I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

The Hardest Decision

Riku stood just outside the kitchen, observing and debating. In his hand he shakily held the violet-colored crystalline charm that he'd labored over for weeks. All morning he'd been thinking of how to give it to her, how best to ask her to wear it. Part of him was truly worried that she would reject his gift; she so often rejected his request to bring her home, and he was nervous she might not want anything so binding or sentimental. Needless to say he was also self-conscious of his amateur handy-work. The carving looked fine, but of course his critic's eye wouldn't let him see it that way.

He peered in from around the wooden frame of the door to see almost everyone sitting at the table eating breakfast. He was the very last one up today; even Keiya had beaten him to the common rooms. She was standing at a counter, pouring juice from a large pitcher, avoiding the crowded eating area like the plague. The morning bustle and chatter had increased tenfold since their plans had changed.

There were just eight days left now—eight days which should have been eleven—and although no one had starting packing yet, the whole house was frantic with preparation. That only made it worse for Keiya, he knew, but she hadn't complained about it yet. She'd begun helping Aerith and Leon chart different travel courses for every possible emergency scenario, and while Riku was glad she wasn't staying locked up in her room anymore, he didn't like that she had to put on a false smile to chase off everyone's pity.

He glanced down at his necklace, his heart flying with excitement and nerves. He wanted her to wear it for him. He ran the silver chain through his fingers and traced the shape of the small, dainty heart one last time before dropping it into his pocket.

He swallowed back the anxiety, put on his best nonchalant, confident face, and stepped casually into the noisy morning chaos.

"Hey, man, where've you been?" Sora exclaimed immediately, through mouthfuls of food. "You're always up first."

"I went out early to run. I just got back," he replied calmly.

Everyone else said their hellos to him, Cid and Yuffie being the only other ones to comment on the time—almost ten thirty—and how it was the third day in a row he'd come to breakfast late. He just deflected every hit with a laid-back excuse—he couldn't have them know that he'd been spending his nights with Keiya, awake until the hours of the early morning.

"So you were jogging?" Sora scoffed in amusement. Riku raised an eyebrow to try and make everything seem more natural. "Why would you jog?"

Riku strolled over to the sink to fill a glass of water, at the same time maneuvering himself closer to his lover. "Because I'm not a lazy bum like you are."

He let his gaze wander to Keiya, a small smile unconsciously playing on his face. Her normally straight, obedient hair had recently acquired two slight waves in its length. To him, the curls made her look more vivacious; to her, he could tell, the change was embarrassing and annoying. She gave him a brief, amused grin, but didn't dare turn around and reveal her tinged face to the onlookers.

Because Riku couldn't spend much time with her during the day, he met up with her every night. They would go out, wander the shallow woods, and enjoy the quiet, magical blanket of the moon and stars. He could sit with her there against their favorite tree for hours and never feel the need to say anything. When it became too cold, they'd retire to her room and spend the rest of the night as lovers—kissing and touching and exploring the realm of desire—before falling asleep in each other's arms.

He tried not to pester her too much about the islands; he knew from the way she tensely, silently endured the travel discussions that it was always on her mind. They found ways to ignore the burden hovering over them: their time limit, the complex situation. They could ignore it momentarily.

Riku downed the glass of water as if he really had been out running and was now dying of thirst, but unbeknownst to him, no one bothered to notice. He continued to the other side of the kitchen—to the counter where Keiya was standing—and refilled the glass with the pitcher she'd been using. He purposefully caught her fingers on the handle, sending pleasant chills down her spine. A secret smile passed between them: a silent greeting filled with a blazing warmth and closeness. Riku's eyes were lit with light humor and simple, unchallenged affection. Being in the midst of unknowing faces had a sort of thrill that, while usually nerve-wracking, had its romantic flare. Keiya found it in herself to keep still despite her rushing heartbeat. She couldn't even feel herself breathe as she drank in the playful but sincere look painted on his face. Neither of them registered the strange silence that had fallen upon the room.

"Are you guys fighting again?" someone behind them exclaimed. Both hearts lurched at the forgotten attention. Riku turned around first, managing to withhold the blush from curious eyes.

"N-no, of course not," Riku assured the audience. "Why?"

"Uh, because you haven't said a word to each other," Sora pointed out mischievously. When it came to embarrassing his older, cooler, more mature best friend, he certainly didn't hesitate.

"What are you talking about?" he almost stumbled, a slight glare replacing his formerly gentle visage. He couldn't stand being made fun of—and by Sora, no less.

"Yeah, Sora. They were talking with their eyes," Yuffie threw in, giggling in delight. Riku turned several shades of pink and struggled to find some way to end the teasing.

"I saw her in the hallway this morning, so—"

"Yeah, yeah. We get it. It's more romantic not to talk."

Riku crossed his arms to his chest, rolled his eyes, and stubbornly sealed his lips, refusing to let them make (more of) a fool out of him. He'd tease Sora about Kairi later; if he did so now, he wouldn't look like the bigger person. Next to him, Keiya was attempting to ignore the whole conversation by cleaning off the dishes already in the sink. Her slightly wavy hair hung over her shoulders to prevent a side view of her most certainly flustered face.

"Well," started Cid, rising from the table noisily as his chair scraped against the floor, "time to get the day rolling."

As soon as one person was up from the table, it seemed everyone else slowly gravitated elsewhere one by one. Yuffie sighed dramatically toward the still blushing couple as she reluctantly followed Tifa and Cloud out of the room to go on patrol. Aerith, Leon and Kairi began making their way to the office, Aerith sending Keiya a discreet "okay" for her to lag behind a few minutes. (The latter girl further hid her pink complexion by turning away to dump the remains of a plate into the garbage.)

Cid would be the last one to leave, he and Leon being the overseers of the full house. He left his newspaper on the table at his usual spot and motioned for Sora and Riku to follow him for piloting lessons. Riku hastily nodded, trying to get rid of the stragglers so that he and Keiya could have a moment to themselves before the long day of preparations inevitably separated them. Sora gave Riku one last smirk before forcing himself to leave the room, still trying to linger as long as he could in the doorway before Cid pushed him out and down the hall to the garage entrance.

When all was silent, Riku let out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. They were relieved of the fiendish teasing by their friends for the time being. He strolled back over to Keiya, who was still standing before the sink, drying her hands on a towel.

"Alone at last," he commented, bringing his arms around her from behind. After pulling back her hair, he let his lips fall to her cheek and nip over the familiar curve of her jawbone. She smiled to herself and turned to hug him around the neck, allowing him to slide his arms firmly around her waist. "And good morning again," he added with a small smirk.

"We forgot again to say it this morning," she laughed awkwardly. "I was surprised everyone noticed this time, though."

He leaned in for a peck on the lips. "We'll be more careful tomorrow…"

She nodded and gently pulled him down into a kiss, her hands becoming lost in his silver streaks. As Riku's lips claimed control of the lengthy caress and her fingers delicately ran over the contours of his neck, his mind couldn't help but flash back to the way those small fingers had entangled themselves in his hair the night before. Her hands trembling as they traced over his face, feverishly clinging to his shoulders, helplessly digging into his back…

Riku pulled away, his lips lingering against hers for a moment. Their breathing blended into the serene quietude of the late morning. He was about to lean in for more, to satisfy his thirst just enough to get him through the day, but a crash coming from the garage area destroyed the opportunity. The couple jumped guiltily, afraid that someone would walk in and see them together. But voices just continued to echo through the hallway, obnoxiously rupturing the romance.

"We should probably get to work," Keiya suggested, turning to glance at the clock. Riku shook his head and stole her attention away before she could see how much time had passed, instead pulling her back into him.

"No, we can hang out a little while longer…" he stated convincingly, focused on the charm resting in his pocket. He'd already tried and failed at giving it to her that morning, (and why something so simple like this was difficult for him, he had no idea,) so he was determined to succeed now.

He smoothed her hair back habitually, smiling at the distinct waves that now rippled through the soft strands. Keiya's face heated and she defensively shrugged away from him.

"Don't laugh," she ordered flatly, bringing her unruly hair over her shoulder. It had been a long time since her hair had taken on its natural form. Before Maleficent had infused her with the darkness she so dreaded, she'd had a light, wavy pattern woven through the rich orange brocade. Sai had commented on it a few times when they were younger; it had always shown up whenever she was especially disobedient. But since her childhood, she hadn't ever really been as bold. She'd slipped into a slump after hearing of Riku leaving the dark forces for good—the one thing she'd wanted desperately. But now, living so carefree and enamored and as detached toward her darkness as she dared, the usually pin-straight streaks had reverted back to their wavy genetic physique.

"I think it looks nice," he said coaxingly, trying to bring her back into his arms. She ran her fingers through the mess thoughtlessly, probably an instinctive attempt to straighten it out. Riku placed his hands on her shoulders and relaxed her arms down. A self-conscious scowl was still evident on her face, but he couldn't hide his amusement. "Really—I like it. It's beautiful."

"Whatever," she sighed, trying not to blush. The last thing she wanted was for him to realize how much his opinion meant to her.

The clock ticked off the time second by second, minute by minute, creating more and more tension in each passing interval. Riku gazed at her anxiously and reached a hand into his pocket to reveal the thin silver chain. It reflected the morning sun's brightness from the second it peaked out of its hiding place. Looking back and forth between his paramour and the hand-made treasure he'd painstakingly fabricated for weeks, he decided to take a leap of faith.

She had her back to him, so he took quiet strides forward and leaned against the wall next to her. Seeing her so shy always provoked him to tease her—hopefully also lightening her mood, although the two goals rarely coincided. The combination of the sickening butterflies in his stomach and the pounding of his heart completely drowned out any good judgment battling for attention in his mind.

"So…" He caught her attention with a smirk, nerves still buzzing obnoxiously through his body. "Is it because of me?"

"What?"

"Your hair," he teased, twirling his fingers around a strand. "Is it because you're so in love with me? That's what Aerith said."

She smacked his hand away in annoyance, only earning herself another laugh from her beau. She crossed her arms tightly to her chest. "Can you quit making fun of me?" she reprimanded, trying to break through his confidence.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," he said, dropping the lousy and ill-timed attempt. His palms were sweaty with stress; he couldn't think straight or formulate a decent sentence. Okay, idiot. Just shut up with that now… He tried to swallow down the tension, his hands unknowingly clenching into fists in an attempt to defeat the fluttering nuisances. What if she just rejects me? Rejects everything? Then there's almost no chance she'll agree to come home with me…

The clock chimed in a new hour, alerting them to the fact that they'd been stalling for twenty-five minutes. That was much too long—they only ever took five, maybe ten minutes for themselves before starting on the day's work. There were bound to be interrogations.

"We really need to go now," Keiya pointed out regretfully, already walking away from him. "I'll see you later, okay?"

He nearly stumbled over his next words. "No, ugh, just wait one second!"

Don't mess this up.

He caught up with her quickly and took her hand to keep her from wandering off. She gave him a questioning look, still peeved and flushed with embarrassment. She was sorry she'd gotten so touchy all of a sudden—after all, he was always messing with her—but once she started, it was impossible for her to stop. And the fact that someone could tell so easily—and with just a brief glance!—that she was different on the inside completely tore her from her comfort zone. She longed to escape just as much as she longed to be with him.

"We're almost half an hour late, Riku."

"I know. Just give me one more minute…"

Shoving back his severe nerves and ignoring the second-thoughts, he freed the necklace from the confines of his pocket and, not really sure how to proceed, gently upturned her palm to place the offering into her hand. He dropped it carefully, not letting go of the chain until it was safely delivered beneath her curious eyes.

Already, she could feel the blood begin to rush to her face. "U-um, what is this…?"

"It's for you. Just something I've been working on," he degraded hastily, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. He forced himself to keep breathing and tenderly enclosed her fingers around the delicate piece of jewelry. The more he stared at it, the more anxious he felt.

She opened her hand again anyway, wanting to get a better glimpse at the mysterious treasure. Sitting atop the small coil of chain was the sweetest, most unexpected gift she could imagine. The tiny, prettily cut heart shone simply but radiantly as it captured the light. Its violet complexion was heightened by the sun's rays, giving the piece a lighter, livelier hue. She stood overwhelmed, admiring the jewel and trying to recover her lapse of speech. She'd never received anything before; she didn't know how she should react.

Riku waited restlessly for her acceptance or refusal. The world seemed to spin every which way around him, leaving the two of them in a dizzying standstill. He watched as her eyes lit up with the reflection of the rock's vibrant gleam, and still found the means to smile.

"I-it's… beautiful, Riku. Amazing. I can't believe you actually made this," she said softly, fully aware of the color on her cheeks. "But…"

"But"?

His heart sank. Is she going to give it back? he panicked. What if she's being nice because she's going to turn me down? Riku teetered on the edge of a cliff with nervousness, trying to decipher her response. Heat nevertheless rose to his face at the praise. Just ask… Come on… It's not even that big a deal…Of course she'll say "yes"—we've been together for weeks… he tried to convince himself. Just ask again, before she can say anything else. After an internal prayer and a brief surge of confidence, he jumped right to the question.

"It's really not that great, but I was hoping that… maybe… you would wear it for me?" He automatically scratched his head again, not able to conceal the trembling any other way.

Keiya swallowed shyly and hesitated before meeting his gaze. Her heart was racing with excitement and flattery, though a smile failed to glow past her lingering doubt. It was too unexpected; she had no idea how to reply. She looked down at the glimmering, well-formed crystal. It displayed hard work and days of disciplined patience—she didn't want to take so much away from him. How could he not want to hang onto it, after the hours of tedious labor? She didn't want him to think she needed extra attention or jewels—it didn't seem fair to her. And she just couldn't accept a gift so grand.

"You really don't have to do this," she demurred, holding the heartfelt charm away from her, within his reach. Riku's stomach dropped and his blood ran cold, but still at top speed. After a moment of solid shock, he shakily reached out to take it from her. The stone still radiated its charm and vivaciousness, but even that was not enough to cut through the mutual discomfort.

The standstill in time slowed down further as a silence occupied the space between them. His body now unconsciously concentrated on hiding his disappointment. When he found the courage, he questioned, "W-what do you mean?"

"You made it. You should keep it…" she suggested, meaning well.

He shook his head almost defensively. "No, that's not why I—"

Suddenly, a door slammed with a vibrating echo through the hall. Keiya glanced back apprehensively, the distant murmurs tugging her away. Footsteps sloppily approached their momentary haven, and she stepped backward, leaving his side. Her eyes were still locked with his, but she was utterly at a loss of what to say.

Riku's heart hammered as disaster closed in on him. His gaze shifted between her and the hallway, where unwelcome company was rapidly coming to separate them.

"We really have to go…" Her expression was unsure and afraid. He could sense the guilt in her voice—guilt for having to leave him hanging. All he could do was nod in pretend understanding. She walked toward the door, then excused herself, "I-I'll talk to you later, Riku, okay?" and in a few seconds, she was gone.

Riku was still standing there dumbfounded when Sora barged into the kitchen, swinging the door open without regard to the discussion than had been going on just moments before.

"Riku, what are you doing? Cid's been waiting for you for over half an hour!"

"Sorry… I got caught up. I'm coming," he said, trying to erase the gloom from his face. His feet began moving forward despite his total brain freeze. He felt like he'd just come crashing from a great high; nothing seemed to be worth a smile anymore. Languidly, he dropped the necklace back into his pocket and tried to forget it existed.

She didn't like it. She didn't want it.

Sora smirked and stepped in stride with him. "Caught up making out?"

He shook his head solemnly and continued the trek to the garage without a word of retaliation. Everything had been going so perfectly for them, but with one question he felt that he'd messed it all up. He dwelled over the problem restlessly, fueled by the knowledge of the rejected gift traveling with him.

She was so uncomfortable… Maybe she thought that I was taking it too fast? Or maybe she thinks it's obligatory? Ugh, I should have told her that it's not… I'm such an idiot!

His mind spun as he and Sora descended the steep stairwell to the underground ship lot. Sora, sensing the cloud over his friend's head, had let him lag behind. Nothing else was able to seep into Riku's mind; all he could focus on was the miniscule weight of the forsaken crystal sitting in his pocket. With each step, he felt increasingly foolish.

I should have made myself clearer… She must think I was trying to bribe her or something! Why couldn't I just ask her smoothly? Then she'd have understood. Idiot…

~…~

The time was two days now, and Sai felt as though he would burst with excitement. He couldn't sit still, couldn't focus at meetings, and certainly couldn't hide a thin, sly smirk from creeping onto his face at the thought of his heartless crushing his comrade's (hypothetical) companion.

Things were as tense and monotonous as ever at the fortress. Meetings were held regularly, councilmen precariously vented their anger, he reported the urgency to his mistress, she remained unconcerned, and he was left to deal with the subtle threats by himself. Training had been a rarity the past few months, and lately it was non-existent. He was expected to train on his own so as not to lose his strength or discipline (or his position, but that went without saying). Maleficent also wanted him to read her strategy books—probably thinking they would suffice for experience, since there hadn't been any real action in a while—but he instead wandered the nooks and crannies of the old, high rising castle. He wouldn't dream of calling it "exploring"—definitely not; he was much too old for that now. But it did pass the time. It satisfied his natural urge to see all the handrails and balconies, every tinted window and corridor in the place he called home. After all, he finally had the rank, so why not take advantage of the benefits?

Today, though, he'd strayed a bit farther. A few worlds farther.

It was much livelier in Radiant Garden than it was on his world. The sun shone explosively and the cobblestone streets were filled with all types of people. Nothing on his fog-blanketed world burned brighter than the candle-light, and there were absolutely no civilians, let alone civilian facilities. There were roads that had once been in use, but they'd become so ridden with weeds and fallen branches that they blended right into the uninhabited forest. Nothing but the strongest of plants could survive the thick coat of fog and darkness that now protected Maleficent's stronghold. The weather ranged from cold and dry to cold and damp.

He wasn't the least bit worried about Maleficent finding out he'd gone on this adventure. She was too preoccupied re-perfecting her already infallible plans. (It was all just precaution, he'd been reassured.) So he freely wandered the charming and bustling town through the shadowy backstreets. He sported an everyday uniform of dark blue pants with a black, long sleeve fighting shirt, but wore over it a plain, green windbreaker to hide the insignia printed on his chest. He hadn't worn the jacket before; it was one of his "street outfits" that were to be used only for undercover missions. He hadn't been on one yet.

He stayed out of the way, keeping to the alleys and less-crowded side streets, but he took care not to look anyone in the face or draw attention to himself. He'd caused quite a bit of turmoil a couple months earlier during the first heartless invasion. Luckily, he hadn't been spotted on the second. The chances of anyone recognizing him were slim, but he'd learned in these past few months not to take things too lightly. Coming here so exposed was risk enough; he didn't want to make more problems for himself.

He eventually reached the outskirts of the marketplace area, coming face to face with a series of trails that wound up hills or led to different residential commonplaces and neighborhoods. The grey brick adorning the town's pathway system surprisingly didn't steal the warmth from the atmosphere. And he had to admit he was astonished as well as annoyed at how quickly things had been rebuilt. He'd torn this place to pieces only a few weeks ago.

He could see the old castle in the distance—Hollow Bastion. Its signature gold and pink outer décor rose up above the grey stone structures that made up the town.

I wonder if anyone's been inside recently… or if it still looks the same…

He couldn't see very far up ahead, but it didn't look like the upcoming paths contained any crowds. All the excitement was going on in the square; he didn't see anyone going toward or coming from the crumbling palace.

A quick look won't hurt. It's falling apart—it's not like anyone will be in there. And if someone is, I can take them out…

Casually, he proceeded to stride down the thin, winding path that seemed to lead to his former home. He didn't want to chance opening a portal for fear that someone might see him, but also as an attempt to test his self-control. He'd been very impatient lately what with his own plot's action date nearing. Losing control of himself could cost him everything: his position and his power.

Running into Keiya while in Radiant Garden was a very slim possibility which he dreaded. Seeing her might invoke his anger to precede his common sense, and he might drop his defenses and be seen—worst of all, be seen by her. And she would never return home then. He wasn't too worried, though, since she probably would be so obvious as to hide herself in their old home.

As he came to a drastic swerve in the road, he paused to judge whether or not he was going the right way. Hollow Bastion was entirely in the other direction.

I can just cut through these woods, right? I can see the castle from miles away—I don't need a road to find it, he scoffed.

Hands in his pockets, stride swift and assured, he confidently made his way into the forest.

~…~

I feel terrible now…

Keiya stumbled out the back door with a large pitcher of dirty laundry water which she dumped onto the nearest patch of grass. She'd spent a couple hours with Leon and Aerith, taking every possible space-catastrophe into consideration as they formulated maps, but she'd fortunately been excused from the depressing work to help out with house chores instead. She couldn't stand to hear about all the things that could malfunction in space. It was almost worse than what she dreamed about.

Everyone was breaking for lunch, but she didn't want to go in and face Riku again just yet. She knew she was being cowardly, but she couldn't look him in the eye after the morning's embarrassing ordeal. She'd thought she'd done the sensible thing, declining the extravagance, but she couldn't shake the disappointment she'd seen on his face. Had she done the right thing?

She didn't want him to think she needed pretty necklaces and other luxuries, and it felt strange to take something from him. She'd feel materialistic.

But he'd looked so troubled afterward; now she felt endlessly guilty, and she wasn't sure why. What was the big deal? He'd offered her something she most certainly could not accept—really, he couldn't have expected her to deprive him of weeks of careful and tedious labor. That was his project.

She peeked back in through the door to see into the kitchen. Everyone was gathered around the table, including Riku, whose usual smile and lively glow was missing entirely. He passively took a seat, nodding and making serious, unenthusiastic small talk with whoever spoke to him. Seeing him so saddened because of something she did was like a knife through her heart, but she didn't fully understand why he should be so upset. Was she so in the wrong?

He glanced around the kitchen, seemingly looking for something, and then inquired to Aerith a few words that Keiya couldn't make out over the chatter. But she realized shortly that, with everyone else present and seated, he was looking for her. She immediately pulled herself away from the door and leaned against the side of the house so he wouldn't see her. Now it was confirmed: she couldn't go in a talk to him yet. Especially not with everyone else hovering over their conversation. While she knew it would look worse for her and Riku with her taking refuge away from his company, she couldn't bring herself to join him under the curious eyes of his friends. She would deal with the questions later. Right now she needed to be away from all that commotion.

Instinctually, she began the descent down the hill on which headquarters was perched. The path was dear and familiar to her; it was the way she and Riku took to reach their "spot": the clearing that now housed their peach trees along with the stream in which she'd pushed him all those weeks ago. Nearby was another cherished cluster: the one to which she'd run off after the Behemoth attack on the Committee's house. She'd been ready to leave that instant, but he'd talked her into staying. She must have started falling for him then… No, she'd been falling long beforethat…

Eight days, she chanted to herself, her mind too numb to handle it healthily. As each day dropped off the calendar, she ate less and less, her nightmares became worse, her head further clouded…

It many ways, these were the happiest and most distressed days of her life. Being so close to Riku made each day worth the effort. She woke up next to him every morning and fell asleep next to him every night. She no longer had to conceal her feelings for him; she knew she could be completely open with him if she wanted, (though there were things she just could never bring herself to mention: the content of her dreams, the embarrassing secret she held that she wanted to forget…) Now that this invisible wall of qualms—which had been ever present during their friendship—was torn down, they could kiss each other, hold each other, and love each other freely.

But then there were the complications that hung over them, falling closer and closer with each sunrise. Tomorrow would be one week left with him. It amazed her to think that time could fly so fast, when while locked up in her room at Hollow Bastion time had never seemed to pass quickly enough.

She located their clearing without having to think and leaned against their tree, letting herself sink down to the grass.

When he's gone… what do I do? she wondered, not able to imagine returning to a life without him. She had nowhere to go, no way to earn a living… She'd already ruled out staying here with the Committee, (though Riku had tried on one occasion to extract that promise from her—just in case something "went wrong," he'd said. But when she'd refused, he had just sighed and stubbornly asserted that it wouldn't be necessary anyway, so it didn't matter.)

Roaming on her own had never worked out for her. She'd tried it dozens of times, but she'd always ended up going back to Maleficent's castle. She felt inevitably bound to that place, unable to escape it even while she was worlds and worlds away.

She huddled against the tree trunk, legs folded up and head resting wearily on her knees. That's where I'm going to end up. Back there.

A dire misery washed over her, completely unlike anything she'd ever felt before toward her "home". In the past, she'd always endured and accepted it; now, the thought of returning made her sick. To lock herself up willingly in that repulsive, bleak fortress was to destroy any chance of participating in or even witnessing outside life again. It would mean going back to being Maleficent's slave, tolerating Sai's greed and envy, enveloping towns in darkness—innocent towns just like this one. She knew that if she were to return now, almost three months after her initial departure, there would be horrid consequences. The usual tortures probably wouldn't even compare. But the definite punishments weren't what bothered her; it was the understanding that she'd never see him again for as long as she lived.

Everything that's happened here would be like one long dream… she thought, aggrieved by the prospect. I don't want to feel that way… I'm going to miss him so much, I can't even imagine…

Whenever he asked her to live with him, she felt like that was where she truly belonged. She couldn't envision a happy life anywhere else. It sometimes perplexed her that she even had this option: to follow the man she loved to his home and forget about all the terrible things in her life. It was a fresh start that she was dangerously eager to snatch up. Spending the rest of her life with him, leaving everything else behind… She'd be passing up the love of a lifetime if she didn't accept his proposal.

And at the same time, she could bring a dreadful, agonizing end to his home and his life with the danger of her presence. She saw it all happen in her dreams. Nothing was more straining and traumatizing to her than the images that poisoned her mind every night.

The life she could enjoy with her lover was dangling from a string in front of her, teasingly swinging in and out of her grasp, knowing of her reluctance to reach out a grab it.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and a familiar ache form in her throat. It's not fair… I want to go…

As usual in these deep, internal debates she held, the desperation was soon joined by impatience and frustration. She was annoyed with her indecisiveness—all hours of the day, she was being torn one way or the other, and it seemed like she was constantly moving backward instead of forward. Why can't I go? Would it be so bad? She wiped her eyes, hugged her legs tighter, and buried her head in her arms. Even though there was no one else in sight, she bit her lip to keep from breaking into a sob. Despite how accustomed she'd become to these helplessly mixed feelings, she could never keep herself composed.

Maybe I should just trust him… He says nothing will happen… she argued, wanting so desperately to take his word for truth, to try to forget the warnings her nightmares spelled out for her. Those are just dreams, she told herself. Nothing in dreams ever happens in real life…

Her emotions swerved back and forth, battling to make a final decision. She was caught up trying to justify the matter, to erase the guilt and selfish feelings that gathered in her chest whenever she thought of starting a new life—possibly at his expense.

Don't be stupid! she scolded herself. Dreams are dreams. And he says we'll fight if it ever does come to that… I'm not so sure we could, but… if I don't go, we'll be separated forever. I couldn't live like that.

Whenever she thought she'd made up her mind, doubts would start circling overhead again.

And if he did get hurt, I couldn't live like that, either.

Her heart was flying forward, ready to admit her overjoyed defeat to him, but her mind was still stubbornly trying to root her to the ground. There were pros and cons to either scenario—anything could happen. But which was the right choice?

~…~

Sai wouldn't admit to himself that he was lost. He'd been walking in the same direction for about an hour, but he still hadn't cleared the woodlands yet. Rather than calmly trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong—misjudging the size of the forest or walking on a slight slant—he walked brisker and harsher, unconsciously trying to get back at the woods for not getting him where he wanted to go.

Ugh, this is stupid! Couldn't these people have built trails or something? Why is it so hard to get there…?

Trying to hold back all the frustration only made him tenser. He was already riled up with the wait to ship his heartless in and do the real damage his mistress' plan wouldn't achieve. Getting off-course in the backwoods completely ruined his formerly positive attitude. He marched forward without wavering from his straight line. He was determined to get the better of this town's foolish, inconvenient geography.

He was so fixated on his perfectly straight path that he neglected to pay attention to his surroundings. Only when he caught sight of a bolt of orange hair did he snap out of his angry trance.

He stood at the very edge of a small, open patch of land, staring blankly at the weary figure resting limply against a tree. His heart stopped beating and his mind stopped working as he drank in the disquieting scene before him. She was right there in front of him, oblivious of his presence.

Sai couldn't feel anything but shock. His lips formed a tight line and his eyes were wide and startled. His senses became more and more disoriented with each passing second of the unexpected concurrence. He forced himself to breathe in heavy amounts of the fresh air, squeezed his eyes shut, and blinked a few times to make sure he was focused properly. Stay still, stay still… he commanded himself. Don't ruin everything…Don't let her see you…

It took all his strength to keep his breathing somewhat quiet, to stay undetectable. He had found her—after waiting all these weeks. It was exciting and terrible all at once. But as his thoughts gathered their bearings, the initial shock was replaced by a deep-running irritation. He was a restless ten yards away from her, yet he was forbidden to make any form of contact.

His eyes narrowed, troubled and unable to cope. Keeping himself together was a struggle; he felt as though he were being tested. His gaze was locked on his missing combatant's forbidden form. His hands formed tight, pale fists, one of them grasping a thin branch to keep his feet in place. The sharp, rough wood ripped his skin, delivering a bloody cut to his palm. But his utter exasperation drowned out the self-inflicted pain. A low, steady ring filled his ears, as the only other sound was a pestering silence. Stay still… It's not worth it…

He couldn't see her face, since he was standing behind her, but he didn't dare try to get a better view. He was curious enough to keep stationary, but he couldn't stop his body from becoming consumed by a fidgety impatience. His nails dug into the bark of the branch he was gripping as he bitterly took note that her usually even hair was interrupted by airy waves. He'd seen the rebellious strands float into their own shape every so often, but he'd never seen them as distinct as they were now. It downright chafed him that she had become so frivolous, and he urgently wanted to know why.

His body shook uncontrollably. He just stayed there observing her, wracked with disbelief and chagrin. She looked different from the last time he'd seen her. He couldn't place any of the other differences—just that she wasn't how he remembered. He tried to remind himself that this run-in could be absolutely detrimental to his plan, but he couldn't tear his eyes away.

After an unidentifiable amount of time, Sai heard an intruder approaching. He was automatically thrown into the defensive, instantly and quietly readying a blade he had handy in his belt. A pattern of crackling leaves and twigs a ways off in the forest formed an encroaching path. He waited one, two, three minutes, but no prowler came, so he lowered his weapon in relief. He dismissed it as a rodent's scurrying, cursing the wildlife for putting him on the defensive, until he heard a voice: a man's voice calling her name.

Everything seemed to happen too quickly after that. Keiya lifted her head to the familiar voice, acknowledging the fact that someone else—some guy—knew her. Internally, Sai was thrown into an alarmed and disturbed frenzy. His mind could barely process the idea to which he was being exposed. Wide-eyed and afflicted, he watched Keiya slowly pull herself up, though he was still not able to get a look at her face. She listened for the voice again before tossing her hair back, wiping her eyes, and setting off in the direction through which the stranger had already passed. Sai kept his eyes on her as she walked opposite the stranger's path, casually and sadly avoided her male caller. It would be his only source of comfort for the day.

The voice continued calling as it drifted further into the woods, and when it was finally silent again, Sai found the energy to release the captive branch from his desperate clutch. He stared at his bloody hand for a moment, unfazed by the sting. His skin was ruptured and stained with dirt and crimson. All he could think of was the voice he'd undeniably witnessed call out for his comrade. Agitation clouded his judgment. Shakily, he formed a fist again and slammed it into the tree as hard as he could. His breathing sharpened to fierce intakes and tormented yells as he furiously attacked the surrounding trees and boulders: the nearest things in sight that could absorb his rage.

He kicked and punched and cracked the august, resolute timber until his skin was splintered and pealed open. His wild anguish and strained cries of perturbation chased off the wildlife and broke the saplings, but no amount of destruction could erase the trepidation that now tarnished his naïve hope to which he'd clung. His world collapsed around him; he was being left behind.

~…~

Riku dragged himself up the last few yards of the hill to the house, exhausted and still burdened by his rejection. He'd roamed the entire wood looking for her, but had been surprisingly unsuccessful. It was the first place he'd thought to find her besides her room. Drearily, he pushed open the back door and staggered into the hallway. The day had proved to be exceptionally taxing.

He trekked down the hall to his bedroom and flicked on the lights with a yawn. After tossing aside some laundry, he plopped down on his mattress and tried to reinvigorate himself with the possibility that she might be in her room now. He wouldn't be able to relax until he spoke to her again—he just couldn't let the day end on such a disastrous note.

It was still early evening, but he decided to change and freshen up before looking for her. He needed more time to devise an explanation that would convince her to accept both of his proposals. And he certainly couldn't leave this drift hanging between them; if she strayed from his side during these vital days, he would never get over it. After throwing on a clean pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, he carefully scooped up his necklace from the nightstand and tucked it away in his pocket. Okay. Let's try this again…

Wanting to fix things as soon as possible, he crossed the hall to her room and raised his hand to the door. He froze, though, and tried to compose himself before diving right in. What if she just doesn't like it? What if it has nothing to do with the Islands at all? he thought dolefully, unable to shake the self consciousness that had made him sick with worry all day. He summoned up memories to drown out the apprehension: the genuine smile that lit up her face whenever they met in their forest; the way she curled up to him before falling asleep; the shy, pleasant blush that tinged her complexion every morning as they rushed to hide the evidence of the night's passion. She wouldn't care if it doesn't look good. Stop worrying, he chastised himself. Before any more second thoughts could try to dissuade him, he knocked three times on her door. She's already mine; she's not going to turn me down because she doesn't like a necklace… He reached into his pocket to make sure the jewel was still there. He traced its edges to reassure himself. But if that's the case, I'm going to feel so stupid…

From inside, he heard light footsteps shuffle on the floor. His heart began its nervous, excited pounding all over again, and he became eager to settle the mess and get things back to normal. There was a brief gap between her last footsteps and the turning of the handle. As soon as the door began a slow swing open, he straightened his posture and tried to look assured.

Calm down and don't make a fool of yourself.

Keiya felt her hand tremble as she opened the door. She'd figured he would come to talk to her, but she hadn't been able to decide how to act. Embarrassment still hung over her head; she wasn't sure if she'd been mean to him, refraining from taking his gift, but she certainly felt like she had. It was making her miserable. On top of that immediate dilemma, she was still back and forth with her future, overflowing with guilt at her longing to join him to a better life. Whenever she managed to push aside her haunting fears, they just tumbled back into her with the next dream or deliberation, always with ease, always as strong as before. She was tired of the thinking.

She met his gaze anxiously as the door opened. Seeing him so (seemingly) laid back helped her to relax a little, but nothing could silence the confusion screaming and burning inside her. She managed a quivering grin to try to appear nonchalant. Inside, she was expecting him to ridicule her earlier behavior. There was a brief silence before Riku gathered the means to enter.

"Hey," he said softly, a sheepish smile on his face. She nodded—momentarily speechless—and watched him turn the knob as he closed the door. Her arm was draped across her torso rendering her unapproachable, but Riku proceeded as usual to draw near to her. He placed his hands lightly on her waist, keeping just a little distance between them. The space felt weird to her; she was accustomed to him embracing her immediately upon entering with not much more than a playful smile as a greeting.

"H-hey…" she repeated. His gaze was gentle and steady, his body brimming with the warmth she lacked. She wanted to lean into him, but she wasn't so sure he'd be that accepting. Instead, she remained motionless, shivering from the combination of his waves of warmth and the outside's chilly breezes.

Riku groped for a way to bring up the topic again. She wasn't cringing away from him—that was a good sign. But he wanted to make sure he was perfectly clear this time. He didn't want her seeing him in a different light just because of this one awkward occurrence.

"So… how was today?" he asked stupidly, trying to lessen the gap.

She nodded with a nervous, stifled laugh and murmured that it was alright, grateful that he wasn't mad at her. She took a breath and smiled more comfortably, letting her head brush against his chest.

He moved his arms around her back in a loose hug and unintentionally breathed into her hair. "Um, about earlier…" he started, feeling her tense a bit. "With that necklace…"

"Riku…" She didn't really know what to say. She struggled to piece something together, but could only draw blanks. "I didn't mean to… I mean—"

"Just let me finish. I-I don't know what you're thinking, but… I wasn't trying to… well, bribe you or anything…"

She shook her head sharply, taken aback by his conclusion. "No! T-that's not what I thought," she exclaimed, deeply ashamed that she'd brought that idea to his mind. She tore away from him in alarm, her head downcast. "W-was that how I seemed? Sorry…"

He sighed heavily, tensely, and brought a hand to his head. "Oh, great… I shouldn't have said that…" he reprimanded.

Keiya looked at him inquisitively, her arms still recessively crossed, her mind still in a blur. Riku was still ill at ease contemplating before her, deciding his next course of action.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently, longing for some sort of redemption. The last thing she'd wanted to seem was paranoid or superficial. Riku shook his head. She watched him desperately search for the right words.

He tried to wave it away, but couldn't shake his own concern. "It's nothing. I just… I mean, do you not like it, then?" he asked quickly, apprehensively, ready to judge her reaction. He knew full well that this probably wasn't the best question, but he couldn't get it off his mind.

Her reply was immediate, accompanied by wide eyes. "N-no, of course I like it." Does he really think that? Did I bother him that much? she wondered shrinkingly. Her fears seemed to be coming to fruition.

Riku crossed that possibility off his metal list, his brain working at top speed to sort out his worries. She hadn't felt bribed, she hadn't disliked it… the only other situation he could think of was that he was taking things too fast. He didn't feel that way at all; he wanted some form of commitment—even just this small, trivial token. But as he processed the possible hesitation, he realized that they had known each other for a relatively insignificant span of time. The thought of her discomfort toward him was dreadful. I'm not… pushing her into a relationship, am I? The paranoia struck him hard. She would say something… And we've been together for weeks, so there's no way…

He couldn't bring himself to ask her straight out. With eight days left, there was so much at risk. Laboriously, he held back from pacing the wooden floors. The necklace felt like a million afflictions weighing him down with tremendous force. There was no way for him to turn back, though; all he could do was plunge ahead. "Then… why won't you take it?" he finally spilled out.

She blushed diffidently, her flustered gaze meeting his troubled one. "You don't need to give me anything, Riku…"

"…What?"

"I don't want you to think that I need… I mean, I don't need you to…give me…" she murmured timidly. Being honest was strangely making her feel small. The more she thought about her words and how much they'd troubled him before, the worse she felt. She continued, "It's not that I don't want it, but…"

She froze in her explanation, but as she continued picking apart her emotions, trying to put them into the least embarrassing phrases possible, she saw his face relax and save her the speech.

Riku sighed deeply, filled with relief, as his head began to clear. She doesn't understand… God, I'm such an idiot…

Admittedly, he often neglected to consider how sheltered she'd been her whole life. She hadn't had anyone to teach her how things worked outside her secluded prison. Even her brief escapes, he knew, couldn't have prepared her for the total immersion she was living now. She'd adapted well to this close-nit environment—so well that he sometimes forgot. Interacting with strangers was disquieting to her; even talking to his friends kept her alert. And compliments and gifts certainly weren't ordinary to her—of course she wouldn't know how to deal with such impositions. Things that seemed normal to him didn't always strike her the same way.

He bit his tongue to hold back a laugh and shook his head in humored understanding. Her declination wasn't meant to be insulting; to her, it was probably the polite thing to do. She was now watching him cautiously, armed with the slightly defensive persona she'd acquired to rebound his teases.

"I made it for you," he pressed urgently, stepping closer. The almost comic simplicity of the ordeal even erased the prior regret from his unrealized accusations. He let his hands rest firmly, confidently on her waist. "I want you to wear it."

She began to protest, "But—" until Riku placed a finger to her lips to silence her. Her eyes were wide and displayed in full every ounce of insecurity.

"It's kind of a… a going steady thing…" The words made him blush. "You know…?"

She watched him blankly, seeming to understand. "Going steady" was a term she had heard before—from Sai, since he was the expert on every-day lingo—but never had she thought she'd live it. The idea made her airy, wistful beyond her comprehension, even though they'd been together for weeks prior. The title added a new bliss to the courtship.

Riku took the necklace out of his pocket and held it out to her, his eyes strongly urging her to take it. Its liveliness had not diminished since that morning; she could still see the glimmers of light beautifully trapped in its center. She couldn't deny that she wanted to keep it. He'd hand-crafted the pendant for her—for her to wear as a symbol of their romance. That kind of material devotion did have a charm that was hard to resist… And she wanted to be marked as his… At his silent insistence, she slowly claimed the gift from his palm.

Her fingers slipped and wove around the thin chain as she delicately held it, too pleasantly bewildered to think of what to do with it next. She watched him smile triumphantly, but couldn't hold in a last, automatic demurral. "A-are you sure you want to—"

"I want you to have something from me… whatever you decide…"

And just like that, his words sent her crashing down into the depths of her mind. She nodded, gave an "okay" and a small smile, but inside her blood ran thick with agony.

Whatever I decide...

Riku gently took the necklace from her, letting his hand linger over hers momentarily, and then brushed her hair over her shoulder.

"I really do like your hair this way," he said. His face was lit with a bright grin.

Keiya nodded and beamed convincingly enough despite her extreme low. All the thinking, the questioning, the wondering… It never left her alone. She was ready to crack. She wanted to be done with it—to take a chance one way or the other.

She felt his warm hands tenderly glide over her shoulders as he fastened the jewelry around her neck. His eyes never left hers. When his hands skimmed down her arms to her waist, she leaned in and held him comfortably and longingly, the way she always did. Inside, the options battled and pined for her attention.

She breathed in his scent admiringly. "Thank you, Riku…" she murmured against his chest. His arms wrapped securely around her, an implication of his mutual contentedness.

He laughed softly into her hair. "Thank you for accepting…"

She stayed quiet in his embrace, enjoying the return to normalcy, and sick to her stomach with the screeching, contradicting choices…

After a while, Riku withdrew to walk her to the bed, where he habitually fixed her cool body beneath the blankets before resting alongside her, encircling her in his arms. She closed her eyes gratefully and remained luxuriously victim to his strong, warm protection. The screeching was unbearable, though, and she huddled into him to drown it out.

She held the novel charm in one hand, tracing it, memorizing its shape, and saw it both as a beautiful symbol and a regretful remembrance. The latter gave it a whole new meaning that only intensified the loathing and fear she felt in traveling the darker route.

I don't like this. I just can't do this anymore…

The constant contemplation would drive her to madness, she knew. She thought of each life before her one more time, vowing to reach some sort of conclusion. Everything spun around her; Riku's familiar embrace was her only anchor to reality as the possibilities blurred and bent in her mind.

What would happen…? No one knows…

She took a deep breath in the silence. "Riku…?" she started, her voice light and thin.

He tightened his hold around her. "Hmm?"

"Can I…" She stopped to swallow, halted by one last uncertainty. But she could feel that detested flame of darkness withering beneath her words. She spoke over the last scorning and dissuading voices, clearly and without looking back, "Can I… go home with you?"

Riku sat up with a jolt of energy. His blood rushed with unprecedented exuberance and it took him a few seconds to recover his voice. She watched anxiously for his reaction.

"Y-you mean it?" he asked excitedly, overcome with surprise. She could see his eyes dance with hope even through the dim light. His boyish grin brought a smile to her face.

She sat up with him, his enthusiasm beginning to rub off on her. "Yes…"

"Yes! You… you won't regret anything—I promise," he exclaimed. He drew her into him again, laughing uncontrollably, unable to conceal his energy and relief. "You're going to be so happy…"

After overcoming the lingering hesitation, she allowed herself to smile freely and enjoy the trembling excitement that ran through his body as he held her. One by one, she discarded of her concerns. She didn't want to think about them again—this was how she wanted to make her life. She felt right here, and she couldn't see herself anywhere else. Things happen for a reason… she told herself. I can't go back now; this is where I want to be. Why shouldn't everything work out for us?

His hand shook as it caressed her face. He was much too overjoyed to be suave and collected. "I can't wait to show you where we'll live. It's right near the beach—I know you'll like it. This is going to be great! You'll see."

She nodded happily in agreement and leaned in to steal his lips in a kiss. Riku snaked his arms around her in return and laid her back onto the mattress, grinning into the kiss, toying with the waves in her hair.

No more thinking. It's done.

~…~

Author's Note: Not sure about this one… Was it too overdone? Hope the scene with Sai wasn't too forced, either…

Just a heads up: this is my last update before I start seriously cracking down on college applications (O.o) so the next one might take me a little longer than usual… Hope this satisfies until then! Also, there's some information about the mini-story on my profile, as well as a poll. And I published an Ouran story-KyouyaOC- a while back, so if anyone's interested, feel free to check it out!

Well, please review! A lot of people reviewed the fight-chapters, but stopped after that arc finished… I think you guys all know how difficult it is to continue when you don't get much feedback.

Thank you for reading, and happy October!