So, I found out that there was more to write for this. Never planned on it, but here it is. And from all the things I now have stored up in my documents, there will be more after this one as well. Snapshots really. Enjoy.
It's too bright of a morning. On days like today it should be rainy and dark. Next to me Sansa moans and I feel her roll over, she's trying to bury her face underneath my shoulder. She must share my feelings on this morning. I reach down without looking and take the edge of the blanket and throw it over our heads. That should do the trick.
I'm beginning to remember our night. So unexpected. She sat with me. She shared my wine and her laughter.
My mind is moving slow but I feel so pleased and satisfied like I haven't felt for so long. What will happen when she wakes, I wonder. I do not pray any longer but I have the urge to now. Pray for our pleasant nature towards each other to remain in the light of day.
I look over at her next to me and all I see is red. Her hair is a mess under our cover. I close my eyes again and smile. I told her I would laugh and not be sorry.
When I next awoke it was to Sansa moving again. She had pulled the covers back and was sitting up, looking around.
"I trust you slept well, my lady." We had each gotten up in the night to relieve ourselves, but aside from that we both slept the whole night through as far as I could tell.
She startled and turned to look at me, like she had forgotten for a moment that she was not alone. I started praying with more fervor.
"I...yes. Yes, I slept well, my lord." Quiet and timid. She pulled the covers higher up her body, covering herself. I sat up as well, but didn't move any closer. I made myself comfortable against the headboard.
I stayed quiet, letting her get her bearing. I truly hope she remembers our night in a happy light and not with distaste. I know we will not always be so free with each other, but I do have hope that we will now have a better, less icy relationship. You would think after spending a drunken night together that everything else would be easier.
She remained silent for an unbearable amount of time. I wondered so badly as to what she was thinking, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable with my awkward attempts at conversation. I wanted her to be the first to start talking this morning, and I would take her lead from there. If she was upset, I would try to comfort her with reassurances that our night was in fun, and that no shame should be felt.
She was looking down at the bed, at herself, then to me without a shirt, like she was checking for something. I knew what she was questioning but I remained silent.
Finally she spoke, "We did not..." she shook her head, as if answering herself.
"No, Sansa, we did not." I left it at that.
"We sat the whole night, and sent for wine. Telling stories and laughing. My feet-" She stopped herself short. She was talking mostly to herself it seemed, under her breath, replaying the night back in her head.
A knock on the door sounded and one of the handmaids came in. I took the lead. "We would like some food and water this morning, please, but that will be all. We will not need help preparing this morning." She gave a slight bow, gathered up our mess on the table and left.
I continued to let her sit and think over the night, seeing no need yet to voice anything. I relaxed further, closing my eyes to block out the still too bright light from the window. A good amount of time passed before I felt my wife move, she slowly settled herself back against the headboard beside me, close but not touching. I looked at her, she had a hand to her head and still had the covers up to her breast but she was no longer stiff with uncertainty.
I can't be sure, but I seem to have dozed off for the next thing I know the handmaid is back and setting our food on the table we shared. I turned to Sansa then, "Do you require anything for your head, my lady?"
"No, I am fine, my lord. I've had worse pain." That wasn't reassuring, but I trusted her judgment.
"That will be all, thank you." And the handmaid left us alone once again.
Sansa was still sitting next to me, with her hands now in her lap, patient, as if she were waiting for me to do something. When she rose her eyes to mine I simply gave her a small smile and a nod of my head.
I climb out of bed and go to fetch Sansa's robe and return to the bedside. She smiled then for the first time this morning, and though small and barely there, it was like sunshine after being in shadows. I felt like I could finally breathe. She sat there for a moment more just watching me, before sliding over to my side to get out. I had planned on handing her her robe so she could cover herself, but...instead of taking the robe from me, she moved slowly and turned with her back to me, and knelt. My breath went away again.
She means for me to help her into her robe. This was deliberate, done with meaning, and just for me. The pain and humiliation I had felt at our wedding began to melt away with this one act from my wife.
I helped her put on one arm at a time then lifted it up to settle on her shoulders and I rested my hands there for a moment longer. She raised one hand of her own and placed it atop mine. We are having a conversation without uttering a word. This is an apology, and forgiveness, and an act of companionship and peace.
"Your hair is a mess." I whisper.
A burst of laughter came from Sansa then, and she put a hand to her forehead. I chuckled along with her, so ridiculously pleased, and tugged gently on a piece of her hair in a tease. She reached up to assess the damage and tried to fix what she couldn't see. I did not care if her hair was done up in braids or curls, or fresh out of bed looking a mess like I am now privileged enough to see. She was always sweet to look upon.
She rose up then and turned to me with a smile and blush on her cheeks. I reached forward and tied the sash on her robe closed. I know my lady and she will want to be covered this morning.
Continuing in her ever growing fashion of surprising me, she goes and retrieves my shirt from the night before that I had throw over the side of the bed. She turns back to me and helps me into it like I had helped her but minutes ago.
"Thank you, Sansa." I am quiet but sincere. She only nods her head in reply.
I lead her over to our table with my hand very lightly at her back and I pull her chair out for her before taking a seat myself. Without a servant present, I serve up a plate for Sansa and place it in front of her. "Thank you, my lord." she says.
"My request to be known by you as Tyrion still stands, as long as you allow me to call you Sansa."
She nods her head, "Thank you, Tyrion."
"Of course, Sansa." I say with a smile. We are off to a good start, I think. Now to make it last.
We break our fast in silence but I see her looking next to us, to the floor where our clothes and shoes still lay. She continues to look, deep in thought and I wait patiently for her to speak her mind.
"I wish to apologize for my behavior last night, Tyrion. I am a wife now and I should not-"
"No, stop, Sansa. You have nothing at all to be sorry for." I reach for her hand. "I enjoyed your company last night greatly, wife or not. Since the day you came here I have never seen you so happy or at ease. I wish and hope that you will continue to feel that way, even if it can only be here in our rooms."
She bowed her head taking in what I had said. It was almost as if she was afraid of reprimand for her behavior the night before. "Do you truly not mind, my lord?"
"Truly, Sansa." I give her hand a squeeze and bend my head down to catch her eye. "I have it on good authority that you enjoyed yourself very much last night. Better than how we both feared the night would go. I distinctly remember a certain young lady telling me of her wish to run around the gardens in her underclothes." I give her a sly teasing look.
"I fear that I regret saying that. I would never do such a thing."
"Which is well and good since I forbid you from doing it to begin with." I give her a wink and she gives me a shy smile before looking at the floor again.
My goal for this morning is to put my wife at ease. To make her understand that while it may not always be as boisterous for us like it was last night, it can still be good, we can still find our own happiness within this situation.
"Sansa." She turns her gaze to mine and I hold her attention. "I know that you do not want this marriage and you know that I did not ask for it, but I do not want to see you unhappy in it. You are safe here with me, I give you my word. I know that in court you have to behave a certain way in order to keep yourself from harm, but here, with me, you do not have to act. Please, do not hide behind your courtesies with me."
Through this all I realize that I am still holding her hand and she is now gripping mine back.
"Why are you being so good to me?" Her voice is small and I ache hearing it.
"Because you deserve nothing less, Sansa. My family has put you through hell and I hate them for it. I will not stand to see you disgraced any further." Her eyes are shining now and I know she's keeping herself from crying. My voice grows quiet. "Let me be your friend, that is all I ask of you as my wife."
It takes a moment for her to compose herself but gives a shaky nod of her head and meets my eyes.
"We will get to know each other better and things will get easier." I give her hand one last squeeze before letting go. I miss the warmth in an instant.
Our day after that is spent in quiet companionship, we dress and I suggest enjoying the warm sun by the window to read. She seemed eager at the idea so I showed her the books that were brought to our new rooms. It was a peaceful morning broken up a few times by short conversations. Nothing too deep or taxing, just polite inquiries about the books we were reading. And again at the noon hour when food was brought to us.
One of the servants picked up our clothes that we still left laying on the floor. Despite our marriage bed being free of blood, I live in hope that word will spread of the mess of clothes and will arouse curiosity enough that we will be free from any nasty comments being thrown our way. At least for a little while.
Sansa rested for a bit in the afternoon to try to alleviate her headache and we supped together in our rooms that night, our conversations not overly friendly but neither was it unpleasant. I will give my wife time. When it came to ready ourselves for bed things became stilted again. She would not meet my eye and I once again reassured her that I expected nothing from her in our bed.
"I believe you, my lord. I am just not use to sharing a bed. I apologize." She climbs into bed and pulls the covers to her chest. After blowing out a few candles, I join her on my own side.
Awkward silence falls upon us and I can barely stand it. "You know, I once dreamt that the whole court were dogs, instead of people. All except for my lovely sister. No, her head was the same but placed on the body of a dog. And when she yelled at me all I heard were barks. Just imagine my disappointment when I awoke and it was not true. Ahh, to have a half dog sister. A dwarf can only dream."
I hear Sansa begin to laugh quietly next to me and I smile up at the canopy, "Goodnight, Sansa. May you have as pleasant dreams as that one." A job well done, I have made my wife laugh and I am now ready to sleep knowing she will not go to bed sad and lonely. And neither will I.
The next morning she asks me to fetch her robe again. I do. And I will continue to place it on her shoulders every morning for as long as she is with me.
We break our fast and she tells me, "You were right." I stay quiet and wait for her to go on. "I did enjoy myself, I fear maybe too much."
I'm quick to shake my head, "No, no, you can never enjoy yourself too much on wine. I have had many a great adventures while neck deep in it." She's the one to shake her head this time and she laughs at me.
"I am glad, Sansa. You deserved to enjoy your wedding night."
"I have you to thank for that, Tyrion." She still speaks quietly with me and doesn't put too much emotion into her speech, but I am certain that with time she will relax and become more like the wife I met on our wedding night. I will slowly coax that girl out of hiding and I will be the only one to know her.