CHAPTER FIVE
It had been a couple of days since Neal saw Alex last. After their little discussion back at the hospital, Neal tried calling her, but she had changed her number. He didn't know where she lived, and no one from the island would volunteer to give him that information. He tried to ask the employees from Lolana's but to no avail. Then, he remembered, there was still one person left on the island that could help him.
Neal entered the Tiki Lounge in search for Lima. He found her in a booth in the far corner, sitting on Mozzie's lap and kissing him . He walked towards them and stood next to the couple. They didn't seem to notice him, so he cleared his throat. Still, he got no reaction.
"Moz, you think you can let go of Lima's tongue long enough for her to talk to me. I need to ask her something." Neal finally told Mozzie.
Mozzie broke away from their kiss, much to Lima's chagrin, and looked up to meet Neal's eyes.
"How about, 'Gee, Moz, glad you got back safely!' Or, 'How was your trip, Mozzie?'" he said to Neal, quite annoyed.
"We'll have time for that later." Neal told him. He turned to Lima. "I need your help." he said urgently.
"What's up, Blue?" Lima asked him.
"I need to find Alex." Neal replied.
"If by Alex, you mean 'Sierra', then I can't help you." she told him. "Here's an idea, why don't you go ask Charlie?" she suggested.
"I'm liable to get shot if I do that." Neal answered. "Please, Lima! I need to find her. It's important." he implored Mozzie's girlfriend.
Lima looked at Neal, and then turned her gaze to Mozzie. Mozzie smiled at her. "The sooner you talk to him, the sooner he goes away...the sooner we can get back to what we were doing." he pointed out.
Lima smiled back. "Good point." she said to Mozzie. She turned to Neal. "Tell me what you need, Blue." she told him.
"I need to know where Alex is. I haven't seen her in two days, I'm really worried about her." Neal answered.
"Why? What happened?" Mozzie asked him. Neal told them both about the cliff-diving accident. Mozzie shook his head. "Seriously, that girl is just a walking disaster." he said.
"Lima, please...I need to know if she's alright!" Neal begged her.
"I haven' t heard from her, Blue. Last time we talked, she said she wasn't feeling well, and that she might take some time off to rest. She didn't tell me about any accident." she sighed.
"Just tell me where she is and I'll go there myself." Neal told her. "I have looked all over this island and I can't find her. And no one in this island would tell me. Please help me, Lima...you're my only hope." he tried to charm her with a smile.
"Oh, you're good, Blue." Lima said. "But that smile, and those dimples, and the puppy dog eyes won't work on me." she added.
"Come on, darling. Give the guy a break." Mozzie told her.
"She's a person who values her privacy. I can't betray her trust. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you where she lives, Blue." Lima apologized. She saw Neal hung his head low in disappointment. "But I suppose, if you guessed, that would be okay." she added, with a grin on her face.
Neal's brightened up after he heard what she said. "Okay, shoot! Give me a hint." he said.
"Well, you said you scoured the island in search of her..." Lima began.
"Yes, I've looked everywhere...I couldn't find her." Neal answered.
"If you looked everywhere on the island and couldn't find her, that means..." she let her voice trail off. Neal's face had a blank expression.
"That means she does NOT live on this island!" Mozzie deduced.
"Good job, baby!" Lima told Mozzie, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.
"She doesn't live on this island?" Neal asked.
"As I've said, she values her privacy. Every local know everyone's business on this island. Her choice of residence is slightly more 'offshore' if you catch my drift." Lima replied.
"Offshore?" Neal asked.
Lima rolled her eyes. "Just go by the wharf and ask the ferryman to take you to that overwater bungalow by the lake. He'll know where it is." she finally told Neal.
"Thanks, Lima!" Neal leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. After that, he ran out of the warung to go to Alex.
"You didn't hear it from me!" Lima shouted after him. She turned her attention back to Mozzie and smiled. "So...Moz, huh?" she said. "Is that short for something?" she asked.
"Maybe." Mozzie replied mysteriously.
"Ohhh...a secret! I must warn you, I have my ways of making a man talk." she told him in a sultry voice.
Mozzie saw the look on her face, and smiled. "Kinky." he said.
"Oh, kinky doesn't even begin to describe it." she whispered into his ear, before she gently nibbled his earlobe.
Mozzie pulled away slightly and looked at her. "Let's get out of here. I need a demonstration...see if this 'method' of yours really work." With that, he took her hand and they both ran out of the place in a hurry.
Neal sat on the boat as the ferryman took him out to the lake. He didn't have to wait long since Alex's place wasn't too far from the island. It was an overwater cottage, overlooking a clear lake with striking green mountains on the background. It was a modest and cozy place to dwell, not to mention private and very secluded.
Neal knocked on Alex's door. There was no answer at first, so he did it again. Moments later, Alex opened the door and look at him sleepily. Once she saw it was Neal, she tried to slam the door to his face, but Neal stuck out his foot out so that the door won't close.
"Well, good morning to you too, Sunshine!" Neal greeted her with a smile.
"Go away, Caffrey." Alex told him.
Neal's mile grew wider once he got a full view of Alex. She was wearing a flimsy nightgown that barely reached the middle of her thighs, and a pair of fuzzy slippers. She noticed Neal staring at her and she crossed her arms in an attempt to cover herself up.
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Neal told her.
"I'm fine." Alex replied.
"Oh, yeah. You look really fine, alright." Neal said suggestively.
Alex glared at him, then noticed he was hiding something in his hand behind his back. "What you got there?" she asked curiously.
Neal held out his hand. "What? This?" he said. "I come bearing gifts." His hand was holding a large size cup of coffee.
"Wooing a woman with coffee...boy, you have really lost your touch, Caffrey." Alex said.
"Well, if you don't want it..." Neal tried to take the coffee away.
"No way...it's mine now!" Alex quickly move away from Neal.
Neal smiled. "Now, can I come in?" he asked.
Alex relented and let Neal inside. He studied her intently, as she finished her coffee within a few big sips.
"Did Lima tell you where I live?" Alex asked. Neal continued to stare at her, but didn't answer. "Remind me to fire her next time I see her." she said frustratedly.
"You're not gonna fire her." Neal told her. "Besides, it wasn't her fault. Never underestimate Mozzie's power of persuasion." he added.
"They're STILL at it then!" she commented, as she put a robe on to cover up her body, much to Neal's disappointment.
"There's really no use for that. I've already seen you naked numerous times." Neal told her.
"It's been ages since the last time you saw me naked." Alex pointed out.
"Not THAT long ago...remember that skinny dipping stunt you pulled a while back?" Neal reminded her.
"I was under the water the whole time." Alex said. She raised an eyebrow. "You peeked!" she accused him.
"Maybe." Neal replied. "The point is, I've seen you naked plenty of times, I have your body memorized by now. I can close my eyes and see what you look like naked. So it's really kind of pointless to cover yourself up." he continued. He closed his eyes and moments later, had a huge grin on his face. "See? I have an image of your naked body right now!" he teased.
Alex gently smacked him on the side of his head. "Stop that!" she said. Neal still had his eyes closed and his smile grew even wider. "Seriously, stop it!" she told him again.
Neal opened his eyes and looked at her. "You look good naked." he said playfully.
"That's it! You're not allowed to visualize me naked anymore." she told him.
"Why not?" Neal asked her.
"Because we're not together anymore." Alex answered. "I have a boyfriend now." she reminded him.
"Oh, yes...Colin Henry, Reuters photojournalist extraordinaire!" Neal remarked.
"You looked my boyfriend up?" Alex asked him incredulously.
"I still don't trust him." Neal replied.
"Doesn't matter what you think." Alex told him.
"Go out with me." Neal proposed.
"What? Like on a date? No!" she answered.
"Why not?" he asked again.
"Again...I have a boyfriend!" Alex reiterated.
"Your boyfriend isn't here." Neal said suggestively.
"And YOU are leaving in a couple of days." she reminded him.
"You don't know that. I can see myself staying here indefinitely." he revealed to her.
"Does Mozzie know that?" she asked.
"Mozzie won't mind staying...he has a gorgeous woman sexing him up constantly." Neal pointed out. "So...how about it? Go out with me." he pressed.
Alex thought about the idea for a moment. She saw the look in Neal's eyes. "Well, I was going to take the kids from the Children's Village to go to the Kuta Karnival today. You're more than welcome to join us." she said softly.
"It's a date!" Neal replied.
"No, it is NOT a date. It isn't even close to being a date." Alex denied. "I merely asked you if you wanted to accompany us to the Kuta Karnival." she clarified.
"I don't get it...how is this NOT a date?" Neal asked.
"There will absolutely be NO sex for you at the end of the day." Alex answered.
"When you put it like that, I don't see how I can refuse." Neal said.
Alex smiled. She noticed what time it was. "I better get ready then." she told him. "I'm gonna go take a bath now." she said.
"And I will be right here, waiting for you." Neal replied. "Remember that...just in case you need my help with rubbing any of the 'hard to reach places'." he implied.
Alex threw one of her slippers at him, which whizzed past his head. "Missed me!" Neal said. His laugh was cut short when Alex's other slipper hit him in the face.
Later, at the Kuta Karnival, Neal and Alex were joined by the Lastri and the kids from the Children's Village, as well as Lima and Mozzie. Neal observed Alex and the way she treated the children, the way she made sure that they all were enjoying themselves. It was a side of Alex that was rarely seen, at least not my him.
Mozzie excused himself from Lima and headed over to talk to Neal. He noticed his friend as he watched Alex intently. He cleared his throat to get Neal's attention.
"Oh, hey Moz." Neal greeted him.
"Hey." Mozzie greeted back. "Listen, Neal, I met with Charlie earlier." he told him. "I gave him the merchandize already. I hope you don't mind." he added.
"No, not at all." Neal answered, not taking his eyes off Alex.
"The thing is, he said he already has buyers lined up. He can have the money wire to our account as early as tonight." Mozzie revealed.
Neal turned away from Alex to look at Mozzie. "Tonight? That fast?" he asked.
"Yeah." Mozzie replied. "So if you're planning to make a move, mon frère, do it soon." he urged Neal.
They were soon joined by Lima and Merpati, who grabbed Mozzie's hand and tried to pull him to the direction of the cotton candy stand. The little girl's smile tugged at Mozzie's heart. "You want a cotton candy, sweetheart?" he asked. The little girl nodded. Mozzie turned to Neal. "I have to go. I'm surrounded by beautiful yet fairly demanding women." he told his friend, before talking Lima and Merpati to buy some cotton candy.
Neal thought about what Mozzie said. He didn't want to leave yet, especially now that he was already making some progress with Alex. And he couldn't just ask Alex to run away with him, for she will surely say no. He continued to observe Alex. Her laughter, as she played with the children made her look even more beautiful. He exhaled as tried to think of an alternative to leaving. His mind was too far away, he didn't notice Lastri walk up to him.
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Moreau?" Lastri asked him.
"I just have a lot of things weighing on my mind, Lastri." Neal answered.
"You too, huh?" the elderly woman asked. "There's a lot of that going around lately." she said. She too observed Alex and the children from a distance.
"What's weighing on your mind?" Neal asked her.
"I don't know how to tell them..." Lastri replied. She looked at Neal. "Sierra and the children...they'd be devastated." she continued.
Neal furrowed his eyebrow. "Tell them what?" he asked.
Lastri sighed. "The Children's Village...it's being torn down soon." she revealed. "Some rich land developer is trying to buy the property from the local officials." she continued.
"Can they do that?" Neal asked.
"The deal is not closed yet, but I imagine it would be soon." Lastri replied.
"What about the kids? What's going to happen to them?" Neal asked again.
"I don't know, Mr. Moreau." she answered. She looked at the children's happy faces. "But for now, there's nothing I can do, except make sure that the children enjoyed this day." she told him.
Neal and Lastri soon joined Alex and the kids. Lastri took over looking after the group, while Neal took Alex aside to talk to her.
"You having fun?" Neal asked her.
"Yes, I am." Alex answered.
"No, you're not. You're too busy making sure that everyone else is having fun." Neal pointed out.
"Seeing those kids happy makes me happy." she replied.
"Come on...let's go do something." Neal told her.
"Like what?" Alex asked.
"I don't know...something fun." Neal replied, as he took her hand in his.
Together, they walked around the Karnival, passing by different booths, trying out the local food. Neal was determined to have at least one happy moment to share with Alex before he leaves Bali.
Alex just stopped walking all of a sudden. Neal noticed her staring at something and followed her gaze. She was looking at the carousel, her mind caught inside a powerful memory.
"You okay?" Neal asked.
"You really need to stop asking me that, Caffrey." Alex answered. She looked at him. "I'm fine. I just remembered a happy moment in my life." she told him.
"Care to share?" he asked.
"After my parents died, my grandparents took me in. They were old, and they weren't exactly the richest people in New York City, but they did their best to raise me. I didn't always get what I wanted, but they made sure I got what I needed. They were probably the most loving people I knew." Alex told Neal.
Neal just looked at Alex, as she continued with the rest of her story. "My fondest memory of them from when I was a child involves a carousel. See, every time I got good grades, my grandparents would always take me tothe Central Park Carousel. We would wait in line for an hour, just to get to that 3 and a half minute ride...it was worth it. I remember the sweet calliope music that always played during the ride. And I remember I always got to ride thewhite pony with the red saddle." She turned to Neal and noticed him just staring at her. "Anyway, it's nice to have fond memories like that with the people you love." she told him.
Neal beheld her beauty as she stood in front of him. He realized that underneath the facade, Alex was not the high maintenance woman she makes herself out to be. On the contrary, it didn't really take much to make her happy. That gave Neal an idea.
Without warning, Neal lightly grabbed Alex's hand. "Let's go." he said, pulling her forward.
"Where?" she asked.
"The carousel." he answered.
"Are you kidding me? They're not gonna let us in there. It's for kids!" Alex told him.
"Well, you are a kid at heart...and I've been accused more than once of being the boy who wouldn't grow up. I think that makes us qualified for that ride." Neal replied. "Come on, my treat. Think of the white pony with the big red saddle." he urged her.
Hand in hand, they ran towards the carousel. Neal gave the attendant more than enough money to let them on the ride. Soon enough, they were on the carousel, next to each other...with Alex riding the white pony with the red saddle, as promised. Neal watched her as she laughed the whole time. Probably the first time he had seen her laugh heartily since he arrived in Bali. Neal realized that this was it...that one happy memory with Alex that he'll take with him once he leaves.
Once they got off the carousel, Alex thanked Neal and rejoined the Lastri and the children. Neal was approached by Mozzie.
"That looked like fun." Mozzie said.
"That, it was." Neal replied.
"Take out your phone." Mozzie told him. Neal did as he was told. "I'm sending you something." Mozzie said, as he took out his own phone.
Neal heard the beep of the message alert and saw that Mozzie sent him an image file. Neal opened the file, and saw a photo of him and Alex on the carousel, laughing and enjoying the ride...like a couple of kids having the time of their lives.
Neal turned to look at his friend. "Thanks, Moz." he said.
"You're welcome, mon frère." Mozzie replied.
Once they got back to the island late that afternoon, Neal and Mozzie headed to Lolana's to meet up with Charlie. They found the older man at his usual table, working on his laptop. When he saw Neal and Mozzie, he waved them over to join him.
"Did the little guy tell you?" Charlie asked Neal. "I sold the merchandize." he added.
"Yes, he told me, Charlie. Thank you." Neal replied.
"He sold the pieces for one and a quarter million...we were only only expecting three quarters of a million." Mozzie said. "You are good!" he told the old man.
"There's one more thing we need to do." Charlie told them. He cracked his knuckles, then went on typing on the laptop. Mozzie sat next to him.
Neal just let them do the work. His heart wasn't really set on it. It was just another one of those things that inched him closer to leaving the island...leaving Alex behind. He looked out the window and watched Alex as she played with Kersen and Merpati. They were trying to fly the kite they bought back at the Karnival, but the kite kept falling down. Neal laughed softly as he witnessed them do the same thing and got the same result.
"Alright, so that's $1,250,000 minus my 23% makes it $962,500." Charlie said to Mozzie.
"Check." Mozzie replied.
"I just need your account and routing number..." Charlie told Mozzie.
Mozzie typed it in. "There you go." he said.
"The money will be wired within the next few hours." Charlie declared. "In spirit of camaraderie, I'll even pay for both of your one-way tickets outta here. It was a pleasure doing business with you." he shook Mozzie's hand. He turned to shake Neal's hand as well, but Neal's mind was some place else.
"What the hell is wrong with him?" Charlie asked Mozzie.
Mozzie shrugged and pointed out the window to where Neal was looking. Charlie looked out and saw Alex playing with the kids.
"She loves those kids." Charlie revealed to them.
"I can see that. It's funny though, Alex never struck me as the maternal type." Neal replied.
"That's Alex...you can only see what she wants you to see. Truth is, she's been wanting to have children of her own for a while now. She figured she'll never be alone again if she has a kid. Not really the right reason to have a child, if you ask me...but Alex has a lot of love to give. She would've been a great mother." Charlie told her.
Neal shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, Charlie, but I think the reason why Alex always ends up alone is because she likes to keep people at bay." he said.
"Don't be so quick to judge, Blue Eyes. There's a reason why she does what she does." Charlie replied. "She treats people the same way she treats fire...good for warmth and comfort, but if you stay too close for too long, you get burned." he added.
"Is that why she leaves a trail of broken relationships?" Neal asked.
Charlie shook his head. "Wrong again, Blue Eyes. Alex doesn't leave people...people leave her. At least, that's what she believes inside her head. She carries around so much guilt from everyone she loves dying on her...leaving her behind. She goes through life every single day worried that someone she loves is going to leave her, and that it's going to be her fault. What do you think makes her run so fast?" he told Neal. "Her heart had been shattered to many pieces too many times over...the death of her parents, her grandparents, her kid, and Hale-" he said before he was interrupted.
"Wait...did you just say kid?" Neal asked.
"Alex had a child?" Mozzie asked almost at the same time.
"You didn't know?" Charlie asked. He looked out the window again and watched Alex with the children. "The child would've been Kersen's age by now." he revealed.
"What happened?" Mozzie inquired.
"She lost the baby. The kid never had a chance to be born." Charlie answered. "That's too bad, cause that kid missed out on having a terrific mother." he added.
"Go on." Neal urged the older man.
"You have to understand, it wasn't Alex's fault. She didn't know she was pregnant at the time." Charlie clarified. "It happened years ago. She did a job in Copenhagen. It was supposed to be a simple recovery job...before everything went to hell. Next thing she knew, she woke up in some French hospital...that's when the doctor told her she lost her baby." he continued.
Neal held his breath from the moment he heard the word 'Copenhagen'. His thoughts screamed at him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"You wanna know what the kicker is?" Charlie asked interrupting Neal's thoughts. "The baby's father just left her there. Didn't even bother to check on her. Didn't care enough to visit her at the hospital. He just left her there." he added, you could hear every bit of his anger spilling from him mouth. "Now, I know that I'm a bastard...I'll be the first one to admit that. But what the hell kind of man would leave a woman behind, injured and alone in some foreign land, just so he could make his own get away scott-free?" he said, fully knowing that every single word he uttered sliced into Neal's heart. With that, he quickly stood up and left the lounge, leaving Neal and Mozzie stunned.
The was silence for a while. Mozzie was the first to talk. "After Kate left you, you carried on a relationship with Alex. That seem to have ended after the Copenhagen job" he recalled. "You're the kid's father." he deduced.
Neal just sat there, his hands clasped together, his face pale with the shock. "Yes." he answered softly once he regained his voice. He looked at Mozzie with pleading eyes brimming with tears. "You have to believe me, Moz, I had no idea!" he told his friend.
"I know...I know." Mozzie reassured him.
"I just left her there..." Neal recalled. "I took off and just left her there." he repeated.
"Like you said, you didn't know." Mozzie replied.
Neal wasn't listening to him though. " I can't even imagine how hurt and terrified she must have been back then...and I just left her there alone." he continued. Finally, stood up and headed for the door. "I have to talk to her, Moz!" he said as he left hurriedly.
"Neal, wait!" Mozzie said, but it was too late. Neal was already gone.
Outside, Alex waved goodbye to Kersen and Merpati. It was starting to get dark, and they need to go back to the Children's Village. She turned around to go back to Lolana's, when she saw Neal. He stood there and stared at her, with tears in his eyes. She immediately got worried.
"Neal...what's wrong?" she asked him.
Neal slowly moved closer and a pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, Alex! I am so sorry!" he apologized.
Alex pulled back slightly. "Sorry? About what?" she asked again.
Neal looked at her tenderly. "I know about what happened in Copenhagen, Alex." he revealed.
There was a mixture of pain, sadness and anger on Alex's face. "Charlie?" she asked. Neal nodded his head. "Why the hell would he tell you that?" she spat out angrily.
"More importantly, why didn't YOU tell me?" Neal asked her.
Alex tried to pull away from Neal's grasp, but he wouldn't let her go. "I didn't know, Neal! Believe me, I didn't know I was pregnant. If I'd known, I wouldn't have taken that risk jumping the palace gates. I wouldn't have taken that job at all." Alex tried to convince him, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry!" she said in between sobs.
Neal held her tightly. "Shhh...I believe you. It's wasn't your fault." he tried to comfort her.
Alex gently pushed Neal away. "Charlie shouldn't have said anything. He had no right!" she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I needed to know." Neal replied.
"Why? It doesn't do us any good." she pointed out. "I didn't want you to get hurt. I didn't want you to know about that one more thing in your life that you lost...something in life you wanted, but didn't get to have. I wanted to save you from all that grief." Alex explained.
"God, Alex! Why is it that you get irritated whenever I want to protect you, but it's okay for you to protect me?" Neal said angrily. "You should have told me." he added.
"I don't see the point of discussing-" she replied before Neal interrupted her.
"You don't see the point?" Neal asked incredulously.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Alex yelled.
"Why the hell not?" Neal pressed.
"Because it's painfully cruel!" she answered. "I keep thinking of the words I will NEVER get to hear from my child...'Goodnight, Mommy!' and 'I love you, Mommy!' I will never know how it feels like to hug or kiss my child goodnight. That won't happen because my baby is gone." Tears began to fall from her eyes again. "I lost my baby...our baby. It's okay if you hate me, Neal. I have never forgiven myself for what happened. I don't think I ever will." she told him.
"I don't hate you, Alex. Nobody hates you." Neal assured her. "Look around...everyone loves you. People do care about you...you just think we're all wrong." he told her.
"Why don't you just go, Caffrey? I know that you have your money...so why don't you just go? It will be the best thing for both of us." she said to him. "Just leave, and never look back. Because I can't stand to look at you and not remember everything that I've lost." With that, she turned around and ran away.
"Sorry, Alex." Neal whispered to himself. "I can't do that...I can't leave you. Not again." he muttered. He took his hands and rubbed his face. "MOZZIE!" he called his friend, who he knew was standing not too far away from him.
Mozzie emerged from the shadows and walked towards him. "We staying?" he asked Neal.
"Hell yeah, we're staying." Neal answered with great determination.
"Alright...I'll go talk to Charlie." Mozzie told him, before leaving to find the older man.
~END OF CHAPTER FIVE~
FOOTNOTES :
*It's been said before that Neal never says that he'sorry. I wanted to create a scenario where Neal genuinely felt the need to apologize...and actually meant it.
*Writers have been pretty vague about Neal and Alex's relationship was like and what really happened in Copenhagen. This is MY take on their story.
*Many thanks for the patience and the love. Hope you like this installment of the story.