Possible Spoiler Alert! I should have put this warning in the first chapter whoops.
a.n/ Your reviews were such a big motivation for me, so thanks you guys! Anyways, I actually hope this chapter makes sense and doesn't seem too far-fetched. I probably make Kuroko out to be a more complicated character than he is. There is no Kagami in this chapter, that sucks for him.
Chapter 2. It must be nice, being so good without trying.
It was perhaps naïve to think things would remain the way they were.
Kuroko never expected for it to stay the same forever, he knew people changed, life moves on and takes its course. But it would've been nice if even for a little while longer, they could've continued that way.
When Kuroko returned from America, that was when he found out things were different from before.
He caught news from someone else, or more accurately he accidentally eavesdropped, that in the middle of the community centre's basketball match in the semi-finals, Murasakibara had suddenly given up entirely and left during half-time. At first, Kuroko didn't believe such rumours, but the evidence forced him to reluctantly accept that fact. It wasn't like Murasakibara to just give up in the middle of a match. They weren't even losing and the center just decided to abandon the entire team, the hole his absence left eventually did lead them to lose.
Kuroko tried to contact Murasakibara, to ask if something was wrong, but his inquiries were never reciprocated. The boy even went to Kise for answers but the blonde was even busier than ever. It also seemed that Kise had changed somewhat, or maybe he was always like that, but Kuroko never realized it.
As months passed, it came to that time for the sixth years to apply for middle schools. Kuroko had been so distracted and preoccupied with basketball lately that it slipped his mind. He wasn't so particular about the school itself to be honest, what interested him the most was the basketball teams. But even then, he didn't care much for the selection. So he went with his mother's first choice and applied for Teikou.
Kuroko wondered what school Murasakibara and Kise applied for. They never discussed it, and he hadn't talked to either of them since before summer vacation.
But before spring rolled around and the time for graduation came, Kuroko faced a reality he was denying the whole time.
The truth came in the form of Hanamiya Makoto (kanji for 'flowery truth'), which he supposed was fitting.
It was at the finals of a mini tournament where Kuroko first met the boy. Hanamiya was a middle school student, one year older, but he came from a school where the primary and middle schools were merged, so he was acting as a temporary player for a kid who was on leave from a severe injury. From what he saw, Hanamiya was an amazingly talented player for his age. His ability rivalled that of Murasakibara and Kuroko, so it was no doubt Kuroko was waiting for this match with bated anticipation.
By chance, right before the match began, Kuroko ran into Hanamiya in the hallway outside the gymnasium. Hanamiya was of average height, shorter than Kise, but height spoke nothing of true ability. Kuroko stopped walking and greeted him. "Hello."
Hanamiya's gaze was straightforward, but when he took notice of Kuroko, you could see his skin jump a little. "Hey! Don't pop out of nowhere like that." He frowned.
"I'm sorry." Kuroko apologized monotonously.
Hanamiya, with a casual observation, looked up and down Kuroko's frame. "What do you want anyways?" He said it a bit annoyingly.
"I just wanted to have a good match."
The taller arched a brow up to his forehead. "You? Don't tell me you're playing." He snorted with amusement.
Kuroko nodded, being underestimated was all too familiar for him to be offended. "Yes, I am."
A pleased smile seemed to grow on Hanamiya's lips. "Well, lucky me. Looks like this'll be easier than I thought."
"It's still too early to know."
Hanamiya stopped paying any attention to what he said and passed him into the gymnasium.
It became a given pattern that Kuroko's strength started slow and built up as the match went on. The first quarter was usually slow-paced to get the rhythm going and flow in their direction. This game however got heated from the moment the other team took the first ball. They passed to Hanamiya who was being guarded by one of Kuroko's teammates. It was a tight guard with little way out of it, but still, Kuroko never expected someone to go that low.
Hanamiya, with a wicked grin on his face, made a sharp pivot and jabbed his elbow into the side of the one blocking him. The boy clutched his side and weakened his guard, letting Hanamiya pass by easily and shoot it in the hoop.
The opposing team cried out in cheers for taking the first point.
"That guy just elbowed me!" The one marking Hanamiya pointed at his assailant accusingly.
Everyone saw it, there was no question about that, but the referee didn't see it so there was nothing that could be done. Kuroko already knew what was up. If he didn't put an end to this now, it was going to continue on.
"Hanamiya-kun." Kuroko went over to where the other was standing.
"Hm?" He bore such a pleasant smile that you wouldn't think he was capable of such twisted acts. "Oh, it's the runt from earlier. You should be addressing me as senpai, you know. I am older than you."
"To me, senpais are figures to be respected." Kuroko stared up with an unwavering gaze. "So I only address people who deserve that respect as a senpai."
Hanamiya snorted in absolute hilarity. "What a rude brat. Here's a word of advice, since I'm so nice." He leaned down to Kuroko's level. "Run on home, or else you might get hurt."
The threat was meant to instill fear, but on the contrary, Kuroko felt more fired up than ever. "No."
Hanamiya shook his head. "Then you're stupider than I thought."
Kuroko hadn't felt the desire to win this bad in a long time, no, it was a need to win. Hanamiya was a good player and could hold up on his own just fine without the use of tricks. There was good in him and Kuroko was the only one who could show him his way was wrong. But foremost of all, he just wanted to win against this guy who disrespected the sport he loves so.
It was an exception for Kuroko to come at full force right from the beginning. His plan was basically to destroy the opposing team as much as possible so they would open their eyes.
Turns out, the other team was hesitant about resorting to dirty methods so the foul plays only occurred a few more times. Kuroko was already too engrossed in the game to slow down, coming at full force non-stop. His opponents didn't know what hit them until the game ended 83 – 70. Kuroko scored the majority of the points.
When the whistle blew, a stagnant air of hopelessness washed over the court. Kuroko was panting from exhaustion as a sense of accomplishment overcame him. Good. So maybe now Hanamiya will reform his style of basketball and finally open his eyes to its true meaning. Kuroko glanced off in the direction of Hanamiya. "I hope you realize now, Hanamiya-kun. I won because I believed in my team and fought with the right method. This is the result of our hard work."
"Are you stupid?"
Kuroko looked up and saw Hanamiya staring at him with an expression torn between apathy and frustration.
"I'll defeat him and he will definitely overlook his ways – is what you were thinking, right?" He scoffed. "What the hell were you trying to prove, exactly? Hard work and fair play will lead you to succeed?"
A dark chuckle seeped from Hanamiya's lips. "Bullshit, all of it. You think you're fueled by such proper morals, but in the end you're just the same as that guy and me." His face fell. "We can't help it, natural talent is something only a few are born with. The geniuses prosper over the ordinary, that is reality."
Kuroko narrowed his eyes slightly. "… What do you mean?"
"How about you tell me…" He cocked his head. "After looking at the state of your own team?"
Kuroko didn't understand what he meant by that and turned to his teammates behind him. They should've been celebratory, exultant in victory after winning the big tournament. But the sight he was greeted with was far from his expectations. There were no smiling faces, no upbeat vigour in their attitudes, just a tense aura of gloom in all the players' faces. They won, but there was no sense of victory in any of them.
"That's just how it is, when a genius completely takes over his team. Eventually you'll get even better, and my point will become clear. Basketball is a sport about ability and winning through whatever means, that's all there is to it."
"You're wrong," declared Kuroko adamantly. "We fought together."
"Of course," he said. "They were there, but they were practically non-existent in your eyes, am I right? Honestly though, I've never seen such conceited playing before. Well, played." His grin twisted maliciously.
Words seemed to have failed Kuroko right then, for he said nothing even after Hanamiya and everybody cleared out the gym.
Afterwards, he couldn't seem to get Hanamiya's taunts out of his head, even though they were only said out of spite to incite him. It couldn't be true though, Kuroko always played with the team in mind. Always scored for the good of the team, to ensure their triumph, for the sake of making sure they didn't lose.
Kuroko paused in the hallway outside the changing room. Wait, was that true? Ever since Kuroko took up basketball and discovered he excelled at it, the only thing he focused on was finding newer and better challenges. He passed and played with his team, but he never worked with them. Every game, there was a lack of an established connection between him and his teammates because unconsciously, he thought they were lower than him.
All the time, wasn't it always Kuroko demanding passes? Always making the scores himself, a solo act as the ace.
In the time he was lost in his thoughts, a voice from inside the changing room snapped him back to awareness. It was a few of his teammates that were still left behind after the game.
"Hey… Doesn't it feel weird even though we won?"
"Yeah… Like we didn't even do anything to get here. It was basically Kuroko who did everything anyways."
"It must be nice, being so good without trying."
"It's not fair! I started loving basketball way earlier than he did!" The sound of something crashing could be heard within the door,
"… I'm going to quit basketball."
Kuroko felt his fingers curl unconsciously.
"What? Come on, you can't give up just because of that jerk Kuroko. What about your dream?"
"What's the point…? We're not always going to have Kuroko to win our games for us, and there's going to be way more talented players in middle school… It's better to quit now and save myself the trouble."
A pause. "… Maybe he's right."
The door suddenly opened, catching even Kuroko off guard. The one who opened the door jumped at the sight of the pale-haired boy. "Ah! Kuroko!"
Everyone in the room turned with startled expressions at the unexpected appearance of their ace. "Shit, was he eavesdropping on us?"
Kuroko didn't deny their accusation, even though it wasn't true. It all happened in a blur, he wasn't even aware of what his face looked like at that moment.
"Who cares if he was, it's about time I tell it to him straight!" One of the boys, a brunette Kuroko always thought was energetic and friendly, stomped over to the doorway. He leaned in so he was inches apart from Kuroko's face and scowled with all his might. "You may think you're some hotshot ace who doesn't even need his team to play, but I've got news for you! Basketball isn't some sport you play alone!"
"Hey, Kyou… Maybe you shouldn't -"
"No." Kuroko abruptly interrupted. "I want to hear what you have to say. Please."
Kyou laughed bitterly. "Acting all cool now? You're really something, Kuroko. You know, just because you're some prodigy, doesn't make you any better than me." He slung his sports bag over his shoulder and glared straight into the other's blue eyes. "I hope you're happy with winning today, because we sure didn't win anything with you." He shoved past him without a word after that.
The remaining few didn't accuse anything so extreme, but they agreed in hushed mutters amongst themselves. Even a boy who Kuroko considered the closest to him said as he left, "Sorry, Kuroko… But basketball just isn't fun with you."
He was left alone, abandoned by his teammates.
No… Wasn't it me who did the abandoning? Kuroko sat on the bench with his head in his hands for a long time. It only took a few minutes for him to come undone and cry silently in the empty locker room.
It became difficult to even hold a basketball after that, Kuroko just felt so distraught with his priorities. Has his way of basketball been wrong this whole time? Kuroko always figured as long as their team won, his teammates were happy. But there was always something missing, and that was the passion. The thrill of knowing you gave it your all as a team, that was the vital piece Kuroko destroyed. The worst part was knowing he caused someone to hate basketball enough to quit.
The beginning of March rolled around and that was when Kuroko encountered Murasakibara again.
It was a chance encounter; Kuroko was practicing in an outdoor court when he spotted a high head of purple hair. He was making a three-pointer and got distracted, but the ball still went in. "Murasakibara-kun."
"Kuro-chin, s'been a while." He strode over to the middle of the court and playfully ruffled the small one's hair. "Still as puny as ever."
Kuroko calmly swatted his hand away. "I grew. You just grew too much." Murasakibara did startlingly shoot up in height since Kuroko last saw him, as if he wasn't already tall enough. Kuroko only grew an inch at the least.
Murasakibara placed a hand on the top of his head and measured it out to the air above Kuroko. The difference was substantial. "Really?" He swung his hand back and forth continuously.
Kuroko wanted to get off that topic. "What have you been up to?"
"Hm? Well… Nothin' much." He scratched his head. "I've been experimenting with a bunch of new flavours… but I still like the original taste better." He was referring to a certain brand of crackers Kuroko didn't know about.
Kuroko passed the ball to Murasakibara who caught it with one hand.
"It's been a while since I last played you."
Murasakibara proceeded to remove his jacket and place it off on the side. He was more hesitant in putting down his unfinished snack. "I haven't been playing a lot since basketball is getting kinda boring, y'know."
Kuroko frowned faintly. "I heard you abandoned the championship match."
"There was no point. They were too weak to entertain me."
"But they needed you." Kuroko said but paused when something familiar tugged at him. They needed him to win… The same way my team needed me?
"Who cares?" Murasakibara looked even more menacing than before, as if something inside him ticked. "I wonder if you'll be able to save basketball for me this time, Kuro-chin."
Kuroko wasn't sure what happened after that, but the game ended with his overwhelming defeat of 52 – 29.
It all passed in such a hurried haze, Kuroko wasn't even sure if he was himself the whole time.
Murasakibara gazed down at the smaller in disappointment. "It's too bad, Kuro-chin. I thought if anyone could make me love basketball again, it would be you. But even you turned out to be more of a disappointment than I thought."
What… Just happened? Kuroko knew he wasn't this much of a weakling before. Even if Murasakibara significantly grew in height and ability, his level was still somewhere Kuroko could at least keep up. So why? The whole time it felt like his body was refusing to listen to his commands. He anticipated every mistake he made, but his movements weren't his own and acted entirely out of control.
'Sorry, Kuroko… But basketball just isn't fun with you.'
There was a detached aura to Kuroko's demeanor when he became aware of it himself. Subconsciously… Am I holding back?
The words of his vexed teammates carved deeper into him than he thought.
Kuroko couldn't even muster up a farewell when Murasakibara walked out. He just stood there, sweaty and panting on shaky legs. Around him, the dusk of the evening was starting to sink in, creating silhouettes of dark shadows on the ground.
Was this the end for him? From a few simple phrases said out of spite, his body no longer contained the will to challenge anybody. No, it was more than that. Kuroko could infer the sensation in his nerves by seeing the state of Murasakibara now. Ever since he began the sport, he was fighting alone. There was never the spirit of the team behind him, Kuroko could've had anyone for a teammate and it wouldn't have made a difference. He never felt that overwhelming joy of securing a win with his comrades. He never bumped fists with someone. There was a void in him that couldn't be filled by simply winning alone. Kuroko gulped harshly, still not wanting to believe it himself.
He was starting to hate basketball.
It might've been a rash conclusion due to all the events that transpired, but in the end Kuroko never got the chance to think it over. Very soon after, his parents got divorced, even though they rarely fought in front of him.
Kuroko entered freshman year of middle school with all the days of childhood behind him.
Teikou was one of the higher ranked middle schools in the district with highly esteemed faculty and renowned academics. But they were especially known for their athletic facilities, with the most prominent being the basketball club.
Obviously, Kuroko's mother took great consideration in her son's interests. The boy wasn't sure if he should be grateful or not. It didn't matter now though, his mother moved back to the countryside while Kuroko stayed in Tokyo with his father to continue his education.
His graduating year brought so many hurdles, but Kuroko was determined to overcome them. There was no time to sulk about his parents' separation or the loss of his friends. Between then and now, Kuroko took the time to settle down and breathe for a second. He was known to maintain a cool head in dire situations, and this moment was when he needed it the most. If he could no longer muster up the spirit to play basketball, that didn't mean he was completely alienated from it now, there was one vital point. His greatest mistake was only playing with his own agenda and disregarding everyone around him. Now he could learn from it and move on. Teamwork was his weak point, so all he had to do was make it a strong point. Don't play for yourself, play for others.
With newfound resolve and a fresh take on basketball, middle school was going to be different; he was going to make basketball enjoyable for everyone. This time, Kuroko was going to see everyone smiling.
On the first day of acceptance, the most apparent thing was to join the basketball team straight away.
He already came with an idea in mind. It was in the midst of re-watching the dvds he owned of his past tournament games when it struck him. He was looking for errors, plays he could've executed better without selfishly moving on his own. Kuroko honestly didn't notice the pattern at first until a quarter of an hour into the game.
'Why didn't I pass to #4? He was wide open...'After noticing that one little opportunity missed, his eyes became open to all those other flaws. Kuroko passed the ball to his teammates a few times, but it was only after a considerable gap in the points was made, or with the ball immediately returning back to Kuroko. He was startled by how little he passed. It wasn't always like this before, so when did it start?
But now he knew the key, honestly he didn't know why it took him so long to realize. Every basketball match he watched, the best scores were always made with the aid of great passes. The fluid movements between the players, the faith they held in one another, it was all part of the stunning sport orchestrated amongst true athletes.
Passing. An art Kuroko never really got to appreciate.
Everything else became simple after that. He would just start his own specialty in passing.
It was difficult at first, after all, there was an extent to how much you could accomplish on your own with passing. Kuroko spent endless hours watching videos of various basketball matches, while always mindful of the passes made.
How can I make this into a weapon…? There were all sorts of tricks and plays regarding passes, but they weren't anything new Kuroko couldn't do before. He was seeking something beyond the typical maneuvers.
As a first year, Kuroko automatically started in the third-string. Freshman weren't generally expected to play in real tournaments, but only to act as errand boys and support for their senpais. It was the only true geniuses that worked their way up to second-string or even first-string. Although this year, there were surprisingly quite a few of these. The entire starting team was made up of first-years, even the captain was one. Murasakibara was part of the acclaimed famous prodigies' team, which Kuroko only found out about after a few good weeks. They never talked since their last match and neither approached the other, if Murasakibara even noticed Kuroko went to the same school as him. Kuroko found out about Kise the day of the opening ceremony, the hordes of fan-girls were a dead giveaway to his presence. The two of his one closest friends eventually built up reputations as legendary sportsmen.
Kuroko could've easily made first-string had it not been for his present state of mind, he was aware of this fact. Inside his heart remained the reluctance to play at full power as past memories continued to haunt him. So he decided, until he expanded his ability to work in a team, he would remain as a lousy third-string player. That was the strength of his resolve.
This meant of course, holding back during practice. It wasn't that hard, Kuroko was below-average in all basic fitness and skills and only shined during matches.
If ever in a practice match with much lower level players, Kuroko simply blended in the background using his ghost of a presence. But the funny thing is he was so used to being overlooked that it never even crossed his mind to use that as an advantage.
"Kuroko! Get over here, you're in," said a senior handling a clipboard.
Kuroko was already on the court, but that was just another typical day for invisible him. The members were having a match between the third-string and second-string players, a friendly battle that was mostly an excuse for the older students to show the freshmen the difference in their ability. Nobody expected the third-strings to win.
They seriously had picked the weakest of all the third-string players and forced them into a team against the best second-string guys. The world needed to know that fitness test results were unreliable and should be burned to ash, Kuroko thought this ruefully.
Despite that, to be honest, Kuroko was glad to be on the court again, even though he knew he couldn't reveal his true ability. It was frustrating definitely, but his patience led him to a great discovery.
Halfway through the match, with the freshmen losing badly and with Kuroko yet to touch the ball, an opening presented itself right in front of Kuroko's eyes. It was the slightest of openings that someone without any pronounced skill couldn't take, but for Kuroko it was no sweat. A senpai dribbling the ball happened to pass by him, and with such a clear opening, Kuroko couldn't help intercept the ball with a slight of hand. He didn't want to attract too much attention to himself though, so he scooped it to a teammate standing right beside him as soon as he touched it.
The boy caught the ball, alarmed at how it suddenly materialized itself into his hands. But he quickly recovered and shot a three-pointer in the opposite team's basket. The first-string guys were in an uproar for their first score in a while.
"Hey, nice steal, Hyougo!"
"Woah, that was a sick steal, man! Couldn't even see it!"
The boy who made the shot looked around in consternation. "U-uh, but I didn't…"
Kuroko blinked as it registered in his mind. They didn't notice my pass. With that, a theory was formed in his analytical head, but he had to verify it first.
"Excuse me," said Kuroko to one of his teammates. "Can you pass me the ball?" This time was different from all the other times; he wasn't planning on keeping it for himself.
When the pass came to Kuroko, his course of action was to keep the ball to himself as little as possible. The longer he kept the ball, the more attention he drew to his own existence. And that's what he was trying to avoid. Kuroko was attempting to become an invisible ghost on the court; a player that cannot be sensed cannot be seized.
It failed the first few times due to him holding the ball too long. But as the game ran its course, Kuroko resorted to simply not catching the ball at all, and instead, slapping it in the most ideal direction.
At the end of the game, the freshmen still lost. Kuroko's passes closed the gap a bit, but it mainly depended on the skill of the rest of the team. It didn't matter though; this eye-opener was enough of an achievement for Kuroko.
After the school day was done, Kuroko stayed behind in the fourth auditorium used by the third-strings to practice on a daily basis. He would start with a light jog around the gym, stretches, and a little solo practice so he didn't get rusty. The accuracy of his shots wasn't what it used to be, he was still unconsciously holding himself back. It was a silly thing, he knew it, but Kuroko was afraid becoming too good would make him a different person. So he worked on his passing technique.
He patted the basketball with his palm then closed his hand into a fist and rapped his knuckles against the surface. "I can't punch it… That would be against the rules."
"So I can only slap it." He bounced the ball against the floor and when it came back up, he used all the force of his palm to send it to the far side of the court. The impact left his hand red and stinging. "Ow." He tried to shake off the pain as the ball rolled to the wall on the opposite end. Aim needed work, and power especially could stand for improvement, which Kuroko very much lacked. And also reducing the amount of pain he caused himself was an important point to work on.
It was hard practicing passing by yourself, but Kuroko worked hard late into the evening every day. After normal practice at the club was his personal training schedule, it was also the only time he could indulge himself in showing off his own skills. But no matter how hard he tried, Kuroko couldn't get out of the rut he seemed to be stuck in.
That is, until he met Aomine.
A recently made first-year member on the starting team and he was already pronounced the ace of Teikou basketball. His name was famous all around school, even to those with no interest in basketball. Kuroko went to watch him play before, out of a fellow player's curiosity with high expectations gathered from rumors. Kuroko wasn't one to believe in rumors, but needless to say, those rumors must have been under-exaggerating. He was not disappointed, or more accurately, it was more than Kuroko could've expected. Aomine was nothing like Kuroko had ever seen before. He was incredible and his passion for the sport burned bright and hot.
Kuroko was completely captivated. The desire to challenge this extraordinary player clawed at him, but he knew he'd get obliterated with the state he was in now.
So with the match against Aomine lingering as nothing but a far-off dream, Kuroko continued his extra training, in hopes one day this struggling phase would pass. And that maybe someday he'd have the courage to approach Aomine.
Unexpectedly one night, his two wishes showed up simultaneously.
"Um… Who are you?" Kuroko cocked his head at the quivering back of the stranger, not noticing who it was at first, but seeing that dark skin and blue hair it became clear to him. "… Ah? Oh. Aomine-kun?"
It felt like some weird chance meeting made by some higher basketball deity. The most improbable part was Aomine actually wanting to sit down with Kuroko and talk to him. Dull, uninteresting, quiet Kuroko. And here they were, Aomine laughing and chatting away as though Kuroko was a good pal of his. The pale-haired boy never realized how little he tried to socialize since he entered middle school; he had been so preoccupied with basketball.
"So what's your name?"
Kuroko looked up, wondering why someone like Aomine would want to know his name. "… I'm in third string," said Kuroko cautiously. He was actually wary of Aomine's seemingly good-hearted nature; such an exceptional member of the starters had to come with overwhelming pride. Maybe Aomine wasn't the kind of player he thought; perhaps he was more similar to Hanamiya.
"Stupid, I don't care if you're first-string or third-string. You like basketball enough to stay for extra practice every night, right?" Aomine said with a bright grin, "If you like basketball, you can't be bad! That's my pet theory."
Kuroko was taken aback by his words, and not just by what was said, but how genuinely he had said it. This made him think back on Hanamiya, and whether he liked basketball or not. It was a truly naïve way of thinking, yet Aomine believed it as naturally as the theory that humans die without oxygen.
Kuroko couldn't find a reply to that as he fixed his stare on the other. Did it mean that Kuroko was wrong all along and Hanamiya was just bluffing? His fear of becoming someone he didn't want to be, this whole time, even reconstructing his way of basketball due to his worries. And then here comes along Aomine, a guy he met barely ten minutes ago, who completely blows everything away with a few simple phrases. But now that he realized it… Ah, that's right. Wasn't basketball always this simple?
A small smile crept on his lips. "That's a strange pet theory."
"What?" Aomine cried out, a bit disheartened at having his sole principle called strange.
"I'm Kuroko Tetsuya. Nice to meet you." He felt like a fool, worrying all this time only to have them whisked away by a basketball loving sap. It was a glimmer of hope Kuroko hadn't seen in a long time.
But Kuroko couldn't reveal his true self yet. He wasn't ready to go back into that competitive world. So he remained content acting as a shadow under Aomine's overwhelming talents.
One day though, he'd like to face off Aomine at full power.
They practiced again every day after that. Actually it was just Aomine butting into Kuroko's routine, but the pale-haired boy didn't mind it one bit. It was nice having company once in a while, even if he couldn't flaunt his true abilities while the other was around. Often, Kuroko found himself simply watching Aomine practice by himself when he wasn't looking. The taller boy played with such vigour and intensity that you couldn't help but respect it. Though it was a bit odd, there was this constant unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach that plagued Kuroko only when he was around Aomine. Not an unpleasant feeling or anything, but it was distracting nevertheless. Despite all that, Kuroko felt nothing but ease when Aomine's light shone beside him.
One time, Aomine caught Kuroko staring at him in a trance. Aomine turned to glance at him. "… Hmm? Something wrong?"
Kuroko felt his face grow warmer from sudden embarrassment. He was just caught staring like some mesmerized fan, which was not a usual happening for Kuroko. "… No." He hesitated for a moment before saying, "Aomine-kun, you're amazing."
"Huh?"
"Even though you're already so good, you still stay behind for extra practice…" Kuroko held back a smile. "You really have a one-track mind about basketball."
"Are you making fun of me?" Aomine cried out in slight desperation. "… Well, if you want to talk about being amazing, I think you're more amazing."
Kuroko blinked, assuming Aomine was saying that simply out of politeness. But knowing the earnest way Aomine says what he feels, it was difficult not to take his words to the heart.
He grinned in that way Kuroko enjoyed seeing all the time. "Let's stand on the same court one day, Tetsu!"
There was something about Aomine, who always knew what to say to leave Kuroko unable to come up with a proper response. Standing on the same court… that meant having to rise up to first-string and secure a position as a regular. It meant having to be near the same level as Aomine or Murasakibara, which would be impossible for normal people, but very possible for Kuroko.
Although he knew in order to play with Aomine on the same team, he would have to go back to his old way of basketball. Which Kuroko would've been unable to do so before, but now with the little confidence he gained from Aomine, it might have been time to step out of his shell. It was just as he believed; those who like basketball aren't bad people, and Kuroko loved basketball with all his heart, so maybe he didn't have to be afraid anymore. It was frustrating being a coward and wanting so badly to go all out in a match was tearing at him.
Playing alongside Aomine was nearly as good as playing against him. It should be alright now to reveal his true potential. There was a ranking test the next day and if Kuroko could prove his skills enough to advance to second-string, then standing on the same court as Aomine wouldn't be such an improbable fantasy.
Kuroko loved basketball, and he felt as long as Aomine was around, he wouldn't become the bad person he feared to be.
The day of the ranking test was filled with nerve-wracking tension and anticipation at the same time. The test was held after school, so during all his classes Kuroko couldn't focus because his mind was wrought with basketball. After today, he would no longer be the wallflower weakling in the third-string. He wondered what Aomine would say when he found out.
"Why didn't you tell me you were such an amazing player before, Tetsu? Come on, let's play a one-on-one, just you and me!"
It wouldn't just be playing with Aomine either, there were other incredible players on the starting team, Murasakibara for example. There was a chance of reconciliation with his old friend, which reminded him, he never got the chance to talk to Kise again either. Kuroko made a mental note to find Kise later and catch up with him. Of course, he says this now, but little does he know that he doesn't remember again until next year.
The test was right after the last bell rang, so Kuroko had to jog to the gymnasium and get changed before roll call. On the way to the locker room for the third-strings, Kuroko stopped by the water fountains outside to refill his water bottle and maybe splash some on his face to stay alert. He dropped his bags beside him once he reached the taps and leaned over the stone cut sink. There was so much going on in his head right now that a refresher would do him nicely. He turned on the tap and let the cool water run over his open palms before splashing it over his face, effectively drenching his bangs.
It was in that moment Kuroko was interrupted by a voice beside him. "Kuroko?"
The said bearer of name turned his head to look up at whoever called him. Near instantly, he recognized the face that continued to weigh guilt in his heart as the same words echoed in his ears.
'Sorry Kuroko… But basketball just isn't fun with you.'
'…I'm going to quit basketball.'
"…Teruyuki-kun."
The boy looked positively panicked as he stared wide-eyed at Kuroko. "You… went to Teikou? I never heard that."
Kuroko stood up straight with water still dripping from his face. "Yes… I never told you."
Teruyuki clutched the strap of his bag tighter. "Yeah… I should've figured you'd go to a school with a famous basketball club like this, huh?" He bit his lip, expression turning dark. "I originally chose this place because I wanted to continue playing basketball."
"You should." Kuroko piped up a bit louder than his normal volume. "Don't quit now."
The other laughed humorlessly. "It's ironic you say that because I almost quit because of you." He didn't notice Kuroko flinch. "… But I figured, I shouldn't let myself down because of one guy, and finally mustered up the courage to take the ranking test today…"
Kuroko stayed silent. Teruyuki's words were optimistic, but his tone was grave.
"… Though, seeing as you're here, it's probably best to give up early and save myself the trouble."
"… What are you saying?"
"It was my dream to play as a regular in Teikou." He turned around and began to walk away.
"Wait!" Kuroko leapt up and stopped the other from leaving, resting one hand on his shoulder. "It's not too late."
"That's easy for someone with natural born talent to say!" He snarled at Kuroko and pushed his hand off. "You don't understand! You could never understand what it's like always getting beaten at something you love!"
Kuroko felt his will wavering and past onus bearing down on him heavier than before, but he trudged on. "It's true, I don't. But that doesn't mean you should give up on what you love. I love basketball too."
Teruyuki had water welling up in the corner of his eyes. "I worked really hard in elementary, always staying for hours after everybody else went home. All to perfect my jump shot, which I did. But I never even got to touch the ball because of you."
There was an ugly feeling forming in Kuroko's stomach and it wasn't stopping.
The other hung his head low. "… Now there are all these so-called prodigies like you. What are the chances of a normal guy like me getting in?"
"It doesn't matter what string you're in. Even if you don't make first-string, you can still play basketball, that's what matters."
"I probably won't even make it to second-string…" There were tears running down his face now. "That's reality, there's nothing you can do if you're not made for it."
He wasn't listening to anything that was being said to him. But Kuroko just couldn't give up on his former teammate yet. "Regardless of the strings, don't you feel happy playing basketball? … I know what it's like to want to quit -"
"Shut up!" Teruyuki thrashed his entire body so violently that Kuroko thought he was going to hit him. "You don't know shit! I'm useless as a player, don't you get that?"
"You're not -"
"Oh yeah?" He interrupted, knowing full well what Kuroko was about to say. "If I'm not, then tell me, Kuroko. Why didn't you ever rely on me in our games?"
Kuroko opened his mouth on a reflex but no words or sounds flowed out. As much as he wanted to say something, anything, he didn't know what. His mind drew a complete blank, all the saliva in his mouth seemed to have dried out. The most troubling thing was he knew the answer, but he didn't want to say it.
"I'll tell you why," answered Teruyuki in favor of Kuroko. "Because I'm a fucking screw up. My skills are shit and I'm unreliable. We had a higher chance of winning letting you score alone, even the coach said so. He forced us to fall back and leave everything to you."
Kuroko never heard of that. His teammates were forced to remain passive during the games?
"You haven't changed, Kuroko. You're still the same solo player as before." He sneered, finally having stopped crying. "We'll see how far you get with that selfish style of yours."
Teruyuki stomped off by himself and this time, Kuroko didn't bother to follow.
He felt his body tremble as he willed himself not to break down right there. Everything he did, everything he strived to achieve and redeem, it was all for nothing. In the end, he was exactly the kind of person he hated to be. Aomine was wrong, Kuroko was a bad person. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have let his former teammate walk away with a tear-stained face.
Kuroko ended up not going to the ranking test that day. He almost skipped his daily practice session with Aomine too, but he figured he owed it to the other to at least break the news to him.
When he walked into the auditorium, the first thing he saw was Aomine's eager smile. "Oh! Hey, you're late. There's hardly ti -"
The smaller boy said nothing and stared at the floor with downcast eyes.
"Huh? Are you going home already?"
"… Aomine-kun."
"…?"
He needed to tell him. It was too much for Kuroko to bear anymore. "I'm thinking… about quitting the basketball team."
The utter shock in Aomine's eyes was more than he was expecting. "What? Why?"
Kuroko knew no plain way of explaining himself, so he settled with lying in hopes he'd let it slide easier. "Like I thought, with my skills, I probably won't even make it to second-string, let alone be able to play with Aomine-kun." He was stealing the words of someone else, and he hated himself for it.
"I like basketball… but, I've been on the team for half a year… I guess there's nothing you can do if you're not made for it." His voice came out so fluid, probably because before he came here, the previous conversation kept repeating itself in his head. "On top of that, here at Teikou middle school, I don't think I can be of any use to the team." The last thing was the only part that was true. A player who only thought of himself and couldn't help hold his team together wasn't part of the team at all. He would only be a burden and make everyone hate him again.
"In a team, there's no such thing as an unnecessary player."
Kuroko widened his eyes, startled by the outside intrusion in his train of thought.
"Even if you can't play in matches… There's no way that a guy who stays behind later than the first-string – later than anyone else – is completely useless." Aomine had a dead serious look. "At least for me, watching you like that made me respect you, and made me want to work harder."
Kuroko lightly furrowed his brows. Why it is that Aomine always knows what to say, but when Kuroko was told the same thing before, he froze up. But he supposed that's what made Aomine the better player. He knew what it meant to work with people, to say the right things when you needed it the most. And here Kuroko was, getting consoled when he wasn't the one who needed it.
"I'm not going to say you can do it for sure if you don't give up. But if you do give up, there'll be nothing left."
Teruyuki should be the one hearing this. Maybe if Kuroko had said it, it wouldn't have turned out like it did. But Kuroko was unable to connect with a person, that's why he was always by himself. Unlike Aomine, who was so vibrant and outgoing, his light crashed even into Kuroko's dull life like a storm.
It was impossible for Kuroko to match up to a player like him.
"Aomine."
Both Kuroko and Aomine turned toward the entrance at the sound of a new voice. It was a red-head Kuroko never saw before, and behind him was a tall guy with glasses. Trailing right beside them was none other than Murasakibara. The purple-haired center caught sight of his old friend and they made brief eye contact.
"Who's he?" It took Kuroko a second to realize the red-head was talking about him.
"Oh… I always practice with him. His name is Tetsu."
"Hmm? Did we have a guy like this on the team?" Murasakibara questioned, for he wasn't even aware that Kuroko attended the same school as him.
"He's not in first-string. Still in third-string," said Aomine. At this, Murasakibara leered at the pale-haired boy with suspicion. Despite having beaten him, he knew Kuroko's ability was well above the third-string level. Kuroko's eyes gave away nothing.
"Hmm… Whatever then." Murasakibara wasn't going to inquire his former teammate's peculiar behaviour now, since he was already sleepy and the issue could rest for another time. "Hey, let's go already -"
"No… I'm curious about him."
Kuroko's skin prickled from the way the red-head ogled him like some piece of meat.
"Interesting… I've never seen this type of player." He said with a hint of amusement. "He might be hiding a talent... different from ours." The red-head said this last sentence with uncertainty as he studied the shorter with an apprehensive glare.
Kuroko widened his eyes.
He knows.
a.n/ Okay, I'm not one for cliff-hangers – if this even counts as a cliff-hanger – but this chapter was getting too long and I had to end it somewhere. Man this chapter wasn't that interesting, I'll have something better next time. By the way Teikou arc is not finished I did not intend for it to go longer than one chapter but it is so oh well. I got too caught up in Kuroko angst. Am I making Kuroko angst too much about basketball? Probably.
Also, you also might notice, all of Aomine's lines were taken directly from the manga. Yeah, no made up first meeting between them here. I was re-reading the Teikou flashbacks and noticed oh hey the original interaction could fit with my story well. So I worked with it while inserting my own AU of Kuroko's side of the story. I try to follow the canon somewhat because it makes my story look cooler.