Is there something you want me to make clear in this story? If yes, just review and I could tell you on the next chapter. But of course, I can't answer all. It would be a spoiler, wouldn't it? Just ask me what's not clear to you and I'll get it straight.

Enjoy reading.

Tsuna-san…

You always forced me to be happy, when I don't want to be happy

You always forced me to smile…

When it's hurt for me to smile

But…

Is it still okay for me to love you?

After all of the horrible things I've done to you,

I…

~#~#~#~

Tsuna opened his eyes slowly. Languidly he turned a bit, only to see that Yuni was sitting as she looked at him.

"I know it may sound a bit weird, but good night, Sawada-san" she said softly with a smile.

But Tsuna just blankly stared at her silently in deep thought and that somewhat confused her. "What is it? Is something wrong?" she asked, but he just shook his head.

"Is it night already? Why are you here, Yuni?" he spoke with weary and low voice.

"I called her here" a familiar voice made Tsuna looked down and turned out that Reborn was sitting on Yuni's lap all along. "What do you mean?" Tsuna asked. "Kusakabe postponed his investigation"

"Why?"

"We don't know. He won't say why. Most likely, he's been found out and told not to follow her again" Reborn explained.

"But we have heard about the information" Yuni added. "It's a disappointment, though" Reborn stated.

"What do you mean by that?"

"From what we were told, Haru-san has been acting rather odd lately. We assume that she has another intention of making an alliance with the Vongola"

"You assume? Then, it's just an assumption. And then, what?"

"Nothing. I told you it's a disappointment, didn't I? Kusakabe won't give us more details and we don't know why" Reborn said as he crossed his arms.

"He won't tell us, huh" Tsuna mumbled as he turned around to stare at the ceiling deeply.

"What? Do you have any idea why?"

"Mm, probably"

The three of them stayed quiet after he said that. Whether it was because having nothing else to say or they were all in deep thought. A knock on the door awoke them from their thought and a purple-haired woman went inside, making Tsuna lifted his body up to sitting position.

"Boss, how are you doing?" she asked. He nodded slightly and said "I'm fine, thanks for asking. Sorry that this had to happen in your birthday, Chrome"

Chrome shook her head and said "It's okay. I would do the same in your birthday if the letter said Mukuro-sama's name"

"By the way, where's everyone?" Tsuna asked. "They're at the meeting room" Chrome answered.

"They're discussing on what are they going to do with Sicario Family. You know how dangerous they can be, moreover they're often to be brutal at times. Sicario Family never affiliates themselves with anyone. They're an aloof Mafioso that kills, they're assassins. They're not like Scarso Family who bluntly seeks for the Vongola gear. They want you to suffer before they kill you" Reborn stated.

"No, I don't think that's it" Tsuna voiced. "If they want me to suffer, they won't do this. From what I see in my wounds, they want someone to suffer by seeing me in this state. It's not just about the wounds. I have the strong feeling they're targeting someone else"

"Then, their target must be someone that care for you, close to you. But, who?" with his fedora hat that shadowed his face, Reborn spoke his remark.

While everyone lowered their head in thought, Chrome had her eye on Tsuna. Not long after that, Tsuna sensed he was being watched and raised his head as he looked at Chrome. "What's wrong, Chrome?" he asked. "Boss…"

"Hm?"

"Is there something you're keeping from us?"

"Eh? Why you ask?"

"Because… your face…"

"Vongola!" suddenly, the door was kicked harshly, startling them. "Vel? Why are you—"

"Don't play dumb! I'm here for Neve!" he shouted. "V-Vel-san, calm down" Chrome stood in his way, trying to calm him. "Get out of the way! She has been acting strange ever since she met you!"

"Wouldn't it be wise for you to tell us what happened instead of accusing someone?" Reborn voiced, making Vel shut his mouth. He might calm down, but his trembling clenched hands spoke otherwise. "Neve, she… she's supposed to contact me, but…"

"She's… disappeared"

Those brown eyes of his widened in shock and quivered of having heard the last sentence, choking him and giving pain to his heart. As if when the word "disappeared" had been heard, time around him froze and making his hurting heart even more scarred.

At Sicario manor

Several gunshots filled the whole mansion. All with weapon on their hands, regardless they were fighting one person only, not to mention a young woman. Neve swung her sword to the Mafioso as she ran to the veranda. Her brown eye wasn't the usual cold eye anymore. It was narrowed, sharp, and resentful with much profound anger, but her way of showing it was so calm that the extent of it was so unnerving.

At the moment she got there, she tossed her chain to a tall tree nearby and tied it onto the branch. With the enemy got there, she managed to escape by jumping while holding onto the chain as she swung towards the ground and when she was close to the ground, she let go and continued running.

It wasn't merely for escape; she knew the enemies would come from there. Despite there were injuries, it wasn't enough to stop her. Even when she was kicked to the wall brutally, she didn't show any pain in her face.

"There she is!" five Mafioso ran towards her from the front, but with a simple swing, she incapacitated them all and what made her so dangerous to them was that she never stopped running and slashing.

As she was running, her sense felt something behind her and she immediately swung her sword to her back, but what she slashed into two was surprisingly a bazooka rocket and it exploded very close to her distance.

The backyard was burnt with the blazing flame and a golden-haired young man with a bazooka on his shoulder was staring at the flame solemnly from the veranda, along with his men behind him.

However, everyone except the golden-haired boss was taken aback and eyes grew wide to the burning flame, as a figure slowly rose up and amazingly walked out of the flame calmly. Even though there were burn marks on her face and body, her eye stayed the same, as if she couldn't feel a pain and continued moving.

At the moment, everyone there thought the same thing looking at her: She was worse than a killing machine. She was a monster.

"What the… is she a zombie? And that looks… she's going to kill us next!" with one Mafioso spoke his worries, everyone began to express their uneasiness and fear. "Idiot. There's no such thing as zombie" the boss shot around her ankle, causing her to drop one leg.

But at that moment also, when her leg was shot, she completely snapped out. She regained her conscious as an emotional human. But her eye also expressed shock of what had befell on her, where she was, and what did she do.

"Hey, are you awake now?" she looked up when she heard the voice and to her surprise, it was the boss of Sicario himself.

She knew she would be screwed up, but she didn't want to hurt anyone else. She was sick of herself hurting others, even though she was chained by something that wouldn't allow her to stay still. Knowing that in mind, she walked with one leg while her left arm holding the right badly-injured arm to hide behind a wall.

The boss beckoned his subordinates to get down with the help of rope while he just simply jumped down. When his men were on battle stance as they approached her slowly, the boss said "Wait"

He walked few steps forward and said with a smirk "Ne, for how long are you going to hide?"

She didn't respond, just leaning her back against the wall with sitting position. Currently, she suffered a major blood loss; her breathe was seemingly heavy and blood continuously flowing from her head down to her face.

"What are you doing, Haru? Are you trying to do something behind my back?"

"Shut up. I don't have time for you"

"Wow, you've gotten rebel. I must punish you"

Suddenly, she felt a thump on her whole body. Her entire body felt hot and there was a particular painful pain on her heart as she gripped it. Cold sweat started to produce and it was more agonizing as it became one with her wounds, as if her body hated her so much that it simultaneously torturing her.

"What would it be like if I hurt Vongola Decimo again?" hearing that, she snapped. "What kind of face would you put? I'm dying to know, Neve" the boss was grinning.

After he said that, she showed herself leisurely with head stayed low. Then slowly, when she raised her head up, there was practically no emotion on her eye, empty and dead; similar to her previous state, but much more threatening and so far from being human. As the Mafioso ran towards her, one by one was slaughtered with one swing.

Frankly, with one Mafioso got slaughtered to the next, as she was surrounded by pile of corpses, she was standing rather like a cold-blooded being. Chills invaded the boss as he looked into her eye and all of his men were on the ground. It was just the two of them now.

"I get it. When something pisses you off, you'll become a cold-blooded killer. This should be fun" he let out two blades as he dashed towards her.

Without much effort, before he could swing his weapon, he was stopped by a sword that pierced through his kidney. His face turned pallor and then Neve abruptly pulled out her sword. The Sicario boss dropped down while holding the stab wound helplessly. Then, a gun was pointed to his head.

"Why don't you beg for your life?" she asked in curiosity.

"Are you… joking? I wouldn't… beg for my life… to a… monster like you"

"I see. Then, get ready to meet your maker"

Under the dark sky of the night and cold air, in the dark and narrow street, Neve walked while dragging her wounded leg. Her blood that dripped down made a track to the whole street. Her body was so hard to move that she had to walk while leaning against the walls, so that she could walk on one foot without falling. Thankfully, no one was there.

But she had been walking for a long distance with that body. Her body immediately stopped and she dropped herself. She couldn't stand anymore, so she leaned back and rested her back against the wall.

She was thinking: if she could die here, there would be peace in her friends' life. It might not be a peaceful death, but all she thought about was her friends and Tsuna. Everyone would be free from this world's hell if she died, that was what she thought.

"Are you… joking? I wouldn't… beg for my life… to a… monster like you"

She never encountered someone who could say that to her. It was really surprising, yet expected. With mirthless and grievous eye, she looked down to her hands.

A monster, huh

I know it…

I've always known it, but…

Tears started flowing down through her cheek unwillingly, washing away some of the blood on her painful face. There was no motion on her face nor did she look like crying; it was just simple falling tears with only mirthless expression, because those tears were her burden that she had been carrying; what she was forced to.

With one quiet-healthy left arm, she wiped the tears. After she wiped her tears, her vision began to darken and blur. It was hard to maintain her to awake.

All of the sudden, a familiar chirp was heard and a yellow canary bird was at her sight. She turned around languidly and despite her vision blurred, she faintly saw a silhouette of a person walked approaching her.

"Who's… there?" she said heavily. But the man didn't answer, and her consciousness started fading out until she completely shut her eyes and passed out.

…

It was a rainy day as clouds filled the vast sky. Haru was walking towards Tsuna's house with a dark blue umbrella. She wanted to apologize about yesterday, that he had to see that side of her and made him hear her problem. She was walking while humming and smiling; she was going to ask him to capture the scenery of Namimori with her if the weather became sunny and she brought the camera.

She arrived at his house, but noticed the front door was opened. Having an uneasy feeling, she walked inside.

"It wasn't you fault, mama" she heard Bianchi's voice from the kitchen and she also heard like a cry.

"It should've been me who's at the hospital. Tsu-kun… he recklessly pushed me" Haru's eyes were showing the shock that struck her.

"It's that driver's fault, he's speeding"

"But as a mother, I should've protected him. Because of my weakness, Tsu-kun's condition has turned worse…"

As she heard the last sentence, she was in so much shock that she ran towards the hospital without picking up her umbrella. With anxiety and worries written all over her face, she kept running regardless of the rain that soaked her.

When she arrived, she immediately asked for his room from the reception. "Sawada Tsunayoshi, let's see… he's in room 407"

She instantly ran again towards his room and along the way, Dino and Reborn spotted her.

"Ah, Haru, what are you—" but she just ran passing him without stopping, which kind of confused him.

Then, he finally arrived at the room as she looked at the name. She was going to open the door and even already prepared her smile, but suddenly, she heard Kyoko's voice from inside.

She didn't know why her chest felt like burning painfully at the time she realized Kyoko was inside. Not sure why, she was afraid of something that might happen, but she mustered up to take a peek inside.

And yes, she was right to be afraid.

There were just her best friend and her first love in that room, but aside that, the way he looked at Kyoko, the way he smiled at her, her chest as if got pierced by an arrow of despair.

She immediately realized; Tsuna liked Kyoko.

Knowing that, she didn't bother to enter his room. Instead, she left them alone while she was showered with the gloomy rain as she walked home. She walked with shadow covered partial of her face as she lowered her head. She stopped before she stepped into a zebra cross because the traffic light for pedestrians was red.

While waiting, she kept staring at the puddle at the front, staring at her own reflection and saw how pathetic she was. She really didn't have a chance against her angelic best friend, she thought.

"Then, why don't you annihilate her?"

She snapped as she heard the voice from her reflection and the reflection was smiling fiendishly.

"A pure and protected angel, is none other than a demon in disguise"

Her eyes were quivering in so much shock; it was like Haru herself who spouted that insult about her own best friend.

She gripped her head stressfully and with shaken voice, she spoke "No…"

"Haru will never hurt Kyoko-chan and say bad things about her!" she immediately ran forward, much to everyone's surprise.

"Hey, watch out!"

Haru snapped as she heard a scream. Her eyes bulged as she saw everyone's panic face. When she looked to her left, a big truck was at few meters away from her. And the scream increased when they saw that Haru didn't make a move, simply stood as if waiting for the vehicle to hit her.

It was written on her face, just how sick she was about herself. At that time, she really wanted to end her life without saying goodbye to Tsuna. But again, her attempt to die was stopped, and this time, she was saved by Dino who cradled her and jumped to the other side in the nick of time.

"Oi, are you alright?" Dino asked in worry.

She was too struck by his sudden action that she was just staring at him with wide eyes. Then, she diverted her stare forward to the puddle and thought that perhaps she was just imagining things.

Seeing she wasn't at the condition to talk, Reborn and Dino took her to her house. For Haru herself, she left lucky that her parents weren't at home, but she was still at uncertain condition. Reborn could see the sorrow within her eyes. While she changed her clothes, they waited at the living room.

She was asked with questions from Dino, but she remained silent and he didn't know what to do if she kept doing that. It was like a waste of effort and he sighed deeply.

"I'll get you warm milk" he headed to the kitchen.

Reborn looked at the girl who was folding her legs as she hugged them. "Are you giving up on him?" his questioned made her flinch. "Haru… I know Tsuna-san likes Kyoko-chan. I know that how many times I tried; I can't make him look at me. I'm so stupid to see that… he never once looked at me. It hurts… so much"

Her face at that moment wasn't easy to describe, but it expressed so much sadness and desperation that shouldn't happen to anyone, even to a girl like Haru. Reborn saw through that fact. Just a glimpse on her grievous face, he knew what inside her heart.

"Haru, what do you want most in your life?"

"…eh?"

"Back then, you were trying to end your life, but there's something that you want to do in your life, isn't it? Even though you see your own life as a burden and misfortune"

Having heard his statement, her teary brown eyes grew wide in surprise. As he was waiting for her answer, suddenly they heard a sound of broken utensil from the kitchen. Hearing that, she stood up and walked to the kitchen. But then after few steps before leaving the living room, she stopped.

"…I want to become someone that can protect him. I want to stay by his side forever as a friend, as his protector… and as a person who loves him" she answered without looking back to Reborn.

"If you do that, Tsuna will end up with Kyoko. Is that what you want?"

"If that makes him happy… just the sight of his smile is enough to make me happy"

"He's the first person who made me realized, that I'm not so worthless to live. He doesn't know this, but gave me the chance to feel 'love'. My parents may give me life, but he gives me everything I need to live. He gives me happiness, he gives me smile" her voice wasn't just sorrow; it was so heart-rending and Reborn could feel the sincerity from those words. Those sad words weren't just beautiful; it was very pure from her heart.

"Would you throw away your feelings for the sake of protecting him? Are you willing to undergo a harsh training? Do you have the heart and willingness to sacrifice your relationships to be strong?" he questioned with solemn looks. "Once you say yes, you won't be able to go back to your previous life. You'll become a different Miura Haru"

She nodded and said "I don't mind if I have to be alone. I'll purge my own soul if I have to"

"I see"

Truthfully, Reborn knew she would accept his offer, but he never thought that she would say she was willing to purge her own soul. In a way, she had a potential to become a part of Vongola.

"You have a resolve of a true Mafioso, Haru. Tomorrow, meet me at the park. I would like to introduce you to a tutor that fits you well"

…

In a particular room with moonlight breached through the curtains, Neve opened her eyes as her other eye never let go from her eyepatch. The Vongola boss himself was the first person she saw as he was sitting next to the bed.

"Vongola… you're okay? But your wounds…" she asked in low voice. "I'm okay, it's just bandages" he replied with a smile.

"How long have I been unconscious?" she asked. "It's not too long, if that's what you're concern about. You look like you're having a good rest, though. I'm really thankful to Hibari-san"

"Why?"

"He brought you here. He said you were attacked by Sicario Family"

"Is that so?"

"But that's not it, isn't it?" as she heard that, she twitched. His face looked very serious and she wouldn't lie, too, knowing he had hyper intuition. She just remained silent as she looked to the window, averting her eyes away from him.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone—oh, and Vel was here. He just visited you and left for handling your work, though before that, he…"

"He what?" she turned her stare to him.

"…Nothing" he diverted his eyes from her. Truthfully, he was bothered when Vel kissed her forehead. He was jealous, for sure. He didn't want to say that part to her.

"O-Oi! Don't come in altogether! She might be sleeping" suddenly, they heard Gokudera's voice along with other footsteps. "It's fine, Gokudera. We'll stay quiet" the door was opened by Yamamoto. Beside them, Lambo, Chrome, and Ryohei were also there.

"How are you, Neve-san?" Lambo asked shyly. "Don't be shy, Lambo. She won't bite" Ryohei swatted his back. "Why are you guys here?" she questioned. "What do you mean? All of us were worried, of course" Gokudera said in somewhat pissed tone.

"Ma, ma. You're the one who invited us here, anyways" Yamamoto said.

"I-Idiot! I'm not!"

While Yamamoto and Gokudera were on their own usual habits, she was taken aback by it. It was like 10 years ago all over; they didn't change, she thought. She was surrounded by the warmth of their kindness, she was stunned, yet she was sad at the same time. She missed being in the circle of friendship, she wanted to smile with them.

But, she realized she couldn't. She already separated herself with them. Moreover, she lied about losing memories. As she was ruminating about it, Chrome approached her with risotto.

"Neve-san. I made this myself. Get better soon, okay?" she said with a shy smile.

"Well, see you later, Tsuna. We still have mission to do" Yamamoto, Gokudera, and the others left the two alone again.

"You can touch your food now" Tsuna voiced.

"I… can't"

"What do you—oh, I forgot" he retracted what was he about to say as he noticed her condition. Then, he grabbed the plate of risotto and scooped it with spoon. "Open your mouth"

"Wh-What are you doing? Besides, I can't eat in this position" she sheepishly denied. After he said that, he put down the dish on side table near the bed. Then, he sat on the bed facing her and gently pushed her to him with left arm while his other arm was adjusting the pillows to be placed against the headboard, so that she could lean over in sitting position.

She was undeniably blushing as his scent got to her nose. It was like being hugged and she couldn't push him because of her body. His body felt really warm, broad, yearning, and calmed her. She really missed those feelings, when she felt she was safe. Because of that feeling, her right hand moved tremblingly. Despite the injuries, it kept moving with struggle until she finally gripped his shirt.

"Tsuna…-san"

"Eh?" Tsuna flinched over that call. He was surprised when he heard that from her, but it was so low that it was almost unheard. "I'm happy… to be someone that can protect you"

"Neve…?" Tsuna was thinking; did she just call him that? Did she regain a part of her memory? He wanted to know. To do that, he had to let her go and see her face, but as he realized her hand was clinging to his shirt, he changed his mind.

Instead of letting her go, his other arm took part in embracing too with his eyes shut. Nothing could bother them as he embraced her peacefully. Even if anything could bother, despite the sense of jealousy, Vel only leaned against the wall outside while peeking from the slightly opened door. Downcast marked his face, but it was an expression that meant for Neve as he looked at them.

And then, from his view and what he heard, Neve requested to be let go and Tsuna certainly did that as he made her lean to the pillow.

"Sorry, Vongola. I fell asleep in your arms" with downcast face, she spoke—or to be precise, she lied. Tsuna shook his head slightly and with the same face as her, he said "It's fine"

While they were experiencing their own moment, deep within her heart and soul and in the midst of black and white flower field, 'Haru' watched the entire scene. While watching it, she looked very irritated and her eyebrows were furrowed.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi… I'll definitely kill you by my own hands"

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