I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
In the Dark
She remembered heat and smoke, remembered hiding beneath the stairs, cramped in that small space with a dozen other people for hours. She remembered being told to be silent, and being given a rag to bite so she wouldn't make any noise. Trembling, work-worn hands touched her face to pull the cloth over her nose and mouth. Don't breathe it in, someone told her. A woman's arms stayed wrapped around her from behind the whole time, squeezing every once in a while to reassure her.
"I'm scared…" she whispered shakily.
The woman rubbed her arms. "Shh, you need to stay quiet."
"Are they going to find us?"
"Christ, would you make your daughter shut her mouth? She'll lead them right to us!" came a hoarse whisper.
"I'm sorry—she is still only a child," the sweet voice strained.
Creaking was heard outside the room, and everyone held their breath to listen. The heartless' claws raked across the wooden floors as they rampaged around the house in search of prey. Keiya's mother hurried to put the towel back in her daughter's mouth, but the girl spat it out moments later, obstinate even at the climax of fear.
"Did they find daddy?" she asked quietly, when the monsters seemed to have passed them by.
"No... no, I'm sure daddy and your brothers are just fine." The woman stroked her hair and spoke low into her ear, but Keiya didn't once take her eyes off of the door. With a forced smile, she continued, "They're probably waiting for us outside. We just need to wait until it's safe to go meet them."
Keiya remembered nodding her head, and the comforting feel of someone tying her hair up into a pony-tail. The tightening of her roots and the brief pinch as the band wrapped around the strands served to ground her. Something, at least, was familiar. Not like the faces shooting them dirty glares whenever she and her mother exchanged quick words. Not like the black, faceless creatures lurking outside, that had teased their hostages into an old attic space thick with fumes and spores and dust.
She remembered palming the stones she'd collected from the floor and passing them between hands, remembered breathing in the musty scent of the rag tied loosely to cover her nose, and having to hold back the impulse to yank it off.
Where were they—a building? Some old, unused warehouse? Keiya had never paid it much mind before, but now nearly one-third of the town was hiding there, in the attic space, in the cabinets of the mold-infested kitchen, between conveyor belts in the factory… The screams from earlier had stopped, and the people hiding with them had made hasty whispers to each other that everyone else in the building had been cleared out, save for them. Keiya was still shaking from when the five of them had been separated, and she and her mother had run and tripped desperately from room to room like meek and clumsy baby deer, scouring for a place to hide.
"You remember to stay close to me," the woman said sternly, fixing the material over the girl's mouth.
"Mhmm…" Her voice was muffled by the fabric.
She recalled hours upon hours passing by without a sound, recalled sitting on the floor with the woman next to her, holding her tightly. Everyone around them was exhausted, leaning against the walls or lying down in the dark space. Some were no longer moving. Their lungs had been scorched by the invisible swirling gases, and those bodies had been piled aside. Her mother told her not to look at them. The refugees tried to relax and shut their eyes, but no one was asleep; the footsteps were heard coming and going, and each thump was absorbed by the terrified hearts aching for a rescue.
The moldy smell, the stiffness in her joints, the hunger—it was too much for a little body to take. She had started to cry. She whispered her maladies through breaking cries and overwhelming nausea. The gas had started slipping past the towel pressed to her nose, making her head and eyes sting all the more.
"Shh, don't cry," the woman spoke softly, wiping away her tears and motioning for her to bite the rag again so her sobs wouldn't emerge. "You can't cry, or they'll hear you. Don't cry, don't cry…"
It only made her want to cry harder. She huddled into a ball and gave a silent scream into the rag.
"I want to go home!" she mumbled incoherently.
"Shh! Look, look at this," her mother coaxed. She pulled off her heirloom earrings and held them out to the girl. Naturally, Keiya's bright eyes went wide and glistened to reflect the gems' sparkle.
"Here, why don't you put these on? …No? Want to look at them first?" she asked with a smile.
Keiya had pocketed her stones and was now turning the glittering crystals around and around in wonder, watching them catch nonexistent light.
"You see? No matter how bad things seem, there's always a light waiting to guide the way. But sometimes it's hiding, waiting for you to become strong first."
"Is ours hiding now?" she inquired dolefully, popping the towel out of her mouth. Her mother placed it back between her lips and nodded her head, then motioned for her to stay quiet. She took the earrings from the shaking little hands and gingerly hooked one into each of Keiya's ears.
"Can you be strong?"
A piercing scrape saved her from an answer, and the hearts of all the prisoners in the room jolted in unison. Claws ran down the length of the door over and over as if to chip it to pieces—the screech of vultures circling high in the sky. There was no need to keep quiet now; people started screaming. Like animals, they began tripping over each other to find a hiding space, as if anyone could be spared the heartless' wrath in this tiny room. The weak and dead were shoved out of the way, thrown toward the door in the hopes that the monsters would be distracted.
Keiya felt someone try to rip her away from her mother. She nearly stumbled to accommodate them until warm hands were firm on her shoulders and pulled her back into their corner. Another woman with a baby in each arm and the stink of death rolling off her skin dropped to her knees and started babbling before them.
"No, go away. We can't help you," came her mother's voice quietly. She repeated it several times, always with the same calm, unwavering voice, until the beggar scrambled away.
"That woman is sick," she explained, seeing Keiya's tearing, curious eyes follow her away. "Those babies are already dead."
There was uproar when the black, ink-like claws finally broke through the wood and began tearing at the door, making the hole bigger. Keiya clenched her eyes shut so tightly that they hurt. She kept wishing for the creatures to go away, for everyone to be able to run past them so fast that they wouldn't be able to keep up, then they could shut the doors and trap the monsters inside.
When the door was broken down, she didn't move at first—not until the woman's warm hand grasped hers to draw her into her skirt. The heartless rushed into the room like the savages they were and latched onto the nearest civilians, eliciting screams and bawls for mercy before they ripped the victims' hearts out to stop the noise. Keiya remembered being backed into a shady corner with her mother, with a beam stretched diagonally overhead to help shield them from view. She remembered suddenly being jerked out of the hiding place when a timely opening toward the doorway emerged. And she remembered the single second of pain—just a brief flash of heat and a ringing snap and crack—when the beam broke loose from the ceiling and hit her over the head, toppled to the ground with her. Then it was blank.
~…~
Riku cringed when Aerith finished tying a bandage around the wound on his chest—the one Sai had given him while he was left defenseless, abandoned by his Keyblade. Now that he was no longer aflame with adrenaline, the injuries and exhaustion were starting to sink in. He had more damage than he could account for; bruises and cuts that had been just swift slices dealt at the speed of darkness now covered his arms and chest. His right shoulder was bloodied from the fortress's concrete rain that had hit him during battle. With all the potions already used up, there was nothing to be done about it until they reached Radiant Garden. Leon had suggested they give him sleeping pills so he wouldn't have to endure the pain during the flight back, but Riku vehemently protested any movement from his current position.
Keiya was still unconscious in his lap, her head resting against his chest, her body shivering violently under the poison's touch. He could feel her skin prickle and her limbs periodically tense in pain. Short, shaky breaths warmed the bare skin of his chest. Her heart was fighting to keep beating, while his own was panicking with each nervous twitch of her body.
"We've already contacted Radiant Garden—a doctor will be there to meet us when we land," Aerith informed him, carrying over another blanket at his request. She handed him a clean shirt to wear, but he chose to drape it over Keiya's shoulders instead.
"Okay. Thanks."
She caught the sadness in his voice and put on an enthusiastic grin.
"What's wrong? You should be happy you found her," she encouraged. Riku tried to smile in spite of himself and looked back down at the girl in his arms.
"I am, but…"
He thought he heard a meek cry pass through her lips, then die into a series of fluttery breaths, and he couldn't restrain his worry from contorting his face. Aerith watched him with a knowing smile as he tightened his hold on her and pressed her into his chest.
"She's going to be fine, Riku. Cid says we'll be back in about an hour. She'll get medical attention in time."
He nodded and tried to snap himself out of it. "I hope so. I mean, I know…"
When she left, Riku took a deep breath and reclined in his seat, then fixed the blanket around his lover's shoulders. At the brush of the material, Keiya let out an audible whimper and her hand almost jerked, seeking something to cling to.
"Keiya?" he exclaimed eagerly. He tried to stay perfectly still to see if she would stir. His heart had started pounding; he was sure she could hear it. "I-I'm sorry. I know it hurts," he continued. "You just… you need to keep fighting, alright? Please. We'll be back in Radiant Garden soon, I promise."
Her body relaxed after a moment, but to his dismay, she didn't respond to his pleas. She hadn't once opened her eyes or shifted in his arms—he was worried that the poison was working faster than they'd anticipated. The others' optimism could not rub off on him. With a long exhalation, Riku reluctantly fell back against the headrest and tried not to let his worry run too deep.
He said she would be alright. He wouldn't have done what he did, otherwise, he reasoned, unconsciously stroking her hair. For now I have to trust him.
Thinking of Sai's sacrifice made his mind reel; because of Keiya's reluctance to talk, he wasn't sure what to make of the boy's sudden turn-around. He had been so childishly reckless just before, fighting for the kill with no regard to the consequences dealt to his own body. Riku had already labeled him as possessive and destructive, but then in the heat of the moment, without time to reconsider, he was suddenly selfless, mature. He had been composed while Riku had panicked. The keyblade knight was both grateful and bitter: she was safe now, but he hadn't been the one to save her.
To throw his life away for someone who hates him… His eyes narrowed. I underestimated him.
What brought a genuine smile to his face was the memory of her victory, the final seconds of her battle with Maleficent that he had witnessed. She had brandished both light and darkness all her own, and had overcome the insecurities that had crippled her throughout her life. In three long strokes, she'd brought the most feared witch in the galaxy to her knees and sent her up in flames of white and black heat. He couldn't help but feel pride in her triumph; he had been waiting for her to blossom into the warrior he knew she was.
The minutes passed slowly. One more hour turned into two when fuel ran too low for hyper-drive, and even though the others absolutely assured him that they would reach Radiant Garden soon, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the clock. Keiya, in his arms, was rigid as a rock but burning up with a fever. She would tremble violently one moment, then sag listlessly against him the next.
"Soon, we'll be there soon," he would comfort, placing a hand to her forehead, trying to extract the excess heat from her body.
At one point, he overheard Cid and Leon talking in the cockpit when they thought he was asleep, something about poison affecting the mind if it's left alone to do the damage. He couldn't plug his ears. With one eye open, he listened to the conversation intently, letting his heart hammer wildly as the grave words spilled into the silence.
"You might wanna give headquarters a call, tell the doctor that he should start preparin' an antidote. Poisons can do a lot of damage to the brain. It's already got to her heart—we don't know what we're dealing with. There could be nerve damage or memory loss."
"What she has can't be common. He won't be able to prepare anything unless he can examine her. For now there's really nothing we can do."
Riku slid a hand to her face protectively and drizzled some water over her head, swallowing made-up words of encouragement that her fever was going down, her cheeks weren't as red as before.
At three soft knocks on the wall, he tore himself from his thoughts and glanced over to see Sora standing in the doorway. The brunette stepped into the room with a smile, a small cardboard box in his hands.
"So, mission accomplished?" he asked brightly.
"Almost," Riku stated, his eyes automatically falling on Keiya's sleeping form. His voice threatened to crack. "She's still hurt."
The Keyblade wielder sighed and plopped down on a chair next to his friend. His spiky hair was messier than usual from his own battle with the heartless, but he had arguably more energy in him than the exhausted dark warrior. He'd figured Riku wouldn't be jumping for joy after he found his missing lover, but he certainly wouldn't let him mope around the ship for the duration of the flight.
"You're stressing yourself out, Riku," he said plainly, taking a gulp of Riku's untouched water.
He didn't raise his eyes. "Maybe…"
Sora sized the boy up thoughtfully, taking notice of how his eyes hung heavy with drowsiness and remorse, how he held his breath each time the girl in his arms shivered. His friend was in a slump of inconsolable tension, emotionally and physically worn-out, he concluded, and was pained himself to see him unable to smile. So many long weeks had gone into the search-and-rescue; where was the relief, the optimism, the old Riku? With a decisive nod and a grunt of affirmation, Sora thrust a hand out and whacked the brooding mess upside the head.
The silver-haired hero practically tumbled out of his seat.
"Ow! Ugh, what the heck was that for?" he exclaimed sourly, rubbing the newly formed bruise. His other hand clutched Keiya tightly to his chest, but only he seemed fazed by the contact.
"Stop looking so depressed, Riku!"
"I'm not depressed!" he argued on instinct.
Sora wagged his finger at the sulking warrior condescendingly. "I can see right through you—something's not right. You should be relieved now that you found her!"
"Of course I'm relieved, but… it's not over yet," Riku asserted bitterly, straightening himself in his seat. His voice lost its temporary rejuvenation. "There's just a lot on my mind."
"I hope you're not feeling guilty," Sora said carefully, watching his friend's reaction. Riku's lips hung open in silence before he answered, confirming the younger boy's suspicions.
"…When I found her, she was already really hurt," he admitted. "I just wish I had gotten there sooner. She had recent injuries. I could have stopped them—"
"Riku, how could you have known? You traveled everywhere looking for her. I didn't see you rest once. I'm sure she doesn't blame you at all—if anything, I think she'll blame herself. That's how you both are," Sora said firmly. "You always think everything's your fault."
Riku relaxed his grip on the girl and didn't bother holding in a small smile. "Hmph. I know."
"So loosen up! Think about the positive things—did you see when Keiya took out Maleficent? I couldn't get a good look from where I was, but I saw all that fire! She really drove it home!"
"Yeah. She did great," Riku beamed quietly. "I'm proud of her."
Sora gave a triumphant grin when he saw his friend's smile widen. Sure, he'd tease him about all this mushy talk later, but for now he wanted to drag Riku out of the slumps, and if talking about his girlfriend was the best way to do it, then let the mushiness commence.
"So now that you've found a giiirlfriend and defeated Maleficent and her apprentice, what's next on the list? Is it time for marriage vows?"
Riku's cheeks tinged and his face bore a hard grimace. Tearing an arm from around said "girlfriend," he knocked Sora over the head and shoved him into the wall. "Shut up, Sora! Don't talk so loud!" he hushed, glaring at the keyblade wielder's snickers.
"W-what's wrong?" the brunette got out between chokes of laughter. When he saw Riku's face turn serious, he sat up in his seat excitedly. "Wait, are you seriously thinking about that?"
"N-no. It's just… Even if that's what I wanted, it's not that easy," he began, straining against the blush on his face. "I don't know what's going to happen when she wakes up. She might get mad at me for something, and I'm kind of upset with her… It's not the same as it was before. We have a lot to discuss."
Sora frowned when the far-off gleam set in the older boy's eyes again. "Are you afraid to talk to her?"
"Just anxious," Riku replied, shaking his head.
"Why don't you tell me about it? Maybe you can sort it all out for yourself if you talk to someone."
"There's nothing to sort out. I trusted her when she promised she wouldn't run away. I'm still upset that she went back on that promise," he explained dismally, averting his eyes to the far window so as to conceal his pain.
Holding her in his arms was doing nothing to comfort him; he could hear his voice shaking, could feel her shaking. Betrayal, love, regret, and relief suffocated his heart for dominance until all he could feel was heartbreak. Eyes now shut so he couldn't look down at her, he gave into that one feeling he had tried not to acknowledge during his search. The cement he'd formed from denial and feigned strength of mind crumbled to pieces as his realization hit, and rendered his heart completely shattered. His eyes stung with the urge to tear, but he tensed his whole body against it, and so the tears fell back inside, dripped down to his heart and spread their sadness throughout his bloodstream.
How could you lie to me?
He bit his lip, scrunched his face into knots to regain composure, and continued with a frustrated glower, "There's so much she's been hiding from me. Every time I asked her about him… about Sai, she'd start a huge argument to avoid it. I'm tired of secrets—I just… I want her to open up."
Sora watched him for a moment as he distractedly fumbled with the blankets around Keiya's shoulders. He was quiet now, probably ashamed at having spilled so much emotion out into the open. Persistent in his mission to cheer up the heartbroken teenager, Sora pulled out the cardboard box he'd brought and set it on the small table at Riku's side.
"Remember, before we left the castle, you asked me to see what was on the other side of the room? Well, this is what I found. Check it out."
Riku reluctantly pulled the box closer to himself, his curiosity surfacing reliably to replace some of the distress. He pulled out her hair tie, complete with lingering orange strands, then two scratched pebbles, and two matching earrings of clear, cascading crystal.
"These are Keiya's?" he asked, seeing Sora brighten with a grin.
Sora nodded. "I think so. Maybe when you give them back to her, she'll tell you some of what you want to know."
Riku was smiling, turning the artifacts over in his palm as if he'd uncovered buried treasure. "Yeah. Thanks, Sora. I think… she'll be happy to have these."
~…~
White walls greeted her when she opened her eyes. Faceless, blurry figures hovered over her and shifted in and out of her vision, their mumbling voices whizzing by her head. She was dizzy, nauseous, and found that she couldn't pick herself up. With her eyes half open in a blank trance, she lay atop a bed of rough, musky sheets and listened to the incomprehensible murmurs, watched shadows on the ceiling.
Where was she? Who else was here? All the questions that should have come to her were lost somewhere in her mind. Barely conscious of her own body, she was thinking no thoughts at all—only absorbing what noise and light surrounded her.
When a bony hand took her firmly by the arm and jerked her up, her mind and body snapped back together and suddenly there was pain all over. Barrages of tingly needles attacked her arms and legs; an ache settled deep in her side, forcing her to bend over immediately; and in her head was a severe throbbing—a violent, rhythmic pounding that clogged her senses and brought tears to well up in her eyes. Her small hands had already risen to grip her skull when a sharp voice next to her shouted across the room.
"I've got an empty bed over here! And someone, grab me clean sheets!"
The vibrations threatened to tear apart her ears by the seams.
Footsteps approached, and she heard the rustling of material being exchanged.
"This one should be alright," the voice quipped distractedly. "Hey, little girl, you awake?"
Keiya struggled to get the blur out of her eyes when a hand waved in front of her face. "Give me your phone number or address so we can contact your parents."
The words didn't make sense to her. She was out of place in her own body. Since the woman was facing monitors and machines at the side of the bed, Keiya took the time to look around the room. The walls were lined with cots just like the one she was sitting in, all of them filled with bleeding, burned, or broken patients. She felt small in that room, hearing people scream and beg doctors either to help them or to leave them alone.
"Hey! Are you listening? Your parents need to come pick you up," the woman snapped, rapping her arm to get her attention.
"...H-huh?"
"You can't hang around here all day—there are dozens of people still waiting to be treated."
Keiya's voice was quiet and passive. "But…where is this?"
The nurse raised an eyebrow, finally giving her a look over. "A hospital. Nearly everyone here was trapped in one house or another when the heartless came, and there are still more coming in. Look around, is your family here?"
Keiya's eyes darted over the various faces again when the woman motioned her to look, but she didn't know what she was looking for. Every tearstained, red-eyed visage filled her view until she was blind, eyes overflowing with misery. Every cracking plea and sorrowful shriek thickened in her ears and chased her own thoughts out of her head. Her spirit withered amongst the crowd, crushed by the anguish that plagued the unfamiliar faces.
The nurse hoisted her up and off the bed, then grasped her wrist and brought her to a desk. Keiya struggled to keep up, legs wobbling, head splitting under the loud and sickness-scented air of the room.
"Name?"
"...n-name?"
The woman tapped her pen impatiently. "What do your parents call you, sweetheart?"
Keiya tugged at her dress and watched the other nurses strip her bed and lay the next patient down on clean sheets. She stared at the sweating, red-faced man until the nurse tapped two bony fingers against her cheek to draw her away from her distraction.
"Your name!" she bellowed irritably.
"Um, I-I don't know… Sorry…" the girl confessed, hoping there was no wrong answer, her mind still dissecting the words.
The woman let out a dramatic sigh and waved somebody else over. The man who approached them was wearing white scrubs covered in splotches of blood, and his fingers were browned and calloused. Keiya felt shivers slither up and down her spine when he neared them, carrying a nauseating smell with him.
"This girl is difficult. You deal with her."
He closed in on her with a smile too big for his face. Driven by adamant instincts and the swirling sickness in her stomach, she took several steps back, now wringing her dress in her hands and breathing through her mouth.
His voice was sugar-coated, "What do we have here? Are you lost, little girl? Let us help you find your parents."
All Keiya could comprehend was the blood dripping down his clothes and the smell of iron wafting off of him. When she backed up too far, she crashed into the metal cart housing I.V. fluids and syringes and banged her arm on the sharp corner. The cart nearly tipped over, and the nurses all scrambled to save their equipment and scold the jittery culprit caught between them.
"Watch where you're going! You almost broke expensive medical tools—this is no place for a child!"
"Just get her parents' names or her address or something and send her home," said the lady who had been tossing her around.
Suddenly the doctor's brown, cracked hand was on her shoulder, and his smile, up in her face. Keiya didn't stand there long enough to hear his sweet-talk or any more of the scowling nurses' complaints; she ran. Crashing into the cart again and sending the nurses into a frenzy, she tore past the cots and shoved her way through patients and doctors until she was out the door, far past the hospital, sprinting down the gravelly street of a neighborhood full of damaged houses. Her hospital gown was flimsy against the wind, and the ache in her head only seemed to get worse the faster she ran, but she didn't let herself stop until the lights blinked out. Coming to an exhausted, stumbling halt, she found herself staring straight into a dark alley with no doors or windows. The sun was setting, the streets were thinning out. She had nothing and no one. But the air was clean. Tripping over her own feet, she made her way to the cracked brick walls of the alley and slid down to her knees.
The dark seemed to bring the streets to life in a way all its own. The wind whispered to the buildings around her; the moonlight dipped into the cracks and bended around walls trying to find her; feral cats and rodents scurried unseen in the shadows, hissing at each other and tipping over garbage cans as if savagely seeking her out. Their screeches and silhouettes frightened her to tears; something seemed too familiar about the creatures in the dark, as if they were conspiring to attack her. Sometimes she almost thought she saw monsters. The little heart in her chest, fever-pitched, tormented, fluttered faster than her feet could carry her. Most nights, she huddled into the corner, buried her head against the stone blocks, and held her hands to her ears. Her knees would burn, pressed up to the cold concrete for hours while she waited for the night to pass.
~…~
Riku lifted his head at a whisper against his neck and a stirring in his lap. Hands weakly grasped the fabric of his shirt, tugged at the seams and pleaded for his attention.
"Nn… Ri…" her voice broke subtly.
"Keiya!"
He jolted excitedly, tightening his arms around her and tilting her face into his view. His smile sank, however, when he saw that her eyes were still closed, and her skin, still flushed from her fever. Her lips were trembling, fighting to free words, but nothing more came out. Desperate not to let her slip back into sleep at the poison's clutches, he brushed back her hair, stroked her cheeks, and ran his fingers over her eyelids and nose and lips in the hopes that she would feel him calling to her.
For a moment, he thought she seemed to hear him: her eyes clenched and unclenched, her lips parted, choppy wisps of air warmed the skin over his heart.
"Keiya, are you alright? Say something!" he urged, gently shaking her shoulders.
Then her breathing slowed to smooth, deep intakes, and she relaxed with a small, choked sigh.
Riku stared for another moment as she drooped against him. His hands fisted in the tresses of her hair, and he defeatedly slumped against the metal headrest. He felt he was being swung and jerked by an invisible string that had his hopes in a tight noose.
His voice barely reached his own ears. "Say something…"
The ship hit an expanse of meteoroids as it approached Radiant Garden, the turbulence tossing them back and forth, throwing them nearly out of their seats. Cid announced that they would land in half an hour, and that they would only hit more speed bumps as they entered the atmosphere. Riku kept a tight hold on her. His face in her hair, his lips by her ear, he continued letting words free. Even if she didn't hear him, it comforted him to speak to her.
After a particularly drastic swerve of the ship, Keiya began to stir again, and Riku's body trembled with elation. He watched her eyes flutter open to reveal an expressionless, hazy gaze, and despite her weakness, he couldn't hold back a tremulous smile.
"U-uhn… Riku?" she murmured, her mouth barely moving.
"Y-yeah," he breathed. His lips found her forehead and dusted her with quick, ecstatic kisses. "Everything's alright, don't worry. We're on our way back to—"
"Where are you?"
His eyes turned wide and wary. "I'm right here," he stated, making sure he was in her line of vision. "I'm holding you. We're on the ship."
Keiya's countenance dimmed with distress, and her hands tightened on his shirt. "I-I can't… find you…"
"I'm right here, Keiya! Don't you feel me?" he asked, unconsciously gripping her harder. He felt his happiness melt into dread the longer he stared into her blank, blank eyes.
Her voice began to mix with sobs and small tears leaked down her cheeks. "You sound so far away..." she whispered.
Riku shook his head sharply, trying to free himself from the restless concern. She's just sick from the poison, he reminded himself. She'll wake up for real when she gets an antidote. He looked back at her with a calm resolve to see her staring into space, not seeing, not feeling.
"Where am I?" she asked quietly, her voice quaking like a child's.
Riku pulled her back into his chest. "You're with me. You're in my arms, and you're safe."
"It's dark. I can't see anything here…"
"I know. Close your eyes."
She relaxed in his embrace, Riku was delighted to realize, even though she couldn't feel him teasing the waves of her hair or resting his cheek atop her head. Hearing her voice was soothing some of his anxiety, and bringing back feelings he had forgotten. For the first time in weeks, he felt strong. He felt his chest soar with passion and his mind start to break out of its shell of despair. The parts of himself she had taken with her when she left were coming back to him piece by piece, fitting into the puzzle at the sound of each breath, each word she spoke.
"It's so cold," she mumbled as a shiver ran up her spine.
Riku pulled the blankets more securely around her shoulders, wondering whether or not she would really be able to feel it.
"Riku…" she continued, her voice growing smaller, shyer. "I beat her… I beat Maleficent."
"I know, love. I saw," he said warmly. He ran his hands up and down her back, beaming at the disbelief and awareness her words held. "You were amazing. You're free."
Suddenly, he felt her fingers tighten against his chest and her hands begin to tremor violently. "S-so now she can't… she can't…"
"Shh, relax." He sat forward in alarm and tenderly rubbed her arms.
"Aah!"
Keiya collapsed into a fit of hyperventilation with a high squeal of agony, tore at the material around her and thrashed her head. Light snapped on in front of her eyes, and everything came rushing in all at once: sight, sound, and pain. It felt like ice blocks were encasing each of her muscles individually, or like a fire was ravaging her limbs from the inside, burning holes in her body as it slithered through her veins. Her eyes squeezed shut, her ears opened and exploded with sound. The scream that flew from her lungs was cut short as her throat constricted, letting out only the breathiest cries of torment.
"Keiya! What's wrong?"
"I-it hurts… Everything hurts…!" she choked out, digging her nails into his shoulders.
"Aerith!" he called urgently, holding the girl down so she wouldn't tumble out of the seat. "I need help!"
Riku was frozen with horror as Aerith and Leon scoured first aid equipment. They pulled out syringes, tubes of liquid and bottles of pills with labels of fine print. To the broken tune of Keiya's agonized, flighty pants, Leon mixed powders and crushed tablets into a glass of liquid, while Aerith prepared the needle with a clear syrupy substance. Riku was relieved, at the very least, that Keiya couldn't see the medications and syringes, and wouldn't object to being injected.
"Nng, I-I can't breathe…!" she whimpered into his neck, wriggling against him, her arms fighting on their own accord to be freed.
"Hold her still so I can give her the serum," Aerith instructed. Riku gripped her arm so tightly that her skin turned white, but before he could worry about hurting her, Aerith was pressing down on the syringe, shooting the medicine into her struggling body.
Within seconds of the injection, Keiya slumped against him and all her movement ceased. Her eyes fluttered open cautiously, and her mumbles and gasps for air still filled the room, but she was listless.
"That should keep her still, and it will slow the poison down. It won't do anything for the pain, though," Aerith explained. Her own face was tinged from the panic. "It's moving faster than we thought. If I had known, I would have given her something sooner."
Leon stepped forward and handed Riku the glass. "This will numb her and put her to sleep. She needs to drink all of it for it to work."
"What's in it?" Riku asked warily.
The older man raised an eyebrow. "You don't trust me?"
"I'm just asking," he defended.
Leon sighed and crossed his arms. "It's just medicine. It has alcohol in it, so it will knock her out. You don't need to give it to her, but the doctor will be giving her something similar to put her under when he examines her, I'm sure."
Riku nodded and muttered a "thank you" before the adults left the room. In the sudden quietude, he realized just how high-strung he was, and took a moment to breathe and repent his distrust before bringing the glass to his lover's lips.
"Keiya? You need to drink this," he said gently, tipping her face up.
A tear slid down her cheek, and her voice was raw. "It… it hurts. I can't move."
"Don't try. Drink this," he repeated, tilting the glass so some of the liquid fell between her lips. He saw her cringe at the taste, and brought a hand to her mouth to force her to swallow it.
"I don't want it…"
"It will make the pain go away," he said sternly. "You have to drink it."
Over and over, he silenced her sobs and helped her get down small amounts of the medicine until the glass was nearly empty. The more she drank, the heavier her eyelids felt, and it wasn't long before she closed them altogether, still taking Riku's commands. The tingling in her body made it hard for her to protest.
"I'm sorry, Riku. I'm so sorry…" she whispered after another forced gulp.
Riku's heart throbbed painfully in his chest at the words. With her still not fully conscious, he had forgotten his feelings of betrayal. Unwaveringly, he raised the glass again. "All of it," he reminded her. She finished the last of the drink with no more talk and sank back into his arms.
"It's okay," he murmured, calmed by the feel of her resting peacefully again. The words almost got lost on their way out as a stinging sensation burned his eyes. His voice cracked, "When you wake up, we'll talk, and I'll forgive you."
"I wish I hadn't… I'm just sorry…" she continued hoarsely, tearing up in his shirt, unable to find the right words in her hazy state of mind.
He smoothed her hair back and kissed her cheek. "I know. It's okay."
"Sai… h-he…"
Riku's eyes snapped open and he tore himself away abruptly. He felt pent up emotions from the past rush to catch up to him and sink the small happiness he had found in the steadiness of her heartbeat, the few words she could mutter before she drifted asleep. A troubled crease had formed on her brow, and her lips quivered as she spoke.
"I-I couldn't protect... I couldn't…"
"What are you talking about?" he asked carefully. "He's gone now, Keiya. He can't hurt you."
"Please don't be angry," she cried timorously, hiding her face in his shirt.
Riku shrank beneath her words; he felt like a monster, hearing her plead to him so fearfully. "Of course I'm not mad at you—Keiya, what's wrong? Tell me what happened!"
Her words began to slur as her energy dwindled, but he couldn't miss the tears quavering her voice. "I tried," she stressed. "I wanted to stop him… I'm sorry. He was too strong. I just couldn't… stop him…"
"W-what happened? Keiya, what did he do to you?" Riku's voice strained. His blood rushed urgently and his mind was sent into a tumult of anguish. He lifted her head so he might get answers, but it was too late; she was already fast asleep.
Riku was distraught and sick to his stomach, imagining all the horrible things that would turn her into such a sorrowful mess, make her feel compelled to beg for his forgiveness. His conversation with Sai weighed on his mind. There was so much mystery in his words, and accompanied by what he'd heard from Keiya's forced outbursts, the story was still fragmented and didn't make any sense.
"I owe her a life," he said. But what did he mean by that? What happened that he "owed" her?
He couldn't shake the image he had of her from when he'd first found her. Even then, she had been beaten and stained with blood, bruised all over her arms, legs, and shoulders, impaled through the wrist, the wound dripping with darkness…
His eyes narrowed to two enraged slits, and his fists shook in his lap. He hurt her. The way she looked… He did something to her—something that's still disturbing her.
Riku squeezed his lover for comfort, but found that nothing could sever his mind from its fears. His head was a freight train out of control, jumping to conclusions normally locked away as forbidden.
He might have raped her.
The thought brought the taste of bile up his throat.
I swear I could kill him all over again.
~…~
Riku paced in front of the infirmary doors while the nurses went in and out with wet towels and rolls of bandages. Dread snaked maliciously from his brain outward to ward off any reminder of his own pain; a sick adrenaline rush kept him from feeling anything but the guilt-driven suspense. Things had happened to her, terrible things, he thought over and over, and he hadn't been there to stop it. He listened for every murmur, every rattling of equipment that came from inside, and whenever the doors opened, he peered in to try to catch even a small glimpse of her lying on her cot behind white curtains.
"Riku," Sora started uneasily, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're supposed to be in bed…"
The boy shook away his friend's concern with hardly a glance and turned on his heel toward the other side of the hall.
"I told you, I'm not leaving until I hear from the doctor," he snapped. His feet scuffed the floor as he marched back and forth. When Sora stood in his way to try to get his attention, he nearly toppled him over, brushing past him with indignant force.
"H-hey, what's gotten into you?" Sora chastised dejectedly. "I just want to help. I know you're upset, but can't you calm down for one second?"
"No, I can't calm down! That guy Sai… he hurt her! I can't even repeat what he did!"
Riku's voice was sharpened by fury the brunette had never heard before—fury that surprised the silver-haired warrior himself. With a slightly more sobered look, he planted himself against the wall and rubbed his aching head in his hands.
"Ugh, l-look, I'm sorry. I'm not yelling at you."
Sora nodded and joined him beside the door. "Eh, it's okay. You can't scare me," he said proudly. "You know I could just beat you up."
"Right…"
It was easy to tell when Riku was lost in his thoughts, as Sora had found out over the years. His eyebrows sometimes knitted together, or his arms would cross tightly to his chest. At the moment it seemed to be a combination of both, but what gave it away were the eyes. His eyes would invariably become trained directly in front of him, looking off into the distance as if he could see some secret the rest of them couldn't. Riku was completely calm at these meditative moments, so Sora took the opportunity to try to figure out what had his friend so troubled.
"Hey… what happened with Sai?" Sora asked carefully.
The silence was dense while he contemplated an answer. Every fiber in his body was jittering, impatient, and waiting to run the marathon if it meant he would get to see her sooner. Riku sighed and readjusted himself against the wall, stealing another glance at the infirmary door.
"Can't say for sure. I just wish I hadn't gone so easy on him," he responded coolly.
Just then, the doors opened and the doctor stepped out bearing his clipboard and a very unreadable visage. Riku nearly ambushed him on the spot, darting over with a barrage of questions at the ready.
"Well? How is she? Did you get the poison out?"
The man held a finger up to silence him and called for Leon and Aerith to come over. Waiting for the party to assemble, Riku felt his eagerness boil over. The doors were still open; Keiya was inside, unconscious on a hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of monitors, he was sure. Sora was the one who restrained him from slipping inside while the doctor prepared to speak.
"She is fine. In a day or so, the medicine will have completely washed out the poison, and she should be able to wake up. Until then, we're keeping her on sedatives."
Riku felt all his pent-up anxiety escape in one deep, grateful breath. Now starting to feel his legs wobbling under the strain of his worry, he rooted a hand to the wall to support himself as the doctor continued.
"She has broken an arm and a leg, and her body appears to have been injured greatly by trauma. A fall, perhaps?"
Leon nodded his head. "Some of the others saw her fall off a tower."
"Well, that would do it. It's curious, though—she is healing rapidly with medication. I'm not sure how this magic works, but I suspect there won't be any long-term problems. She needs to be bedridden for several weeks, though. I'd say three, at the minimum."
The exhilarated teen, quivering with delight, couldn't hold in a laugh. "I don't think that'll be possible. She's way too stubborn."
"What about her brain?" Leon asked. "Did the poison affect her mentally?"
"All of her brain scans were normal; there was no deterioration, nothing to worry about," the doctor replied, flipping through his charts and diagrams. "Her heart is beating regularly now—we'll keep monitoring her until she stabilizes. The abortion was a little messy, but no permanent damage done. Now, I'm prescribing her—"
"W-wait, what?" Riku interrupted. His face turned sheet white and more fearful by the second. "What do you mean, abortion?"
The air hung heavily over the party, like it would crack if anyone dared to speak. Hesitantly, the doctor flipped a few pages back in his packet.
"The baby…" he said carefully, skimming the lines in his report. "There was an abortion of her child. A young fetus, so it seems there weren't complications. Her insides were rattled up a bit, but the nurses have taken good care of her and cleaned her out."
"Baby? That can't be right…" Riku's voice was barely a whisper. His gaze drooped to the floor and his muscles loosened, as if his body was ready to come undone. "S-she was…?"
"…You didn't know about the abortion?" the doctor inquired regretfully.
Riku shook his head numbly.
Leon intervened, "Why don't we talk outside? You can give me all the details."
The adults filed down the hall one by one, each of them shooting unseen apologetic looks toward the boy now grasping onto the door frame. Sora was the only one who stayed behind, but even he didn't know what to say. He approached Riku with a hand outstretched, ready to help him walk to his room. His mouth, however, hung open in silence.
"She didn't tell me," Riku said quietly. His face was hidden behind silver bangs. "She never said anything about a baby. Our… baby."
"Riku… I'm sorry," Sora managed, hooking an arm around his back. "Why don't we get you back to your room?"
He stood up straight and brushed his friend's offer aside. "No. I want to see her."
"Should I come with you?" the Keyblade wielder suggested, hoping to be of some use.
"Thanks, but I'll be alright by myself."
Riku closed the door with both hands gripping the handle. The darkness of the room fed his misery. He found himself stumbling for balance as he walked to her bed, staring at the floor to avoid tripping over his feet. The room seemed fuzzy through his half-lidded eyes. Where relief should have been, there was only more confusion, more distress, and more nausea. The feeling of betrayal came back with a vengeance, and accompanying it was a newfound surge of shame. With unsteady hands, he pulled back the curtain.
Keiya's face was serene. The dirt and blood had been wiped clean from her skin, and bandages peeked out from under her clothes, hiding her cuts and bruises. She looked fragile, he thought, and detachedly placed a hand to her cheek to feel the smoothness of her skin.
His eyes were fixed on her, entranced by her, but he wasn't seeing her. He was seeing the puddles and streaks of blood on the floor of Maleficent's lair, the spots smeared on her clothes, the darkness running and swirling deep inside her body…
The memory made Riku fall to his knees.
With his hands now twisted in the sheets, he gave into the ache that had settled deep in his heart and let out a solitary cry.
"Why did you do it?" he demanded her sleeping form. His eyes opened wide and poured out shameful tears. "Why did you run away? Why didn't you tell me?"
He could practically hear her response, her meek I'm sorry in that tremulous voice. She had tried to tell him on the ship, but it hardly seemed to make any difference now. She was always keeping secrets.
Riku took her hand and drew it to his face, held the silkiness to his own pale, shivering skin.
"Were you afraid that I would reject you?" he continued, drawing his conclusions while trapped in a cycle of defeat. Guilt wedged in with the other feelings plaguing him—the betrayal and the shame. He wanted to dissect every detail from before she'd left to figure out what had made her fearful of him, but thinking of those blissful, uncomplicated times only shoved the pain further down his throat.
"I would have taken care of you! You and our baby," he admonished, entwining their fingers yearningly. "What made you think you needed to run away?"
"Riku?" Aerith called from outside the door. "Leon wants to talk to you in the kitchen."
Drying his eyes on his sleeve, Riku reluctantly rose from the floor and straightened his jacket. He took another long look at his lover, memorized the way her eyelashes delicately grazed the skin of her face, how her lips hung just the slightest bit open, how her chest rose and fell predictably.
"Sai took it all away, didn't he?" he realized mournfully. He leaned over the cot and brought his lips to hers in a brief, gentle kiss.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you both."
~…~
Author's Note: I'm so sorry about the long wait for this chapter! Midterms and finals prevented me from writing until a couple of weeks ago, and then my new obsession with Avatar… let's just say this chapter had a lot of roadblocks. ^_^'
Yeah… This one was kind of depressing/frustrating, I suppose, but I had fun with the flashbacks, so let me know what you think of those. There will be at least one more in the next chapter.
This story's third anniversary is at the end of this month, and I'd like to post something for it, but I'm at a loss for ideas. So I'm asking you guys, what would you like to see? Should I do another bonus chapter like chapter thirty-one, or write that alternate universe spin-off I mentioned a while ago, or should I just update with the next chapter on that date? (Assuming I can update that quickly. No promises…) I'd like to hear your preferences, or any other ideas you may have!
Thank you for reading, and please review!