((A/N: Now some smut and fluff and stuff to make all the angst better))

The next time you wake up, you feel numb. And stiff. And really, really disoriented. Then it all hit you.

Ianto.

Fuck.

You open your eyes to a dark room. You're on a mattress, but not a great one. Your guess is they stuck you in the furthest spare room they had and just waited. And hoped.

You can't believe it worked.

But you don't care. There's only one thought on your mind right now.

"IANTO! DAD! I'M ALIVE!"

You sit up with an, "Ow, fuck. Headrush..." And within moments, the door bangs open and someone's arms are around you. Judging by the feel, you're guessing Jack's.

"Thank the stars," he says, relief palpable, before pulling back and saying, "Don't you EVER do that to me again!" He runs a hand through his hair, pulling your attention to a few grey ones that have sprung up since you died. He paces for a couple minutes, face flicking through a few more emotions before sitting down next to you.

"Well, I don't want to have that happen again," you finally say, making him chuckle wearily.

"Nobody does." He sighs and finally turns a smile on you, looking almost exactly like he had before all this, just... More tired. "You did really well out there, hun. I'm proud of you."

You grin and hug him, even that not really dampening your joy. Not much could take that away. You're Alive.

Then you pull back as your bubble of happy is hit by a train. "How's Ianto?"

His smile slips slightly. "You should go see him."

There's only one stop you have to make first. Sort of a, "Dear god I am so sorry" present.

You don't give him any notice, which, in retrospect, probably could have been better thought through. Even if it was the right decision.

He opens the door to see you smiling sheepishly, nervous as you say, "Hey."

Even if you knew what to say, you wouldn't have been able to: His look of utter shock and amazement is only just registered before suddenly he's holding you tight. He's shaking as he clings to you, and you can't tell if it's relief or tears because everything is muffled. All you can do is hug him tight in return and try to rub his back to reassure your presence.

Neither of you know how long that lasts or how you moved inside, but soon you've moved on to kissing and just clinging to each other in the hallway. Soon, you're backing each other against walls and only breaking between kisses to whisper breathless 'I love you's and 'I'm here's.

By the time you realize you led him to the bedroom, you're both kissing quite a bit more frantically. Between you being just so happy he still loves you and him just being happy that you're /alive/, you don't have any doubts about how you're about to spend the rest of the day. And probably most of the night.

You let him guide you onto the bed, him following close so that he can pin you down and kiss you deeper, adding more heat to the touch and letting his hand not pinning your wrists wander. The kiss easily catches a moan as you arch up to his hand and you can't help but think this is /exactly/ how you would want to spend your first day back.

You gasp as he moves to nip and suck at your neck, instead, your hips rocking slightly at a particularly sharp one that you think will leave a mark. "Ah, Ianto, fuck, I missed you."

He moans something that sounds like 'I missed you, too,' as your hips accidentally end up grinding against his since he was much closer than you realized. Either way, things are escalating quickly and he lets go of your hands for a moment to work the buttons on your shirt. One moment is all you need.

You flip so that you're straddling him, new hands deft as they tug off his shirt to rake your nails over his chest. It's more than worth it as you feel and see him arch to your touch, moaning soft and low. Soon you have him pinned so that you can bite and nip down his chest, making his moans shange to include your name. You can't help but smirk against his skin as you both forget anything but right here, right now.

Then you rock your hips and the sound he makes goes straight to your sex drive, spurring you to do it again as you lean over him to bite gently along his neck. You have to let go of his hands to do so, but that's okay. Because now he;s clutching at you and it's fantastic.

"Oh, god, Jacque," he gasps, his hips bucking up to yours with every rock against him. "Fuck, please!"

This time you have no witty comeback. All you have to do is sit up, rock your hips one last time, and stay still long enough to get his attention before you unbutton your top.

Because unwrapping presents is half the fun.

You slowly reveal a black, strappy chemise with mesh between the thick crisscrosses, highlighting what figure you have and hiding any parts you'd rather not acknowledge. It's almost like something BDSM for the more vanilla crowds and it has his eyes glued to you. You chose well.

Apparently a little too well, since you two are flipped again as he bites at your throat, rocking his hips into yours and grinding against you as he guides your hands to the headboard. You can feel his hands tugging off the trousers you were wearing, as well as his own, before his fingers find all of your strongest turn ons, from the inside of your thighs to the more obvious spots on your chest, and he bites, sucks, and nips a trail from your throat to your ears, making you cry out from so many turn ons in at once and then again in quick succession.

"Geez, Ianto, a-ah, please!" you gasp, body reacting to his every touch, "Please, I- FUCK."

He did exactly as you asked, or tried to ask, somehow tugging off your thing and his briefs without you noticing because suddenly he's /there/ and starting a hard, fast pace the second he knows you're okay.

All you can do is hold on - to him, the sheets, the headboard - moaning as you rock your hips to meet his every thrust.

Before long, you're both at the edge, and he shifts your hips enough to hit deeper and OH, GOD AND GODDESS. Pleasure washes over you and you're pretty sure you're sobbing his name as you tense and cling to him, his hips bucking erratically as he comes with you and clutches you close.

When you can both eventually breathe and think again, you're in a tangled heap, both panting heavily as you just cling to each other. Then you're kissing again, though not as urgently as before. And this time, 'I missed you's and 'I'm sorry's are what you whisper in between.

Eventually, even those quiet. You're finally both content to just hold on to each other. Just being back is enough.

A couple hours of cuddling later, you nuzzle and kiss him softly - something you've been doing for a while, by then - and say, "I love you. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want you to see. I wanted to be better, or at least just growing back, bef-"

He silences you with a tender kiss, only pulling back to gently cup the side of your face and say simply, "I know. I'm sorry for rushing in, but I want to be with you. Even then, I needed to be with you. You shouldn't have to go through something like that at all, but if you do, at least let me be there to hold your hand."

You didn't realize you were crying until he started kissing the tears away, and you end up just holding on to each other for several more hours before you say, "I'm sorry I did that to you. I can't even imagine what that must have been like..." He just kisses you again, interrupting you.

So you decide to just show him without words.

You slowly turn the kiss up, letting some heat in before slowly kissing and nipping a trail down his neck. Eventually you start to wind your way over his chest and let your fingers catch at his sides, pulling soft sounds of want from him. You just smirk to see that it's working, one hand moving between his thighs to tease him as you slowly lick and kiss your way down his body. By the time you're at his navel, you've got him clutching at the sheets and moaning, each punctuated by soft gasps as he rocks up to your clever fingers.

This time, you know what he likes. So when you take him into your mouth, this time, it's really very easy to get him to cry out your name. Between your tongue and fingers and changing how much you take each time, he's quickly gasping out a warning of how close he is. This time, though, you don't move. A quick breath is all you need before letting him hit the back of your throat, swallowing to let him feel that before needing to as he climaxes. when he eventually stills, you pull away and wipe off the corners of your mouth before returning to his arms.

"I love you," he mumbles, and you can tell his head is spinning.

That just pulls a smile to your lips as you reply, "I love you, too," and kiss him on the cheek.

This goes back and forth for a bit before you both doze off in each other's arms.

That next morning, you wake up first.

You had guessed that you would - what, new body and all - but that was what you wanted. Because, this time, you're making /him/ breakfast. You are especially good at pancakes, since you make then from scratch. So he wakes up to that and tea fixed how he likes it almost exactly how you did when he made you breakfast: the only difference being he stirred as you opened the door to come in.

And, this time, you two actually get to eat it while the food is hot.

"'Lo, love," he says, an adorable smile on his face to match his rumpled hair.

You've never seen him this early: usually he's pulled himself together, at least mentally, by the time you're up. Right now, between the way he stretches and the slight cadence of his voice, he looks like an overgrown five year old. And it'c completely adorable.

"Hey, handsome," you say, grinning at the bit of a treat you're getting, "I made you breakfast~"

He chuckles and pulls himself into a sitting position before rubbing at his eyes. "You didn't have to do that-"

"I know," you answer, "But I wanted to."

You end up sharing the pancakes with him, hips and shoulders touching and the tray across half of each of your laps, and just cuddle for a bit when the plate's cleans.

"That was fantastic," he says with a smile, "Really, you're a brilliant cook."

You just grin and blush at his praise, shaking your head and saying, "You're better, but I'm glad you like it~"

And then you sort of lose track of time, just cuddling and getting wrapped up in each other, so you don't realize that it's several hours later when he suggests watching a movie. "And if we don't have anything here you like," he adds, "We can go to the library. Though it's probably covered in dust, by now."

That makes you look up, eyebrows drawn together slightly, "Why's that?"

He just looks at you, a bit confused, "You've been gone several months, love. Did nobody tell you?"

"There wasn't really time," you mumble, "I came out to see you first..."

That starts to get you thinking about the fact that for a month and a half the people you loved had to live with what you did and how you died.

"I'm sorry-" you start to say, but Ianto just shakes his head and kisses you.

"No apologies, love," he says softly, eyes warm and loving, "You did what you had to. You actually saved a lot of people. It was just hard, but you're back now. So I'm not hearing it."

You smile up at him and kiss him back when he pulls you into another one.

"So..." you ask softly, "Cleaning day in the library?"