Stef

I try to fall asleep- tomorrow is going to be a long, stressful day with Brandon's surgery. But I'm a mom and I can't stop worrying about my little boy. Not just the surgery although god knows I'm worrying about that. But he was a ball of nerves tonight, barely saying five words to any of us.

I decide to go check on him one last time, to tell him how brave he's been, how proud I am, how everything will be okay no matter what. I see the door cracked open and the light on and think, "Good, he's still up." I'm about to walk through the door when I hear voices and am glad one of the other kids had the good sense to check on him.

And then I see through the cracked opening that it's Callie and she is in his lap. Her arms are wrapped around him, his head is buried against her.

My first instinct, the cop instinct, is to bust in the room and ask them what the hell is going on, if they've been sneaking around under mine and Lena's noses. The more rational part of me, the part of my head that I owe to years of Lena's influence, tells me to calm down. Yes, they're clinging to each other but clothes are on, nothing illicit is going on in this moment under our roof. And to give them some credit, they're smart kids- if they were hooking up or whatever it is they do or have done, they would have the sense not to leave the lights on and the door open.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this with their history. Except I am. When Brandon moved back in with us after the accident, I got into the habit of checking both of their rooms late at night. Lena hated this- she said we needed to trust them. But I'm a detective, I investigate things, I needed to know what we were dealing with especially if we were going to go through with this adoption and make them siblings. And night after night, there they would be in their separate rooms. We've never caught them looking so much as mildly suspicious since shortly after my Dad's funeral. In fact, I've barely seen them speak to each other outside of family meals the past few months. We pretty much stopped worrying about it- god knows there's enough other things to worry about with our crew.

And so what I thought the whole thing had been was two hormonal teens who got caught up in a moment that was heightened by the drama of Callie's running away. And I thought like most teen infatuations, it had run its course. Callie wanted to be part of this family, a family that includes Brandon, she inched back toward Wyatt, Brandon was caught up in his recovery and the band.

I see her kiss the top of his head, he lifts up his head and kisses her nose. It's innocent...but it's not at all platonic. Ten seconds of glimpsing them through the door & I realize that I've majorly missed something or that they have been doing an Oscar worthy job hiding their feelings. No one who saw them would peg them as siblings or friends or anything but lovers. There's nothing awkward or tentative about the way they're wrapped up in each other. In fact, Brandon looks the most relaxed he's looked in months since even before he got injured. They look entirely comfortable being so close to each other. Which is a problem given that we're about to make them brother and sister.

But there's nothing I can do about this tonight. Brandon is having major surgery. The last thing he needs, the last thing I need right now, is an emotional confrontation about whatever is going on with him and Callie. And I'm too worried about tomorrow to decide if I should be angry or concerned or what with them.

I think about making some obvious noise so that they'll realize I'm awake, he'll stop hanging on his almost sister and she'll return to her room. But I hear their voices again and think I also need to get a sense of what the hell is going on here, what Lena and I will be dealing with. I'm so not the mom who listens to her kids' conversations but this one is different. This one could have a major impact on our entire family. So I back up out of the doorway, ensuring they won't see me, but stay close enough to hear their conversation.

"When did you decide to have the surgery? What made you change your mind?" I hear her ask him and I've been curious about this too.

"The day after we kissed, after that night in the kitchen and then in here, you know when we both realized we couldn't... and then go back to pretending like nothing happened," he starts confirming my suspicion that something has been brewing under the radar. "Well, I did a lot of thinking after that and I realized that I have fallen crazy, madly in love twice in my life. Once with you." There's a pause and I know that they've somehow melded even closer together now. "And before you, with piano when I was 8. And I just thought, I can't live without Callie and without piano. And not keyboard with the band, real piano, the way I used to play. And once you're adopted, once we're brother and sister officially, I'll need piano to make me feel alive, to give me a reason to get up in the morning even though we're never going to be together. And I mean I just miss it. I miss it so much. And this, unlike us, is totally in my control and so since there's something I can do about it, I have to do it."

I almost stop breathing for a second as it hits me that this is so much more than the teenage infatuation and hormones that I had labeled them as months back. He's putting her on the same level as piano. With Brandon, that's huge.

It's silent for a moment and then I hear Callie telling him, "Don't worry about tomorrow, ok? This is going to work. Do you know why? Because you deserve to be happy. More than anyone. You deserve to have everything you want. I am so sorry I can't give you everything you want. I want to. And if we met in some other universe where I didn't need your family so much, you know I would... Ok, but this surgery is going to work. Because it has to. And you're going to play again and you're going to blow me away just like you did that first time I heard you in the music room. And that's just what has to happen. So you're going to fight and your hand is going to be better than ever and everything is going to be fine."

And then she murmurs, "You're so brave, do you know that? You amaze me." I realize that she's told him everything I was going to tell him. And then some. He didn't need me tonight. Callie's calmed him down and has him ready for battle tomorrow.

And then I hear him say, "If I'm brave, it's because you made me brave. From the day we met."

It's quiet then and I steal a glance back in and they're hugging each other like the world is ending. They're killing me. Five minutes ago, I was ready to burst into Brandon's room demanding explanations and now they have me almost weeping outside the door.

She is so much like me that it amazes me that we share no DNA. She is already my child, as much as Mariana is or Brandon is- and she owns her own piece of my heart. She is so strong and tough as nails and she just does what needs to be done for the people she cares about. It's why I connected with her that first night when we got Jude out of that hellish house. Brandon needed her tonight and so she put the rules that she's been trying to so hard to follow aside and she gave him what he needed, as much as she possibly could.

And he, again proving that DNA is not all powerful, is so much more like Lena than me or Mike. Thoughtful and passionate and a little idealistic. Always putting others above himself and able to so clearly articulate without hesitation who and what he loves most. She's right- he is brave.

And then it hits me like a mack truck. She's me and he's Lena. They're a perfect match. My daughter and my son.

I didn't see it before. When he angrily declared they were in love after she ran away, I thought okay he is reacting strongly because his parents have never told him he couldn't do something. Because he so rarely tried to do anything but the right thing that would please everyone around him. I thought he was being petulant. And she was a beautiful, broken girl who was clinging to the first boy who made her feel safe and valued. The forbidden aspect made it exciting, dramatic. It seemed like something that should and would fade in a few months time and they convinced us it had.

But it clearly hasn't. They've just tried so damn hard to put themselves into that brother and sister box, to not break rules. It's different, but not so different, from how I fought my feelings for Lena. I was married; I tried to stay in the married box until I couldn't.

They're never going to be brother and sister. This I know after observing them for all of 6 minutes tonight. Even if what they have isn't a forever thing, it's something real and huge for both of them and because of it, they're never going to be able to really be brother and sister. And where does that leave us with this adoption? Robert finally signed the papers...we got them today...

My brain which is racing 100 miles a minute is interrupted when I hear, "I needed this, Callie. So much. Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed. Good night beautiful."

"You're throwing me out?"

"I need to sleep before this surgery tomorrow."

"I know. I can stay just this once. We can just go to sleep together. And I can slip out before anyone wakes up. Just tonight."

"That may be the most tempting offer I've ever received. But then I won't sleep. I'll just watch you sleep. I'll probably start writing a new song in my head about watching you sleep. And that all sounds amazing but just...with the surgery."

"How do you manage to be so sweet even when kicking me out of your bed?"

With that, I tiptoe back to our room before she comes out and trips right over me. There's so much to process, so much to think about, hard conversations to be had. But first, we have to get through this surgery.

I don't sleep a wink that night.

Instead, I just watch Lena.

The reviews are so appreciated. Please keep them coming. I'm dying to know what you guys thought of this chapter since it was a narrator change. I was back and forth on whether to keep the perspective solely with B&C but I thought it was important to get into Stef's head as she really sees them for the first time.