Author Note- Thank you so much for all the lovely g reviews. I intended for this to be a one-shot, then a two shot and you guys have me inspired to continue and thinking about this story while I'm at work.

Callie

Somehow life goes on after the night of Brandon's speech and my late night visit to his bed. Six weeks pass and things go back to mostly the way they were before that night. I spend time with Wyatt. I spend more time with Jude who seems to need me more with the arrival of Sophia and Robert in my life, I allow Mariana to suck me into her daily crises. He's busy with the band and I guess with Lou. I don't really know. But things with us have softened since that night- I think we've both come to understand that we're not picking other people over each other. We're just both trying to be happy since we can't be together. And if happy isn't a possibility, then maybe just a little less lonely.

When we do interact, it's awkward and sad and the cloud of what could have been or what could maybe still be looms large. And still, bumping into him in the kitchen or the hallway or during forced family bonding is always, always the best part of my day.

The adoption still hasn't happened. It will though. Robert, feeling guilt or maybe his own cloud of what could have been, has asked me to agree to weekly dinners with him and Sophia for 2 months before he signs the papers. He assures me it's not because he wants to make things difficult, he just wants us to get to know each other and he worries I'll have no incentive to come see them once I'm officially a Foster. Lena and Stef, especially Stef, aren't thrilled but after being a little weirded out at first, I actually don't really mind. I like hearing him talk about my mom, I like Sophia and I don't think he has ulterior motives. Besides it's not like his wife is going to let him fight for custody- that might throw off her Christmas card portrait planning.

The way I see it, I have my family at the house and now I have two bonus people who want to be part of my life. Why shouldn't I embrace that? There's enough to go around, that was the first lesson Brandon Foster taught me. Looking back, I think I fell in love the moment I heard him say those words to me in the music room.

I'm surprised, except not at all surprised, when one day, out of the blue, Brandon tells all of us at dinner that he's having the ultra risky hand surgery later that same week. While I thought he had given up or at least put aside the idea for the foreseeable future and was content to just play with the band, he's been researching doctors and studies all along and has convinced Stef, Mike and Lena that this is a chance worth taking.

It stings a little that I'm finding out with everyone, that he didn't tell me this huge thing first. But I realize he's doing what I wanted- treating me the same way he treats the rest of family. He's trying so so hard. For me. The problem is seeing him do that is making me fall even more in love with him.

I'm lost in that thought when I hear Jesus asking about the band and Brandon telling him that Lou went to Chicago to work with a pretty prominent local band who had just lost their lead singer. He says he's happy for her, she may be gone awhile, he sounds pretty fine with it. Besides, he says, the band was a distraction from missing classical and he's realized that classical will always be it for him. I wonder if I'm the only one seeing the metaphor here or if the metaphor is entirely in my head.

The night before the surgery, Lena and Stef insist on a family movie night, perhaps to distract him, perhaps to distract themselves. We end up next to each other on the couch after Mariana, who is sitting next to Brandon, physically pulls me down in between them and then proceeds to go sit uncomfortably on the floor with her Judicorn. I'm not entirely certain but I think she winked at me while doing this.

I don't watch the movie as all of my attention is focused on how tense Brandon seems. It takes every ounce of restraint I didn't know I had not to take his hand, or rub his back or run my fingers through his hair. He needs to relax and I know I can calm him but not with everyone here. When everyone finally says their goodnights, I wait twenty minutes and then tell Mariana I'm going downstairs for water. I'm too stunned to respond when she says, "Go. He needs you."

And she's right, he does need me. I realize this even more when I see him sitting at his keyboard, staring at it but not playing. And really, it's perfectly appropriate as his sister and his friend under these circumstances for me to check on him. I go to the spot where I would go back when I'd bring in my guitar and we'd play together.

But there's nothing sisterly about the way I wrap my arms around him and then take his hand and kiss each finger, letting each one linger inside my mouth for a few seconds. I'm so focused on him that I don't even notice that the door doesn't close all the way behind me.