Sayid kept his voice calm, trying not to add to Sawyer's agitation. He'd figured Sawyer would panic. He heard Kate's voice in the back of his mind, 'I just think he got hurt, bad, by someone else before'.
"No. I won't do it. Untie me NOW!"
"I mean you no harm."
"You don't think forcing me to do this is harm!"
"I am not forcing you to do anything."
"Then why the fuck am I tied to a tree?"
"Because you would not still be here if you weren't."
"Damn straight I wouldn't. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"Yes. It tells me you were hurt before. It tells me you do not trust me. It tells me I have a long way to go to earn your trust."
"How do you think I'm going to trust you after you do this?"
"I am not going to do anything to you."
"You just tied me up for no reason?"
"No. I tied you up so you would stay."
Sawyer turned his head away.
"Just get it over with."
"Very well." Sayid took a step backwards. Keeping his voice as calm as he could, he continued. "What is it you dream about?"
"Why do you want to know what I dream about?"
"Because it keeps you from sleeping well."
"So?"
Sawyer was still refusing to look at him. Sayid wanted to grab him and force Sawyer to look at him. He wanted to make sure Sawyer knew that he would never hurt him. He wanted to protect Sawyer from anyone hurting him ever again. Unfortunately, right now he couldn't do any of that.
"If I brought you out here to do anything to you, we would not still be talking. Does that not help you to trust me a little? At least just for now?"
"Why should it? You can still do anything you want, whenever you want."
"If I release you, would you stay?"
"You wouldn't."
"I would if you promised not run."
Sawyer did look at him then. "You expect me to believe that? You think I'm that stupid?"
Sayid didn't say anything. Nothing he could have said would have made a difference. Sawyer wouldn't believe him yet. Sawyer would learn to trust him. Even if it took the rest of their natural lives.
"Fine. Cut me loose then."
"Do you promise not to run?"
Sawyer refused to answer and turned his head away again.
"I thought not."
"You were going to take me last night. Why should I believe you aren't now."
Sayid sighed. "To be honest with you, there was a moment where I almost did. I didn't though." Sayid hadn't wanted to share that with
Sawyer, but it was only right to be completely honest with him if he was going to ask Sawyer to trust him.
"Yea, cause Charlie came in."
"No Sawyer. Charlie came in later. When I was trying to... Talk to you."
Sawyer remained silent.
"Sawyer. When I arrived at your tent last night, you were upset. When I saw you crying I wanted comfort you. I reacted before I thought. All I intended to do at that point was to figure out what happened. You struck out almost immediately. I believe something reminded you of the past. Whatever happened, I did not realize what was going on at first. When I realized you were seeing something else, somewhere else, I tried to talk to you. You called me George."
Sayid watched Sawyer carefully. Sawyer's breathing seemed to become more rapid and irregular at the mention of that name. Still Sawyer refused to talk to or look at him.
"Sawyer. I need to know what he did to you. If you don't tell me, I might accidentally do the wrong thing again. Please."
"You wanna know what he did to me? For starters, he tied me up so I couldn't defend myself! Couldn't stop him from hurting me!"
"Sawyer, we've been through this. I told you would free you if you promised not to run. I don't like this any more than you do."
"You're not the one tied to a tree! You're not the one who's helpless!"
"I don't want you tied to a tree either. Promise me you will not run. Please."
"Go fuck yourself."
Sayid sighed again and went back to leaning on the tree. This was not going well, but he hadn't expected it to. He had to find some way to
get Sawyer to trust him. As long as Sawyer was tied up that was never going to happen. If he freed Sawyer he'd bolt and Sayid wouldn't be able to talk to him further. Sayid pulled out a knife and stared at it. He had to set Sawyer free and let him run. If he didn't Sawyer would never trust him. Even if he did Sawyer might still never trust him.
"I am sorry that you were hurt." Sayid said quietly.
"Yea? Well that makes two of us."
Sayid walked to Sawyer and cut the ropes. Sawyer backed away from him instantly.
"Go. I won't follow you."
*Sawyer*
Sawyer didn't move. He didn't trust Sayid. There had to be more to this. Why would Sayid go through all this trouble and then just set him free? He wanted to run, but he hesitated. Maybe Sayid was telling the truth.
"Why would you do all this and then let me go?"
"I told you, I want you to trust me. You said you couldn't because you were tied and helpless. I do not wish to do anything to cause you pain.
Although, I have to say that I had hoped this might help you trust me a little."
"Why me?"
"I do not know. I only know that I care for you."
"Why?"
"I do not know. I told you that."
"Why do you want me to trust you?"
"Because I need you to know that I will not hurt you for no reason. That I will not take you against your will. That you are safe."
"Safe? That'll never happen."
"It could happen."
"Oh yea, how?"
"When you learn to trust me. That I mean you no harm."
"Prove it."
"It is not that simple. It takes time Sawyer. I would like to point out that I cut you free and I'm not stopping you from leaving."
To hell with it. If Sayid was going to hurt him, he couldn't stop him. He couldn't out run Sayid if he wanted to chase him down. There was also nothing to stop Sayid from catching him somewhere, sometime and taking him later. Sawyer had to know. If Sayid was going to hurt him then so be it. Sawyer would survive. He always did. Sawyer walked up to Sayid and looked into his eyes. For a moment neither moved.
Sawyer's hand shot up and grabbed Sayid by his hair. Sayid's first impulse was to knock it away and put distance between them. He didn't know what Sawyer was up to. Sayid used all his self control not to move. Sawyer pulled his head backwards slowly. Sayid couldn't stop from resisting at first. After a few seconds he allowed Sawyer the freedom to move him.
When Sawyer leaned in and kissed him, Sayid couldn't move. Sawyer's body was pressed against his and the kiss was amazing. Sayid started reach up to hold Sawyer but stopped himself. It was taking all his willpower not to move, but he had to prove that Sawyer could trust him. It was over sooner than Sayid would have liked, but it had been amazing. Immediately after the kiss ended Sawyer released him and backed up.
"That was amazing." he told Sawyer.
Sawyer didn't respond. Sayid watched him, but didn't move. His body posture told Sayid he was seconds from fleeing. If Sawyer was going to run he'd let him. Sawyer was going to learn to trust Sayid wasn't going to hurt him.