No I mean you can't be here, you being here, changes everything, makes this a whole new shit show. You can not stay in Charming, not while Cassidy's life is on the line. We do whatever the Irish say without deviating from their script, and your presence in Charming is a deviation if I have ever seen one."
"Don't act like you care about Cassidy," Katy said sharply, "Don't act like you know enough about her to find her."
"She didn't run away smartass, it doesn't matter whether we know Cassidy or not," Tara rolled her eyes, "She was kidnapped, I believe you have some expertise in the area."
Well, if he was wondering where he got his attitude from.
"I don't, I am however Abel's mom-"
"Oh I'm sorry," Tara interrupted pointing between him and his mom, "Here we were thinking you were Cassidy's mom."
"Are you insinuating I don't care about her?" Katy crossed her arms over her chest.
"First of all, I don't insinuate anything, if I had something to say, I'd say it, and second, I'm telling you that there is no correlation to the fact that you are Abel's mom and the fact that Cassidy was kidnapped, unless of course there is."
"Are you accusing me of being part of this whole hostage situation?"
"I'm accusing you of being annoying, and a waste of my time. So unless you have anything important to say, I'd really appreciate it if you got the hell out of my house." Tara said firmly.
"Alright, enough," Jax interrupted as Abel's mom went to open her mouth, "What do you want lady?"
"You filed a police report when Abel was taken, didn't you?"
"Of course we did."
"That means he was flagged as a missing child, and since he was never found – not legally anyway – he is still flagged as a missing child."
"Okay, so what does that mean?"
"It means first of all, the charges against Abel can't be pursued there is no case, that means his deal with the FBI agent isn't something that he needs to keep."
"That's good," Tara said then look at Jax, "That's good right?"
"In theory," He said slowly, he had been in the life from the moment he was born, nothing good ever came without something bad, it was just the way the world worked.
"He was fingerprinted at the station that means the police should have known immediately that he was Abel Teller."
"Was being the key word."
"Would you let me finish?" Katy snapped.
"I don't like you," Tara said bluntly and childishly, and in a manner so unlike her that Abel smiled into his lap.
"Great, I don't like you either. The point is-"
"There's a mole in the police station." Jax interrupted, "Shit, that's why Abel was arrested, they knew he was going to be there, that's why they said they would know if we tried to contact the police, they have a goddamn mole."
"Okay, but can we be realistic here, Jax? I haven't met a single person who has walked into that sheriff's station and hasn't been even slightly in someone's pocket. That's just the way Charming works, it could be anyone."
"It's Agent Holland."
Tara turned her gaze onto him, "And how do you know that?"
"Because its obvious," He shrugged, "He's the one who arrested me, he was the one who just so happened to know everything about me, he was the one who took my fingerprints, and he's Cassie's father."
"Which," Katy said drawing out the word, "Means that this may not just be about Abel, this could be just as much about Cassidy as it is about Abel."
"It's not about Abel," Jax argued, "It's about me, Agent Holland is just a complication."
"So let's get rid of him."
Jax slowly turned to Tara with an uncertain look, "Babe?"
"Not like that, Jackson," Tara said, "Why does everything have to involve murder with you?"
"Can you stay focused?" Katy snapped.
"Sure, Agent Holland is a mole that is covering up Abel's kidnapping and we are trying to figure out why."
"Oh great so you're caught up."
"I'm very quick on my feet," Tara smiled widely in a manner that was completely sarcastic.
"Yeah? Is that how you managed to lose a baby?"
"Mom!" Abel cried over Jax and Thomas, "Outside now."
"No, I'm-"
Abel didn't bother listening to the rest of her protests, he simply grabbed her by her upper arm and dragged her out of the house, and onto the front steps.
"Abel Petrie, I'm your mother, you don't ever grab me like that."
"Abel Teller," He nearly spat, "You want to play dirty, you want to be a rock star again, then I can play dirty to. If you aren't going to act like my mom, then you don't get to be my mom."
"Sorry son, it doesn't work that way."
"Actually, for me it does," He laughed bitterly, "Because you see I seem to just have a whole bucket full of mother's just waiting to take your place."
"That's enough."
"That's what I'm saying."
Katy sighed running a hand through her hair, "That woman thinks she's your mother."
"That woman's name is Tara, and she is my mother." Abel said firmly, "I need you to leave."
"You're picking her?" She asked incredulously crossing her arms over her chest, "You're picking her over me?"
"I'm not choosing anyone," Abel cried loudly making her jump, "I am so in over my head, this is not our world Mom, so get in your car, and get the hell out of Charming. I didn't want you here in the first place. I told you not to come, I begged you not to come."
"I don't even know who you are anymore, Abel."
"That's the thing isn't it? Did any of us really know to begin with?"
"I'm going to the sheriff's station," She huffed turning on her heels and going to her car.
"Feel free to get arrested," Abel called half-heartedly as he sunk down onto the steps of the house tugging at his hair with his fingers; why was everything so fucked up?
Abel resisted the urge to groan in annoyance at the sound of the front door opening, no one really understood what being left alone was anymore did they.
Tara sighed sitting down next to him, placing her elbows on her knees, "In hindsight I could have been more mature about that."
Abel didn't bother replying to the understatement of the century. In hindsight both of them could have been more mature about that. In hindsight Abel should have run his mom off the road when she insisted on coming back to Charming with him. In hindsight he should have forced his girlfriend out of the car that night. In hindsight he should have never met Cassidy. In hindsight he should have never bothered being born.
"I know she's a good person, but she's just-"
"Could you stop?" Abel snapped looking at her, "Just stop calling them good people, my parents are not good people, they bought a baby, they literally bought a baby, so if you want to sit here with me then talk about something else, or don't talk at all, just quit calling them good people."
"I'm sorry, we keep hurting you."
Abel sighed tugging at his hair again, god he was turning into his mother.
"I used to dream about you," Abel said finally.
"What?" She asked quietly looking at him.
"I used to dream about you, before I met you, when things got really bad – or at least my old definition of really – I used to dream about you. You never said anything, you were just there, you brought me peace."
"I don't understand," Tara shook her head, "You were eight months old, there was no way you remembered me."
"That doesn't mean I didn't know you."
Tara gaped at him for a second before settling for looking away from him, and for a second he allowed the silence to envelope them, he allowed the tranquility to settle over them, but then he had to remind himself that this was reality, and reality sucked.
"I know I've hurt you, Tara, and I know that I'm probably the furthest thing from who you thought I'd be-"
"Abel no-"
"Just let me finish." He smiled, "I know I haven't been the kindest person in the world, and I know I haven't made your life easy, and believe me I know that I have screwed up the life you have spent so long fighting for, I know what I've cost you."
"I don't think that Abel, everything that's happening now, this is all bigger than you, it's not your fault, it's not mine, and it's not even your parents', this was all set into motion years ago the second John Teller decided to form the Sons."
"That's nice to hear and all, but I don't want to play the blame game with you, so just let me finish," Abel repeated, "I know that I treated you like an ass when we first me, I know I hurt you three days ago when I told you I was going to see my mom, and I know the kind of damage I've done by bringing her here, and so for that I'm sorry."
"Can I talk now?" Tara smiled gently as she placed a hand on his cheek.
Abel nodded.
"You have nothing to apologize for," Tara said firmly, "I knew exactly what I was getting into when I let you go, and when I saw you for the first time in the club – bleeding and exhausted – and then I saw the number you did on Jax – that's when I knew that while you were nothing like I thought you'd be, you were exactly who I wanted you to be."
"A kid who beats on his father?" Abel raised his eyebrows.
"A man who's willing to give up everything for the people he loves," Tara said wistfully making Abel realize something.
"You wanted out didn't you?" He asked, "You wanted out of Charming, out of SAMCRO, out of the life?"
Tara nodded, "That was the plan, you were already out, and your dad did some time, and decided he wanted out as well. Thomas wasn't even a year old."
"He never followed through did he?"
Tara smiled sadly and shook her head, "We tried, but life got in the way. Your dad loves me, Abel – god knows how much he loves me – but he also loves the club, it's his legacy, it's his birthright, and as much as your dad loves me, he loves the club just as much. I think a part of me always knew he would never leave."
Abel looked at Tara for a long moment before offering up his own birthright, "Have you ever heard of Drew Enterprises?"
"Of course I have," Tara said confused at the sudden turn in the conversation, "Why?"
"My dad's name is Mark Petrie."
Tara blinked before letting out a breath, "Well that sure as hell isn't Charming."
"I've been trained to be the heir to the throne for as long as I can remember."
"And is that what you want?" Tara asked, "Do you want the company?"
"Eventually," Abel nodded, "For a long time I was convinced that I was never going to be CEO, that I was going to go pro, but now I can see it, stockholder briefings, board meetings, the whole nine yards."
"What changed your mind?"
"Same thing as always," Abel shrugged, "Cassie."
"Cassidy asked you to give up soccer?" Tara asked disapprovingly.
"No," Abel shook his head, "Cassie asked me to be happy."
"Soccer makes you happy."
"Cassie makes me happy," He smiled, "And after all this, I can't think of anything I want more than sharing a shoebox apartment with her, going to college, and coming home to her every night. I want normal, safe, and happy. I want to live the most boring existence in the entire world."
"You guys are going to the same college?" Tara smiled, "Where?"
"I'm going to Yale, Cassie's not going to college."
"Why not?"
"She can't afford it," Abel sighed running a hand through his hair, "Her mom's a drunk, her dad's an abusive bastard who she literally shot out of her life. Her and her mom – when she's sober enough to get to work – make enough to have decent lives, but not enough for college."
"And I'm guessing she won't let you pay her tuition?"
"The one and only time I suggested it she gave me an entire lecture on how she wasn't a gold-digger before proceeding to literally forget my existence for two weeks."
"You should try again when we find her, kidnappings tend to put things into perspective."
Abel laughed along with Tara despite the fact that nothing about the situation was even remotely funny.
"I don't have room in my life for a mom," Abel said quietly, "I'm not saying that to hurt you, but I need to say this. I don't have room in my life for a mom like I have room for a dad."
"I get that, baby, your mom is a good mother – despite everything – her entire world revolves around you, she fights for you, and she loves you more than anything, and that's enough for me, Abel."
"She's alright," Abel admitted, "But that's not the point, the point is, I don't have room in my life for a mom – I already have one – but that doesn't mean I don't have room in my life for you. You've been in my life just as long as she has. You are just as important to me as she is. You are important to me, Tara."
Tara smiled and planted her lips on his cheek for a long moment.
"So what exactly do you have room in your life for?"
"A friend," Abel smiled cheesily, "I have room in my life for a friend, beyond that we can figure it out together."
Abel held out his hand nervously, he knew that this may not have been what Tara wanted from him, but this was all he had to offer. Tara was an incredible woman, and he had meant it when he had said she was one of the most important people in his life, but he couldn't pretend like the last eighteen years hadn't happened.
There was a difference between letting Jax be his dad again when he had seen Jax more in the month he had been here than he had seen his dad in his entire life, and letting Tara be his mom when he already had a mom who had all but single-handedly raised him.
"You know," Tara smiled taking his hand and lacing their fingers together, "I never thought I'd get friend-zoned by my own kid."
"Oh yeah?" Abel raised his eyebrows, "Thomas never wanted to be just friends?"
"If I was friends with Thomas he would tell me where he sneaks off to when he ditches his prospect guards."
Abel laughed, he had really thought that Jax and Tara knew about Alena, but apparently the little shit had really managed to keep it from them.
"You know where he goes!" Tara gasped smacking his arm.
"I know Thomas is too old to have prospect guards."
"I don't care how old he is, Tommy is never too old to have his parents looking out for his safety."
"I'm not a parent," Abel shrugged, "And I can't tell you you're wrong, but he isn't a prisoner Tara."
"Do you think he feels that way?" Tara wondered, "I know when I was sixteen Charming literally felt like hell, I don't what I would've done if I constantly had someone tailing me."
"I think Thomas is too good for small town life," Abel said honestly, "I think he's too good for all of this but I also think he's too laidback for city life. I think Thomas doesn't even know what he wants."
"What about you?" Tara asked, "What do you want? I mean I know what you want, you want Cassidy, and soccer, and Drew Enterprises, but what do you really want?"
Abel thought about it for a second before tightening his grip on her hand, "I want all of this to work out. I want to find a way to make all of this work, I mean after we all stop needing one another to find a way to get my girlfriend back. We have to find some kind of balance Tara. We have to find some kind of balance between the life that I was supposed to have, and the life that I do have."
"What if there was already a balance? What if there was almost a bridge that's going to keep us all connected?" Tara asked carefully to Abel's confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"Cassidy's pregnant."