Authors Notes:
Genre: Humor and Mystery
Characters: Vector, Espio, Charmy, Sonic, and Amy
Plot: The Chaotix Detective Agency is hired to watch Sonic as he visits downtown, but what they find shocks them even more than they thought.
"No problem! The Chaotix Detective Agency should have no problem with your case!" Vector slammed down the corded phone he was using to hang up.
"Charmy! Espio! We have ourselves a new case!" the green crocodile shouted into the small building where they all three resided. Charmy flew into the office through the window, buzzing and humming a catchy tune he remembered. Espio opened the door to the locker he was using for meditation. The darkness and cold metal made it easier for him to meditate.
"What's our new case, Vector?" the ever curious honey bee asked his boss.
"Oh it's a good one, and the pay is huge!" Vectors arms spread out to show the giant payload the job was offering. His eyes would have turned into dollar signs if the invisible money was tangible.
"So what is it then?" Espio grew impatient. He was upset from being interrupted from his meditation time.
"We have a steak-out!" Vector revealed to his co-workers.
"Steak-out? Does that mean I can order a T-Bone?" Charmy buzzed close to Vector with big, begging eyes.
"No, Charmy," Vector explained, "it means we get to sit in the car and watch someone doing shady activities."
"Sounds like a great job for a master ninja like me," Espio boasted.
"Yeah, yeah," Charmy brushed it off. "Can we still get steak though?"
"With the amount we are getting for this job, we can have steak every night for a year!" Vector cheered and jumped on his desk in excitement. Charmy cheered with him and spun around his dancing body.
"Well what is the where and when for this case?" Espio wanted to get his facts straight if he was going to be on this case.
"Always concerned about the job," Vector whined. "It is in downtown. We were instructed to watch over and take photos of a blue hedgehog called Sonic while he is in the area."
"Sounds pretty simple," decided Espio. "How about the time he should be downtown?"
"The client said around six o'clock tonight," recalled Vector. "I think we should leave early and pick up some grub. This is a steak-out after all."
"Sounds good to me: Charmy Bee!" the insect rhymed, spinning around the room while repeating his new phrase. Espio and Vector both looked at each other. They mentally took note to bring duct tape if Charmy got to verbal during their outing.
Sometime later, the amateur professional detectives parked on the side of the street, on the watch for that blue hedgehog.
"So if they call it fast-food, how come it took 20 minutes to get our food, huh?" Vector was complaining about the slow serviced fast-food joint they where they bought their food. "They didn't even get my order right: I said I didn't want onions!"
"That sure is a shame Vector," Espio dryly said sipping from his lemonade and taking bites from his salad.
"No need to cry over some silly onions, Vector!" Charmy laughed at his clever joke. Espio couldn't help but laugh along with him.
"Laugh it up, chumps. Remember who pays your salaries," Vector warned them with a shaking finger.
"Yes sir!" Charmy straightened out his back and saluted his boss. Espio let out a smirk on the side of his lips at Charmy's wisecrack.
"Why I outta," Vector mumbled while shaking his fist.
"Wait! Is that a blue hedgehog I see?" Charmy pointed to the side window. A blue hedgehog with peach colored arms and stomach had walked by the car.
"Well if it isn't Mr. Sonic," Vector pulled out the camera and handed it to Espio. "Try and get some shots if he starts acting shady."
Vector turned the key to get the engine going on the car. The car hummed with power and he eased out of the parallel park. The car crept up on the blue hedgehog, waiting for him to make a move. The hedgehog was about to head into a movie theater after he bought a ticket for one.
"It looks like he is just watching a movie tonight," Charmy said.
"Espio, I want you to zoom in on that ticket he bought and snap a shot," ordered Vector. Espio focused the camera on the hedgehog's hand as he was standing still for a moment. The camera autofocused and he captured the picture on film. The image appeared on the digital screen on the camera.
"Well? What movie is he seeing?" Charmy called out, trying to see the camera's screen.
"I can't believe I'm reading this, but he is going to see '50 Shades of Slate,'" Espio surprisingly read to the group.
"Zounds! That movie is a total chick flick!" Vector exclaimed. "Boys, it looks like we have a sizzler."
"What a sizzler!" Charmy cried out.
The blue hedgehog, with a newly revealed feminine side, walked into the movie theater. The Chaotix Team decided to wait until he had come out to see if he did any more activity. After an hour had passed, and after the team had almost fallen asleep from boredom, Sonic had left the theater and was on the move to his next location.
The team jumped to life and started up the car. They pulled out just as before and followed that suspicious hedgehog. He seemed to be doing a little bit of window shopping when he stopped and walked into a make-up store.
"I can't see what he is doing in there because of all the posters being sold around the windows," Espio told his boss.
Vector cranked the gears in his head for a moment. Those rotating gears finally turned on a light when he said, "Go in the store and buy a poster so we can see him clearly!"
Espio quietly opened the door and rolled out on to the sidewalk. He slid his back against the store's wall, trying to be silent, sneaky, and unseen from the blue one. He was on his tip-toes about to enter the store when he realized the blue hedgehog didn't know he was being tracked, so why did he have to be secretive? Espio went back to his normal gate and pace walking into the store.
The hedgehog was near the counter looking at lipstick shades. Espio quickly fond a store associate and asked to buy one of the posters in the window. The salesman pulled down the one Espio selected and headed to the checkout.
"A poster, huh?" the salesman said.
"Yes this is all I will be buying today," Espio said clearly.
"I used to have some signed posters by a great band back when I was in uptown," he told to Espio.
"Oh what happened to them," Espio was not one to make light conversation, but he did not want to be rude.
"I had to throw them away after the divorce," the salesman said coldly.
He bagged Espio's poster and gave him the goods.
"Don't ever get married," he whispered as the bag was being held by the two of them.
Espio needed to get out of there before Sonic got curious to his purchase. He took the bag and left the store to the car.
"Great job Espio! Now we can get that picture," Vector patted his friend on the back.
"Yes but at what cost?" Espio looked down to the flooring with his hands shaking.
"Uh, are you okay Espio?" Charmy asked his purple pal.
"I can never go there again," were his only words.
Vector pulled out the camera and took a shot of Sonic buying some shades of lipstick with matching eye shadow.
"What is this hedgehog up to?" wondered Vector.
"I know right?" Charmy agreed. "Those shades are so not his color."
Vector and Espio could only put their hands to their faces and shake in them. They heard the store's doorbell ring and Sonic was off to his next stop. Vector drove the car out of its parking space and slowly followed that peculiar hedgehog. He walked a few more blocks and stopped to go into a dress parlor.
"Dresses? What is up with this guy?" Vector cried with his hands raised.
Espio took the last picture of Sonic buying a red dress from the shop. He flicked thorough all the sizzlers that they had taken and Vector came up with his ace detective hypothesis.
"I hate to say it boys, but I think Mr. Sonic T. Hedgehog is a drag queen," Vector suggested.
"What's that mean?" asked the always asking Charmy Bee.
"It is a man who dresses to the likeness of a woman and tends to perform on stage," Espio explained to his young co-worker.
"Enough talk. Let's get these photos over to the client. She said we could meet her at the coffee shop a few blocks down when we had the pictures ready," commanded Vector. The car quickly burned off the road to the coffee shop where the client was said to be. The three of them parked the car, opened up the doors, and walked to the coffee shop. A woman was wearing a red headband with matching dress waved them over to her.
"Hi! I'm Amy Rose. Thanks for taking my case. So did you get any good information for me?" she sweetly asked the detectives.
"We sure did ma'am," Vector gave her the camera. "Have a look at these shots we got this evening. The pink hedgehog looked over the three photos they had taken for her. She gasped at each one of them, a greater, more powerful gasp after each.
"I know this is very shocking ma'am. I'm sorry to say that Sonic is-"
"The best boyfriend in the world!" Amy interrupted Vector's conclusion midway. The three detectives looked puzzled at her positive reaction.
"My birthday is coming up," she told them, "and he got me everything I wanted! He even watched through that girly movie so he could see if I would like it or not! Isn't he the sweetest?" Amy sighed at her infatuation.
The pieces were finally put together and Team Chaotix realized what he was doing.
"You wanted us to take pictures of him buying you your birthday gifts?" Espio asked the pink hedgehog.
"Yeah, I wanted to make sure he got the right things!" Amy happily said. "You've been a big help. Here is your check like I promised." Amy pulled a written check out of her purse and handed it to Vector. He kissed the check sweetly and embraced it in his arms.
"Oh sweet, precious money! How I love you so!" he said to a piece of stationary.
"Looks like this case is solved!" Charmy said. "I just can't wait until the next one!"