Author's Blurbs

How's everyone doing? I arrived here at Fort Bragg, and I am amazed at the amount of free time I have to do stuff. It's a total change from AIT, and I am enjoying the freedom. I have, of course, discovered the internet café, which is allowing me to upload this update. I'll try to keep the chapters short, but interesting, mostly because I only write when I reach a roadblock on my own story, or when inspiration strikes me.

I'll also try to keep a regular update schedule, and I certainly enjoyed the support. The offer for a proofreader to my own original story still stands, but only if you have a high tolerance for pain.

Please feel free to send me reviews, cash, first born children, sisters' telephone numbers, and anything else pertinent to this story. I, of course, do not own Bleach. I wouldn't be in the Army if I did, crawling through dirt and catching grenades with my teeth.

Oh, last and final note. I have been using the powers of Wikipedia to find spelling and plot points, but if anyone notices something totally not right, please feel free to neuter me via email.

Chapter 5: Death in Tight Pants

Kurosaki Ichigo continued to pet Yoruichi, his hands gently running the full length of the cat's body again and again, delighting in the inexplicable pleasure that resulted from the contrast of callouses and soft fur. He found himself strangely relaxed, not nervous at all at the prospect of his imminent death upon the eventual awakening of the cat. A small, hidden part of him wished that she really was his pet, because this simple act had calmed him far and beyond what he had expected. For once the nagging guilt of his mother's death took a back burner, and the never ending voice of his inner hollow ceased to be as loud. All from merely petting a cat. Well, Yoruichi was actually an attractive woman, but when she was in this form, Ichigo found that fact easier to ignore. Even thinking about doing what he was doing now to her human form was enough to turn him beet red, his heart doing back flips in his chest.

Suddenly Yoruichi's upper lip twisted in a silent growl, and a nervous Ichigo nearly dropped her out of surprise. Way to go, he thought wryly when he realized she was still unconscious, drop her on her head, Ichigo! That's the best way to wake up an unconscious cat– woman. Woman-cat. Whatever. She must have just been having a dream...nothing to freak out about.

The black cat remained ignorant of his near accident, continuing to growl at some unseen assailant, the tiny paws moving in a paddling motion, as if chasing something. Wonder what she is dreaming of...Ichigo smiled a bit. It was kinda cute, in a way. This rare insight totally offset his normal view of the woman, who usually portrayed such a cocky and omnipotent attitude to everyone around her. It was nice to see that even this mysterious woman had faults and embarrassing traits.

She gave a particularly strong jolt that also had Ichigo jumping, before relaxing with a long shuddering sigh, snuggling a bit further into his lap. What IS she dreaming of? Ichigo wondered again, starting to feel a bit worried. He allowed his hands to linger on her side, feeling the rise and fall of each breath, the slight beating of her heart, lending her his silent support in the only way he knew how.

"I'm sorry, Yoruichi, but I am breaking it off between us." Kisuke said, sorrow filling both his eyes and his voice.

The purple haired woman didn't even attempt to hide the pain in her expression, barely managing to choke up her response. "Why, Kisuke?"

"You deserve so much more. Someone who can love you as whole-heartedly as you love. Someone who treats you with the reverence that befits you. Someone who can give you what I can't."

Yoruichi couldn't understand it. What was he saying? She had sacrificed so much to be with him. Given up her position, rank, and social status. All for him. True, she had tired of such a life, and the path of a fugitive was far more interesting, but it didn't stop the occasional pang of loss and loneliness she sometimes felt.

The very shop they were in now was a result of their partnership. He had always dreamed of setting up a shop, dreamed of a simple life, something being the owner of a simple grocery shop would afford him. And it would allow him to continue his work. So, when coming to the real world, they had worked hard to set up this establishment, but they had worked with a smile on their faces, for they had each other and that was enough. Or so she had thought.

"Stop speaking in riddles, Kisuke." She said, using anger as a shield to her breaking heart, "Why would you do this to me? I thought...I thought everything was wonderful between us."

"It was." Kisuke said, moving closer to Yoruichi, arms going out reflexively as if to comfort her, before obviously deciding against it. "I can't explain it, but I don't think I am your type. We are fighting an uphill battle. I am, and always will be, one to place his work above all else. I just can't help myself. Someone as beautiful as you," he reached up, allowing his thumb to trail the curvature of her cheek, " deserves someone who can properly reciprocate what I cannot."

She slapped the hand away. "Fine, Kisuke, if this is what you want. I'll give in. It's over between us." She then turned sharply on her heel, storming out of his shop, hurrying to get away from him before the first of her tears fell.

"Ichigo, are you ready yet?" Rukia's voice interrupted his silent vigil over his one-time teacher. "Come on, we're going to be late for school."

In that hectic moment, Ichigo mastered the ability to travel faster than the speed of light; managing to set the cat down, jump to his feet, and grab his backpack in the same motion, ending with the perfect pose of innocence as Rukia opened the door and walked in.

"Yeah, I'm ready!" he said a bit too cheerfully, rubbing the back of his head in his nervousness. No way was he going to allow Rukia to witness such a moment of weakness. She would tease him unmercifully for weeks if she had seen his indiscretion, and the last thing he wanted was to start a war with her...mostly because she usually won.

Observant eyes looked between both Ichigo and Yoruichi, instinctively sensing something was amiss. When her senses could detect nothing, she gestured towards the door. "Come on, our friends are downstairs waiting. Yoruichi will be fine, though I don't think you'll be fine when she wakes up and you come home."

With a nod, he followed her out the door, managing one brief glance at the cat. He didn't hit her that hard...did he? Sweet dreams he wished her silently, though he felt absolutely silly for doing so.

Shaking his head, he shut the door and chased after Rukia, ready for another hectic day of school.

"Yoruichi, are you okay?" The softly spoken words were the first thing to jolt the unconscious woman back into the grips reality; the sensation of being shaken lightly, expectantly. Of course she also felt the same familiar tinge of sadness that everyone feels the first few moments of awakening from a dream. Perhaps it was the mind refusing to believe that the seeming reality was nothing more than an illusion of sleep; or maybe it is regret of what once was or could have been, but whatever the reason, it didn't stop the ache in Yoruichi's heart from being so very real.

The few seconds passed quickly, and as Yoruichi's senses became attuned with the real world, she was rudely made aware of a few glaring problems with her current state. One, her head hurt like hell. It seemed to throb with pain in time with her heartbeat, with each sharp spike feeling like her skull was being split in two. But pain was nothing new to her, considering her previous profession.

No, what really got her attention was the fact that she was comfortable. Really, really comfortable. "Yoruichi?" The voice inquired again, once again breaking her forcibly from her comfort zone. Leave me alone she pleaded silently, enjoying wherever it was that she was.

"Wake up! I know you're not sleeping! What are you doing in Ichigo's bed?!" This time the voice was about as subtle as a heart attack.

That got her attention, and she opened one eye in anger. Sure enough, it was the ever persistent and self-proclaimed heart-throb, Kon. The modified soul, complete with his yellow stuffed bear body, was squatted over her, no doubt enjoying his temporary position of power. It wasn't often that a doll got to lord over someone, after all. Well, Yoruichi couldn't allow this to go by unpunished. "For a stuffed animal, you sure make a lot of noise." She said smugly, standing up on shaky legs. The world seemed to spin and it was all she could do to calm the strange sense of vertigo and not tumble down in what would no doubt be an undignified heap. Which was the last thing she wanted someone like Kon to see.

"Stop dodging the question!" Kon countered, pointing an accusing finger at her, "What're you doing here? This is my house!"

Though she was grateful the loudmouth modified soul was too ingratiated with what he was saying to notice her bout of weakness, she couldn't continue to allow him to continue his unending stream of accusations. She was Yoruichi Shihoin, damn it, and she did have a reputation to uphold.

"Will you shut your mouth? Last time I checked, this isn't your house. You're just here because you have some weird fetish for Rukia, and you hope one day the planets will align, giving you a chance to sleep in her bed. Plus, if you want to get technical, you're in his bed too. Which would make you a hypocrite, at best, and no doubt a pervert at least."

Her little diatribe seemed to stun Kon, and he just stared at her for a few seconds, his bottom jaw moving a bit as he tried to process what she just said. "Y-yo-you didn't have to be so mean!" he finally fumed, flopping himself down with his back towards her and crossing his arms, no doubt sulking over her admittedly harsh words.

She ignored his tantrum, "Speaking of which, where is Ichigo right now?"

"Probably at school." Kon pouted a bit, allowing a few seconds to pass as he mulled over something, "It gets kinda lonely here, ya know. I think we should make up. I'll forgive you, 'cause you were left here too, like me. We should find something for us forgotten ones to do! We don't need their help! Yeah!" He jumped back on his feet, now totally absorbed in his rant, "Isn't that right, Yoruichi?" No response. "Yoruichi?"

He turned around, only now noticing the now open window, and the suspicious lack of a certain black cat. His face fell. "So mean..." he mumbled a bit, before looking up with a devilish grin on his face, "Alright then! I don't need her either! Kon is a one man army! I got this!"

It was only a mere hop away for him to reach the window but the view point was enough to make him question his resolve. "Why does his window have to be so high?" he lamented out loud to no one in particular.

With a shrug, he started slowly climbing down the drainage pipe.

Damn that Ichigo! Yoruichi hissed under her breath as she ran along the telephone wires, appearing no less than a black blur to any would-be observers. She was annoyed at herself a bit, for managing to let the boy out of her sight on the very first day of her self-appointed watch. But what pissed her off more was now she remembered how she got to be on his bed. Hit me with a reiatsu reinforced baseball bat, huh? I bet he didn't even realize he was doing such a thing, either. That moron.

She didn't know if it was possible to wring someone's neck with only two paws, but that wouldn't stop her from turning into her real form and doing it if need be. She couldn't wait to get her hands...err...paws on the kid.

Someone was going to pay.